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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my husband have been married for one and a half years now, and for the past 3 months he has refused to have sex with me. He is pleasant and cuddles and sleeps in the same bed. But no sex? I am confused and very very sad. Should I leave him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (31 January 2006):
hi. what you say there sounds similar to the situation i've been in for a while. often my partner will hold me all night but turns away when i kiss him and chooses to look at porn instead of having sex with me even though we had sex as often as we could for the first 12 months we were together. since then we have only had sex 4 times in almost 18 months! we do have children and i think he doesn't want any more. i think some men just get comfortable with a woman. it happens at different times with different men. it's as if they have all the passion in the world for the woman they are with then it suddenly disappears and sometimes men find that they disconnect sex from the feelings they have for their partner.if you are sure he is not cheating, why don't you try seducing him. maybe a sexy new outfit and a special candlelight dinner. hope you work it out. i know this kind of thing can really hurt but often the other person feels like it is something that doesn't matter. there is also the possibility that he wants to know he is wanted for more than sex
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): Hi againIt sounds as if your husband could be under a great deal of stress. You say you have relocated, does this mean a new job? I am in a similar situation, in fact you could be me...married at 32 and a hubby 5 years younger! Only difference is I have one child, tho goodness knows how I ever manged to conceive! I asked a similar question and I got some really good answers, some of them quite lengthy, I suggest you could go have a look. Its the question "he said low but not zero......" It really helped me and I am taking a lot of the advice I have been given.I hope this works out for you.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses now I dont feel so alone, I am a stay at home wife without children. We have relocated to a new town and I havent any friends here and now no sex when we use to have sex all the time, I dont understand? We are so close and he said it will take time? I do love him but I dont want to be one of thoes women who waste their good years waiting for something that is going to just slide away from them. I waited untill I was 32 to get married and he is 4 years younger than me and he has no problems with erections he has one every morning he turns away from me with one and goes to the bathroom. I dont understand? Me and my husband have know each other for 10 years and he picked me he chased me and he practically begged me to merry him. I feel like he has another girl somewhere almost, but I know he doesnt have the time for one. He comes home rite from work and we sleep together every night with his arms wrapped around me? Weird, but no sex for 3 months now. I am sad...
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male
reader, dream_lover +, writes (30 January 2006):
 You need to tell him how you feel! tell him you have needs too and that cuddles and sleeping in the same bed is fine but you need more then that to be happy.The down side is he needs to think of you or find some other place to sleep and maybe live.You have needs to he needs to see that and love you for you. good luck and hope things work out for the best.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (30 January 2006):
 You poor thing. Don't leave him, try to get to the bottom of the situation. Confront him, without accusation and find out what the problem may be. Is it pressures of work? Does he have physical problems? Is ther a new medication he is taking? Is he suffering stress, or ahs there been a bereavement? Has he put on weight?
Any of these things can kill off a libido, even failing to get or maintain an erection can come back and haunt.
Please don't leave him til you have ferreted out the cause. You are maintaining intimacy and there is still loving contact between you so all is not lost.
Good Luck, and let me know how your converstaion pans out.xxx
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (30 January 2006):
i have the same problem with my partner. does your husband show affection in other ways? my partner replaced me with porn even though i gave him no reason to think i didn't want sex. i'm not saying this is what your husband has done but it is a possibility. tell him how you feel. find out if there is an underlying problem such as erectile disfunction. if you love each other then not having sex is not a good reason to leave. hope you can sort this out.
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