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*Talbott agony aunt

*Talbott

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*Talbott's profile:

I'm a 41 year old sapiosexual male living in Washington, DC fascinated by the forces of survival and sexual selection that drive human behavior.

My day job involves developing election systems for countries in Latin America while being an agony aunt fulfills my need to solve all the world's problems one keyboard click at a time.

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< Prev123Next > [3 pages, 63 answers]

What are the pro's and con's of swinging??

Q.   What are the pro's and con's of swinging??...

A.   26 May 2008: Pros: If you do it at a public party and involve your partner, it can be a lot of fun and give you a lot of experiences to share. Cons: In an instant, it can jealousies that can last a very long time. More importantly, it consumes a lot of time ... (read in full...)

When I am naked he doesn't get an erection...is this normal?

Q.   What does it mean when you can be entirely naked in the shower, with your boyfriend talking to you (sat on the toilet) and he doesn't get an erection... Any ideas? Does it mean he doesn't find you arousing? Does it mean he could be gay? Does it ...

A.   26 May 2008: Very normal, especially as a guy gets older. ... (read in full...)

Ive been raped before and sex with my partner is always painful, anything I can do to make easier ?

Q.   i never get ready to accpet my boyfriend when having sex and I am always very dry what can i do. I was raped the first time and ever since then i cant make love without any pain. Are there any drugs that would work ?...

A.   26 May 2008: Your experience is a common reaction to sexual trauma. In a very unfair way, your initial traumatic experience is creating secondary traumatic experiences. Talking with someone experienced with sexual trauma or meeting with a support group of... (read in full...)

Being Raped hasn't ruined or changed my life...i kinda enjoyed it...Whats wrong with me?Am i a freak?

Q.   Hi,im Naoko im 20 years old and when i was 19 i was raped... I just wanna know if im a freak Being Raped hasn't ruined or changed my life...i kinda enjoyed it...Whats wrong with me?Am i a freak?...

A.   26 May 2008: You're not alone, many people experience confusion and mixed feelings from rape other social disapproved sexual experiences such as molestation. Pleasant or not, it was a traumatic event. If you don't deal with it, you may find yourself reenacti... (read in full...)

He accuses me of flaunting myself...what can I do??

Q.   I have a boyfriend. He loves me and i love him. Sometimes :O). Most of the time he is nice and easy to get along with, but, there are two things in our life that upset him deeply to the point where he shuts me out and doesn't speak to me for days on ...

A.   26 May 2008: Controlling behavior is a pattern that usually has repetitive cycles of control and contrition that last a lifetime. No matter what your behavior, a controlling person will find ways to put you down and control. Talking to someone with a p... (read in full...)

Is my mother in law coming on to me? I'm her daughter in law!!!! Helppp!!!!!

Q.   New developments into my problem/dilemma with my mother in law(she is 68, I am 57) so I copied my previous post for reference. I am even more confused now as she did something. Anyway, she calls on Sunday and tells me that she wants us to go for a ...

A.   26 May 2008: G'grief another fantasy fake post.... (read in full...)

Should I have let my older boyfriend fondle me? It made me unconfortable, but was I just being childish?

Q.   I'm a female. I have a boyfriend called Ricky (not real name)he is 24 and i am 16 (i know big age gap but he and i get along really good). We ain't made out yet but he wants to. I went to rick's house when his parents were out somewhere and we did...

A.   26 May 2008: You just ran into the difference in healthy sexual differences between sixteen and twenty-four. Yes, dating someone in your age group is more difficult and awkward at times, but it's a much healthier place to be. Yes, older guys are more per... (read in full...)

What's a husband supposed to do?!! My wife is dressing very sexy- can I get her to practice more discretion?

Q.   My 38-year-old wife is beautiful woman, and is a devoted wife and mother. We've been very happily married for nine months, and our love life is great. This is our second marriages. My wife's first marriage was sexually unfulfilling and her ex was ...

A.   26 May 2008: Assuming this isn't a fake post; your wife is very likely acting out shock waves from childhood trauma. Unfortunatly, as her significant other, you are too close to the role of person that caused her trauma to help her sort through her issues. ... (read in full...)

I fantasize about having sex with my mother

Q.   I have asked this question before but am still curious as what to do. I am now 17, my mum is 43. 6 years ago, i was living with my mum, i was in the need of the drink, so went into the kitchen to get one, only my mum was in the way on the worktop ...

A.   24 May 2008: Even though you may not see it that way, what you saw was traumatic to you. Your fantasy is a way of self-regulating that trauma. Talking with a therapist may help you gain some perspective and keep you from developing an acting out pattern ... (read in full...)

My teacher found out I like him,

Q.   hey this is like my personal story i would like to share you. See i'm 17 and have feelings towards my 10th grade history teacher. Last year were pretty close we would talk about teacher student stuff you know the typical, and no lie, i couldn't con...

A.   24 May 2008: A crush on a teacher is a common thing, I had a painful one on my seventh grade teacher. As you're finding out, the challenge is that your teacher is in a very different place in life that you are. But you have a choice about what want in life.... (read in full...)

Is his refusal to talk about things a form of abuse?

Q.   I am a divorced single mom with 2 boys and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He physically abused me on a couple of occasions several months into our relationship. The second time it happened I called the police. He was arrested ...

A.   24 May 2008: As you are aware, a controlling person doesn't need physical violence to control. Emotional withdrawal is devastating to you. Consciously or unconsciously he knows this and uses it as a weapon against you. One choice you can make is to choose t... (read in full...)

I was suggested a threesome with my mother and her lover, when this woman found out I was bisexual!

Q.   Hiya all so iam 18 years old and i realy badly need HELP!! when i was 11 my mum left my dad for a women at her gym. I live with my dad and he realy hates the both of them so i now live with my mum and her lover. we talk about...

A.   24 May 2008: Sounds like a fake question. ... (read in full...)

Can I ask my sister if I can kiss her? Any advice?

Q.   Hi, I am 5 years younger than my sister. I find her attractive. i have never kissed or anything with anyone. Can i ask her to kiss me? If so how far can this go?...

A.   24 May 2008: Remember she will be your sister for the rest of your life. Your interest in her has to do with that fact that she's close by, and isn't as threatening as kissing a girl at school that. Learning how to reach out to the opposite sex is tough, i... (read in full...)

My son has been behaving sexually towards his sister, how do I handle it?

Q.   Hi All, can someone please give me advice on the following: My 12 year daughter had left a note in her bedroom, which I found when I was cleaning her room, it said, Dear Mom, I think i'm pregrant with B...'s baby love S... This I asked her ...

A.   24 May 2008: Please get help for your children from a professional therapist with experience in sexual issues. It isn't highly unusual for young males to act out with their siblings, as adolescents they sometimes lack an ability to fully comprehend the long... (read in full...)

Why do I feel red and sore after I have sex?

Q.   After my boyfriend and I have sex I notice that my vagina hurts. It seems more to do with if he cums inside of me. For days after, I'm very sore and it feels red and hot. Does anyones else know what I'm talking about. I never have this problem ...

A.   24 May 2008: Yes, it could be an STD, but that's unlikely since you've been together for a long time and you aren't complaining about a constant pain. Sometimes semen just causes irritation in a woman's vagina. Same thing with saliva. It just depends on the p... (read in full...)

I'm 8 months pregnant and 16 yrs old, but I want to have a singing career, any advice?

Q.   I have a problem, i wonder if any of you can help. Im 16 years old almost 17 and (foolishly!) im 8 months pregnant. However ive just noticed that i have a real talent for singing and i would love to pursue this career. i dont want to be tied d...

A.   24 May 2008: Although it is too late for you; Adoption is a decision that demonstrates incredible maturity on the part of a mother giving up a child to a stable couple who are ready to be parents. I deeply admire both a mother with the maturity to real... (read in full...)

Questions about 'massages'..

Q.   What advice would you have for massaging? Can the receiver be clothed? How should the one giving the massage be dressed? Can clothing be removed as part of the massage? If so, how? Where on the body should be touched by the giver? Are there ...

A.   24 May 2008: There is massage and then there is foreplay. Each are fun, one is relaxing and the other is stimulating. I love them both! However, it's best for me if I'm clear about what is the purpose of the massage. It is difficult to relax and enjoy ... (read in full...)

I'm undecided - should I give in to my brother's urges and have sex with him?

Q.   My brother trying to seduce me. He's been trying for a long time, from time to time he was making a move on me, but now I think he's serious. When we were in early teens (13-15) we already had a kind of sexual relationship with him - we've been tou...

A.   24 May 2008: Lovers come and go in life. Breaking causes a huge range of feelings and many times the healthiest way to deal with those feelings is to never see an ex again. Further sexualizing your relationship with your brother may destroy it in the long... (read in full...)

I get turned on my female sex... is there something wrong with me?

Q.   i get easily turned on by watching 2 girls have sex. but i'm not a lesbian!!! is there something wrong with me or is this normal?...

A.   23 May 2008: You're perfectly normal, we're all turned on by many different things, and that's OK. However, you might want to consider the impact of your choices on your mind's development. Sex is a strong reward the physically alters neuron pathways in your ... (read in full...)

I'm flirting with disaster. How do I deal with it?

Q.   Hi, I have had a crush on a man who is off limits for about 2 1/2 years. I'm in a relationship thats been going on for almost 10 years and I have never had a crush like this. This guy is in our group of friends and a good friend of my boyfrien...

A.   23 May 2008: Welcome to life! Just because you're a married woman doesn't mean you don't experience crushes on other men. It's normal. Since you want to preserve the relationship with your significant other, don't engage in behaviors that give the crush en... (read in full...)

I'm married, but I'm sleeping w/ others! I feel so guilty but can't stop. What do I do??

Q.   I am married to a fabulous woman but i am sleeping with a woman at work.I also have a lover off the internet and i have another lover who lives close by. I also have a fuck buddy lady who goes to swingers partys with me i sound like a rite scum...

A.   23 May 2008: You sexual behavior sounds compulsive. Engaging in it has physically changed the way your brain funcions. Check out sexual addicts anonymous or sexaholics anonymous for behavioral change also, you might look into a mood stabilizer or anti-depressant ... (read in full...)

I want to swing, but my wife doesnt

Q.   My wife and I are still young, We are both 34 and we have been together for 17 years, highschool sweet hearts and I love her very much. But lately, I have been expressing to her how much I would like to be with another couple. She is a very ...

A.   23 May 2008: A great sexual experience is about doing something that BOTH partners willingly want to do. Pushing your partner to do something she doesn't want to do, whatever that may be, is a quick way to make something that is mutually pleasurable tense and ... (read in full...)

Are black men different in bed?

Q.   Hi I would like some honest answer. my wife and i have a great sex life that involves having sex with others at swinger parties. resently we have watched a few home made pornos from the net that have had large black fellow in. these have realy...

A.   23 May 2008: Do black guys have bigger cocks? Yes, but not by much. For all races penis size is on a bell curve and the difference between each individual's penises is greater than that between whites and blacks. Same with intelligence.... (read in full...)

Do I leave for a couple weeks, a month, permanetly?

Q.   Good day. I am in a committed, generally speaking, good working relationship, going on 3 years-living together for 2 1/2 years. We share a dog, I have 2 cats, he has a bird (we cannot have human children). We are both recovering addicts for 4 ...

A.   23 May 2008: One reason he may reject you is that part of the excitement he gets from his fetish is a fear of getting caught and rejected by others. This could be from an childhood imprint of his mother's panicked reaction to his playing with her lingerie. Y... (read in full...)

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