Love among the ruins
Q. I hope it's all right if I write. I'm not your traditional client. I'm 62, and I recently bumped (quite accidentally) into my very first real love, a girl for whom I gladly would have died, in 1966. The Vietnam war separated us. She then married ...
A. 7 April 2010: I love it Old Moss! Go for it. She's yours! Keep us posted. @boo22 - perfect answer! ... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain why I feel guilty?
Q. Right i wrote here before regarding my alcoholic ex boyfriend who smashed my windows and how he was awful to me. well idiot me got back with him and he got worse and worse he has smashed every window in my house cut the sky cable and just been ...
A. 3 April 2010: It is my sincere wish that you have learned from this and will be able to move forward in your life.
Never take this sort of guy on again. It will always end up the same. You deserve a man who treats you with dignity and respect. ... (read in full...)
I feel my fiance should pull his weight financially
Q. My finance has been living with me and my 2 children for about a year and a half. We make the same amount of money but he only pays for food. He says he won't help with the house payment and utilities because I would be paying for them if he wasn't ...
A. 2 April 2010: Listen to the writers above. They are all spot on.
What he doesn't use the utilities or anything? This guy is a freeloader and that won't change. And maybe this is just me but I also don't think it's a good idea to move a man into your hous... (read in full...)
I like my best friend's cousin
Q. I like this guy, but he is my Best Friend's cousin. I want to tell my friend how I feel about her cousin but I think it might get kind of weird between the two of us because she and her cousin are like really close to each other and I don't want to ...
A. 2 April 2010: Hey girl go for it. My daughter is 24 and her boyfriend of almost 2 years is her best friends cousin. They have been best friends since they were six too! Why not let her know you like him? See what happens. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a woman to fake virginity when she marries?
Q. I just want to know if it is possible for a girl to hide her premarital sexual relations form her husband (she's been having regular sexual relations with other males for 5 years before marriage). She is going to marry after 6 months ...
A. 1 April 2010: To answer your question directly YES. Not every woman is born with a hymen or sometimes the hymen can be broken doing athletic activities. A man cannot not tell if the woman is a virgin by "feel" it is mainly how she "behaves" - that is experienced ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is more interested in partying with friends than being with me
Q. Hey everyone. So me and my girlfriend have been together for just about a year and like starting a couple weeks ago she's not acting as cute and cuddly as she always did for the first like 11 months along with not wanting to have sex. To me sex i...
A. 1 April 2010: Ok so if she wants to spend more time with her friends why does that not include you? Why are you separate from her friends? She wants to go to parties. Why don't you go to parties together? Aren't you a couple?
You asked so here is what I t... (read in full...)
His hygiene is making me ill. Am I being too picky.
Q. Hello there, my problem is regarding personal hygiene. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and his personal hygiene is bad. Earlier in the relationship I was quite direct with him and he could listen to me but now he just tells me to shut up ...
A. 1 April 2010: Why on Earth are you even with this guy? Why would you be with a man who tells you to fuck off after HE PICKS HIS NOSE and you call him on it? Yikes! There is no hope for a person like this. Frankly his behavior screams mental illness to me. ... (read in full...)
Is he full of shit? Once a cheater always a cheater?
Q. I broke up with my b/f a month ago. Been together for 4 years. I finally caught him cheating. I have dealt with him dirty dancing with two other girls, sex texts to his friend(thats a girl) I have dealt with more sex texts from 3 different ...
A. 1 April 2010: CaringGuy is spot on dear. Find someone else. You have given him far too many chances. I see heartache in your future with this character. Dirty dancing? Really?... (read in full...)
Special friend vs. lover
Q. Someone told me if a woman calls you her special friend, she's not attracted to you at all. My friend called me her "very special friend" while her guard was down due to some very hard problems. She's usually really snide and we have a sort of ...
A. 1 April 2010: Don't put a whole lot of stock into what someone "long distance" is saying. Special or Very Special - what does it all really mean if you are not up close and personal? Also by your own admission - she said "very special friend" under duress. ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the man I am having an affair with wants me just for sex.
Q. I met this guy in a meeting room during a business trip. We exchanged namecards as usual for contacts. he send an email about an enquiry i made, i did'nt reply as i know it before he emails me. Then, he send a text message regarding the same info. ...
A. 1 April 2010: Forget about your current BF. This has nothing to do with this situation. TRUST YOUR GUT! If you think this older guy wants you for SEX PURELY than that's most likely the case. The question that begs to be asked here is this - Why are you ... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat on me?
Q. am i a fool about wanting to be trully loved. i am the best women a man can ask for. i am hot and sexy, smart and loving great in bed. why do men cheat on me?...
A. 1 April 2010: You are being cheated on because you are picking "cheaters" to be with. Apparently you are attracted to that subset of men that no matter who they are with, how beautiful and sexy and smart she it, they still cheat. So in essence it ain't you but ... (read in full...)
His bad breath and nasty comments about his exes are making me wonder... am I too unfussy?
Q. Hi Guys, I have been on a few dates with a guy recently and the problem is he has very bad breath indeed. He is not very attractive facially and has the bad breath and when I first met him I didn't fancy him that much but he made me laugh and ...
A. 1 April 2010: Oh Honey! Trust what your gut is telling you! Who cares if this bore make you laugh. That is his only redeeming quality that you mention here. Yes you are too unfussy! Listen to your friends - yes you are setting the bar too low! Good grief! ... (read in full...)
Someone get my name off this mortgage!
Q. how can i get my ex to give me financial settlement for our house. she wont sell it, ignores all solicitors letters, when i met her 5 years ago i had 30k and we used it to do the house up and had a couple of ...
A. 1 April 2010: Do you have an attorney?... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain why I feel guilty?
Q. Right i wrote here before regarding my alcoholic ex boyfriend who smashed my windows and how he was awful to me. well idiot me got back with him and he got worse and worse he has smashed every window in my house cut the sky cable and just been ...
A. 1 April 2010: Please re-read what I told you the first time! Your family has every right to be upset with you! Look at what you've done! You took that drunk back again and look what he did to your mum's house!!! To answer your question specifically, no you are ... (read in full...)
I am confused and miss my ex but she's moved on...
Q. Any advice please?? I was with my gf for 8 months and everything was perfect, we both got on so well and really loved each other. A few months ago she went back to university and i have had to move away for 18 months due to my career. Everythi...
A. 31 March 2010: Ok here is what you asked and i am being straight with you. Ok? Do i carry on the no contact? Yes! Do i make out that i am still fine? Don't bother! Or do i tell her how i feel? No! She does not care. She's with her x but wants to keep you... (read in full...)
He's not hitting me up to chat anymore, what's going on?
Q. Ok guys,I'm about to go nuts. I started talking to a guy on tagged probably 2-3 months ago.He would always message me ask me how i'm doing etc.We would have serious convos sometimes,he confessed im one of the very few women he can carry a decent c...
A. 31 March 2010: Dear Mizz Butterflies: What was the misunderstanding? I might be able to help you here but I need more info. You can private post me if you feel uncomfortable. Ok? In the meantime DO NOT MESSAGE HIM AGAIN until we get this sorted out ... (read in full...)
Love among the ruins
Q. I hope it's all right if I write. I'm not your traditional client. I'm 62, and I recently bumped (quite accidentally) into my very first real love, a girl for whom I gladly would have died, in 1966. The Vietnam war separated us. She then married ...
A. 30 March 2010: Dear Old Moss: What a great story! Best wishes both to you and Debbie. We are all so glad you took our advice and took a chance with your long lost love. May you lives the rest of your life happy. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain why I feel guilty?
Q. Right i wrote here before regarding my alcoholic ex boyfriend who smashed my windows and how he was awful to me. well idiot me got back with him and he got worse and worse he has smashed every window in my house cut the sky cable and just been ...
A. 29 March 2010: Make an appointment with a therapist. You have extreme low self esteem which is why you got back with awful BF in the first place. Try finding out what your deal is otherwise you will keep picking the same sort. Understand?... (read in full...)
He won't have sex with me anymore...
Q. I had finally met him! The guy, the right guy. He was more than everything that I wanted, he was what I needed. We are both in our 30's and have been together now for over a year. While things are not always perfect, they are comfortable, safe ...
A. 29 March 2010: Sounds to me like your BF is suffering from some sort of stress disorder (moving the furniture and cleaning within an inch of its life and then cleaning again). This screams OCD to me. This has noting to do with you and everything to do with him. ... (read in full...)
Am I falling in love with someone else?
Q. Heya, I have been in a long term relationship for around a year and a half now. I absolutely love my boyfriend but recently i've been getting feelings for another guy now. MY bf lives far away so we don't see each other much but talk on the fone...
A. 28 March 2010: To answer your question. Yes you are falling in love with someone else. Long disance relationship have a very high fail rate especially at your age. You should be out having fun not waiting by the phone for a guy whose a long way off. Be kind to ... (read in full...)
My molester is going to be at this dinner. Should I go?
Q. today me and my boyfriend will be going out to dinner along with his mother and brother it was all payed for his brother's company. ok here is were it get's interesting i found out last night that my mother whom i dont get along with will be there ...
A. 28 March 2010: Trust your gut. Your mother is no mother at all. She chose that scumbag over her own child! Stay away from the dinner. If you go you are giving implicit forgiveness - in other words your presence there will signify to you mom that you are ok ... (read in full...)
Why is she lying about snogging him?
Q. Me and my friends have this thing that you should never go out with a guy if one of your friend s like him Like this includes snogging. I recently found out that One of my friends Broke this thing with a guy i Really like and whats worse she's ...
A. 28 March 2010: She is lying because she has done a despicable thing - she snogged a guy you like. Not nice. And oh by the way - she's not your friend. A friend doesn't behave in that manner. Drop her. ... (read in full...)
Worried in case I've caught an STD!
Q. Hi, I'm a little confused here as to what to think. Last weekend i had sex with my ex boyfriend (silly i know, and I'm not proud of it) but it happened and I'm a little worried about STDs. I currently have a boyfriend who I also have an unprotected ...
A. 28 March 2010: Tell current bf you can't have sex with him because you have your period or because you have some sort of "female" problem and your doctor told you this. Or if he insists use a condom. Get yourself tested and NEVER DO THAT AGAIN WITH THE EX! ... (read in full...)
How to get in the mood for sex???
Q. me and my boyfriend of one year have decided to start having sex. but for some reason every time we try i cant seem to get wet enough?? we have tried forplay but nothing seems to work? therefore he starts to take it personally and thinks hes not ...
A. 28 March 2010: I think you just answered your own question: "I also think maybe we just might be rushing." You think you are completely comfortable but you are not. You are not relaxed enough. Question: Are you using contraception? ... (read in full...)
Should I give him more?
Q. i need some advice this is quite long but here goes I have gotton myself into a situation i am not very proud of. I am 27 female never had a boyfriend and lack confidence. I fell for someone at work who i know just wants a bit of 'fun' no strings, i ...
A. 28 March 2010: Trust what your gut is telling you. You already know the answer. This whole this is all wrong and that's why it feels wrong to you. Get a good therapist and explore the reasons that you think so little of yourself that you would agree to such an ... (read in full...)
Friend or more than that?!!
Q. I have a very good friend of mine, we stay in college all day together, even now when the college is off, everyday she calls me atleast once. But the thing is she is scared to meet me off the college coz she is scared that someone might see us ...
A. 28 March 2010: Dear PJ: She is concerned about you being seen together and giving the wrong impression? What does that mean? Is she not allow to have a boyfriend or date? Is this a religious or social issue for her? ... (read in full...)
Help!!! I had a one night stand with my friend's friend and I feel really disgusting and dirty.
Q. Last night I got stupidly drunk which I don't normally do. I've never been that drunk in my life and I did something completely out of character. I had a one night stand with my friend's friend and I feel really disgusting and dirty. It was my first ...
A. 28 March 2010: Ok so you were completely drunk and some guy had sex with you while you were intoxicated. Where I come from that's called rape. But it seems to me that you are more concerned about this incident being spread around. You say your friend will not ... (read in full...)
Any advice as I am hurting my husband but I just can't force myself to participate.
Q. My husband has a child from a previous relationship. The mother of the child is very protective of him and really does not like to let him out of her sight. He is her only child. The child stays with my husband alternate weekends. when the child is ...
A. 28 March 2010: You are in a tough spot. Is there any way to block the calls or texts? ... (read in full...)
I want my baby but my boyfriend wants me to abort. Help!
Q. Okay so I'm 16 and 5 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is 17. Just hear me out okay (: Although my boyfriend of 19 months and I had talked about having kids, our baby was not planned. We weren't careful at all with protection and so inevitably, I fe...
A. 27 March 2010: Get an abortion now! Don't wait any longer. At 16 you have no idea what you are in for with having a baby! No idea! If you go through with this pregnancy you will be in for a life time of hardship and will most likely raise a kid with no dad. ... (read in full...)
My Mom feels neglected now that I'm really happy with my first boyfriend, do I have to choose between them?
Q. Hi, I had a quite troublesome childhood with an evil and neglecting father and a mother that was depressed and very fragile. I have siblings but since I was the youngest my mother have always treated me like I was her little baby, and that I would...
A. 26 March 2010: Dear Lily: Listen to your boyfriend. He is the only one who is making sense here. It appears that he is a very sound, sensitive and caring guy. Your entire family on the other hand is dragging you way down. It's time for you to choose. Were I ... (read in full...)
My moods switch all the time, what is wrong with me?
Q. im an 18 year old girl and over the past 2 years i feel like there is something wrong with me, my moods switch all the time, one minute im hyper and energetic and happy, the next i switch into a really miserable mood when i feel like shutting down ...
A. 26 March 2010: Marieclaire is right. Get to the doctor ASAP. There are meds that can help with this. ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, if I get pregnant does that mean I can legally move in with my boyfriend?
Q. i am 16 and my boyfriend is 18 and were deciding to have a child. if i get pregnant does that mean i am emancipated? can i move in with my boyfriend?...
A. 26 March 2010: Oh Honey! You are so misguided! You might think that you'll be emancipated but your real problems will just be beginning if you have a baby at 16! Please private post me to my mailbox on this site. I have some very important questions for you and ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend ready to hear the important details about my affair?
Q. Ok, so I cheated on my boyfriend 5 months ago and told him almost immediately, but left out details as he didn't want to know them. All he knows is that I cheated on him, we didn't have sex, and it was a one-time thing. The guy I cheated with lived ...
A. 26 March 2010: Why are you playing with this guy like this? Torturing him by giving him your cheating info in dribs and drabs. Come off if - you want to "unload" on him by telling him everything because you either a) want to unburden yourself because you feel ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to make things better between us to stop our arguing?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been goin out for 1 year and 8 months. I used to be so happy with him and we never argued but recently we have started arguing more and more. Normally by this stage I would have broken up with them but i just cant, i love ...
A. 26 March 2010: Dear LraKandB: So your are bickering then, right? Who is starting the argument, you or him? What is the end of result of the argument? Just trying to understand what is going on here. Get back to me in private post to my mailbox if you feel more ... (read in full...)
I know he is married, ..but I like him!
Q. there this guy that i work with 2 days a week, he's married. we exchanged numbers due to work contact. he starting texting me and we were having a banter and joke for a few days. i saw him at work 3 days later and we were really flirty. he has sent ...
A. 25 March 2010: Good girl! Thanks for listening to us and letting us know your decision. You can always be proud of yourself for taking the higher road. I'm impressed!... (read in full...)
I know he is married, ..but I like him!
Q. there this guy that i work with 2 days a week, he's married. we exchanged numbers due to work contact. he starting texting me and we were having a banter and joke for a few days. i saw him at work 3 days later and we were really flirty. he has sent ...
A. 25 March 2010: You say you don't want to "get involved that way and ruin his marriage." Well then don't! It's as simple as that. I am sure all this attention is flattering but this guy most assuredly wants to get in your pants. And if that happens you'll get ... (read in full...)
Best friend... or boyfriend?
Q. Hey i want to know what to do if you were dating this boy and then yall broke up and your best friend started dating him and they broke up and you wanted to go back out with him but your friend said she would me mad at you??? I am so confused!!...
A. 25 March 2010: Dear Kayla Grace: Tell you friend to take a hike - two can play that game and she played first. If people break up then all bets are off. She is trying to manipulate you - don't take the bait. Good luck and find a new friend she sounds like a ... (read in full...)
She might have to sleep with him one more time to get the car in HER name!!!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a month now and I love her a lot. When we met she told me she had a "provider" like a suger daddy. She hasn't seen him since we have been together but he just bought her a car right before we met and she ...
A. 25 March 2010: Dear Turbocoupe: To answer your question - NO! It's not ok for her to have sex with this guy for a car! I gotta tell you I have some very important questions for you about this entire issue. If you are interested send me a private post to my ... (read in full...)
I don't want to tell him the baby is NOT his!!!
Q. I am the one who posted pregnant by my old flame I am pregnant by my old flame and have a boyfriend, we have been together for 5 years and its been rocky, I have messed with my old flame two times, I am pregnant and have not told my BF, he is very ...
A. 25 March 2010: Ok-so current BF is "very violent" but "he is a much better man parent wise than my old flame"? Is that right? To answer your question - don't say anything to current BF. Your thinking in this manner is correct "why should the baby suffer for my ... (read in full...)
I found out I have HPV, and am in shock. Please give me advice!
Q. I just found out I have HPV and have no idea what to expect. Does anyone have any advice or information for me? I am in shock right now....
A. 24 March 2010: Relax. The majority of adults in the US who have ever had unprotected sex (even once) probably have HPV (human papilloma virus). No need for concern. This is a non-issue. ... (read in full...)
Is his behaviour obsessive?
Q. I have recently begun dating a guy. We have a six year gap between us and at the start, before we went out, we chatted on Facebook. In our relationship at the moment, he is clearly more interested in me than me to him. During our web chats, he ...
A. 22 March 2010: You said "I have been out with him and it went well so I (sic) want it to work out." So my question to you is this - why are you complaining? Stop talking to your friend about this guy and focus if you "ant it to work out."... (read in full...)
Could I still be pregnant despite having my period?
Q. I had sex the day before valentines day and then in about the early part of March i had my period but the problem is that i still have the pregnancy symptoms like the left side of my lower abdomen is hurting me slightly but constantly i have fever ...
A. 22 March 2010: Yes you can still be pregnant! Sometimes this happens you gt what you think is a period. Get yourself to Planned Parenthood NOW! Get a pregnancy test. Hopefully it will be negative. If it is get on birth control NOW. You do not want a pregnancy ... (read in full...)
Why didn't this shy girl say goodnight to me?
Q. * OP's own title* This just happened last night. I was at my friend's house and everything was going swimmingly. My crush, his sister, showed her usual signs of liking me (mainly looking at me). In the past, she would show other signs of liking m...
A. 21 March 2010: You are making way too much out of this non-incident. This girls likes you so be satisfied with that stop perseverating on this "good night" thing. She will find your behavior off-putting. ... (read in full...)
Love among the ruins
Q. I hope it's all right if I write. I'm not your traditional client. I'm 62, and I recently bumped (quite accidentally) into my very first real love, a girl for whom I gladly would have died, in 1966. The Vietnam war separated us. She then married ...
A. 19 March 2010: Have a great summer! I think you will find love with Debbie and will finally be happy. Keep us posted. This is such a good story. ... (read in full...)
Love among the ruins
Q. I hope it's all right if I write. I'm not your traditional client. I'm 62, and I recently bumped (quite accidentally) into my very first real love, a girl for whom I gladly would have died, in 1966. The Vietnam war separated us. She then married ...
A. 7 March 2010: Oh Old Moss you sound like such a wonderful guy. What a precious man you are! I believe that fate has reunited you. Go to her! Take it slow....keep us posted! Who doesn't love a good love story?... (read in full...)
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