A
male
age
36-40,
*erenity22
writes:Hello all, So my girlfriend of 2 years decided that she isn't attracted to me anymore and just wants to be friends, but she says she still loves me. She says that she doesn't want to work on things because she feels burnt out. We have had our squabbles in the past but worked through them. Recently she has had a lot going on in her family life and I can't help but think it is a major factor in all of this. There were no arguments or disagreements for over 2 months and everything I thought was going fine. I even bought an engagement ring and had an elaborate setup all planned. However, two weeks ago we got into a really silly fight and didn't really talk much for about 4 days, she says this was time to think about things and she decided we should just be friends. What recourse do I have? I am very much in love with this girl. We go to school together and I notice she still looks into my eyes for long periods of time when we talk, I catch her looking at me when she thinks I'm not looking and I get little smiles from her. Yet she will act very cold, not answer calls and acts like she wants nothing to do with me, say she doesn't want to be with me and there's no chance when we are out of school. What do you guys recommend? It seems like she still loves me and there are hints that she still is in love with me and cares for me deeply. She comments on the way I am dressing and how I look, but it's very hard to read and it's quite confusing. please help!
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male
reader, epicureansage  +, writes (20 February 2011):
She dumped you. Probably has someone else already in mind. At least she broke up with you first (we can hope.) But yeah, you and her are through. Btw be VERY leary of the sticking around as a "friend" nonsense. That is usually what I call "keeping a man on ice" - a lot of women seem to do this unconsciously...they'll keep some last ditch "safe options" around should their love lives go sour. Best you find someone who wants you.
A
male
reader, shoccs  +, writes (20 February 2011):
Look man straight up tell her thanks but no thanks, find your self another woman she wants to keep you as a friend? Dude thats what your male friends are for. Tell her respectively no friendo el amigo sarcasim laugh haha. Plenty girls out there its hard but trust me, you will find some better
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (20 February 2011):
I hate to break this to you, but when a girl tells you she wants to be "friends" it means she is not interested in you romantically. That was her way of breaking up with you. The confusion that you are experiencing stems from the fact that you are still crazy about her and, as a result, reading the signs all wrong. If the girl was interested in you romantically, you'd know it without having to guess. She may very well care for you ...but as a friend cares for a friend. You obviously want something more from her which she is unwililng to give. It's very hard to be in the spot you're in. I would suggest that you take her cue (not answering calls etc) and get some distance between the two of you so as to reduce those romantic feelings. Start thinking about dating other women because she will soon start dating other men. Don't jump into anything just yet, though, as you're going to need some time to get your head straight and heal emotionally. Good luck.
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