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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am extremely sensitive when it comes to values. If i have done or achieved something based on a lie, i become quite disturbed untill i tell the truth. If not, i constantly live in the fear of getting caught some day for the lie and this is fear is pretty heavy. In modern times though, how much sensible is it being honest? I have had bad experiences and good so far trying to be honest. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 9 times out of 10 the answer is yes, honesty is always the best policy, especially in relationships but also in life. However, let's be honest about honesty. 'White' lies especially get told an awful lot of the time. Also, sometimes in the early stages of a relationship honesty is not always rewarded. I, for example, am quite a full-on and intense person and often honesty about how I feel can be counterproductive so I kind of see the question askers point.
Honesty is not always rewarded and to say it is is not to tell an entire truth. Sometimes it is flat-out punished. You have to remember that total honesty is an ideal, something we should strive for but realistically are going to sometimes fall short of. Having said that...ye...strive for honesty, it is ultimately the best policy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): Another thing, the more honest i have been trying to become, the lesser and lesser i am being confident. I believe there is big gap between the way the world works outside and the way i want to position myself in it. So despite of being open and honest, not many people welcome this and may consider it to be my weakness and might want to keep me at a distance from their own comfort zone of way they see things in life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): I have asked this question mainly because being honest does provide me that inner strength. But in the world outside, I am considered a challenge. Not only that, I have felt a group of people who would celebrate to see me fail or fall down as I am going against the storms. And this is getting heavy on my head. In practical adult life, I understand a little bit of lying is necessary, but here it is like finding a needle in a bunch of grass to get to the truth. Most of the people I see or meet spend their lives on one lie or the other. And they take great pride in that as well, that is what is disgusting for me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a liar, if you betray someones trust, then there is nothing lower. I have been there and done that. I have been on both sides of the fence. If you are honest, your honesty will always be rewarded and you will be rewarded even if you just feel rewarded in being happy in yourself.
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (15 March 2007):
You should do your best never to lie, particularly for the reason you mentioned - which is that it feels bad and is hard work.
"What a web of lies we weave when we practice to deceive". Sometimes you have to keep on lying when you lie and can't always remember where you are with your lies.
There are times for "white lies" that is to say, being nice to people - e.g. if someone says "are they fat?" and they are, you have to judge how they will feel right now and why they are asking etc. It is sometimes kind to say that they are a little rounded but they look warm and kindly, or something. If they are about to do a big presentation, then you say they look great.
If you have done something terrible, like been unfaithful to a partner, and you realise you made a mistake and want the relationship to continue, sometimes you might have to keep the truth to yourself - as a kind of punishment for your behaviour - because to reveal it would make you feel better but hurt your partner, and that's not nice.
Lying to achieve things is cheating, and what enjoyment is there in that? E.g. if you're playing Trivial Pursuits and you look at the answers but lie and say you haven't, what joy is there in winning?
Why have you really asked this question?
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