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*ereAreMyTwoCents agony aunt

*ereAreMyTwoCents

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*ereAreMyTwoCents's profile:

28 year old white female, Maryland USA, married three years, together eight years, no children. What qualifies me to help people as an agony aunt? My desire to do so, and my life experience. We all have life experience wisdom to offer other people. We can choose to keep it to ourselves, or we can share it and help someone who may need it...

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I need advice about proceeding with my marriage plans.

Q.   Dear Cupid: I have a dilemma. I recently got engaged to someone who I have been involved with for two years. To be honest, the person was involved in another relationship for a number of years when we got together but last year, things were ove...

A.   5 October 2009: "I am upset about what happened but we both feel this incident was not worth giving up a lifetime of love and happiness over a mistake." That's like saying, I am upset that he dropped an anvil on my head, but I should overlook it and keep going. ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my girlfriend's best friend!

Q.   I am inlove with my girlfriends best friend and i realy don't know what to do. I once kiss her, which has makes me fall inlove with her more. What must i do?...

A.   29 September 2009: Tell your girlfriend that you kissed and are in love with her best friend, is the first thing you must do, if you want to do the right thing. If you want to do the right thing, you already know what you need to do, you don't need someone else to ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my older male cousin

Q.   Okay.... I have a cousin complex. Meaning, I'm in love with my cousin. We never saw each other in a couple of months(maybe even years) so I don't know how he looks like in awhile. But yesterday(09.27.09)at my other cousin's(his older brother's)...

A.   29 September 2009: Get over it. He is your cousin. That is all the advice that you need to be told. HE IS YOUR COUSIN. He is family. He is family. He is family. Keep repeating that over and over and over. If you had a half brother, you would be sharing the ... (read in full...)

Tatoos and where to get them?

Q.   Ok, so this isnt a realtionship question or anything but i was wondering if someone could help me with this decision. i have a tattoo on my back towards my neck and its fairly decent size tattoo about 7 inches in length and about 4 inches wide. now ...

A.   29 September 2009: Before you get anymore tattoos, do remember the old reminder about how things sag and tattoos don't look that good once you are older. With that in mind, look at your body, are you pearshaped apple shaped, etc? Which parts of your body are going ... (read in full...)

Geographically undesireable is becoming desireable

Q.   Dear Cupid, Great longing and an aching heart for someone far away brought me to you tonight. I look towards the wisdom and divinity of dearcupid.org to lean on. First, I will get right to the point, then provide support details and describe the...

A.   29 September 2009: Long distance is definitely an obstacle to relationships. I have always thought that a "long distance relationship" is an oxymoron. However, if there is something real between you two, which you would regret if you didn't try to pursue to see what ... (read in full...)

My wife's pubic hair is a turn-off!

Q.   This is a bit embarrassing but by wife has a hairy vagina that I find quite a turnoff. I don't know how to discuss the issue with her without hurting her feelings. I trim and shave myself but my wife seems to prefer herself untrimmed. We've been ...

A.   29 September 2009: Ok, you need to just tell her straight out to do it, because it would help alot with getting you turned on. And if she starts to have a hissy fit or something, tell her you even went online to ask the agony aunts what was the most sensitive way to ... (read in full...)

Why does she dress to impress when I'm not around?

Q.   hey whats up guys and girls i need help i don't know what to do. my girlfriend always dresses nice when I'm not going to be around like when she goes to school or work or something she never wears nice things when i am. does she have something on ...

A.   25 September 2009: This does not mean she is cheating, it just means that when she goes to a certain place she dresses a certain way. When you are around a bunch of people, in general it's expected that you dress better than in your comfortable surroundings. Chances ... (read in full...)

I feel my boyfriend's mother is overstepping a little with our plans for the baby!

Q.   I don't know if i'm thinking to deep into this matter or wether or not i have some valied resson for concern. Me and my partner are expecting are first child in a few months but frew out the whole pregnancy I have had some concern as to wether or ...

A.   25 September 2009: I would say pick your battles wisely with this issue, because there will come a time very soon, after you have the baby, when you will appreciate any and all help that you can get in raising and taking care of this baby. So if it pleases her to ... (read in full...)

Wanting a phone sex relationship to be more

Q.   I have been in a on and off again phone sex type relationship with an older man ever since i was 15, i'm now 17 and he is 40 years old and divorced with two kids, issue is, i am starting to fall really hard for him. i want more from it, but, i'm not ...

A.   25 September 2009: Although for me and for just about everyone else on this forum it is clear as daylight that this will never work and will only lead to unnatural and unnecessary pain for you, I know that you will say that we are just killjoys. But you have been ... (read in full...)

Wanting a phone sex relationship to be more

Q.   I have been in a on and off again phone sex type relationship with an older man ever since i was 15, i'm now 17 and he is 40 years old and divorced with two kids, issue is, i am starting to fall really hard for him. i want more from it, but, i'm not ...

A.   25 September 2009: This "relationship" that you are in needs to stop immediately. You have absolutely no idea how much trouble, pain and suffering you are headed for if you continue to pursue this.... (read in full...)

Should I even try to begin to understand??

Q.   Hi, Don't know if anyone else can get their head around this because I can't... I was going out with a girl for 7 years. We got on so well, really knew each other, and had got to the stage that we could openly talk about anything. She even br...

A.   25 September 2009: Ok, the thing that seems funny to me about this is why you have been together for seven years and ONLY NOW she brings up marriage! Someone that honestly loves you and wants to be with you (especially a woman - although as a woman I do have no ... (read in full...)

How do I dump him gracefully? Ignore him or tell him straight?

Q.   Hi, I posted this yesterday and got 2 replies I am so thankful for. But I need more advise from our dear aunts. I am still confused... How should I turn down my ex without with grace? Here's the background. I have realized now he has played ...

A.   25 September 2009: Be who you are and follow your heart and tell him straight out, instead of ignoring him. Despite the fact that what he deserves is your complete ignorance. Stay true to yourself, and treat him the way your gut is telling you to, and then move on. ... (read in full...)

B/f doesn't trust me at all and its driving me bats!

Q.   Should i stay or should i go? my boyfriend of 1 year doesn't trust me at all. i don't give him reason not to trust me, i'm very faithful and loving and wouldn't dream of cheating. he accuses me daily of cheating, he genuinly thinks i already have ...

A.   24 September 2009: You are in a very difficult situation. You must think very hard about whether or not you want him in your life, GIVEN the fact that his suspicions will only get worse and worse as time wears on and you will constantly be under the stress and ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to be married and have friends of the opposite sex?

Q.   I am 41 and have been married for 22 years. Is it ok for me to have female friends and my wife to have male friends? We have plenty of mutual friends but maybe we need our private lives to help us remember who we are. I have been told that the ...

A.   24 September 2009: Whether or not to have opposite sex friends that are not mutual friends is a boundary which you and your wife must decide if you are both comfortable crossing. It is neither right nor wrong. However, you must both have a lot of trust in each other ... (read in full...)

Does the way I dress scare women?

Q.   The reason I ask is because I often get some strange looks from women as I walk past. They often give me a look like they're scared. I'm wondering if its because of the way I dress. I often wear a black coat, usually wear black jeans, have black ...

A.   24 September 2009: You have two choices. Look for goth girls, who won't be scared off by the all black look or else, change the way you dress in order to make a better impression on a wider variety of people. Whether we like it or not, our physical appearance is the ... (read in full...)

She doesn't always take the pill at the same time. Can I ejactulate inside her??

Q.   I have a question about birth control. My girlfriend was on the pill (Ortho Tri Cyclen Low) for about 4 years. She took a 6 month break and has been back on it for about 10 months now. She takes it each morning when she gets up, but that time ...

A.   21 September 2009: A couple of hours difference in the morning is not going to reduce the efficacy of the pill. If you read the instructions for orthotricyclen, it says that even if you miss a day, just take it when you remember and take the next one at the regular ... (read in full...)

After being rejected how are you supposed to act like it doesn't hurt?

Q.   When you get rejected by someone. Someone that doesn't feel the same way for you. How are you supposed to act like it doesn't bother you? How are you supposed to act like nothing ever happened? God, I have been praying forever and talking to him to ...

A.   21 September 2009: Ok, you yourself said it's NOT LOVE. Keep that thought in mind. Eventually your mind and heart will adjust to the thought. Eventually you will move on. You will be a different person. No one ever said life or love was easy. And now you're ... (read in full...)

How are we supposed to make ends meet?

Q.   I have 3 boys 11,14,17..they are all good boys..but i cant feed them..they eat to much and me and my husband cant support them..we rent a home and work work work to feed and cloth them and provide for them but they are always hungry and need stuff ...

A.   21 September 2009: The first thing I can think of that you can do is to appeal to your local food banks; they are there for people exactly in your situation. Since you are on the internet, you can Google "food banks in (fill in your town)." Also, start shopping at ... (read in full...)

I'm having my brother's baby and I'm worried

Q.   I need serious help! Im pregnat and its my brothers. Im 2 months along and Im affraid of the outcome might be. This is my first pregnancy. We're both very young. I want to keep it because Im against abortions but at the same time I don't want to ...

A.   21 September 2009: I'm not sure that, given the situation you have presented here, there is any good answer to give you. But if I was in your situation (although I cannot imagine ever getting myself in this situation unless I had a brother who tragically raped me and ... (read in full...)

Do you think such a relationship nowadays can work, considering the age gap?

Q.   I am a 47 yrs of age man, an artist, and I've dated young women for a while, mostly friendships, based on similar interests like wine, dinning, companionship, and of course sex. About a year ago, I met this girl, she's 17 yrs younger, and what i ...

A.   16 September 2009: Go for it. It can happen. Just remember that it is for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. And four children is a lot of children. But if you are enthusiastic about helping to properly rear four human beings for 18 years, as they ... (read in full...)

I prefer to be single! So why can't I just break up with him???

Q.   I am the queen of non-commitment. Im like the one female on earth that doesnt believe in marriage and children, I dont believe humans are built that way. Ive been in a relationship for 3 months now, and everything is awful but I cant seem to end it! ...

A.   16 September 2009: Maybe your heart is trying to tell you that if you two could just learn to get along like in a normal healthy relationship, that it could then be really good! After all, you said that there is zero communication, and if that is so, then there is ... (read in full...)

Dreamed I had sex with a stranger

Q.   i had a dream that i had sex with someone that i didnt even know. what is that dream trying to tell me? is that normal?...

A.   15 September 2009: This is something you should not even be worrying about. You're more than ok.... (read in full...)

What do I make of his reply?

Q.   Hello all, Just a little advice please. I work for a very large organisation, we all work around a 24/7 shift pattern. I noticed a guy at work 1 year ago, thought he was not bad looking. I then met someone on my team, started seeing him, split ...

A.   15 September 2009: That's not enough to make anything out of it. But at least now you know he's single.... (read in full...)

Sometimes I feel she see's right through me...

Q.   I just wish she loved me. We've been together for 7 years and have 2 children. I love her, in love with her, she isn't. It's reaching obsession point now and I'm craving affection and her love. I want to marry her but she won't marry me. I adore her ...

A.   15 September 2009: Sorry to hear about your relationship. I kind of know how you feel.... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my cousin help!

Q.   I am in love with my first cousin, and i am absolutely positive of this. Ever since i first laid eyes on her when i was 12 years old i had the biggest crush on her. She is 2 years older than me. i am 21 now and she is 23! as years went by we got ...

A.   15 September 2009: Ok, so in the spirit of being (very) open minded, I'll say this: First cousin relationships were not as unacceptable in the (distant) past as they are today, and they are not as unacceptable in some cultures today. However, (and this is a big ... (read in full...)

How do I get more control in this relationship? Don't tell me to leave him, I love him!

Q.   im 15 about to be 16 and my bf is 18 turning 19 in a few months. i really do love him. we have been through hell and back twice together. but even since the beginning of our relationship we have brought out the absolute worst in each other. im a ...

A.   14 September 2009: Your boyfriend sounds utterly revolting. I am sorry you ended up experiencing life with him. I know you say you love him, but whatever this feeling of love is, is nothing compared to the kind of love you would have with a man who shows you real ... (read in full...)

How do I get this girl close enough to ask her out?

Q.   I work at Morrison's supermarket and there have been a few new staff employed recently. There is this girl who is around the same age as me who I've started to like. I sometimes talk to her on my breaks. She is quite shy and placid. I speak ...

A.   14 September 2009: Find out what she likes, and where she might like to go on a date. And ask her out. Yeah, I believe that is all there is to it :)... (read in full...)

Are guys really addicted to checking out other women even if they are with someone?

Q.   are all guys adicted to really checking girls out when they are with someone else or is that just natural...

A.   14 September 2009: It's just human nature, in both genders. Don't worry about it.... (read in full...)

Anal sex and wife won't try it

Q.   Hi Firstly I apologise for such a long post, but this is a BIG problem with lots of different elements. My wife and I have been together for almost 6 years (married 3 months) and a few problems keep coming up. The first problem, the one that...

A.   14 September 2009: Ok, you say you are a guy with high sex drive. Ok, then both of you need to find ways to get creative and do it often. This, by the way, is not abnormal - high sex drive in man, watching porn a lot, and masturbating. To the wife, if you want him ... (read in full...)

I want my boyfriend to think I'm a virgin even though I am not

Q.   Hi, i need some help. When i was 20 years old i had sex with a guy....that was my first time. Since that was my first time so i bleed. Now im 25 years of age. And for the last 5 years i didn't had sex. I just wanted to know if now il have sex with ...

A.   14 September 2009: Tell him the truth. This kind of a lie is not the way to start a relationship. NO, no, no, not at all. We cannot go through life thinking we will get the love, honesty and respect that we want, without giving it back. That's my two cents.... (read in full...)

Am I being insane, or is he comparing me to an ideal that I will never be?

Q.   So, I recently got engaged to a man that I love so dearly, and I know that he loves me too..Here's the background: it took us around 7 or 8 months before he actually committed, once he did, we were very serious and he has "never looked back"...but ...

A.   14 September 2009: Maybe the reason the other girls looked like that is because that is what he likes so then those are the girls he's attracted to, so if that is what he likes, then instead of worrying, just have a natural look. It's so much easier upkeep anyway! I ... (read in full...)

I feel stuck with an impossible choice: him or friends!

Q.   I am in a long term relationship with an older man. The age hasn't been an issue until recently. I am in my mid 20s and he is in his mid 40s. We had led a quiet life together which we both liked. I had a bit of social anxiety and was unwell for a...

A.   14 September 2009: Obviously, things are not peachy keen. Evaluate your priorities. He is probably jealous. You said there's an age difference. Add to that, if you are very social and he isn't, then that is a conflict. If his jealousy doesn't get any worse than ... (read in full...)

At 21, is it too late to learn and be loved ?

Q.   I've always had problems socialising and making friends, as in I have no idea how to form relationships. This also means i've never had a girlfriend. I just have no confidence, feel like im imposing myself on people and generally just clueless. ...

A.   13 September 2009: No, not too old at all! You're young. Remember that to get love, you must give love. If you're hurt anyway, leave and go on to the next person. That's basically all that it comes down to. Easy to say, hard to do. Just start, though. The first ... (read in full...)

I'm always wondering if he's lying to me about doing drugs

Q.   hi everyone im 21 and been with my boyfriend since i was 16 now i know it may sound stupid but i was lied to about drugs... Serious drugs... Now he claims he isnt doin them anymore and i wanna believe him but cant let the past go that he lied to me ...

A.   13 September 2009: Look up the symptoms of drug abuse for the drugs you suspect he is doing. If he shows those symptoms, then he is doing them. ... (read in full...)

Scared my eating disorder will return!

Q.   i'm 4 months pregnant with my 2nd baby(planned), me and my fiance are both over the moon. I'm very excited and feel very blessed to be carrying our second child. I love being a mummy to be 10 month old little boy. He's my whole world and I love him...

A.   12 September 2009: If you are anorexic, remember to not trust mirrors! Go by scales and measuring tapes. You are already aware that what YOU see in the mirror is distorted, right? Good luck on your quest to be fit and healthy mother! And don't forget that fit and ... (read in full...)

I can't tell is it's just flirting?

Q.   Lately, I've been confused by the attention of a personal trainer at my gym. I signed up for him, and we got along great, and he even came to one of my family's get togethers. There's always been a bit of flirting, from him. I play stupid because I ...

A.   8 September 2009: This man is MARRIED. MARRIED. MARRIED. Are you sure you want to end up this man's third wife? Think about it. ... (read in full...)

I need advice about proceeding with my marriage plans.

Q.   Dear Cupid: I have a dilemma. I recently got engaged to someone who I have been involved with for two years. To be honest, the person was involved in another relationship for a number of years when we got together but last year, things were ove...

A.   8 September 2009: "My best friend told me to break off the engagment and not trust my partner who cheated just one week after our engagement, but I am deeply in love" ..... Ok.... 1) Stop being deeply in love with this jerk, and 2) Listen to your best friend.... oh, ... (read in full...)

Do I stay or do I leave? I'm so confused...

Q.   Hi All, Well im a young sixteen year old girl. I have (well, had) in my opinion a pretty amazing boyfriend. We broke up the end of July because of a few problems. He's done some things that I was not happy with, It wasnt the fact that he did thos...

A.   8 September 2009: I know you're too young too realize this now, but at your age many people are not able to have a solid, mature, trusting, committed relationship. It sounds like you may want one with him. It sounds like he does not necessarily want one. I would ... (read in full...)

Is 8 years too big an age gap?

Q.   Hello, I'm a guy who just turned 25 last week and have started dating a brilliant girl who is only 16, 17 in a couple of months. Is this too big an age gap for a relationship? I've known this girl for a few months and she has had the hots for me ...

A.   8 September 2009: It is not a large gap technically. There is a ten year gap in my own marriage. However, it is the stages of life that you are in which can easily pose a problem in your case. 30 and 38 is like not a big deal at all, but 16 and 25 could very well ... (read in full...)

Is my ex just trying to be my friend or is he crazy?

Q.   I am married and have two children. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. Our marriage is great but can be a little better. Before I met my husband, I was with a man that was a cheat and very dominating. Beside all the flaws, he was great ...

A.   8 September 2009: Yes, he is crazy. No you are not just acting silly. Now you see what it is like to be the woman that he is NOT in the relationship with. If you have a good marriage with your current man, don't risk ruining it for this guy who seems to be ... (read in full...)

Why can't I be around his daughter? Is he ashamed of me?

Q.   Theresz disz guy that i have been talkin to for a year now. hes 31 and has a 4 year old daughter. im 18 years old, so thats not the problem..whenever i want to come ova, his daughter isnt there. he told me nobody comes ova wen his daughter is there, ...

A.   4 September 2009: He is trying to protect his daughter's feelings, which is commendable. On the other hand, the fact that you have still not been allowed to see his daughter for over a year now means that he is still not sure about how permanent you will be in his ... (read in full...)

Can someone tell me what the hell happened here?

Q.   I have dated a guy for 3 months whom I really liked and we got on very well, he told me that he enjoys my company very much and there was also lots of chemistry. After around 6 weeks he asked me to see each other exclusively. He was not always v...

A.   3 September 2009: It's possible that you turned him off by playing hard to get. I know that women are taught to play hard to get, but I don't think it's a good thing to give someone the opposite signal of what you are feeling. It ends up backfiring and seems like a ... (read in full...)

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