Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GFOK  +, writes (1 August 2010):
Sometimes it's hard to get these things out of our heads. I would suggest having as much sex and other affection with her as possible. Remember that you are desirable also and she is no better than you for having more experience - it might be that she gave in to weakness, and she's all the worse for it. All I can say is TRY to purge these feelings through distraction.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): OH MY GOD! HAS THIS WORLD GONE MAD? This girl was and is entitled to do whatever she darn well likes, and just because she had sex with someone else BEFORE you got together does not give you the right to shag someone else!Her having sex before she met you IS NOT cheating. So what if shes not a virgin. You never know, if you two turn out to be a great catch, she may even end up wishing that she wished she had waited for 'the one' ie: YOUBut I bet if she knew about your plan, she'd dump you right away! Go on, I dare you, tell her!
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A
male
reader, AdamPayseno  +, writes (23 April 2007):
 It's natural to feel a little insecure about the fact that she has had sex before you.. But I doubt you have anything to be worried about.. Cheating on her won't solve anything.. I suggest talking to her about it, telling her that your a little intimidated about it.
Why should you get 'revenge' for her past?
You didn't even know her then..
Don't get angry... Get upset, In her arms.
You will get better results.
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A
female
reader, Keria +, writes (20 April 2007):
You also shouldn't be asking your girlfriend about her sexual past. It doesn't matter. If you are insecure about it, and you get another girlfriend, don't ask her either.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 April 2007):
 I agree with the rabbit. Your only choice is to date virgins or women who can keep their mouths shut about their sexual history. Happy hunting.
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A
female
reader, Keria +, writes (20 April 2007):
Thank you for your clarification.
You need to accept that you do not own her. You do own yourself, but no one else. What she has done is her own business. But hey, she's with YOU now! Think about that. She wants to be with YOU! Be happy that you can take this woman who is experienced, and enjoy her sexually. She's not thinking about the guys she's been with before when she's having sex with you. She's only thinking about you. So you just think about her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): Through my perspective, you can't change your mentality for this person. I do not know where the source of your desire to cheat on her comes from, despite what you have said here, but I have a hunch that what you need is someone who was celibate. So since you're asking how you can get rid of this feeling, I think if you don't even know that yourself, then the next most prudent thing to do is leave your current gf and go for someone who is a virgin.
What do you think? I have a feeling you might disagree. Then please, if you do disagree, what type of advice would you give someone who is asking the same question?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOnce again i note that the purpose of the post was how to deal with the feeling. Not whether I should do it or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): How immature!! Your girlfriend had sex before she even met you and you’re angry about this!! I think you need to do some growing up!!
First of all your girlfriend decided to have sex with another person before she met you, this is normal!! Most people in relationships have slept with other people prior to meeting there current partner. It’s something that you have to deal with and accept.
You are well out of order for thinking of cheating on her when she's done nothing AT ALL wrong!! I think she deservers better!!! You in the mean time need to grow up and stop being perthetic!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): Has it occurred to you that she may actually chosen to have sex? She didn't know she was going to meet you. Give her a chance and yourself otherwise this relationship is doomed. If you love someone, set them free. Let them be who they are. Are you going to judge your children for every choice/mistake they make (even if you aren't with her?) You can't. Otherwise you will be seen as a pretty mis-understood and unpleasant person to be around.
Stop thinking an eye is for an eye and it makes everything even. She may actually love you and be totally devastated if you A.) cheated on her B.) that you thought to do this in the first place...how can you ever respect yourself or her or your choices together, or how do you expect her to accept your choices or opinions if you do this...this is just not fair. Just be grateful of who this girl is...she trusted you enough to tell you or accept her even if you didn't get the information from her directly. You will feel awful cheating on her and it won't make you feel you've won. It will just make you feel how you look at her at the moment, which is with disrespect.
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (18 April 2007):
I think you need to understand something a bit more about why you're having what you have acknowledged to be a silly feeling.
Are you scared about relationships?
Relationships often trip up with issues relating to power and control - are you feeling out of control or disempowered somehow?
Have you got some feelings of inadequacy?
Maybe it's worth you having a little bit of counselling to work out what's going on in your head.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (18 April 2007):
 This is not the way to go. Its not like she slept with them while she was in a relationship with you. It would be a huge mistake to cheat on her and could/will jeopodise you relationship.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs an added note, the point of my question was how to get this thought out of my head.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): you need to get a grip mate it happened b4 you met her dont ruin things. forget about it and look to the future be happy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Dude! Do you hear yourself? She did it BEFORE she met you!!!!! Everybody has a past, if you're going to hold something like that against her then you may as well hang this relationship up now! You're trying to justify cheating on her because she was with someone prior to meeting you. That makes absolutely no sense. Maybe you should grow up a little bit before having a committed relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Are you for real,whatever she did before you is past history and hers not yours,why does it make you feel like cheating and get even for what,for a life she had before you.stop and seriously consider the cost of what you feel you need to do,it will most probably cost you your relationship is that what you want,to loose your g/f.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): That would be SO wrong for you to cheat on her. She can't change her past!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Just forget about ur girlfriends past and more about ur relationships future!Cus if u carry on cheating on her u may not have a future.
Hope this helps!x
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