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... Send *eenthere a private message | | | *eenthere's profile:Hi. I am 25. I am mum to 2 boys. I've been through a lot of things someone my age shouldn't have been through and certainly not as often. I use the name "beenthere" because, when answering relationship q's, I usually have been there or somewhere similar!
I am currently a full time mum to my boys and my 30 year old fiance!:)
The url there is the link to my poetry blog. Appreciate comments from anyone interested! |
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My partner seems to think that just going to work is enough of a contribution to his family...
Q. My relationship is in serious need of repair but I just can't seem to find any way of beginning. My partner is more attracted to the computer than me. I am full time mum and housewife. My partner behaves like a teenager, believes he shouldn't have ...
A. 31 March 2006: Well I've told him again that I feel he replaced me with the computer and that I feel rejected with that and with him going out all the time. He doesn't seem to have taken any notice. He still doesn't see why he should do anything in the house ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on Sis's best friend, but I can't tell her!
Q. I really like my sister's best friend. I have kept this secret for 3 years. Every time she is round, I just want to kiss and tell her, but I can't. Please help me....
A. 6 February 2006: if you've felt that way for 3 years then it's time to do something about it! i got together with my bf when i was 23. he'd fancied me since i was 16 but always thought i was too young for him! are you close to your sis? maybe you could see how she ... (read in full...)
Is there something suspicious about my friend's text relationship? I'm worried about her...
Q. My friend has recently been texting this boy all the time and they have had a good texting relationship but when she asks if she can meet him, he says that "he does not want to rush into things". They have been texting for six months now and he has ...
A. 6 February 2006: this guy can't be that interested can he? 6 months of text only and he doesn't want to rush things? sounds like an excuse to me. tell your friend to forget about him and meet someone real!... (read in full...)
Is he always finding fault with me...
Q. Hi, I have been married for 2 years. My problem is that my husband is always finding fault with me. Even the smallest things are a major issue to him. And worst of all, he does not tell me abt his dissatisfaction but complains to my mum, brother ...
A. 6 February 2006: i'm guessing that he hasn't always been like this. my partner has always been pretty lazy but did things like washing occassionally. now he just expects me to do it! so i know how you must feel. he needs to know and appreciate how much you do for ... (read in full...)
Hate the fact that she's always talking to her ex. Is turnabout fair play?
Q. I am in a relationship for about 4 months now with a girl that got out of a 4 year relationship about 9 months before we started dating. I'm 22 and she is 20. She says she is over her ex but still talks to him and about him all the time on the ...
A. 4 February 2006: don't call your ex just to make her jealous. i still text my ex from time to time. i think my bf might be a bit jealous as he is a little insecure but i don't see anything wrong with being friends with someone. i'd never say i wouldn't be friends ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to choose between my sporting team and seeing him on Saturdays. I don't want to give up either one!
Q. I have recently started uni. I have to stay away from home through the week. I go home at weekends and usually see my family and boyfriend (we have been together for over a year). He has basically told me that I have to give up the sport I play on ...
A. 4 February 2006: don't give up your sport. i used to do drama. i was in theatre companies for about 13 years. then, when my partner and i had been together for a few months, he expected me to give it up so we could spend more time together. i really regret my ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't sex be part of a long term relationship?
Q. I am in a gay relationship where there is no sexual activity at all. We have been together for nearly a year and my partner argues that I forced him into having sex with him last year when he didnt want to - which I accept as I have a high sex ...
A. 1 February 2006: active sex is not a must for any relationship but i do know how it feels when one of you has a high sex drive and the other feels it's not important. i say it's not a must but it should exist if you want it to. i didn't have sex with my partner for ... (read in full...)
My partner seems to think that just going to work is enough of a contribution to his family...
Q. My relationship is in serious need of repair but I just can't seem to find any way of beginning. My partner is more attracted to the computer than me. I am full time mum and housewife. My partner behaves like a teenager, believes he shouldn't have ...
A. 31 January 2006: our family wasn't really planned but i had a child already and my partner was willing to be a family with us. i have given him every chance to be as involved as he wants to be. he has started trying but he only wants to do "man" things. for example. ... (read in full...)
My partner seems to think that just going to work is enough of a contribution to his family...
Q. My relationship is in serious need of repair but I just can't seem to find any way of beginning. My partner is more attracted to the computer than me. I am full time mum and housewife. My partner behaves like a teenager, believes he shouldn't have ...
A. 31 January 2006: hey. just a quick update. i think, although i am not sure, that my partner has finally realised there are problems and that he needs to do something. he seems to be making an effort to improve the relationship. he still goes straight to the ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him as he doesn't want sex?
Q. Me and my husband have been married for one and a half years now, and for the past 3 months he has refused to have sex with me. He is pleasant and cuddles and sleeps in the same bed. But no sex? I am confused and very very sad. Should I leave him? ...
A. 31 January 2006: hi. what you say there sounds similar to the situation i've been in for a while. often my partner will hold me all night but turns away when i kiss him and chooses to look at porn instead of having sex with me even though we had sex as often as we ... (read in full...)
My wife sleeps on the couch and we haven't had sex in a year..what should I do?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3 years,she sleeps on the couch or with the grandson instead of with me, we haven't had sex in about a year,and before that average was every six months after first year. We don't do anything outside of the h...
A. 31 January 2006: if she is not prepared to work on the relationship then you are only left with one option. leave... (read in full...)
I am so unhappy that I drink alcohol and cheat on him..why can't I just leave him? Help.
Q. I am 22years old and have been in a relationship now for over 6years but have been unhappy for years. Ive tried dropping hints, didnt work. I told him, he promised that he would change and make me happy, which worked for a week, then he went back to ...
A. 31 January 2006: you have to tell him you don't want to be with him. you are just allowing yourself to be unhappy and you will do the same to him. i know this is the corniest line ever but the longer you leave it, the harder it will be.... (read in full...)
My life here is boring-I feel like I am wasting my time. Any tips on how to have more fun?
Q. I am really bored with my life, there is absolutely nothing to do where I live, apart from school. Don't get me wrong, I am happy, I am not depressed, but I cannot help but feel like I should do something with my life. I feel like I am a wasting ...
A. 30 January 2006: hey. i know how you feel and i left school 9 years ago! it is frustrating feeling like there's nothing to do but i do agree with anonymous up there. young teenagers do get restless and tend to find everything bores them. it may just be a phase. but ... (read in full...)
I feel terrible about my past bad choices, and thinking about what I've done hurts my wife, too!
Q. I hope we can get some help here. I am married about 6 months. We are in our fortys and in our second marriages. We are sure we are perfect for each other in all ways. Our problems stem from my past before marriage about 20 years ago. I lived fo...
A. 30 January 2006: your wife seems to have the problem here. if she already knew about your past then she should either accept it and get over it, or not have married you in the first place. you are right, you can't change your past and no matter what you do, you ... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy outside my race, even though my family would be opposed?
Q. Dear Reader, I have meet this guy, (very nice) and he has asked me out and taken my number. There is only one slight problem that I am not so sure of, he is black. It's not that I have anything against black people but my family does not agree w...
A. 30 January 2006: your family are racist. there is nothing wrong with mixed race couples. if he's nice and he's going to treat you right then go for it.... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and ready for a baby...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year. He is 20 and I am 16. It's a great relationship and I really love him. He was a family friend before and the feelings grew for us over ages - we never acted on them because the age difference ...
A. 30 January 2006: 16 is very young to have a baby no matter how mature you are. you don't want to regret it in later life because of the limits and restrictions having a child can bring with it. certainly don't try before you move in with your bf. you need to know ... (read in full...)
My wife sleeps on the couch and we haven't had sex in a year..what should I do?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3 years,she sleeps on the couch or with the grandson instead of with me, we haven't had sex in about a year,and before that average was every six months after first year. We don't do anything outside of the h...
A. 30 January 2006: hi. i don't know if you've had the advice you need but i'd just like to say i feel sympathy for you. my partner and i didn't have sex for a full year because HE didn't want to. it turned out that he had replaced me with porn and had visited dating ... (read in full...)
Calling all "toyboys"... Your views are needed!
Q. Hi! I know there is no definitive answer to this question but I'd appreciate some 'toyboys' responses to this one - what is that you 'toyboy's, for want of a better word, love about your older women? What is it about older women that you find ...
A. 30 January 2006: i am neither a toy boy or an older woman. just thought i'd give you another perspective on this. my partner is 5 years older than me but prefers older women. i have noticed that they don't even have to be attractive. just older. in fact, i've ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him as he doesn't want sex?
Q. Me and my husband have been married for one and a half years now, and for the past 3 months he has refused to have sex with me. He is pleasant and cuddles and sleeps in the same bed. But no sex? I am confused and very very sad. Should I leave him? ...
A. 30 January 2006: i have the same problem with my partner. does your husband show affection in other ways? my partner replaced me with porn even though i gave him no reason to think i didn't want sex. i'm not saying this is what your husband has done but it is a ... (read in full...)
We're "too old" to hold hands, he doesn't help clean, he doesn't cook. It's like living with a lodger!
Q. I am in a long term relationship of almost 11 years, I love the guy very much, more than I can actually put into words. When we first met, the relationship was really great, over the last couple of years, he just won't do anything. He works ni...
A. 29 January 2006: i totally agree with that. My 2 year relationship has been like that for a while and i'm only 25! men allow themselves to get into the chauvenist mindset at some point in their life but i think women help to allow this to happen. he needs to know ... (read in full...)
I made the awful mistake of recreating the same situation where she was pressured into first-time sex! Can I save this?
Q. Today my girlfrind of approximately 10 months has decided we need a break for a week. (At the moment we can only see each other on weekends anyway as it's uni holidays and we live in different towns). She says she is very confused at the moment and ...
A. 29 January 2006: you didn't mean for things to happen this way. she should have calmed down at the end of the week but i'd suggest you wait a while for her to call. if she doesn't, then you should call her, even if it's just to find out the situation. i wouldn't ... (read in full...)
He never rings me or makes an effort to see me. So, we're on a break. Meanwhile, I've found someone else...
Q. Hi, well I have a bit of a dilemma! Im 16,and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me around 5 months ago. Now I thought I was doing great trying to get over him, even though he got a new girlfriend 2 weeks after we split up. Since then I've sta...
A. 22 January 2006: i agree. i'm in a similar relationship right now and, due to circumstances, it's hard for me to find a way out. you don't want someone who is always with his friends and not you. this other guy is making an effort. give him the chance he deserves ... (read in full...)
Torn between love of my life and love for my son... B
Q. I have been married for 12 years and then one day, I got an email from the real love of my life that had broken down 15 years earlier. I won't get into why it did not work out then other than to say we were young (early 20's) and careers and ...
A. 22 January 2006: The first thing for you to do is to talk things over with your wife. be completely honest with her. your son will suffer more in a loveless family than if you leave your wife. then you can think about whether this other woman really is the love of ... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm sensitive enough for sex
Q. i dont think my clitoris is sensative? i have no pleasure from it either byself of a male. the only time i actually enjoy sex is when things are inserted inside me? do i need to get this checked out as my sex life is so poor because of it....
A. 22 January 2006: i think this is quite normally. different people are stimulated in different ways. if it's really causing problems for you then you may be able to get advice from a gp... (read in full...)
Is it illegal for me (aged 18) to go out with a 15-year-old girl?
Q. I am an 18 year old male and I have been friends with a 15 year old girl. We now have relationship feelings for each other. Is this illegal if we did go out? Or would it be illegal only if we had sexual contact?...
A. 1 January 2006: I don't think there's actually any law anywhere about going out with a minor, only about having sex. most places the age of consent is 16 but check that out. as long as you're not getting to that stage yet then you are not breaking any law... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my partner is more interested in porn than me!
Q. hi, i dont know if im wirtting to the right people but if so could you please help.
Im a 20yr old women and ive been with my partner for almost a year.I just recently found that i was pregnant which was most unexpected but as i was in the late...
A. 1 January 2006: you need to really explain how much it's hurting you. my partner seemed to replace me with porn just before we found out i was pregnant but now the baby is 7 months old and my partner still seems to have no interest in sex with me so you aree not on ... (read in full...)
Eighteen years of petty lies from my wife
Q. I have been married to my wife for eighteen years. She is a cancer survivor and mother of our one and only child, a sixteen year old boy. She is collecting disability as her immune system is somewhat compromised due to a bone marrow transplant she ...
A. 1 January 2006: go to counselling on your own. she sounds really horrible. i have an idea of how you feel as my partner does things that really hurt me and carries on without apologising. some people just do that and i don't know why but if you can't talk to her, ... (read in full...)
Dumped after 5 years, I want my ex back! But he wants to have fun and sleep with other people...
Q. Me and my ex boyfriend met 5 years ago through a club we both attend. We started dating nearly 2 years ago. Although I am 18 he was my first boyfriend. It wasn't a fantastic relationship; we argued quite a bit, which was my fault. He broke up with ...
A. 1 January 2006: If he wants to mess around with other people then he doesn't want a relationship. Maybe you could avoid going anywhere you might see him for a little while. He's not worth bothering with. You're still young so enjoy life and find someone who wants ... (read in full...)
After a fairybook romance of 3 years, he broke up with me. Then he told me he has herpes...
Q. I dated this guy for 3yrs. We did everything together. He took me to meet his friends (which I might say he has never done with anyone before me), bought me jewelry, introduced me as his girlfriend, met my daughter (promised me he wouldn't hurt us), ...
A. 1 January 2006: that's awful. how can he be in love with someone he only sees once a year. i'd guess he was seeing her before he was with you. did you put money or anything into setting up the house. you have done a lot for him and it sounds like he's just used you ... (read in full...)
My longtime boyfriend doesn't appreciate that I love him like no one else can!
Q. I have known this guy for 5 years. We dated throughout the 7th grade until now off and on. I am a freshman in college and he is still a senior in high school but we still talk. I need advice because I feel like he is losing interest in me now, lik...
A. 1 January 2006: You can't make him see anything but you seem to expect him to be a player which might make him think that you're not that interested. Find out how serious he is about you. You both need to concentrate on your studies and that can cause people to ... (read in full...)
She sent me an e-mail telling me to ask her out. So I did and she said No! Why did she do that?
Q. I am 12 years old and I fancy this girl from school. We email all the time. I asked her out and she said she'll think about it. Three weeks later she said no. I got an e-mail saying 'Ask me out' so I did and she said 'no'. Why would it take ...
A. 27 December 2005: you are only 12. kids play games. she probably did it just to see if you would ask. maybe she thought you fancied her and just wanted to know for sure. it's possible that she thought she wanted to go out with you then changed her mind but that's not ... (read in full...)
My husband and my mother just don't get on
Q. I recently took a trip with my husband to visit our families and everything was perfect until we went to my families house. No matter what we did my husband and mother could not get along. My husband feels like I ignore him when I visit my mom but ...
A. 27 December 2005: this is not unusual. my partner does his best to avoid my parents but then they only ever have negative things to say about him. saying that, he is not prepared to make any effort. you need to tell your husband that your mother would be prepared to ... (read in full...)
We have a great sex life but is it normal for him to watch his porn everyday?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. About a month ago we decided he would move in with me. We have a great sex life. We have sex almost every night and we talk and always try new things. I see nothing wrong with it. Recently I ...
A. 27 December 2005: personally i don't agree with porn in relationships st all but you say you're ok with it so that's a start. however i can not think of a good reason why any amn would want that when he has such a great sex life. i must suggest that you keep track of ... (read in full...)
Would it be better for me to have sex with another virgin, or with the girl who I'm in love with?
Q. Hi, I am 16 years old and just met this wonderful girl who I am in love with. However she does not seem to feel the same way. I am still a virgin and she rather prefers a sexual relationship. I know she slept with other men before and I w...
A. 27 December 2005: it would not be a good idea to have sex with someone else just because they are a virgin too. this girl might feel the same about you. if you love her and you really want to have sex then do it but be careful. does she know you are a virgin? i'm ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that I love him?
Q. Quite simply... i have been with my boyfriend for 8 months... how do i phrase to tell him i love him and in what way do i do it. I know he cares for me greatly. However in the past with guys when i've told them i love them its as if i've asked ...
A. 27 December 2005: well i'm not a guy but i know guys can get scared if you mention the L word. i tend to wait for them to say it to me. it's much harder for men to say it. maybe you could do something romantic. a nice meal or a walk in the park. if you can't wait ... (read in full...)
Why does he say I should be grateful?
Q. Hi, When I have a grievance against something my boyfriend has done or said, he'll say 'you could have it worse, you know. You could be with someone that lies to you and cheats on you.' He'll say that to just about anything I complain abou...
A. 27 December 2005: my partner has done that to me. he goes out almost every night and if i complain he tells me he could be worse and tells me about people who are worse. men tend to think they should be able to do exactly as they please and forget about their ... (read in full...)
I haven't changed, but the absence of sex makes me think I've become totally repulsive!
Q. Heya.... I'm just feeling a tad insecure. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 25. We have had an amazing sexual relationship since we started having sex..erm about 10 months, until recently. For the last 5 times of attempting to have sex he hasn't been abl...
A. 27 December 2005: i can't imagine that he would suddenly find you repulsive. he must have thought you were attractive in the first place and if you haven't changed then there is no reason why he should suddenly find you unattractive. i have a similar problem with my ... (read in full...)
How do I make things go back to the way they were?
Q. Hey...i just want people to tell me what they honestly think... I love my boyfriend so much (we're 26/25) and we have been together for 18 months. However over the last 2 months he hasn't made an effort to contact me...i am always the instigat...
A. 27 December 2005: you seem to have the same problem as me. i think men just get comfortable and start expecting you to run around after them. i've been with my partner for two years and for just over a year he has not been affectionate. try telling your boyfriend how ... (read in full...)
He slept with someone else before we were serious. I think that counts, but he doesn't!
Q. Help - I can't forget about something!! Me and my current boyfriend, Lee* were seeing each other before I left my ex, Paul*. I was mad about Lee from when we first met and it took us a long time to get together but in the end we did and now we're ...
A. 19 December 2005: it was still cheating if you were seeing each other but, saying that, you were cheating too. i'm not saying he was right to do it but you should not be hypocritical about it... (read in full...)
Not had any nookie since I got pregnant... Help!
Q. hi, my name is N i have been married for 3 years now and have recently given birth to my second child. My husband is a police officer and so he is constantly working and i feel we are drifting apart. I'm also concerned about our sex life, as we ...
A. 19 December 2005: blokes are very naive about this sort of thing. i did not have sex with my partner for a year. he seemed to go off me before he knew i was pregnant but then would barely touch me when he knew. the last time we had sex before the baby was born was ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is now miserable and I found a depressing text from him to his mom!
Q. I have been with my current boyfriend for over eleven months, we are both students and are in our final year. When we first got together we were so close and now we have a great friendship except at the moment little things seem to niggle at us and ...
A. 19 December 2005: the physical side of relationships does tend to dwindle after a while. it did with me and my partner but that was because he basically replaced me with a new computer but your situation seems that he's passed the excitement of a new relationship and ... (read in full...)
My husband is an online poker addict
Q. My Husband has a gambling Problem We have been married for almost a yearand have a 5 month old with him and I have a 5 year old, and did not know he gambles online. We are in alot of debt, and he has lied to me about him not getting a bouns,...
A. 19 December 2005: i know how you feel. my 2 children are of similar ages so i know the kind of costs you are having to meet for them. and my partner is addicted to the computer. you need to tell your husband that you will leave if he doesn't get help. it is an ... (read in full...)
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