A
female
age
30-35,
*llic
writes:am 19 i have been with my current boy friend for almost a year. he really loves me, and i like him too but i dont love him. i care about him. but am insecure around him, i dont like being in his company.There is another guy (guy two), he is my best friend we talk about every thing we share secrets and i have loved him secretly for 3 years, i was afraid to tell him how i feel because i didnt want to jeoperdise our friendship. also he moved out from town last year,its 3 hours drive from where i live but we still usually contact by phone. so last year when guy one propsed to me i accepeted because i want to get over guy two , but instead of getting over i started missing him, remebering the times i spent with him.Recently i told him that i love him. and he told me that he dont feel that way about me. i was so shocked. but after few days his feelings start changing and we start spending time and finally i kissed him, but all the time i was kind of forcing him. every thing he did was just to make me happy. also he told me to be with my current boyfriend and forget about him, like i can do that. finally i told guy one that I am in love with someone. because i knew if guy two knows i have dumped my boy friend, he would be with me at least to make me happy. but when i told my boy friend he became very upset and told me he would have no one than lose me. i was worried he was going to do something stupid. Both gthe guys are good friends. as well their families are pretty close. so i dont know what to do. i dont love my Boy Friend. I am in love with my best friend. and i know that i will only be happy if i am with him but i dont want to damage their friendship by being with him, if I continue with my current boy friend. will he ever trust me.? my best friend told me i should be with my boy friend.besides i know by being with guy two i will be happy, but i dont think i will be happy seeing guy 1 get hurt. also every one will be happy if i keep on with my boy friend but i wont be happy. which one should i choose?
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female
reader, Allic +, writes (10 November 2011):
Allic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthx for ur replys.
but i know if i keep on datin guy 1 i wont be happy though, everybdy, (including both guys) would be happy, and i dont want to hurt anyone of them by breaking their frendships, so should i choose my happiness over others? besides i know i will never love anyone as i loved guy 2.
A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 R U SERIOUS??? What happened to respect for friendship? These guys are friends. If you really like guy number 2 then break CLEAN with Guy #1 and GIVE IT SOME TIME to clear off then make move on GUY #2. You cannot jump straight from one guy to the other and whilst you with one you are kissing the other... Its not cool.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): I don't think either guy will make you happy. Guy one loves you and wants to be with you but you don't love him. Guy two doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you and you are trying to make him feel these things. You can't make anyone love someone...you know that because you can't make yourself love guy one.
Your first order of business should be ending your relationship because it's not mutual and you are unhappy. That will free you up to date guys who you can have a future with. Your second order of business should be to live a happy life on your own until you meet someone who you want to be with and who also wants to be with you. It will come naturally and not through force or convincing like both of your situations right now.
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A
female
reader, cinc71  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 Hi,
No matter what you do someone will get hurt, but what's important in life is to be happy. If you know you don't love your bf don't waste his time and yours, let him go and find someone who loves him. If it doesn't work with guy #2 at least you tried. Good luck!
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