Our "casual" relationship!
Q. So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...
A. 16 April 2011: Why do people come here and get really good advice (that a lot of people would, and do, pay for elsewhere) only to ignore the great advice given and then come back with the "I'm so confused" routine. You're not the only one confused. So are all the ... (read in full...)
If she's engaged then why is she acting like this?
Q. I'm married. So no "you know better" talk....I already know. Here goes. I have been working with a very attractive, and up till recently, single girl. We've known each other 3 years. For the first couple of years she seemed kind of attracted to me. ...
A. 16 January 2011: Yes, it is a q & a forum and that is exactly what is happening. You should be thankful people are being so frank with you inasmuch as what your are contemplating is potentially disastrous for you and your family. Sometimes we all get a little lost ... (read in full...)
Need advice on rebuilding trust in gf who cheated on me
Q. So my gf and I have been together for 4 and a half years and we love each other very much. I had a lot of trust in her about being with her guy friends. Then one day, while she was in the bathroom, I found some pictures of her with one of her ...
A. 15 January 2011: I don't know that there's much you can do other than stay with the cheater, or leave her and find someone who is worthy. I get a kick out of how your "gf" blamed you for her atrocious behavior. And, if you really believe she did nothing with this ... (read in full...)
Why do I want to have sex 24/7?
Q. i am 46 years old not a baby by any means. but all i think about is sex nothing else matters to me but having sex. i was molested as a child several times. when i was married i cheated on my ex and now i just had sex with a married woman who is very ...
A. 15 January 2011: It sounds like sex addiction, which is complicated territory. You should seek professional help. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to just carry on and pretend that there is nothing going on?
Q. I'm 35 and friends with a 53 yr old guy who's married. We're really good friends, we completely trust and confide in each other, on the same wavelength etc. but we're strictly friends. Or were. Now I feel there's a slight tension between us. I will ...
A. 15 January 2011: Ahhh...the old "platonic relationship" dilemma. How do men and women get close without getting close? My view on the subject, having some experience in the area, is that it is nigh impossible and people get hurt when that reality comes home to ... (read in full...)
If she's engaged then why is she acting like this?
Q. I'm married. So no "you know better" talk....I already know. Here goes. I have been working with a very attractive, and up till recently, single girl. We've known each other 3 years. For the first couple of years she seemed kind of attracted to me. ...
A. 15 January 2011: You're in your 30's? Really? You sound like a 7th grader. What's the point of your post? You want to know if an engaged woman likes you? Get a grip and go home to your wife!... (read in full...)
I always said I'd leave a cheater, but now that its happening to me I'm torn!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for about two years now and we have been living together for about one year. We share a lap top and I came across her facebook page the other day where she had forgotten to log out. I have never gone through her ...
A. 15 January 2011: Dude...time to parachute out of this quickly disintegrating aeroplane. You got played for a fool, and luckily you found out about it. Some people go on for years without a clue that they are being played. It will be hard, but you will be happier in ... (read in full...)
My ex said "don't be a stranger" what does that mean?
Q. Hi My ex girlfriend ended our relationship after a couple of years - Im sure it was for someone else - sure enough a few days later she was. Since then every 3 months or so she would contact me by email and be all hi how are you - but would just ...
A. 15 January 2011: She's keeping her options open. She most likely views men as inventory. You're a part of her inventory in her eyes. And, she doesn't want her inventory to be reduced. Hence, the "keep in touch." Translation: "stay in my life ... on the ... (read in full...)
He got married! Is it wrong to still care about him?
Q. Years ago I meet this man that I was afraid to approach, over the years I never forgot him and he has never forgot me. When I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt and I always wanted him I found out he was a newlywed. But since that day ...
A. 15 January 2011: I am compelled to reply to female reader anonymous who encouraged the person seeking advice to actually ask the married guy if he will leave his wife. This is absolutely dreadful advice. By asking such a question, our inquirer will be telegraphing ... (read in full...)
How do I come out as the bigger person?
Q. ok please can i get advice on what to do. i recently found out ive been played by a guy i thought was a genuine sincere friend. I thought he cared about me as i did him but discovered recently that hes used me and hes also a liar. hes lied over pr...
A. 14 January 2011: I would just let it be. Chalk it up to experience. Don't focus on him - which is what you'd be doing if you sit around and try to figure out how to approach him. If you see him, treat him like you would any other acquaintance and don't spend time on ... (read in full...)
He got married! Is it wrong to still care about him?
Q. Years ago I meet this man that I was afraid to approach, over the years I never forgot him and he has never forgot me. When I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt and I always wanted him I found out he was a newlywed. But since that day ...
A. 14 January 2011: C'mon girl...why do women even think about doing this to each other? He's .... wait for it ... MARRIED!!!!! He's not married to a figment of his imagination. He's married to a living, breathing, heart-beating just like yours, woman. A woman who ... (read in full...)
Re all women this hard to read?
Q. I know that women have since the beginning of time been hard for men to understand but I keep having a relationship with this girl who baffles me. I wanted to ask you, Wise Agony Aunts, if this is "normal" female behavior or whether it is unusual. ...
A. 13 January 2011: She's a manipulative shrew. Sorry to be so harsh, but I call 'em as I see 'em. Stop kissing her rear end. Better yet, drop her altogether and find a friend who values you for you. Not for what you can spend on them.... (read in full...)
What is the source of a girl's attractiveness?
Q. OK, I had an interesting experience recently. There has been a girl who is stunningly beautiful and very sexy whom I have known. She is always being sought after by guys. But I got to know her with no physical contact, in a friendly way. I ...
A. 13 January 2011: Oh...I've met so many physically attractive women who...the minute they open their mouths...they turn into Shrek. Physical beauty is a fine thing, and makes you notice someone initially. But, if they have no beauty inside then the outside beauty is ... (read in full...)
Engaged, but I have always loved someone else.
Q. I am 26 and currently engaged to a very lovely woman, but before I met her I was in love with another woman. the reason why i wasn't with the other woman is because she had been through a few heartbreaking relationships and was afraid that she would ...
A. 11 January 2011: You need to man up as they say. You are being terribly unfair to your fiance by continuing to represent to her that she is your one and only. How is marrying someone you don't truly love supposed to help? Get on with the unpleasant task of breaking ... (read in full...)
Is a threesome a good idea if my boyfriend suggests it?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He has expressed how he enjoys watching me masturbate with a dildo. He has recently discussed with me how he would enjoy watching me have sex with another man. I just dont want this to ruin our ...
A. 11 January 2011: Don't do it. It hardly ever turns out well. ... (read in full...)
I have fallen out of love with my wife
Q. Hi. I really need some help.I've been married for 3 years now but have been with my wife for almost 9 years.we Were high school sweethearts not so much anymore. we have a 6 year old daughter That we had when I was 19 and a 4 month old.we fight alot ...
A. 8 January 2011: I think the questions you need to be asking yourself are:
1. Is it worth my children's long term well being and stability (as well as my own) to try and make my marriage work?
2. If I love my wife, can I work on falling back "in love" with h... (read in full...)
Separated for 12 years but not divorced -- am I being too picky?
Q. I have been talking(texting) to this guy i met online for about a month. He told me he was divorced and had 2 girls and I didn't mind at all.........I love kids and I too am divorced so.... Today I met him for the first time and during conversation ...
A. 8 January 2011: I think your instincts are on target. I would be very wary of getting too involved with someone who is not honest right off the bat, and whose domestic situation is a bit dodgy. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my husband I was involved with a woman while we were separated?
Q. I have been separated from my husband of 3 years for 4 months now. There has been a history of emotional and verbal abuse throughout the 6 years we have been together. During our last separation (about 2 years ago, for 7 months), I met a girl who ...
A. 8 January 2011: I would just leave it alone. What's to be gained by it? What happened, happened and you can't change the past. Don't beat yourself up over it, either. Some things are just best left unsaid. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to talk and text to my 1st love? I am married
Q. I am talking to my first love right now. He hours away. We talk for hours and text quite frequently...is this considered cheating in anyones eyes. I am married to a man who barely speaks to me and rarely touches me. This is filling a huge void ...
A. 8 January 2011: What you are engaged in is an emotional affair. Many consider this type affair to be more dangerous and insidious than a mere physical affair. I agree. I've been there. It's horrible. Don't continue with this. It will leave you empty inside. Work on ... (read in full...)
He took advantage of our friendship and I'm distraught
Q. please guys help im so fed up and upset and yes this is all my own fault. i thought a guy i knew was my friend. at first he was very sincere and in a bad way because his wife cheated on him. i thought he neede a friend so i took him under my wing-in ...
A. 7 January 2011: I'm sorry you're hurt. But, this is really about you and not about your cad of a friend. I mean, why would you buy his lunch for a year, or give him money? It sounds to me as if you were bribing him to hang out with you. Sort of like taking someone ... (read in full...)
Our "casual" relationship!
Q. So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...
A. 7 January 2011: People who sleep together and claim not to be in a relationship are in denial. Unless you are both robots possessing neither heart nor soul, then I hate to break it to you...but you are in a relationship --a crappy relationship -- but a relationship ... (read in full...)
I want to initiate an affair with a married friend of my wife and mine
Q. I am a married man,38. I have strong feelings for an older woman who is also married and is a friend of us. I can tell from her looks that she has the same feeling. Nothing has happened up to this moment, not a word expressed, nothing at all. Ca...
A. 5 January 2011: I don't think I've read a more selfish question on this board than this. Let's rephrase the question, shall we? "Dear Agony Aunts, how do I go about destroying my marriage and the marriage of one of my friends so that I can get of sexually." What a ... (read in full...)
Into the unknown after ending of bad relationship.
Q. Hi. I am feeling scared and alone. Basically, I have never had a relationship with a girl before this year (I am a young adult). This girl was beautiful...but was egotistical, manipulative and untrustworthy. It took me months to free myself from the...
A. 5 January 2011: You absolutely did the right thing in ending your one-way street relationship. Life is too short to spend it with toxic people. It is really the first step in a long journey to becoming comfortable in your own skin. The problem is that you (you are ... (read in full...)
Should I throw it all away and start over with something more creative or should I look for jobs that will use my legal training?
Q. This is not a relationship question, but I hope to get some opinions from you guys. I've been working as a lawyer for just over 3 years and have come to the realisation that I HATE it. I went to law school because I wanted a high paying, prestigi...
A. 4 January 2011: You're still young, so follow your heart. There's nothing worse than hitting your 50's and asking yourself "what if". So, now is the time. Stop trying to please everyone else, and start living your life on your terms. I would suggest that you ease ... (read in full...)
Married man or emotionaly unavailable?
Q. I had been seeing a man for over a year, then he broke it off stating he was not ready for a long-term commitment. After 8 months with no contact, we recently reconciled. I suspect he may be married and have tried to ask questions to determine his ...
A. 31 December 2010: Yeah...listen to your gut. Run the other way, real fast!!!... (read in full...)
Was it me? I tried my best, even though he cheated, kept a mistress who he's now married.
Q. Please Help! My ex of 4 1/2 years was cheating on me for at least 4 months. It's now been almost a year, and I think he married his mistress. After all the broken promises, the betrayal, the manipulation why does it feel like a big hole in my st...
A. 30 December 2010: I think sometimes we believe that by being what we consider very accommodating to someone, they will love us in return. It doesn't always work that way. Why would you want to be with a guy like that? In my book, you dodged a bullet not marrying this ... (read in full...)
New girlfriend flirts excessively and sits on laps
Q. So, I think my girlfriend is crossing some standard boundaries. We just started seeing each other. We are both into each other and she suggested we get into an exclusive relationship. I agreed. However, there has been 3 events that have turned me ...
A. 30 December 2010: Y'know, there are so many other cool ladies out there who are secure enough in themselves to not have to flirt with every guy that falls within their eyesight. I can tell you right now, this girl, no matter how sweet and nice she is when she's ... (read in full...)
He wants to marry me... but won't leave the wife!!!
Q. He is married, says the wife and him are having problems but he cannot leave his wife and he says he wants to marry me. he knows my family but he is too possessive. why?...
A. 29 December 2010: Don't hold your breath waiting for that ring. It ain't gonna happen. Drop this married man, and start dating available men. You will be a lot happier for it. Otherwise, you're wasting precious time on men who can't be there for you, and won't be ... (read in full...)
He wants to end our affair and be best friends. I work with him!
Q. Hi I have been in a relationship with a married co-worker for 18 months. We started off as friends and our relationship developed into love over a period of months. We have had many special times together and I love this man more than anyone I ha...
A. 29 December 2010: I feel bad for you. I know those feelings. It's very hard. You could go to his wife, but what will that accomplish besides hurt some innocent people. Both of you have children. Why hurt them unnecessarily? Don't go the friend route. That's simply ... (read in full...)
Sexual past creeping in the present...and now my retroactive jealousy is raging.
Q. I have been with my wife for 15 years. About 7 years of dating and being engaged, about 8 or so of it married. We have 2 amazing kids. I adore my wife. She's beautiful, my best friend, I love spending time with her. We started dating our Senior ...
A. 29 December 2010: You need to find out why this bothers you so much, because I can tell you that it has nothing to do with your wife and everything to do with you. I agree with dirtball, try some therapy. Don't light a match to everything you've worked for. And, ... (read in full...)
Will she always be a cheater? How spot and avoid a cheater in future?
Q. I just have a question about an ex. I met this girl through work, we flirted and it was as clear as day she was interested. But things were kind of weird, she was also flirting with two other guys at my work. I ended up leaving for a few weeks and ...
A. 29 December 2010: Some people are referred to as "attention whores" (they could be male or female). They boost their low self-esteem not from within, but by garnering attention from the opposite sex at any cost and without consideration for who they may be hurting. ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my girlfriend to have a threesome with another guy?
Q. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP My sexual fantasy is to have a threesome with a hot guy and my girlfriend, but I am too shy to tell her, she is very religious... but it turns me on the idea of she being with another man...
A. 29 December 2010: Very risky for the relationship. Proceed with caution if you really care about this girl.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a " special" friend while in a relationship?
Q. I am involved with someone and so is this man that I am asking about. We met thru work 2 years ago. He has reached out several times to me thru calls and text which I thought was strange as we are both in long term relationships. Our communication ...
A. 28 December 2010: What is happening here is that your "friend" is too lazy to fix whatever void exists in his real-life relationship, and so he is using you as a fix and you are doing the same thing with him. It's an emotional affair. These type connections are not ... (read in full...)
Can someone tell me what is wrong with me?
Q. Okay, so I have massive boobs, sized 34F, and I have had a few boyfriends, I've been felt up many times, I enjoy it, I do get slot of attention off boys for my boobs, and I do wear low cut tops, but I've been single for months now, and every so ...
A. 28 December 2010: Nothing's going on. You're just horny is all. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to avoid your ex?
Q. Is it wrong to avoid social situations where you ex, and her bf will be at the expense of your own happiness?...
A. 28 December 2010: Not at all. This is part of the distancing that must occur in order for you to be able to move on fully. No one need know why, as it is none of their business. ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if he's separated but waiting for divorce finalisation?
Q. I have been seeing a man who is going through a divorce and has been separated from his wife for several months. The only reason his divorce is taking so long is because of financial issues. We have a pretty healthy relationship so far. He is so ...
A. 27 December 2010: As to your first question, yes. He's not divorced yet. Believe it or not, people do reconcile. I would slow it down and see how things develop. Can you imagine the devastation in your own life emotionally if you get wrapped up in this guy, and he ... (read in full...)
Hooked on these great feelings of desire.
Q. I am a married woman having a emotional affair with a single man 8 years younger than me. I met him on a social network. I told him in the beginning I was not leaving my husband cause he loves me. However, I have grown to really like him and think ...
A. 27 December 2010: This guy is a complete fantasy in your head. You haven't even met him yet. You're married. How great of a guy is he if he's willing to cheat with you? Do ya think after you lay waste to your marriage and are pushing 60 that Mr. Lookinaround For Some ... (read in full...)
Why is my married colleague acting so weird?
Q. I’m confused. I am a single woman in her 30’s who has not been a relationship now for a year. A few weeks ago started a new job whereby I share an office with three other colleagues, 2 of whom are married men and one of which I find attractive but ...
A. 27 December 2010: Do you want to keep your job? Then drop this budding fantasy with Married Andrew. You're single, apparently attractive. Don't go picking inventory off of other women's plates. Get your own available man. Whatever happened to the "sisterhood"? Yes, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend HATES affection.Should I seriously reconsider this relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years....he hates affection. I on the other hand am very, very affectionate. We are both in our early 30's and there have been talks about getting married in the future but I'm not sure that I can marry ...
A. 26 December 2010: Affection is a part of any healthy relationship. It sounds as if the two of you are incompatible ... at least in that department (which is a pretty big department!). Imagine marrying this guy and having to beg for crumbs of affection the rest of ... (read in full...)
First Christmas without my ex here and I am about to lose it.. how can I stop this depression?
Q. It's my first Christmas since my boyfriend and I broke up and I am just about to lose it. This has been the worst break-up I have ever had. I have lost myself and feel like I have nothing left and all these holidays are making it so much worse... ...
A. 24 December 2010: I'm sorry for your troubles. The holidays can be brutal for people. The first thing you need to realize is that you are not a bad person because this happened. Breakups occur everyday. Everyone of us who has lived has gone through tremendous ... (read in full...)
I am sleeping with my husband's best friend
Q. I am sleeping with my husband's best friend. It started a year and a half ago. Every time we spend together is just amazing. He says all the right things and makes love to me in ways I cannot describe. Trouble is, I love my husband very muc...
A. 24 December 2010: You are a mess. Let me get this straight...you're married, but cheating on your husband with his best friend who's cheating on his girlfriend with you. I feel sorry for your husband. And you want advice from the Aunts as to how you can keep your ... (read in full...)
What do people think about blocking your ex after you broke up and the no contact rule?
Q. Hi , I recently broke up with my BF and loved him very much, but he was controlling, and I was very unhappy, and had no choice but to cut all contact.( this was nearly two weeks ago) Anyway, I have blocked him from Yahoo MSN, and blocked his emails ...
A. 23 December 2010: You have to keep one thing in mind when doing the NC...whatever your ex is thinking, doing, pondering, thinking of doing, hoping for, praying for, etc. DOESN'T MATTER. His saying "sorry", doesn't matter. He's screwed you over enough times that ... (read in full...)
Gave an ultimatum and he counter offered?
Q. I told my husband that I do not like that he text other girls and flirts with them thru texting. He claims that he understands and that the flirting is wrong and will no longer do that. However he is not going to stop texting them and he deletes ...
A. 14 December 2010: Red flag on the field! Why is he texting other women?? That's just a problem in the making. No, you are not wrong. In my opinion this idea of male/female platonic relationships is mostly used as a cover for people who have the hots for their ... (read in full...)
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