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| | *ereAreMyTwoCents's profile:28 year old white female, Maryland USA, married three years, together eight years, no children. What qualifies me to help people as an agony aunt? My desire to do so, and my life experience. We all have life experience wisdom to offer other people. We can choose to keep it to ourselves, or we can share it and help someone who may need it...
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Is there something I can do to grab a guy's attention?
Q. Hi, i am 20 years old and i have yet to snag a boyfriend. I consider myself to be a really nice person who is always there to help others when they need it. But for some reason guys only see me as someone they could be friends with...nothing more. ...
A. 7 October 2009: Those guys that are describing their dream girl to you, and it happens to be you... have you asked any of them out on a date, or are you waiting for THEM to ask YOU out? Make sure you have not skipped this step.... (read in full...)
Will I ever feel attracted to her sexually like I used to?
Q. Hello. This is actually a question my boyfriend wanted me to ask. He says : " Ever since my girlfriend had a baby , I do not feel sexually attracted to her at all. She has lost all her baby weight but I just dont see her the same anymore. Sh...
A. 7 October 2009: Ok, I'm not a guy, but in his defense it is possible that he is acting this way because now you are a different person to him, and the entire situation is different. Maybe because now you are not "young girlfriend" anymore, now youre "mother of his ... (read in full...)
Should I just get over my boyfriend having phone sex?
Q. my boyfriend saw 2 of his ex-girlfriends this week, randomly. which didn't bother me. but 2 gays after he saw them, we were having phone sex because he goes out of town for work. and he was getting into it and he almost said their names twice. he ...
A. 7 October 2009: Yeah, in this particular case I think you may have over reacted, because you did say the he recently bumped into both of them. Now, if this repeats and becomes a pattern, then I would start to become concerned. But just the one time I don't think ... (read in full...)
Is she making lame excuses?
Q. My long distance gf doesn't call me the way she used to. I thought she is having problem. I wait and being there for her to talk to. Months passed. Things get worse. If she missed my call, she doesn't call back. The last time she called, is a mon...
A. 7 October 2009: Yes, not having a calling card does sound like a lame excuse. And if she doesn't even email or chat with you, then she is probably losing interest. Unless her computer access is suddenly gone. And if that was the case, she should have been ... (read in full...)
Is being attracted to a different race wrong?
Q. im 13 and i wondering if youre this race and your more attracted to a different race, is it wrong? like a chinease but im latino. help...
A. 7 October 2009: No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all! Where did you get the idea that it is wrong in the first place? Don't wonder another minute! You're more than ok! Haven't you seen all the interracial couples walking around?... (read in full...)
I caught him watching porn again despite him telling me he quit! Should I leave?
Q. I am 26 yrs old, im latina, most of my friends says im a vey pretty women, i am living with my bf, he is from usa, i love him so much, i left everything to be with him (my family, friends, job) . the fist time i caught him watching porn was bec...
A. 7 October 2009: If he likes to watch porn, I don't think he will ever stop. You need to either accept that, or move on. Watching pornography is not like cheating, which is why he will probably continue to do it behind your back, as long as you don't find out. A ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to propose?
Q. I am 22 years old and i have been in a relationship with my 25 boyfriend for almost 5years what can i do to try and get him to propose. we always talk about the future, but i dont think that he is going to propose at least no tome in the near ...
A. 7 October 2009: If you're ready for a proposal, then propose to him! If he accepts your proposal, then lo and behold you are engaged. But if he hesitates, or flat out declines... then you can find out why.... (read in full...)
We had an argument, and he's threatening to go back to cutting. Help!
Q. Please help me.. My boyfriend and I have a strong relationship, and I love him to death. He is kinda half-emo, and he's cut himself before. I don't want it to happen again.. We got in an argument and he's threatening to cut himself this Fri...
A. 7 October 2009: You're telling me that he is going to cut himself and he actually has the date planned out ahead of time, and he is threatening you with this?! I have never cut, so this whole concept sounds really foreign to me, but there is something fishy about ... (read in full...)
He's accepted a job that will keep him away from home for 4 weeks at a time; I'm afraid he'll look at porn while he's gone
Q. My husband recently accepted a job (without my opinion) that will keep him away for 30 days at a time versus coming home every 2 weeks as he did before. He works on a riverboat with men only and with this new job, I will only see him for a total of ...
A. 7 October 2009: Your issue is not whether he will look at nudie magazines while away from you. Your real issue is whether or not you want to stay in a marriage where you barely ever get to see your husband, and your husband is not willing to give up the job that ... (read in full...)
I can't get over his dirty magazine habits!
Q. Hi All, i cant believe im am writing and asking for advice, ive always been the one giving out advice and never needed any before. I am one of these that tackle any problems i have had in my life and then just get on with it. But im at a loose en...
A. 6 October 2009: I think you should stop worrying about this. You are probably shocked because in your mind you had this notion that porn is bad and always thought that your husband was not one of those men that looks at porn. He probably kept it from you all ... (read in full...)
He says he's going to cheat on me - should I chase after him?
Q. to make a long story short, me and my bf of 3months have been fighting lately because he tells me hes going to go chill with other girls and cheat on me and stuff and i get pissed and he gets mad and says im insecure. so now he said he needs to ...
A. 6 October 2009: It is unacceptable for him to tell you that he's going to cheat on you and then expect you to stay in the relationship. If the one I'm with told me he is going to cheat on me, I would be packing that same day. Seriously. That is a colossally ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I like being fat?
Q. I used to be very skinny. When I was a teenager and went on holiday I would eat and drink loads and not gain weight. Sometimes I would lose weight. Over the past couple of years this has stopped. A couple of years ago I took a year off from wo...
A. 6 October 2009: No, I don't think it would be weird to like being fat, if by "fat" you mean heavier than before but still a normal weight. If you were a stick before, and have gained a lot of weight it is very possible that now you are curvy and attractive. ... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 5 October 2009: It seems like you are still trying to get over the first girl. You said that you were in love with her so much that it hurt. I don't think you are purposely looking for a hurtful relationship, I think you just need to get over her. Just keep ... (read in full...)
My teenage daughters found my husband's porn and our sex life has been replaced with his fetishes!
Q. After 18 years of marriage my daughters found my husband's porn on his computer, they were thirteen and fifteen. They informed me because they did'nt know what else to do. A few weeks later I was checking why insulation was on the floor and found ...
A. 5 October 2009: My two cents is that as long as he is not cheating on you, let him have his thing whatever that is! However, if it is interfering with your sex life together, then he needs curb how much he does it. One thing that does make me wonder, though, is ... (read in full...)
I want him so badly
Q. My best friend has a girlfriend but I sometimes feel that he's sick of her and he's flirting with me. Sometimes he tells me that he loves her alot, anyway I love him so much and I can't get over him. I don't know what i'm going do but all I know is ...
A. 5 October 2009: Don't ruin your friendship. Don't tell him anything now. But, since he is your best friend, you should ask him for advice on how to attract a certain guy that you are interested in! :) This accomplishes two things. One, if he has any feelings ... (read in full...)
Alone and pregnant while the father of the baby is out drinking every weekend sleeping with other women!
Q. Im ten weeks pregnant. Im not in a relationship with the father, I was seeing him for a short while but it was never serious. However, he is happy about it and says he will support me and the child. I know he will be a good dad. The only thing that ...
A. 5 October 2009: Ok, he is not in a relationship with you so he can do whatever he wants, and you are going to have to suck it up and live with it. However, it is in your best interest to maintain diplomacy between you and him because he is the father and you are ... (read in full...)
How likely is it that he will stop wanting to see me because I need to lose a few pounds?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 2.5 months. Last night I was at his house and we were messing around and he started to undress me. Just before we started dating I gained about 10 lbs, and even though I know my weight/body is average, I'm very ...
A. 5 October 2009: So did this guy actually do or say anything to make you feel like he's not into you anymore? Or are you just afraid that he isn't? And let me put it to you in another way... if ten pounds of weight is what stands between him and you, then good ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that I am 14 weeks pregnant? I'm only 15!
Q. Hi,its been 4 months since my last period which is 1 month longer than normal. I can't wait for a missed period because of the months between them,so I don't have an exact date to work with. If I was pregnant I would be 14 weeks and 2 days preg...
A. 5 October 2009: A pregnancy test is what you need to do first and foremost. If it comes back positive, then you need to tell your parents and go to the doctor to make sure you and the baby are staying healthy. Do not delay. Also if you ARE pregnant, make sure ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to put some excitement back into our love life?
Q. Hi Ive been with my partner for about 14 months now, we live a fair distance away so we mainly spend weekends and holidays together though we are looking to move in together soon. Thing is, we get on fine, but our sex life just seems flat now...
A. 5 October 2009: Hmmm... that doesn't sound right, for a woman to not even be able to masturbate successfully. Regardless of how young she is, (I am assuming she is at least 18). The first thing that she needs to work on then, in this case, is to successfully ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to put some excitement back into our love life?
Q. Hi Ive been with my partner for about 14 months now, we live a fair distance away so we mainly spend weekends and holidays together though we are looking to move in together soon. Thing is, we get on fine, but our sex life just seems flat now...
A. 5 October 2009: Things to think about...
Is she under a lot of stress lately? That can definitely put a damper on a woman's sexual desire.
Have you tried having sex in different places, not just in the same place same bed everytime? Not just different rooms of... (read in full...)
I suffer from bouts of jealousy and insecurity - how can I overcome it?
Q. I need some points of view! I suffer from spouts of jealousy...always have really...and I can't deal with them very well...it's taken control of my life. For instance, if my husband and I are at the video store choosing a film, it has to be one w...
A. 5 October 2009: http://www.excelatlife.com/your_jealousy.htm... (read in full...)
She just won't talk!!
Q. I've been with my girl for a year now and I am so frustrated. The intimacy was great for the first of our relationship but has now gone completely absent on her end. I started noticing it about 4 months into it but did not think anything of it be...
A. 5 October 2009: Ok, ultimatum time. She either tells you straight up and in detail what is bothering her, so you can start to work on it together, or else you need to part ways. If she is not willing to collaborate with you so you can have a healthy relationship ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to go farther than I want
Q. my boyfriend wants more then just kissing..he gave me a hickey i didnt want it.... he is making me feel uncomfortable by touching me!!! and i told him to stop and he yells and says its like we are just friends nothing more... and he has slaped me ...
A. 5 October 2009: Ok, the part about him slapping you. Stop right there. There is nothing else about your question that even needs to be addressed. Get rid of this scumbag! And when you find a decent guy that won't slap you, he will not be the type to force you ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my girlfriend about her behaviour with other men or just believe that she is telling the truth?
Q. i always find my girlfriend in the act of relating with men claiming she's got nothing intimate with them and it hurts. what if she's telling these guys that i am just a figure around her that i pose no threat at all? I'm confused and wondering if i ...
A. 5 October 2009: "she left me in her apartment and went enjoying herself with this guy for about 5 hours!" AND YOU'RE STILL WITH HER AFTER SHE DID THIS?! Dump her immediately!... (read in full...)
I need advice about proceeding with my marriage plans.
Q. Dear Cupid: I have a dilemma. I recently got engaged to someone who I have been involved with for two years. To be honest, the person was involved in another relationship for a number of years when we got together but last year, things were ove...
A. 5 October 2009: "I am upset about what happened but we both feel this incident was not worth giving up a lifetime of love and happiness over a mistake." That's like saying, I am upset that he dropped an anvil on my head, but I should overlook it and keep going. ... (read in full...)
Should I marry him or not?
Q. i had a 2 years relationship wd my bf...well,i've always been waiting for him to propose and whenever i brought up the subject to him he'd say to me he aint ready and that used to tear my heart apart...well,lately he surprised me by proposing to me ...
A. 5 October 2009: Well, the fact that you are uneasy about this relationship, is reason enough not to get married yet. You guys sound like you need to spend more time communicating with each other, and learn each other's deepest desires and fears, before you move ... (read in full...)
Suggestions on a hateful daughter?
Q. I have a daughter age 36, she is has become so hateful, mean and arrogant and eccentric I don't even know who she is anymore. Over the past 10 yrs she has taken Zoloft and I truly believe it is changing her personality. She explodes in anger for ...
A. 5 October 2009: Ok, the first thing you need to keep in mind as you are dealing with this is to not feel guilty, no matter how guilty your daughter tries to make you feel. She obviously has a psychological problem, and it is HER problem, not your problem, so don't ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has fallen in love with a gay chick in jail! What do I do?
Q. my girlfriend is pregnant with my baby. she went to jail and she has fallin in love with a 40 year old gay chick in jail. now she says she is going to raise my baby with her when she gets out. what should i do?...
A. 5 October 2009: No one ever goes through life thinking that one day they may have to ask someone for advice about their girlfriend falling in love with a gay chick in jail! It seems almost surreal, doesn't it? But so is life, expected the unexpected. ... (read in full...)
How do I prepare myself for anal sex?
Q. Well i wanna have anal sex but im scared to.... Ive tried b4 but i think with just the little that the head has gone in it riped the sides and now every time i use the rr i sorta bleed but im scared more of the way it feels when the whole penis goes ...
A. 5 October 2009: Ok, I don't want to scare you, I personally find anal sex immensely painful. Other women, however, have found a way to like it or at least tolerate it.. If I had to give you advice here is what it would be... 1) LOTS AND LOTS OF LUBE. As much lu... (read in full...)
Am I too boring? Is this why guys don't like me?
Q. I am a bit confused. I am almost 20 and i have yet to go on a date. I also have never held hands, hugged, or even kissed a guy before. I consider myself to be fairly attractive...kind of plain. I'm what most people would consider to be a goody ...
A. 5 October 2009: Don't ever give up the good lifestyle and the morals that you have established in your life, just so that guys will find you more approachable. Those kinds of guys, they're not the kinds of guys you would want approaching you anyway. If you want ... (read in full...)
Dating 2 and a half weeks, he's tried every single time to have sex!
Q. This guy and I have been dating for 2 and a half weeks. I really enjoy being with him. The problem is that he is trying to move to fast to the sex. He tried to sleep with me on the first date. I told him that I didn't sleep on first date. We hav...
A. 4 October 2009: Ok, let's cut to the point of all this. Do you want to have sex with him yet, or not yet? Is it against your moral conviction to have sex this early in a relationship, or is the only reason you're not having sex to test him to see how much of a ... (read in full...)
Is a blow job actually sex?
Q. im 13 and me and bf dont have sex but he fingers me and i gave him a blow job....is a blow job actually sex or do you have to put the penis in the vagina??? plz answer me soon!!!...
A. 4 October 2009: Most of the time that people say "we had sex" what they are trying to say is "we had vaginal intercourse" but of course people don't say it that way, the just say we had sex. But there are many types of "sexual activities" besides "vaginal ... (read in full...)
Was this rape? He's acting like nothing happened....
Q. Last night me and my bf were having sex he was behind me when he stuck his finger in my anus. He has done it b4 which i dont mind as it doesnt hurt me. B4 i continue weve always had this joke bout doing it up the bum. I always said i would never do ...
A. 4 October 2009: That is sick. Yes, that is rape. You clearly told him No, and screaming in pain, and he clearly continued anyway. Just because sexual activity was already in progress does not mean that this wasn't rape. Especially when he put your arms behind ... (read in full...)
Do I take my husband back?
Q. I have been separated for 2 years from my husband of 18 years due to his affair and how much hurt I endured from it all... We have recently been talking about how we could maybe get back together to make it work again.... My parents and brother and ...
A. 3 October 2009: Your family cannot be an influencing factor in your decision. You need to take your family out of your decision. Then there are only two factors left to consider, two opposing factors. On the one hand, you have been together 18 years, on the ... (read in full...)
He cheated... whats best for me?
Q. Ive dated this man for 19 months now. When we first started dating, after a month I found out that he was sneaking around with a married woman twenty years younger than him. It didnt bother me too much because I did just meet him and wasnt looking ...
A. 3 October 2009: You should not have to feel that you need to use a condom after this long in a supposedly committed relationship. That is beyond ridiculous. He is obviously not trustworthy, and not worth your time.... (read in full...)
She broke up with me and refused to give me a clear answer.
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me and refused to speak to me in person or even give me a logical reason behind her decision. We are both in our late 30's and have had many relationships before this one. When I met my ex, she was divorced for ove...
A. 3 October 2009: In my shoes, an open relationship is not a good platform for strong attachment. I could never be in an open relationship, I would be much too jealous. To me that would have been the first warning sign for you, the open relationship agreement. ... (read in full...)
Caught my b/f with vibrator! What do I do now?
Q. I got out of work early and thought I would surprise my b/f I been dating for a year now by showing up at his apartment last Sunday afternoon. I have a key so I let myself in. I didn't think he was home because the house was quiet. I went to his ...
A. 3 October 2009: Well, the fake vagina I wouldn't worry about. The thing up his behind does make me wonder, unless he's just trying to stimulate his prostate or something. Give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume that everything he was doing to himself was of ... (read in full...)
Why does he want to sleep with me now that he's married?
Q. Dear All, I have a problem 14 years ago I was in love and thought I had meet the man who would one day make me his wife. We spent 5 years together and had a child, both of us being young and all we made some stupid choose cheating etc.... The ...
A. 3 October 2009: This man sounds like a scoundrel. There is no reason to be confused. He is just a rotten scoundrel. I know it is difficult for you to see him in that light because you were together five years and had a child together, but from everything you ... (read in full...)
My husband slept with my sister! How do I forgive and forget?
Q. so i have a question can you ever get over and forgive your husband of 7 and a half years with 5 kids for cheating on you with your sister ? With u and his baby in the same room sleeping. and then not telling u all the story. Telling you bits and ...
A. 3 October 2009: No. You should not forgive him. Could you ever imagine cheating on your husband, just because you're drunk? If you can say yes to that question then maybe you should try to work it out. Personally, my conviction toward my husband is strong ... (read in full...)
I'm now no better than my cheating husband. I need your help! What should I do?
Q. I don't know what category this comes under, to say my life feels like a mess right now, would be an understatement. I'm desperate for advice or words of wisdom. Have been married fifteen years now and it all started about two years ago, when ...
A. 3 October 2009: There is nothing left to salvage here. Start moving on. I think you already knew that. You said "I believe my marriage is over." But even if you had not said that I would have told you the same thing: there is nothing left to salvage in this ... (read in full...)
I feel so worthless. How can I become a more posititve person and happy with what I have?
Q. I hate my body and myself. I hate my body because I have small boobs, which look really ridiculous with my huge thighs. I'm slim, actually my BMI is ok, but I'm still so flabby and no matter how much I diet and exercise I just can't get rid of my ...
A. 2 October 2009: If your BMI is ok then I highly doubt that you are ugly. You may not be THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, but most people are not! There is nothing wrong with being average looking! Especially if you have a good personality. If you think you are not ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my girlfriend about her behaviour with other men or just believe that she is telling the truth?
Q. i always find my girlfriend in the act of relating with men claiming she's got nothing intimate with them and it hurts. what if she's telling these guys that i am just a figure around her that i pose no threat at all? I'm confused and wondering if i ...
A. 1 October 2009: How exactly is she relating to these other men? This is an important detail. Who are these men and what does she do with them? ... (read in full...)
I need advice about proceeding with my marriage plans.
Q. Dear Cupid: I have a dilemma. I recently got engaged to someone who I have been involved with for two years. To be honest, the person was involved in another relationship for a number of years when we got together but last year, things were ove...
A. 8 September 2009: "My best friend told me to break off the engagment and not trust my partner who cheated just one week after our engagement, but I am deeply in love" ..... Ok.... 1) Stop being deeply in love with this jerk, and 2) Listen to your best friend.... oh, ... (read in full...)
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