Like what
she writes?
... Add *eenthere to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *eenthere a private message | | | *eenthere's profile:Hi. I am 25. I am mum to 2 boys. I've been through a lot of things someone my age shouldn't have been through and certainly not as often. I use the name "beenthere" because, when answering relationship q's, I usually have been there or somewhere similar!
I am currently a full time mum to my boys and my 30 year old fiance!:)
The url there is the link to my poetry blog. Appreciate comments from anyone interested! |
|
My husband is an online poker addict
Q. My Husband has a gambling Problem We have been married for almost a yearand have a 5 month old with him and I have a 5 year old, and did not know he gambles online. We are in alot of debt, and he has lied to me about him not getting a bouns,...
A. 19 December 2005: i know how you feel. my 2 children are of similar ages so i know the kind of costs you are having to meet for them. and my partner is addicted to the computer. you need to tell your husband that you will leave if he doesn't get help. it is an ... (read in full...)
He claims he was setting his friend up on a date...but was the girl on the phone really HIS date?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 7 months and I think he may be cheating on me. He's been text messaging a lot (with his friends, he claims) and the other night when his phone rang, he checked to see who it was before taking the call in ...
A. 19 December 2005: there is a really simple answer to this and that is that if he was telling the truth and the girl was a set up for a friend, he would have no reason to hide it from you... (read in full...)
My rocky relationship has gotten harder since my daughter was born.
Q. Since my baby was born 6 months ago my relationship with my partner has been under much strain. We've always had a rocky relationship but things usually resolve themselves. At the moment it is as if we are two parents cohabiting in the same home and ...
A. 19 December 2005: firstly you must remember that this is not about who you love more because your daughter must always come first. i have a 6 month old son myself and a difficult relationship so i can sympathise with what you are going through. let your man know you ... (read in full...)
Changed my mind about our Open relationship...
Q. me and my boyfriend decided to have an open relationship after a wonderful year together. i thought that i wanted to date other men but after a couple of dates i knew it wasnt the right thing for me. i have been hurt bad in the past real bad and it ...
A. 19 December 2005: open relationships are a bad idea. things like this usually happen where one partner, usually the man, is perfectly happy to know he can run around and see other women and the woman (usually) finds it uncomfortable and becomes jealous. you are ... (read in full...)
I want to think about a future with him, but he seems so vague...
Q. my mind is really battered with problems and i could really do with some > help on some matters adn would be grateful if you could send me some. > > I went on a residential course with an organisation in my area about five > months ago. I ha...
A. 19 December 2005: sounds to me as if you're right. yes you are too wrapped up in him to see that he is probably cheating. why does he still live with his ex? i have a feeling he's not going to make any real commitment to you. finish it now before you end up hurting ... (read in full...)
I want to talk out our problems, but my bf keeps his feelings to himself...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. I love him to bits but recently we've been arguing a lot more over silly little things. I'm 22 & he's a year younger. I want us to be happy again but not sure how to get it back! We are both volatile...
A. 19 December 2005: I recognise the situation as i'm going through the same thing with my partner of 2 years. there is not much you can do unless you get him to talk. see if you can sit him down. ask him if there's a problem. but make sure he knows you are thinking ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and he's 30, but we really connect. I want him to know it will work!
Q. I've been talking to a guy who I've known since May and it's starting to get more serious. He's great and I like him a lot, but the problem is that he's 14 years older than me. I know it seems like a lot, expecially since I'm 16, but we connect on ...
A. 19 December 2005: you've only known him since may so i would say that's not really long enough to commit to a relationship with anyone no matter what your age. if he's friends with your dad this could work two ways. either your dad will tell you he's too old for you ... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend's porn CD really just "something a friend had given him"?
Q. Hi, found some cds with porn on it and a dvd porn movie in my boyfriends office, i told him i did not like him looking at it and i found it hurtful and an insult, i asked him why he looks at it and was it becuase i am ugly or if i am boring in bed a...
A. 12 December 2005: whatever men say, it does upset girls to know they look at porn. it does make you question what's wrong with you even if you're the sexiest girl in the world. i honestly can't understand why men want porn if they have a girl who loves them. as i ... (read in full...)
Ok so he IS a goth AND shorter than me BUT we both like each other. That IS all that counts... Right!?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are different in a lot of ways. For instance I'm a girle-girl while hes a goth, I'm a year older than him, I'm a little taller than him...... then again does it really matter? We both like each other thats all that ...
A. 12 December 2005: as long as you like him the way he is and vice versa, where';s the problem?... (read in full...)
Totally devastated by discovery that my husband masturbates and fantasizes frequently! Guys: Why?
Q. My husband masturbates very frequently and fantasizes about other women or images while doing so. I just found this out and I am absolutely devastated. We had what I thought was a GREAT active and monogamous sex life for over 13 years. I have always ...
A. 12 December 2005: i have a similar problem with my partner although he actually pushes me away for porn. i know men and women have a different perspective but to me, if you are in a monogomous relationship, you shouldn't want anyone else. porn is sex outside of a ... (read in full...)
I want to stop competing with my bf...any good suggestions?
Q. Sometimes I feel like I'm competing with my bf when it comes to different things like who works more or who does the most exercise or who has to go through the hardest time...as dumb as it may sound, I can't help but feel like I have to one-up him ...
A. 12 December 2005: there must be a reason for this. is it because you feel you do more and he expects too much from you? that's normally the case in this situation. tell him how you feel. it may be psychological. something from your childhood. do you have ... (read in full...)
Things slowed down between us. Should I call her, or assume she'll call when she's ready?
Q. I'm in a bind. I was dating this girl all fall and out of nowhere things started to slow down. She says she still has feelings but we haven't been out in about 3 weeks. I will get an occasional email or text message. I reply and get my hopes up ...
A. 12 December 2005: she's still contacting you so when she texts you, call her and ask if there's something wrong. tell her you need to know if she's still interested... (read in full...)
I still hope to be with him...what can I do?
Q. Hi , it's weird cos I really don’t know where to start. But ill admit ive done a few wrong things. I am in love with a guy who considering the way he treats me does not deserve my love. Its been an on and off relationship for three years ...
A. 12 December 2005: don't do it. he is soooooooooooooooo not worth it. don't have anything to do with his friends either if you can help it. find someone nice... (read in full...)
We broke up and got back together again...but it's awkward between us, now.
Q. Last month my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because the distance between us had gone from 1 1/4 hours to just over 2 hours as i had moved to uni. Also he got a promotion at work which means him driving about 800miles a week and he felt he ...
A. 12 December 2005: there are things you need to think about and talk to him about here like why does he think it may be the wrong decision? in what way have things become awkward? can you change them? it may be worth having a bit of a cooling off time where you are ... (read in full...)
He's questioning our relationship because he wants to move...I want to stay put.
Q. my boyfriend is 30 years old and has never had a long term relationship before. We have had the perfect relationship for nearly a year and recently his sex drive has started to dwindle. He has now said completely out of the blue that he doesnt ...
A. 12 December 2005: is he questioning how you feel about him? australia is a long way to go and he should understand if you are not prepared to go. my partner is 29 and never really had a serious relationship before. we've been together 2 years but there are still ... (read in full...)
Sex is very painful for me and I am getting white spots. Is this normal?
Q. i am in a sexual and serious relationship. we have been having sex but it is too painfull for me! then i start geting white spots? is this normal? is starting to worrie us now!!!...
A. 12 December 2005: there is usually a reason for sex to be painful. i've not heard of getting white spots though. the best thing to do is to see a doctor or, if you prefer, a family planner. they should be able to put you in the right direction for treatment... (read in full...)
I really want to leave to be successful but will it work?
Q. Hi I need some advice. Please be patient. I need to explain some things for things to be clearer I'm 22, and I want to persue my dream of going overseas to work for a few months or a year, etc, but I want to go and experience things and learn...
A. 12 December 2005: i live in the uk and can tell you that you may find it dificult to be successful. i don't want to put you off though. if you have a lot of experience, you will find something. will your bf support you until you can support yourself? if he will then ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't tell me he'd been looking for work 3 hours away until he had the job!
Q. My boyfriend moved away from me 1 year ago. I am 22, he is 24. After he graduated from university, he applied for a job and got one 3 hours from where I live. We were living together and had been together a year before he left. I think I am still...
A. 12 December 2005: you are not being selfish. he is. he had no thought for you or the relationship when he left. let him know that he needs to find something closer if the relationship is to continue. long distance love can work but not permanently... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend distance himself from his ex?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a problem with my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. They split up 2 years ago, and he and I have been dating for 2 years (and living together). The problem is that it really bothers me that she is still in the picture (after she dumped h...
A. 12 December 2005: she obviously got close to his family and is now a family friend. maybe you should make a little more effort with his family. talk to them as well as him and remind them that he is with you now. especially with kids, it wouldn't be fair for you to ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I feel enough for her...
Q. i am with this girl undercover right now for the past 2 years, she has liked me for 8 years, before i just used her as a "booty call" but never had feelings for her, she was always around my and my friends, now i am really attached to her and i like ...
A. 12 December 2005: you know you have feelings for her. all you need to do is work on it. don't think about settling down if you're not ready... (read in full...)
Can you explain about bleeding when losing virginity?
Q. My girlfriend says i took her virginity away but she didnt bleed, she said her boyfriend masturbated her and she bleed, for some weird reason its tough to beleive, is that common? what do i do?...
A. 12 December 2005: some girls bleed the first time. others don't. it is perfectly normal that she bled if she was touched there for the first time. this may have 'popped' her, which is usually when a girl bleeds if she's going to.... (read in full...)
I'm white-she's black..we're engaged. My family is making me choose them or her! Can you help me?
Q. dear cupid, i am i white man engaged to a black woman i love her so much but my family is pretty much making me choose them or her can you help me?...
A. 12 December 2005: simple answer is choose her. however, find out if there's a valid reason for your family not to like her. if it's just the colour of her skin then explain to your family that you love this woman for who she is and they should try too... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 5 December 2005: porn is for perverts. any amount is too much when you are in a steady relationship. it breaks my heart when i know my partner wants to watch that filth. before he had access to the internet, we had a great sex life but now he pushes me away for it. ... (read in full...)
We've talked about marriage but he's so lazy and unmotivated.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He's 25, just graduated from college, and I'm 22, still in college. Most of our relationship he hasn't had a job. He lives off of his savings. He just lays around and goes fishing all ...
A. 5 December 2005: hi. it seems he's not really mature enough to make such decisions as getting married. i'm still waiting for my 30 year old fiancee to grow up and we've got 2 kids. however, you say he lives off savings. where did these savings come from? did he make ... (read in full...)
I think I've lost her, because things were moving "too fast"...
Q. I have been dating this girl for the last few months. Everything happened very fast, but it seemed mutual. We both have expressed how strong we feel for each other, but now she wants to slow things down. She still wants us to date, but take a ...
A. 23 November 2005: i don't think you've lost her. she probably just feels that you have moved too fast and needs to step back to make sure it is love and not lust. let her know you still want her. take things slowly again. make sure you are both really ready if things ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for sex!
Q. ok, i am 18 years old and my boyfriend is constanly pressuring me into having sex. i really love him and we have been together for 3 years, but im just not ready to become that intiment. what should i do?...
A. 23 November 2005: don't do it if your not ready. tell him it's no good pushing you because then if you go along with it, it will be because you felt you had to and that doesn't usually make for good sex. if he loves you, he'll wait. the more he pressures you, the ... (read in full...)
I think my bf is basically good, but he runs hot, then cold, then hot...
Q. I have this boyfriend. I really do like him and I can see the good in him. But I think he doesn't know what he wants. Because one day I'm his girlfriend and he is as sweet as can be towards me, then the next day he says he hates me and doesn't want ...
A. 14 November 2005: there's something odd going on here. is there a chance he could be suffering from depression? find out some facts about it. see if you notice other characteristics and if this is the case, he needs help before you can be together properly. if this ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why my boyfriend needs porn to have sex with me!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. Wwe have 2 children. The last 2 months every time we are going to have sex he puts on a porn film and I don't understand why. Becouse he gets hard when he kisses me. This is really making me...
A. 14 November 2005: i'm 25 and my bf of 2yrs does this to me so i know how much it must hurt. you need to tell him if he wants you, he only wants you and shouldn't need anyone else. if he wants more excitement in the bedroom tell him you can work on that with each ... (read in full...)
We're still newlyweds and the sex is already pretty much null and void!
Q. Me and my wife are happily married...However, our sex life is pretty much null and void. She was a virgin when we got married almost a year ago and it seems like we only have sex once every week or two. It also seems that it takes more time to try ...
A. 14 November 2005: you're lucky to get once a week! tell her how you feel. ask her why things have changed. there's no other way you can deal with this than to talk about it openly with her... (read in full...)
Crush on a visitor to my workplace. Don't know what to do about it!
Q. I am currently single and have developed a huge crush on a consultant who comes into my office regularly. We get on very well but I am too shy to enquire about his relationship status or to ask him out. Any tips?...
A. 14 November 2005: you get on well anyway so that's a good start. ask him to pop out with you at lunchtime or arrange a night out with work colleagues and include him. that way you'll have a chance to get to know him outside of work.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me and said he didn't love me any more after he caught me in a lie...
Q. I lied to my boyfriend. He found out and he has dumped me because I lied. And to make things go from bad to worse he told me that he didn't love me any more and that he was in love with someone else and that he loved her and was going out wth her. I...
A. 14 November 2005: it's understandable that he's messed up if you lied to him. there is nothing you can do but leave him be and learn from your mistakes... (read in full...)
All my girlfriend wants is to be alone. What did I do?
Q. Hi there, I'm with my girlfriend for the last 2 years but recently since August she has been acting very strange with me. She gets angry at me for no reason and gets irritated if I try to explain something to her. At times, if I say no for somethin...
A. 14 November 2005: it is possible for people to just fall out of love. that may be all. however you do need to find out if there's another reason. talk to her calmly. tell her you will understand but that you would just like to know if there's another reason for ... (read in full...)
How can I get my Albanian guy back into my country?
Q. I don't know where else to find help regarding my problem. I'm very confused at the moment, I'm English, my mother lives in Greece, where I met the most wonderful Albanian guy ever and we had the most wonderful summer together and fell in lov...
A. 14 November 2005: getting married to him would give him an advantage but would not give him automatic residency. he could search legally for work in england and once he's found something can apply to stay. he can apply as many times as he wants i think. he can also ... (read in full...)
He says that once my kids are grown, he'll leave his wife and we'll be together...
Q. I'm married with 3 children but for the last 2yrs I have been having an affair. He has a partner who is 25yrs older then him and he has noticed the age difference. They dont have sex anymore, so it's more of a platonic relationship. I have hinted t...
A. 14 November 2005: sounds like excuses to me. i know it's hard when families split but, certainly for my kids, my own happiness is important. you shouldn't compromise your own happiness. if he really wanted to be with you he'd tell his wife. it'll be worse for her and ... (read in full...)
I can be reasonable and calm with anyone except my mum!
Q. Hi! Hoping for some advice on how to stress down! Me and my mum are like chalk and cheese and rarely see eye to eye about anything! Since I've left university I've had to move back home for a year whilst I complete a course that I do at college....
A. 14 November 2005: i've always had the same problem with my dad. i know it's difficult but when your mum begins to wind you up, take deep breaths, talk calmly and if you can't stop yourself getting aggravated, walk away. try not to talk to her unless you really have ... (read in full...)
Why does he come on to me, then go all cold? And what's with all the game-playing?
Q. Hi, hoping for advice regarding a guy who's playing serious games with me! As regards one in a million ways that he plays me around, here is an example of what happened last night... saw him out and tried to ignore him, which didn't work as I fancy ...
A. 14 November 2005: this is definitely a game. he knows you like him and he's using that for fun. keep trying to ignore him. finds someone who really wants you. he's definitely not worth your time... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend hates me!
Q. I know my boyfriend from high school but after graduation he went to prison for 2 years. Before he went away he was so sweet and we were really good friends. Now that he is out, he is so mean to me. We have only been dating for 1 month and I feel ...
A. 14 November 2005: tell him you think prison has changed him and you want the person you thought he was before and you don't like being treated like this. i know how you feel because my bf of 2 years used to be really nice and totally into me all the time. now the ... (read in full...)
He hasn't learned not to mess around with other girls, and now he wants a 3rd chance...
Q. I was with my boyfriend for maybe about 1 month an a half but throughout the whole relationship it was nothing but him playing games with my head and us fighting all the time. It all started out in the beginning he cheated on me with on of my frien...
A. 14 November 2005: why did you give him a second chance? don't give him any more. he'll think he can carry on and you'll keep taking him back. stop right now before you get yourself into a vicious circle... (read in full...)
Can I trust what my husband tells me about his aunt?
Q. Long story, 2 quick questions. Can I trust him? And Is he cheating on me? My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years now. When I met my husband, he was living in his own house and his aunt lived with him. She has been all but disowned...
A. 14 November 2005: he may be hiding something but i don't think it's an affair. his aunt got him drunk and had sex with him when he was 15. my guess is that that wasn't all she's done. ask him to talk to you. he will feel very uncomfortable if he has been abused but ... (read in full...)
Just as our friendship is starting to tail off, I think I'm in love with her!
Q. I have this friend, and we've been friends for a long time now. We became really close and since the first day I met her I seemed to like her. She then moved away from town and we've kept in touch, and we're slowly losing contact, I barely talk to ...
A. 14 November 2005: she's already told you she doesn't feel the same. try and keep your friendship with her but admitting your feelings knowing she doesn't feel the same will push her away and make the friendship awkward
... (read in full...)
I made the right choice splitting from my ex... but I wonder what to do about my attraction to his best mate!
Q. I recently split up with my boyfriend of 2 years on good terms just after we had both started at University. We both felt too young to remain in a long-distance relationship, and both hope to remain friends despite the split as we have a lot of ...
A. 14 November 2005: make a move girl. you and your ex split mutually. he'll be pleased you found someone who will treat you right... (read in full...)
| *eenthere's friends
These are mutual friends, so *eenthere has
added them and they have added *eenthere!
|
