A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been having issues in the bedroom, she's "not sexually excited" by me anymore. We discussed the idea of sleeping with other people on a trial basis to see if we liked it. We both love and trust each other very much and so we decided to do it. That was three of four months ago now and my wife has slept with someone else several times now. I'm experiencing a lot of jealousy and insecurity because of it. I don't know if it's because I haven't had sex with another woman yet or if I haven't had sex with another woman yet because I love my wife and I don't want her to feel the way I do. What should I do? How can I regain self confidence so she'll be excited by me like she used to be?
View related questions:
confidence, jealous, sex with another Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (24 February 2011):
I don't know how you're supposed to regain your confidence while your wife is off sleeping with other men. She has taken a blowtorch to your marriage. I can't imagine how the marriage can withstand such destructive behavior. I would run -- not walk -- to the nearest good divorce attorney. Good luck.
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (23 February 2011):
 "That was three of four months ago now and my wife has slept with someone else several times now." What was your thought process when the two of you decided sex with other people would help your marriage?
"We both love and trust each other" How do the two of you define "love"?
"I'm experiencing a lot of jealousy and insecurity because of it." Do these feelings surprise you? How did you think this scenario would play out?
"What should I do?" For starters I would have your wife go and be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Maybe she was not "careful" once and once is all it takes. Maybe she has been with more than just this one other person. Next, either go to a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer. I wish you well.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 February 2011):
This marriage has been blasted apart. When you have a problem, the last thing on earth you should do is start sleeping with other people. Now she's done it, and may not want to stop. And it's clearly had a major effect on you.
The fact that she was willing to sleep with someone else several times rather than work the marriage out is the most damning sign of all. If you are serious about making this work, you need to tell her to stop NOW, and get to counselling with you. Or it'll just be the divorce papers and that will be it.
If she stops and comes to counselling, then maybe it can be worked out. If she doesn't, then you've already lost her.
...............................
|
