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My boyfriend's ex won't leave us alone!

Tagged as: Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *aiti30 writes:

MY b oyfrined was with his now ex for 4 years, he cheated on me with her in our first 4 months of dateing, i found out and i had a constant battle with her fro 6 months! shed keep finding ways to contact me after i blocked every number. it got to the point where i almost filed a report with the cops fr harrasment.

For 3 months nothing wen ton, and just 2 months ago? Id go through mybfs fone (just to make sure) and there was always this missed number more then 2 times, always missed calls, so ik he didnt have contact, and at first i didnt think it was her, i had her numbers in my fone cause i knew somewhere in the future id have to deal with her again.

she got a new number, i text the number form his fone asking "who is this?" she text back with "a friend" and he has a signute kaitis-man, which is me, and i got a text back saying "if he didnt tell you, i wont tell you" and that really made me mad, and i figured if he texts her without his signature shed know it was me, and i called, and i said, not so nicely "who is this" she said the same thing "if he didnt tell you i wont" i went off i said "you have 3 seconds to tell me who the **** you are before you get a real problem on your hands" she said "dnt call me again".

i have nothing to accuse him of cheating from missed calls, and if he deleted the outgoiing or incoming calls, hed just delete them all... So im 50/50 on if hes cheating, and im 80 percent sure its his ex, but i dont wanna text the number and start this 6 month drama all over zgzain...

do i text her? wait for something else to pop up before i make furthur contact? leave him? or how do i get her to stop being a grade A physco???

Please help!!!!!!! (btw she has a ne wbf of 7 months)

View related questions: cheated on me, his ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011):

No part of this relationship sounds healthy. He's already cheated on you, and you can't even be sure he isn't now! And you've also had to deal with his ex harassing you? 1) He should never have cheated on you, and 2) He should have put a stop to his ex problem a loooong time ago. You need to leave him and get some self-esteem.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntWhy are you bothering yourself with her?

SHE isn't the one cheatng on you.. HE is!

It's not going to stop unless HE stops it.

I can't imagine being in a relationship where I would have to police my BF's phone and "check up" on him. Clearly, he doesn't really care how this makes you feel.

He must really like the drama....

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A female reader, Mariab United Kingdom +, writes (8 November 2011):

Mariab agony auntWhat I don't understand is why are YOU policing this woman??? The relationship was between HIM & HER and if he can't respect you enough to drop her and cut communication with his ex (knowing what this means to you), then HE is just not worth it. If I were you, I would not communicate with the ex AT ALL...it shows that you are threatened by her presence and she seems to enjoy this game.

Your bloke should be putting you first and if he can't then you need to decide if you can live with that. Good luck xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011):

i don't mean to be truthfully honest, but i think you already know the answer, this woman for some reasons is feeling vibes from him, that there is still a chance, He needs to fix this situation once and for all, He is dragging old feelings into your space, be careful

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