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... Send *DinCali a private message | | | *DinCali's profile:I've had a lot of experiences with people and places so far, in my first 30 years; a lot of ups a downs with lessons learned. I'm a very empathetic person with a good nature and honest with life.
I try to be a good Agony Aunt, treating others with the kind of honesty that I'd like to receive. I enjoy helping others with struggles and do my best to give a perspective, that maybe they haven't conceived of. By no means am I perfect, so you'll see me post questions as well as answering them. Just like when in love, we all get blinded at times and sometimes a strangers advice is the light bulb that's needed to go off in our gray matter.
I believe life is about enjoying what we have and surviving. It's about having the courage to overcome our fears and challenges, creating strength in our intestinal fortitude, so we can make the decisions we need, for the betterment of ourselves and those we love. Even if that means to move on if we need to. Advice is, at times, the push we need to put our words into action.
As a single Mom, Medic Veteran, Massage Therapist and now Nursing student I've been privileged to a lot of education and experiences which gives my words credibility. I've had to learn huge lessons in humility, perseverance and patience. I've also had lot of moments in my time to examine my past.
I hope my words help you and I'm looking forward to reading yours. Take Care and Be Well.
J.D. |
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We have a beautiful daughter and a nice house, why would he want to put that in jeopardy???
Q. My Fiance and I will be together 8 years in May, we have a beautiful daughter who will be 4 in March, we have a house together that we bought 4 years ago. My Fiance recently found an old girlfriend on Facebook and he has be chatting with her for ...
A. 25 February 2011: Wow, I know how you feel...
Some men put wonderful things in jeopardy, because they're so caught up in their moment of selfishness, they're not looking further down the road.
If he's met her for breakfast, drinks and not telling you; he's dating h... (read in full...)
It makes me sick to think about my husband going on a work trip with a female co-worker. How do I cope?
Q. I hate being jealous, but I don't know how to change! I absolutely admire people who never get jealous. How do they do it? My husband will be traveling out of town next month with a female co-worker and I'm trying to be cool about it, but it is ...
A. 25 February 2011: You have no choice, but to trust him. So, there's no point in driving yourself crazy with unnecessary stress. Any woman would be jealous, so your feelings are very normal.
The best thing you can do is have a calm, sincere talk with your husb... (read in full...)
Could I have gotten HIV from this? Condom broke!
Q. hello guys, im kinda freakin out right now. yesterday i went clubbing with some friends and we got really drunk. and there was this girl next to me. so i went to talk to her and we danced and everything. later on she went home with me and we had ...
A. 20 February 2011: Seems like one night stands aren't for your conscientious mind. That's a good thing!
Try using condoms that haven't been in your wallet or glove compartment long. The newer the condom the better the elasticity of its rubber and to aid its dura... (read in full...)
Why do people think of single mothers as taboo and easy? Need help finding decent men!
Q. It's been two years now that I've been doing the single parent thing, (I'm over my divorce). And... I can't tell you how disappointing it's been for me, to merge back into society with a different status. I recently stopped attending this mega chu...
A. 19 February 2011: I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate all your advice. This kind of honesty isn't often received here, because I can't really talk about the r-word, (relationships), around family mainly my Mother. She and my Step-father feel that I should ... (read in full...)
For all women
Q. Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
A. 19 February 2011: Love Maya Angelou! Thanks for posting this. Cheered me up! ... (read in full...)
Why do people think of single mothers as taboo and easy? Need help finding decent men!
Q. It's been two years now that I've been doing the single parent thing, (I'm over my divorce). And... I can't tell you how disappointing it's been for me, to merge back into society with a different status. I recently stopped attending this mega chu...
A. 19 February 2011: Thanks for reading. Feel kind of silly now for venting about this. Kind of an ambiguous rant demanding an answer to my dating issues. Not much a person can say in response. You're right, I need time to date. It's funny, dating as a single woman wa... (read in full...)
My husband's mid life crisis...
Q. My husband of 19 years seems to be going through a mid-life crisis. How do I get him to stop thinking he would like to cheat and come back to me?...
A. 19 February 2011: Time to take a vacation! Do something you normally wouldn't do. How about a safari in Africa, the Amazon...whatever you think would be thrilling and amazing to stir up those intimate desires again.
Try to get him to remember why you married and ... (read in full...)
Guy 'best friend' for a woman?
Q. Is it possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex? It always seems to go south for me, but I really don't like how catty women can be. Most recent example: I had this guy "best friend" for 10 years, he surprises me by suddenly hitting ...
A. 19 February 2011: Thank you for your answers.
Just so you know, this all happened last summer, I guess every now and then I miss him. Sometimes I think he's had too many concussions while in the military and lacking good judgment because of it. So you're right Krys... (read in full...)
Why do this if she had a boyfriend?
Q. My best girl friend and I walk home from school almost every day and about 3 weeks ago we started holding hand and arms round waist when walking. Then she told me she had a bf so what was the point of all of the holding hands and being close?...
A. 18 February 2011: If she's been a good friend to you, she might not be playing games.
Maybe you should ask her if there's anything going on. Sometimes when people reach out for a hug they're saddened by something in their lives. Maybe something's not right at home... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 18 February 2011: No, unless he/she is obviously a player. People make rash decisions at times, (emotional action/reaction deal). Who you are in your 20's isn't the same person as your 30's. People can learn from mistakes, that's what life is about.
Couples just need... (read in full...)
My husband never wants intimacy.
Q. My husband never wants intimacy. It started a few years ago, and I wanted to leave, but it is a 20 more year marriage, with children. It's not easy to throw it away, especially we have lots of problems too with children too. So it is not too happy ...
A. 18 February 2011: Since your husband isn't being intimate, then maybe putting some adventure into your lives will bring out it out. Do something together that you normally don't do. Change up your routines.
Maybe start going on walks together, hikes, then going to d... (read in full...)
What constitutes as being good or bad on top in bed? How can I be great on top?
Q. My boyfriend and I were talking last night about sex, and he told me that "you're not that good on top. But I can help you. But I'm not saying you're bad also." I'm glad he was being honest about it, but I'm not gonna lie, it did hurt a lot hearing ...
A. 18 February 2011: Ever thought that maybe you're really good and he's intimidated by how overall good you are in bed? Maybe he felt like there was too much competition and he has to take a verbal stab at you, to make himself feel better. I've known men who do this. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me about the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone ("A-spot")?
Q. Does anyone have any experience with the Anterior fornix erogenous zone ("A-spot")? Is it real? How do you stimulate it?...
A. 18 February 2011: "...the most easy way to locate the AFE zone is to slide the fingers halfway up the posterior vaginal wall, you will find a larger area than the G-spot, which is slightly rougher than the normal vaginal wall...Some anatomists say the AFE zone is ... (read in full...)
He tries to pleasure me, but it doesn't feel good at all. Can someone help me to communicate this without hurting his feelings?
Q. I am in a huge sexual rut with my boyfriend. we were each other's firsts and we didn't know what we were doing so we just started with toys. it was a big mistake. that was 5 yr ago. now i don't want to do toys, cause i feel like it's getting in the ...
A. 18 February 2011: Seems like you've tried every which way to communicate to your man and honestly its hard to imagine he hasn't gotten it. Considering he got so offended when you asked him to stop doing oral, means he has little to no ability to receive constructive ... (read in full...)
Why DOESN’T my boyfriend take issue with anything I do?
Q. *Dave is great. We’ve been together for two years, and we’ve had a pretty smooth ride so far. He’s my first guy, and I’m thankful for the relationship I have with him. I love him dearly, and definitely see more years by his side. What stumps me, ...
A. 18 February 2011: It's quite possible Dave doesn't share his feelings more, because he's avoiding potential conflict. Some men can't stand arguing, due to the fact they feel like things are always their fault.
I suppose only time will tell. If he's holding back... (read in full...)
She wants my help... but not my love.
Q. What do you do with a girl who is always telling you her problems and asks you for help with things, like with favors or for advice, and yet doesn't want to be involved with you romantically and is interested in other people? Is it wrong to want ...
A. 18 February 2011: She wants to be a "friend", but you want to date her. That's incompatibility = no deal. Unless she decides to pay you an hourly rate to listen to her vent.
Reiterate how you feel and if she's persistently uninterested, move on. It's not fair to a... (read in full...)
Should I just calm down and not expect too much from it but see him anyway?
Q. So I texted this guy and asked if he wanted to get together sometime. He apologized for not getting to me sooner and we met. After the date I texted to thank him and he answered back 2 days later??? Not good! Since then he texted me every weekend to ...
A. 17 February 2011: It would seem that texting isn't his preferred method of communication and neither is it yours. Maybe it's too detached for him. So, considering you're wanting instant communication and he's seemingly shy and socially unaware, it would be best to ... (read in full...)
I'm so preoccupied with my partner being attracted to others.
Q. I need help - I'm so preoccupied with my partner being attracted to others. Not attracted as in finding someone else pretty or goodlooking, that is fine. But what I am most scared about is the possibility of him crushing on someone. That would make ...
A. 17 February 2011: You need to let go of your past pains. Talk to your man and be open and honest with each other. Try to see if you can pin-point where all these negative thoughts are coming from, so you can start resolving your trust issues.
Everyone has been hurt... (read in full...)
Family problems! Should I be more wary of them?
Q. Hi Everyone.... Though I'm old enough to know better, you'd think I would know better than to feeling defeated. My family consists of my parents, my sister and her husband and kids, and me and my fiancee. I am educated and a hard worker and a vol...
A. 17 February 2011: Loose lips, sink ships and there's a lot of gossip that's tearing your family apart. The best thing to do is to take a step back from all the "smack talk" and take the high road by socializing with family that isn't backstabbing. Make sure your ... (read in full...)
What's up with this girl?
Q. there is this girl that i like and i know she likes me too. we often text or call and we have a date next week.but.... first she accepted my friend request too late on facebook and after we arranged for date she deleted me off her friend ...
A. 17 February 2011: Her inconsistency suggests she's unsure what she wants.
It's hard to say more, it could any number of reasons, so it's better not to assume. The best way to know, would be to ask her why she deleted you.
Maybe she likes the response on her wall... (read in full...)
I was rejected because of my height
Q. A girl i liked rejected me because of my height, i am 5'7 and i never thought twice about my height, it hurt because i cant change how i was born.my question is are all girls that way? I was very good to this girl in every way....
A. 17 February 2011: Sometimes women who are more muscular, big boned or over weight feel more interested in taller men, because bigger men make them feel more feminine. It's a security thing most women can identify with, so try dating women shorter than you. ... (read in full...)
Penis too small for condom?
Q. It's probably weird to be putting on a condom when you've never even had a girlfriend but just give me the benefit of the doubt, okay? I was curious to see how it felt. Anyway, these condoms claim to be "average" or "thin" sized but they're stil...
A. 17 February 2011: Lifestyles Snugger Fit Condoms
http://www.undercovercondoms.com/readuserreview.asp?ID=65
... (read in full...)
I don't know why he won't ask me out, is it because of the color of my skin?
Q. Well in the past four years me and this guy have liked each other only in the last year 09 he finally gave me his number. We talked everyday he told me he loved me and i fell for it. He then got me to send pictures and the following week stopped ...
A. 17 February 2011: Sounds like he has co-dependency issues; having a hard time standing up for himself and others he cares for. You deserve a guy that is strong, knows what he wants and will protect you when you need it, never denying his love for you.
When a guy ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, in love with my 25-year-old teacher! What do I do?
Q. Hey This is something i have really struggled with for the past few months. I think I am in love with my 25 year old female teacher. I am a guy and I am 16, 17 this year. If I dont talk to her, then I feel terrible that day; if i make he...
A. 17 February 2011: Sometimes to really love someone you have to let them go. This really isn't about you, reason being, if she got caught being with you she would lose her career! So, if you really cared about her you wouldn't want to jeopardize her life based on some ... (read in full...)
Screwed up by sending a stupid text accusing him of being a player & a cheater
Q. A co-worker started flirting with me at a Christmas party. After quite a few drinks, we ended up going home together. I though I wouldn't hear from him but I did. He texted me every day for 2 weeks - some of the stuff was very romantic, like he'd ...
A. 17 February 2011: After he said, "I'm damaged" etc. and stopped contacting you. You shouldn't have messaged him back, it's just wasted breath on your part. Even if all the gossip was true. So what, he's done and already ended things with you. I understand you may ... (read in full...)
He wants to go out, but I want him to stay. Am I being selfish?
Q. me and my bf are very close we do everything togther and realy we dnt go out much without eachothr our relantionship is good but latly he told me hes bored and wants to go out to the bar i knw he wants sum alone time but i just dnt see it fair that ...
A. 17 February 2011: I remember those times! Men mean so much to their pregnant women. Just don't forget, you may be two people together on the same road of life, but you're still two individuals.
Try not to be so bummed out and coped up inside. Do something you've b... (read in full...)
Help! I don't know if I'm being selfish!
Q. I need help in reasuring my thoughts are legit and I'm not being unreasonable.... I married my husband 4 years ago. We dated for 8 years before he finally purposed. I honestly think he asked me to marry him because he overheard that I was planning...
A. 17 February 2011: Seems like your husband is having a bit of a self worth issue. He's not being the man he needs to be for you, the father he needs to be or the provider. He's not doing what he said he was going to do, most likely because he doesn't feel like a real ... (read in full...)
I'm dating my best friend's brother
Q. So here is my problem. I'm in love with my best friend's brother. When she found out she was pissed but now she says she is cool with us being together. We have been seeing each other for about seven months but I still feel guilty. The thing is...
A. 16 February 2011: You answered it: she's jealous. She doesn't want to share her friend with her brother! That means your secrets may pass to him and she has to share everything with him already! :) ...but also, she's probably worried that if your relationship with ... (read in full...)
Should I just stay on my own right now? Did I matter that little to her?
Q. Howdy. I've been on here a couple of times before, and always got sound advice. Here's a quick basic rundown of what's happened to me. Lots of things have been omitted because I can go into immense detail but have tried not to for the sake of ...
A. 16 February 2011: I feel your pain. Three years is a lot of dedication to a relationship, but it takes two to tango.
She's most likely a very insecure person to monkey-bar so soon between men. This is something she needs to resolve herself. She's covering up woun... (read in full...)
Is he treating me like a friend of his? Or is he interested?
Q. I have this guy friend, I think we are quite close and very good friends. But I am not sure if he just treats me like a friend or he likes me as a girl. We are in the same work place, and there are several things he does for me that I feel quite ...
A. 16 February 2011: Seems like he's trying to involve himself in your life so, I would say he's interested.
Ask yourself: How do you feel? Do you like him?
It's possible he's waiting for you to tell him how you feel...regardless if he's expecting that or not, you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend fell for the the fake profile that I created on a social networking site, to test him . What do I do now?
Q. I made a fake profile today on a social network and decided to add my boyfriend and see what he would do. Before him, I was in a really bad relationship full of lying and cheating, so I guess you can say I've become bitter and distrusting. I know he ...
A. 16 February 2011: I can understand your need to test your man, (we never really know the person we're with and are forced to accept our mates words as truth), but if he's never wronged you in the past then it's better to upload GoldenEye on his computer and do a ... (read in full...)
I'm scared sex will ruin what we have
Q. Ok well me and my girl have been together for 5 months and we are both sure we love each other... i find her amazing and gorgeous... now we are both teens so we have the urge to have sex... well we want to with each other.. but at the same time ...
A. 16 February 2011: You are being very mature for debating whether to have sex or not. I'm sure you're aware, having sex = the potential to have babies. The best birth control is looking up how much the average baby costs a couple per year and if you don't have a job ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me see the logical steps in this breakup?
Q. i've recently broken up with my first love, i've tried to have a 'rebound' and plenty of guys are interested in me but i am really hating being single. I feel like such a failure who will only ever watch it work out for others. He dumped me and told ...
A. 16 February 2011: You're not a failure. You seem like a supportive partner and that's a good trait to have. It's better that he ended things with you honestly, rather than cheating behind your back. You need time, a long time, to be you and do what you love to do or... (read in full...)
Falling in love with my step brother...what do I do?
Q. ok my dad just remaried and i have a new stepbrother im 13 and hes 15 we still live in a 3 bedroom appartment and when my dad has me and my brother his new wife has her sons one is 11 and my bro is 11 but my new stepbrother who is 15 is realy sweet ...
A. 14 February 2011: You need to respect your parents and stop messing around. Their relationship came first. You all are family, stop being selfish with your teenage hormones and think about the big picture. There are a lot of guys in the world, there's no need to ... (read in full...)
I know I'm in love but how do I know if he is?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a while now and we both say that we love each other and we seem to be in appearances but I keep getting this gut feeling that he doesn't want me to be anywhere near him. I know I'm so in love with him and the ...
A. 14 February 2011: If this guy really loves you, his actions will speak louder than words. That said, most guys don't really dig Valentine's Day. It's like how a wedding is mostly for the bride. Guys don't like to feel pressured to spend money. Just feel privileged ... (read in full...)
My last girlfriend cheated on me. Will I ever find a another love who I will be able to trust?
Q. Recently, I was cheated on by my girlfriend. I loved her so much and trusted her alot too, but she proved to be contrary to what I thought of her. Do you think I will find another girl whom I will love and trust? The problem is that I have totally ...
A. 14 February 2011: I feel your pain, a lot of us do. Your ex-girlfriend cheated because, she was insecure about something. Now, whether that "something" was due to issues in your relationship or from deep down in her heart...never mind her "issues" they are hers and ... (read in full...)
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