Is this an emotional affair?
Q. I need some advise desperately. I have been with my wife for almost 24 years and married 18. We've got 2 beautiful kids(6 and 11)We've had a good marriage for the vast majority of the time with some ups and downs. I lost my job recently and we ...
A. 8 March 2011: Most definitely, your wife is involved in an emotional affair. She has to want to end it with this other guy. If she doesn't want to do that, then you need to prepare to move on. Your wife is making a massive mistake. Hopefully she wakes up before ... (read in full...)
Fishing with my married friend?? Is it okay?
Q. I'm a divorced female 30yrs old and am friends with a guy 31yrs old at work who is unhappily married and has 2 small children whom are his world. We get along great and joke around all the time and even text each other on the weekends comparing what ...
A. 8 March 2011: Yeah, you're gonna catch something all right ... nothing but trouble doing this sort of thing. Look, he should get his deal with his wife straightened out first before he starts canoodling with you. What happens if you really get in deep with this ... (read in full...)
I'm not a virgin, but I've decided not to have sex again til marriage. This seems to drive men off! Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My problem seems kind of funny, so laugh if you want, but I'm getting a bit frustrated. Although I didn't grow up religious, I'd had a rough time in life and turned to the church. This was a few years ago and I'm now a devout Christian, and have ...
A. 6 March 2011: You're not being unreasonable. You're being true to yourself. There are men out there who admire that and who would love to date a woman with those values. The trick for you is finding men who have similar values. They're out there. You just have to ... (read in full...)
I am developing feelings for a man that I know I can never be with. What should I do?
Q. Hello I hope you will respond. I have a friend, he is 4 years older than myself and we have been friends for four years. However, we are not friends in the normal sense. We have never hung out, gone for coffee, a drink etc. He is a player, he lik...
A. 6 March 2011: Let me make sure I have this straight. You have this friend, but he's not really your friend (in the "normal" sense). And, he's a player who sleeps around who is "forthcoming" and crude. Sounds like a real catch to me. Why do women waste time on men ... (read in full...)
Marriage, security, trust, boredom vs. Lust, freedom, excitement?
Q. I Have been in a relationship for 5 years. We are total opposites. I am outgoing social butterfly he is a hermit. I love being the center of attention, talk non stop and love to laugh. He hates crowds, very quiet, and has few friends. Before him, I ...
A. 5 March 2011: KCO -- married almost 30 years. Sparks are still there. But...ups and downs and a lot of work -- like anything else that spans a lifetime. Maybe you should sit down with your fiance and have a heart-to-heart with him. No, relationships should not be ... (read in full...)
Marriage, security, trust, boredom vs. Lust, freedom, excitement?
Q. I Have been in a relationship for 5 years. We are total opposites. I am outgoing social butterfly he is a hermit. I love being the center of attention, talk non stop and love to laugh. He hates crowds, very quiet, and has few friends. Before him, I ...
A. 4 March 2011: It sounds as if you are in love with being in love. That's a problem for anyone considering a monogamous marriage (as ironic as that sounds). That may explain your difficulty picking guys. Not sure what you should do. I know what you shouldn't do -- ... (read in full...)
My FWB was hitting on my friend even though she has a boyfriend!
Q. I've been with my fwb for more than two years. Recently we had our first time hanging out in public. We had been in this type of relationship as a secret so finally we were introduced. He had a little smirk going on and so did I but no one saw. W...
A. 28 February 2011: Whoa...wait a minute. I thought fwb meant no ties. That is, the two people involved in such a ridiculously stupid arrangement could bang anyone they want, including each other because, after all, they're just friends (with benefits). So, how is it ... (read in full...)
I love her but her last lie may cost me my life. What should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, This is my first time writing, I'd really like some good advice with the situation I am in involving myself and my ex girlfriend/girlfriend - this I will explain below. There is so much to consider it will be difficult for me to ex...
A. 28 February 2011: To answer your question: Yes, this is a huge deal. It sounds to me as if you are going to get stampeded in your quest to save this woman who has basically revealed to you that she is untrustworthy, selfish, disloyal, and who derives her self-esteem ... (read in full...)
A question mark text...
Q. Call me naive but, I'm a little confused as to what my ex is trying to say in a text message he recently sent to me. I have not spoken to my ex in 9 months. Since he left me and became involved with someone else. It was my idea to sever all ties ...
A. 27 February 2011: Might I ask why this matters to you? You had the right idea to sever all ties in order to help you get over the pain he caused you. So...you need to stick with that. Do yourself a favor -- don't sit around wondering what some cryptic post means from ... (read in full...)
Am I puritan for staying a virgin at 18?
Q. I am an 18 year old girl who is a virgin. All of my friends have had sexual relations prior to turning 18. They say I am a puritan and should be having sex at my age. I think I am right in that I want to wait until I am married. Am I wrong ?...
A. 27 February 2011: You are not wrong nor a Puritan nor are you "prudish" as someone on here suggested. You're an aware young woman. If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you feel you too had to jump off a bridge with them? Of course not. If your friends ... (read in full...)
How do I show this married lady that I am interested in her?
Q. My neighbour lady(36) is my relative and has 2 childrens. Her husband is abroad. She has some problems with her husband. She shares every matters with me and warned me to don't tell anyone. Every times she will show her cleavage to me by ...
A. 27 February 2011: She may be flirting with you, but you are flirting with disaster. If you don't want this to someday come down on your horny little head like a sledgehammer, drop this infatuation and turn your gaze toward single girls who aren't related to you.... (read in full...)
He has a fiance, 4 kids and wants to sleep with me. Is it wrong?
Q. I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't ...
A. 26 February 2011: I'm sorry, but you're in your 30's and you still don't know if it is wrong to sleep with a guy who is engaged to someone else and with whom he has 4 children? Really? You don't know if that's wrong or right? Ok, so be it. Yes, it's very wrong to do ... (read in full...)
I only attract men that are taken!
Q. I only seem to attract men who are already taken. I've been single for the last three years and I just attract one man after the other who already has a girlfriend. Any ideas why this is the case?...
A. 26 February 2011: You may be afraid of commitment, or getting involved in a real relationship, hence the attracting unavailable men.... (read in full...)
Does my best friend still care, or am I now a nothing to her?
Q. A friend of mine that i have known for some time now, around 2 years i consider to be one of, if not my best friend has suddenly become weird on me. We used to talk all of the time, about everything and anything, if any of us had a problem,...
A. 26 February 2011: I'm sorry, but I'll bet you a thousand bucks it has everything to do with marriage (unless you're not telling us everything). Look, the concept is the same. You are unavailable. She knows that. She too is unavailable. So, she's not going to continue ... (read in full...)
I caught my fiance sexting his ex!
Q. I need help. i have no one to talk to. my fiancée texted his ex girlfriend, that cheated on him, saying he want to squirt a load in her. this is the second time i caught him saying sexual things to her. the texts where a year apart. he said that i ...
A. 26 February 2011: He deserved a frying pan over the head, in my opinion. The problem with "working it out" with someone like this is that you can't "work out" someone's character. They are who they are. You have to decide whether you want to deal with this on an ... (read in full...)
I caught my fiance sexting his ex!
Q. I need help. i have no one to talk to. my fiancée texted his ex girlfriend, that cheated on him, saying he want to squirt a load in her. this is the second time i caught him saying sexual things to her. the texts where a year apart. he said that i ...
A. 26 February 2011: Yeesh! Sorry, but this guy does not sound like marriage material to me. You're right to question your whole relationship. If I were you, I'd end it. Look at it as dodging a bullet. You don't want to have to deal with this crap in your life. Good ... (read in full...)
Is a threesome a normal fantasy for a married man?
Q. This isn't anything new, but I was wondering if it's "normal" to want to watch your wife have sex with another man? ...
A. 26 February 2011: I think it's probably a "normal" fantasy (whatever normal is these days). Beyond that, (i.e. actually pursuing such a thing) portends something amiss in the relationship, in my opinion. Actually allowing it portends the end of most marriages (again, ... (read in full...)
Does my best friend still care, or am I now a nothing to her?
Q. A friend of mine that i have known for some time now, around 2 years i consider to be one of, if not my best friend has suddenly become weird on me. We used to talk all of the time, about everything and anything, if any of us had a problem,...
A. 26 February 2011: You're married, yet you talk about your friend as if she is your wife. You sound completely confused. Why do you think this other woman should invest time and energy into a relationship with a married man? You really don't have standing to insist ... (read in full...)
Can a married man and a married woman be just friends?
Q. Can anyone tell me why a guy would start to distance himself from a woman? We were friends for about a year but there has been some chemistry between us. Suddenly he is not talking to me anymore and avoiding me at all the places we would see each ...
A. 26 February 2011: Boy, this has been a recurring theme this week. Personally, I think it's a bad idea for individuals who are married or in committed relationships to become close friends with members of the opposite sex. What usually happens (and it's a natural ... (read in full...)
We broke up and now have a FWB relationship. I don't get much sex, and I feel used! Should I end it?
Q. So my girlfriend and I broke up a few months back, but kept a FWB relationship till one of us meet someone else. The only problem is that we actually have only had sex once or twice, yet every night she comes to my room, eats my food, watches my ...
A. 25 February 2011: I just don't understand the FWB thing. I hate the term. I think it is the dumbest thing anyone can do -- guy or girl. It's basically two people signing up to be used by the other. It's just incredibly moronic, in my opinion, and I think those who ... (read in full...)
Have I pushed her into this other guy's arms by refusing to be friends with her after the break up?
Q. My girlfriend of two years recently separated after living together for 5 months. She immediately began dating a coworker that she had been spending a lot of time with. It's now been two months and they are still together. She tells me she still lo...
A. 25 February 2011: The "she tells me she loves me and thinks about our history" line she's feeding you is designed to keep you on the periphery just in case her current relationship with her co-worker falls apart. Is that what you want to be -- some girl's emotional ... (read in full...)
How do I let go of the married man I care about?
Q. How do I let go of someone I really care about? We never had an affair but we had feelings for each other. He is married and so am I but it will never be....
A. 25 February 2011: These types of situations are always difficult. You apparently recognize the threat the friendship poses to your marriage. These "friendships" can sneak up on you and before you know it you're in deep emotionally. It can impact every aspect of your ... (read in full...)
3 months ago I hadn’t looked at another women in 14 years, now all of a sudden we are planning on leaving our respective partners for each other!
Q. Hi, so this is my story…been married 14 years, have two boys aged 12 and a daughter from wife’s previous relationship aged 20. I thought everything was fine and loved my wife until a couple of months ago, and I am now so confused. I met a girl 2 y...
A. 24 February 2011: I think you're making a massive mistake, the consequences of which you will suffer from for the remainder of your life if you don't get it together and fast.
You have a woman at home who loves you and is the mother of your two boys. She apparent... (read in full...)
Could it really happen that I might not know about a baby resulting from a one-night stand?
Q. Over a year and I half ago I had my only one night stand of my life. There was alot to drink, sex with and without a condom, although I never "finished" inside her. I woke up the next morning and felt sick to my stomach with disgust. This was ...
A. 24 February 2011: I think it was Mark Twain who once said, "I've lived through some pretty terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Stop worrying so much. ... (read in full...)
We're toxic in a relationship because of the stuff going on around us. Is it possible to remain friends?
Q. I started seeing a man a year and a half ago. He was separated but not yet divorced. It was and still is a messy custody battle, and his ex has been diagnosed with personality disorders. This man's life is not stable at all. We have broken up a...
A. 24 February 2011: It's very hard to be "friends" with someone you have strong feelings for. So, for the two of you it's probably all or nothing. Both of you seem to be "afraid" to be together -- that's what's making your relationship "toxic." Is counseling something ... (read in full...)
How can I regain self confidence so she'll be excited by me like she used to be?
Q. My wife and I have been having issues in the bedroom, she's "not sexually excited" by me anymore. We discussed the idea of sleeping with other people on a trial basis to see if we liked it. We both love and trust each other very much and so we ...
A. 24 February 2011: I don't know how you're supposed to regain your confidence while your wife is off sleeping with other men. She has taken a blowtorch to your marriage. I can't imagine how the marriage can withstand such destructive behavior. I would run -- not walk ... (read in full...)
She tells me she loves me, but she hasn't stopped hanging out with this other man! Should I move on?
Q. Dear Cupid, After three years of being with my girlfriend, things have somewhat fallen apart. Throughout our relationship we have faced challenges, most of them from her children going through that 'rebellious' stage and causing us both a lot of...
A. 23 February 2011: I wouldn't chase after her. It sounds to me as if she wants to keep you on a string while she explores possibilities with this other guy. Screw that. I'm sure you treated her well. Some women (and men) really don't care about that. It's more "what ... (read in full...)
Why is my married lover cooling off?
Q. i have had this "friends with benefits" for 4years now but he has been moving the relationship forward on an honest level the last year and a half too top that off i was pregnant 3 times the last pregnancy he seemed upset i didnt go through with the ...
A. 23 February 2011: How does one move adultery forward on an "honest level"? "He doesn't seem like a con" Keep dreaming. Your friends may not want you to "row into a disaster", but that's exactly what they have been counseling you to do. The guy is MARRIED. MM are ... (read in full...)
Is is ok for a married woman to have a platonic relationship with a man?
Q. i am happily married woman and would like to know if wanting a platonic friendship with a male friend ive known for 27 years is ok?...
A. 23 February 2011: If you've known him for 27 years, aren't you already platonic friends? I'm one of those who doesn't really believe in "platonic" friendships between men and women when one or both are in a committed relationship. It's just too tricky to ... (read in full...)
Fear Is The Father of all Misery
Q. Please turn your mobile phone off, take the house phone off the hook and make yourself something delicious to drink. Lock the front door, sit down somewhere comfortable and listen carefully to what I have to say to you. I am, after all, a sha...
A. 23 February 2011: What a great article! Thanks.... (read in full...)
I am gutted. Is he fobbing me off, for doubting him? Or is he angry with me? Or is it over
Q. Been going out with my fella for 6 months now and we just had our first fall out - need to say sorry which i have done several times - don't know what else to do he sent me a today to say he can't come sunday - was gutted as i only see him once a we...
A. 23 February 2011: There's not much you can do, but give him the space he's asked you to give him. These things happen. Be thankful it was only a 6 month investment, and not 6 years. ... (read in full...)
The myth of "best friends" of the opposite sex
Q. OK, I know I am going to get a lot of flack for this (assuming anyone read this) but from my experience and observation I believe that a heterosexual man and woman who claim to be "best friends" without any romantic feelings...is a myth. Almost al...
A. 22 February 2011: Absolutely agree. Apart from the rare exceptions, so many guys (and girls) torture themselves hanging around their "friend" only to watch their friend date other people, fall in love with other people, etc. I say, if you want a friend...get a dog. ... (read in full...)
Am I separating love and sex? Or just being slutty?
Q. Hi there! Been with my boy for a long time: he'll soon move in with me and we'll get married in a few years. Love him with all my heart and I feel my future is with him. Still, I've recently started an affair with a super seductive and sexy man...
A. 22 February 2011: I think you are being selfish and incredibly unfair to your bf. I say this because he apparently is in the dark about what you are doing. He would probably have a completely different view about how all of this impacts him, including your ... (read in full...)
A friend a mine has given me a second ultimatum! I feel she is crossing the line. What do you think?
Q. Okay, I'm embarrassed to even be posting this. It's sad that middle age people have to even indulge in the following behavior. Let me explain: I have a friend who we will call Sue. Sue and I have been friends for over 2 years. We met online and h...
A. 22 February 2011: Your friend sounds like a control freak. No real friend would impose such ultimatums on you. Sue is trying to tell you who she really is. I would listen to her.... (read in full...)
Should I date a superficial woman who treated me like dirt?
Q. Hi, I'll get right to the point. I was for many years in love with a lady from my school. I told her i loved her many times but she thought of me as a geek and always dated the most popular guy in college, she took my love for granted. Well, 5 yrs ...
A. 20 February 2011: In a word, NO!... (read in full...)
My husband has been leading a double life, he promised he would go to counseling but is it just another lie?
Q. I recently found out my husband has been leading a double life. We have been together for 7 years. Married just 2 1/2 months. He has had a girlfriend for the past 3 1/2 years. He was a co-worker with her. She did know about me, but he said I had ...
A. 20 February 2011: Oh boy. I'm sorry, but I think if you stay with this guy you are going to get played over and over. I would get out now, get your head straight, and then maybe someday you will find someone who is worthy of your love. Good luck.... (read in full...)
She's decided she's not attracted any more and wants to be friends
Q. Hello all, So my girlfriend of 2 years decided that she isn't attracted to me anymore and just wants to be friends, but she says she still loves me. She says that she doesn't want to work on things because she feels burnt out. We have had our ...
A. 20 February 2011: I hate to break this to you, but when a girl tells you she wants to be "friends" it means she is not interested in you romantically. That was her way of breaking up with you. The confusion that you are experiencing stems from the fact that you are ... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend want a baby together, how do I tell my parents??
Q. I want a baby and so does my boyfriend but I'm only 15 this year and I'm worried about telling my parents. I reallly know I'm to young but I love kids so much and just want one to have 4 myself. I am a babysitter so I'm forever looking after kids ...
A. 19 February 2011: You really should wait on that. Children are life altering responsibilities. You can't just pick up and decide you want to be a kid again, once you have children. Your life will be literally consumed once you have a child. You will not be able to ... (read in full...)
Speak up or stay quiet about this man's cheating ways
Q. I don't want criticism because I feel bad enough for what I've done. Just a simple question. If you were almost at the point of having an affair with a married man because he seemed just wonderful and made you feel wonderful too but then mutually ...
A. 19 February 2011: You should thank the woman at your company. This guy is now her problem, not yours. Learn from this. It is always...always...a losing game to get involved with a MM. You will always end up getting screwed on so many levels doing that sort of thing. ... (read in full...)
I am gutted. Is he fobbing me off, for doubting him? Or is he angry with me? Or is it over
Q. Been going out with my fella for 6 months now and we just had our first fall out - need to say sorry which i have done several times - don't know what else to do he sent me a today to say he can't come sunday - was gutted as i only see him once a we...
A. 19 February 2011: Let it sit for a few days and see what happens. Don't worry too much about it. People in relationships have disagreements every now and then. If they didn't, it wouldn't be much of a relationship. It's never as heavy as you think it is. Give your ... (read in full...)
Is it weird for a male teacher to call you hunny?
Q. Is it weird for a male teacher whos like 30 to call a 14 female hunny? Cause today in class i went up to him privately and asked him if i could redo a quiz and he was like whats that hunny? and he kinda tends to flirt sometimes... but i dont know if ...
A. 19 February 2011: It's weird only if it keeps on happening. He's supposed to be your teacher. Your not his pet, and you are certainly not his "hunny". Call him on it next time. Tell him, my name is "________". If it doesn't stop, go to the principal.... (read in full...)
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