A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend of one year have decided to start having sex. but for some reason every time we try i cant seem to get wet enough?? we have tried forplay but nothing seems to work? therefore he starts to take it personally and thinks hes not doing somthing right or isnt good enough so in the end its always disapointing for the both of us and we normally just give up. its my first time but im extremely attracted to him and 100% comfortable.i think one of my problems is sometime i can be extremly wet out of nowhere but anytime i want to be i cant seem to?? (masterbation has never helped either) i also think maybe we just might be rushing?? but im not exactly sure how to slow down?? how do i get my self to be more in the mood???
View related questions:
in the mood Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Maybe u should try putting in a porno and start by going down on him. Get some toys and play around. this should get things heated up. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Vicci  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 I know this sounds weird, but you could try using porn to get you turned on before hand.
If you are opposed to that idea, use lubricant. its easy to buy, and easy to apply, so there are no problems there.
Hope this helps x
...............................
A
female
reader, will I ever? +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Hi, while I'm no expert I do have a few thoughts about your situation. If you are nervous or insecure about yourself, it can cause you to not be able to get excited. If you feel like you are doing something "wrong" or "sinning" this can happen also. You might feel pressure to "perform" which can sometimes inhibit letting go. Also, if you and your boyfriend usually try to have sex after drinking alcohol, sometimes it can cause the opposite effect of what you'd expect and you will be dry (a clue here is if you mouth is dry too.)
You said that sometimes you get wet out of the blue kind of says it's not a physical problem, so I would just try to relax and it wouldn't be cheating if you used a lubricant to start off. A lot of times getting in the mood starts with getting started.
Try to experiment with yourself to try to figure out what brings on those spontaneous urges and see if your boyfriend can try doing some things you really like, even if they might feel weird with someone else there.
Most importantly, accept the fact that sometimes you're in the mood and sometimes not. Just because you and your boyfriend are close, it doesn't mean that you are sexually compatible. You may have to work at it or just stop trying.
...............................
A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (28 March 2010):
 I think you just answered your own question: "I also think maybe we just might be rushing." You think you are completely comfortable but you are not. You are not relaxed enough. Question: Are you using contraception?
...............................
|
