Am I wrong to say no to being her daughter's godmother because my friend has never bought my son anything?
Q. my bestfriend and I been friends for over 10 years good bad happy and sad. I had a beautiful baby boy in 2006 and of course she is the nanny. My son is 4 years old and she hasn't did anything for him haven't brought nothing ! I can only recall her ...
A. 17 March 2010: I'm confused, why do you think she should buy things for your son? You're his mother... I'm sure she doesnt mean she wants you to be the godmother so you can provide her child with anything material, just love and security.... (read in full...)
Is it legal for cousins to have a baby together?
Q. Is it illeagal to have a babby with your first cousin in the united states?...
A. 17 March 2010: I'm not american but I thought it was illegal in most states...
Also if this is something you'd considering I'd urge you to consider that the baby will probably have some genetic defects, and decide whether this is something you think you would both... (read in full...)
I'm sick and tired of being bullied and being a little person in the dark who gets pushed around by life.
Q. I really, really need help. I'm so scared that there is something profoundly and irreversibly wrong with me. I'm very fearful for my future because of some experiences that I've had in the past few days. I'm afraid that I'm destined to be a...
A. 16 March 2010: I think everyone has these fears and worries from time to time - even your most successful friends still have stresses like this in their lives, I can guarentee you that.
I'm not saying what youre going through isnt bad, because it clearly isnt the ... (read in full...)
If she didn't want to talk to me, why did she give me her number?
Q. ...so this girl at my school i like somewhat gives me her number..so i wait about 3 to 4 days..and i send her a text saying is she there....she reply who is this..i say it was me...after about 9 min i get no reply so i send her another asking did ...
A. 16 March 2010: She could just have been too busy to answer the phone, then freaked out that you'd called her so many times? You might have come on a bit strong.
I'd just act normally with her at school tomorrow, and see how things go from here on! Good luck :) ... (read in full...)
How do you decide which problems are worth getting through and which you can't handle?
Q. I have a question but don't want to go much in detail so I hope it will be enough information for a response. In every relationship there are problems. How do you decide which problems are worth getting through and which you can't handle. It is hard ...
A. 9 March 2010: Weigh it up - would you rather have a future with these problems unchanged - do you think you could live with them forever - or a future without the relationship?
For instance, I am in a long-distance relationship (which I personally find very hard... (read in full...)
He's really into me and wants a threesome!!!
Q. I have a boyfriend, we've only been together a month, but we're really into each other or at least I think he's really into me. I mean, he asked if I would participate in having a threesome. Not a normal threesome. He just wants to have 2 girls give ...
A. 9 March 2010: I dont think he's "really into you", i think he's really into the idea of getting a threesome and thinks he's close to getting it...
If its not something you want to do (and I wouldnt either) just tell him that, end of matter. I wouldnt try any of t... (read in full...)
SOS: In a relationship but in love with teen girls!
Q. Greetings to all on DearCupid: I'm 21, from Miami (Florida, not Ohio), and I have an internal issue involving whether I should stay in love with my 19-year-old long-distance girlfriend I've met on a social gaming site about a month ago, or fa...
A. 9 March 2010: I dont think you can "choose" to stay in love or fall out of/in love, so I dont think you're asking about love at all, you're just asking who you should have sex/be with.
In which case, you should drop your longdistance girlfriend (as she dese... (read in full...)
I'm asking for too much with this married guy, right?
Q. hi... i am in a very happy relationship for past 4 years.. everything is just right. I met another guy, a married guy on a trip n had great fun wit him!! After d trip, telephonic conversations started(bf knws).. thenn started d phone sex, n i am ...
A. 8 March 2010: Your boyfriend isnt happy with the real you, he's happy with the you that he thinks you are. I think he deserves to know - you owe him that much, surely, after months of sneaking around behind his back and betraying him in the most abhorrent ... (read in full...)
My parents have rules but my boyfriend thinks I am treated unfairly
Q. So I have a curfew. Tonight was my boyfriends birthday, so I went out. I told my parents I would be home by one, not knowing if that would happen or not. My boyfriend knows my parents are strict too, and that I had to be home. So, Im at the party ...
A. 7 March 2010: I think as long as you're still living with them you are right to respect the rules and boundaries that they set, and if you don't like them, then, well you're free to leave as you ARE 21.
I dont think anyone is really at fault here, its just a diff... (read in full...)
I don't understand why she would prefer to watch TV than have sex
Q. I've been with my gf since dec of 08. We had sex before we got together and and after only 2 weeks knowing each other. I love her dearly but lately we don't have sex like used to and as much. I always was the one givng the hints for sex then we ...
A. 6 March 2010: Maybe her responding to your hints at first but not anymore doesnt "show she likes you in control".. she may just have felt like she had to do it whenever you wanted at first, but now she'd rather just do it when she actually feels up for it.
H... (read in full...)
Text kisses!
Q. Is there any difference in someone putting xXx at the end of a text compared to x, or xx or xxx? I just wondered because, well my situation is kinda complicated and this guy never tends to put any kisses on texts ever! But this time after we'd been ...
A. 4 March 2010: I think it varies from person to person - i know a lot of people who dont think anything of the amount of x's they put on the end of texts, and some people who will basically tell people what they think of them through the amount of kisses they put! ... (read in full...)
He tried to force himself on me. Am I over-reacting?
Q. I've been going out with this guy for a few weeks. he was really nice, opened doors for me, said sweet things, and seemed real cool. He seemed patient, didn't mind spending time with my family, and was real smart. he was older than me and seemed so ...
A. 27 February 2010: You are absolutely NOT overreacting, and dont let him try to convince you that you are. No, truly good guys arent like this - my older boyfriend didnt pressure me, and he certainly didnt pin me down to get what he wanted.
Don't give him any more... (read in full...)
She is leaving regardless of whether I am coming with her or not, is she being unreasonable?
Q. My girlfriend of six months is moving away for a new job. She will be a 12 hour drive away in a state and part of the country I don't like. It's not a desirable location. She could have a good job and stay here, but doesn't like the company....
A. 26 February 2010: I don't think shes being unreasonable - she knows she wants this job, and she understands you might not want to come with her. It doesnt sound like shes demanding you drop everything to come with her; it seems she'd just rather go and do a job she ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said she can't do our long distance relationship anymore and is going to block my number!
Q. Back in July of 2009 I started dating this wonderful girl, but soon after she moved to California. We kept it a long distance relationship. She was 25 and i am 19. In November I flew out to see her and I lost my vcard to her. (Yeah I know 19, ...
A. 20 February 2010: It sounds like you're making the right decision, if being around your friends helps then keep yourself occupied with them :) you're right, it is easier said than done, but in the long run it'll be worth it.
(And by way her being on her period does... (read in full...)
I want to keep working as an exotic dancer but my boyfriend wants me to stop, what should I do?
Q. Hi all ..thanks for some help , Im working as an exotic dancer in a rather nice club , I love my job and really enjoy turning on the guys and feeling them wanting me so badly . But I began dating this guy I met there ( I know , I know ...
A. 12 February 2010: I would agree with Samantha - he met you there, so clearly isnt that opposed to your career on any moral grounds, and started a relationship with you knowing full well what you do for a living. If you love your job, it hardly seems fair that you ... (read in full...)
Why must I wait weeks to hear from her and months to see her?
Q. Oh boy, I have problem. I don't even know where to start with my question so I'll just tell the whole story. I have two very important women in my life. The first is my girlfriend of five years- my love.The second is a very close female friend who ...
A. 12 February 2010: I dont think its a case of her having forgotten her feelings for you; you say you want her as a lover, but maybe she wants more than to be your bit on the side. I know you see your connection with her as something more than that, but to her it will ... (read in full...)
I don't understand religion and why we should be forced to put up with it.
Q. hi, im 14 and an atheist but i respect religious people who are open to another persons point of view, but the other side of that coin is that ignorance and single mindedness makes me really really angry. i just dont understand religion, i mean no ...
A. 12 February 2010: I dont think you are being "closeminded" or "judgemental", as some of the aunts here have suggested. As far as I am concerned these are valid points, and I've always wondered how people justify organised religion with these kind of situations in ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said she can't do our long distance relationship anymore and is going to block my number!
Q. Back in July of 2009 I started dating this wonderful girl, but soon after she moved to California. We kept it a long distance relationship. She was 25 and i am 19. In November I flew out to see her and I lost my vcard to her. (Yeah I know 19, ...
A. 12 February 2010: Wow, I'm in a long-distance relationship too (nothing crazy about it, well done for trying to make it work!) and I know if my partner did this to me I would be devastated, so I am so sorry for what you're going through. If you had been solid up ... (read in full...)
How can I connect more with a woman when I suffer from depression and she suffers from ptsd?
Q. How can I connect more with a woman for a realtionship, when I suffer from depression and she suffers from ptsd?...
A. 12 February 2010: More information would be nice - how severe are your conditions? Have you both been through treatments? What kind of connection do you think you're lacking - physical, emotional? A bit of background about your relationship as it stands right now ... (read in full...)
Would it be so bad to get a tattoo reminding me of him, even though this weekend will be the first time we have met up?
Q. I have recently met a younger man (3 years) on a dating website. We have texted and talked on the phone. We are supposed to meet this weekend. To add insult to injury his father passed away this last Monday. I feel a VERY strong connectio...
A. 12 February 2010: Well it sounds like youve spent a good amount of time thinking it through - i think most of the negative stories you'll hear about tattooing names and things come from people who did expect their relationship to last forever, rather than wanting the ... (read in full...)
He's married to my friend, but we're together and I'm jealous of the time they spend together.
Q. Hi there, Im really not sure anyone can help me but i need advice. I have been very hurt over the last 2 years by somebody who i work with. it is a very long story but to cut it short i fell deeply for a man i had known for three years. we would me...
A. 11 February 2010: I'm shocked you still refer to this woman as your friend - with friends like you who needs enemies, right? You might think that sounds harsh but, honestly, if you were in her position how would you be feeling?
You need to stop whatever is going on w... (read in full...)
Why must I wait weeks to hear from her and months to see her?
Q. Oh boy, I have problem. I don't even know where to start with my question so I'll just tell the whole story. I have two very important women in my life. The first is my girlfriend of five years- my love.The second is a very close female friend who ...
A. 11 February 2010: She probably did feel the same way about you as you felt about her (and yes, i also believe you can love more than one person in a lifetime - the whole soulmate thing just doesnt make sense to me). I imagine she wanted more from you than you could ... (read in full...)
My best friend is getting married to my ex-girlfriend! How do I get over this?
Q. My best friend and girlfriend left me? I cheated on her several times. And thought she would never find out but after a while my bf and her started talking and they got very close he realized what a asshole I have been to her he fell in love wit...
A. 11 February 2010: I dont think what your friend did is low at all, no. Maybe if it had been lies and you hadnt cheated on her - but you did, and werent man enough to tell her yourself, so he stepped up to the plate. Your ex could easily have directed her anger at him ... (read in full...)
My best friend is getting married to my ex-girlfriend! How do I get over this?
Q. My best friend and girlfriend left me? I cheated on her several times. And thought she would never find out but after a while my bf and her started talking and they got very close he realized what a asshole I have been to her he fell in love wit...
A. 11 February 2010: You deal with your pain by reading back over everything youve writted here and recognising that you cant blame what happened on other people - it was your own fault. How could you possibly have thought it was acceptable to lie and cheat on the girl ... (read in full...)
My best friend is getting married to my ex-girlfriend! How do I get over this?
Q. My best friend and girlfriend left me? I cheated on her several times. And thought she would never find out but after a while my bf and her started talking and they got very close he realized what a asshole I have been to her he fell in love wit...
A. 11 February 2010: I think your friend did the right thing and she deserves somebody like him, to be honest. Your friend didnt blow everything - YOU did. The fact you think she "didnt have to know" that you were lying to her and cheating on her speaks volumes about ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has an anger problem and I'm worried about my unborn child
Q. im pregnant and worried about by boyfriends anger. been to the doctor as he has hit me in the stomach and i am worried bout hurting my baby. my friends say i should leave him! i don't know what to do. please help ...
A. 7 February 2010: Try to look at it this way - if your friend, or sister, or mother, was in a relationship with somebody who hit her and lied to her, you would want them to end that relationship, wouldnt you? Especially if they had children/were pregnant and were ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that a 19 year old is interested in a 16 year old?
Q. hii, im new to this sitee but i jus have a quickkk question. well imm about to turn 16 and the guy imm dating will be 19 this week. is it weird that hes interested in me? (bc of the age) neither of us have a problem with the difference, i was jus ...
A. 7 February 2010: I dont think its weird, if you say you guys dont feel the age gap you're probably both at about the same maturity level. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21, and we started our relationship when I was 16 - he isnt having any problems "adapting to ... (read in full...)
I'm worried she is losing too much weight for him
Q. Well my best friend started dating a family friend a couple of months ago. My friend over heard them talking and we found out her boyfriend called her fat or something like that or had to lose weight. Well she is now on a diet is doing a lot of ...
A. 6 February 2010: Talk to somebody you trust in a high position in your school about consulting Connexions or a similar organisation operating in your area - theyre designed to tactfully deal with situations like these.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has an anger problem and I'm worried about my unborn child
Q. im pregnant and worried about by boyfriends anger. been to the doctor as he has hit me in the stomach and i am worried bout hurting my baby. my friends say i should leave him! i don't know what to do. please help ...
A. 6 February 2010: How can you not recognise that this guy isnt good for you or your child? He's hit you and your baby, lied about something as huge as having other children (as you just found out), is clearly irresponsible and is manipulating you into staying with ... (read in full...)
I'm worried she is losing too much weight for him
Q. Well my best friend started dating a family friend a couple of months ago. My friend over heard them talking and we found out her boyfriend called her fat or something like that or had to lose weight. Well she is now on a diet is doing a lot of ...
A. 6 February 2010: Yes, from the information youve given it sounds as though she has an eating disorder - maybe due to her boyfriend putting pressure on her, maybe because of her own insecurities.
Definitely do not ignore this. I know you say she is distancing hers... (read in full...)
My mum says I have to dump my boyfriend when he turns 18!
Q. Ok so i met this guy while i was in placement and we liked eachother so we started going out.....well he got discharged before me and i got discharged soon after him we've been going out for almost a year now and my parents havent met him yet. I ...
A. 5 February 2010: It seems strange that youve been going out for a year and he hasnt met your parents, what are you waiting for? They won't approve of him until theyve actually met him and assessed his character for themselves, so this is an absolute must! Your mums ... (read in full...)
Should I try and start a relationship with him despite the age difference making it illegal?
Q. This is something I really need help with. I'm only 15 and I'm very interested in a 21 year old. Yes, I completely understand it's illegal but do laws bury my feelings for someone? No. We've yet to begin a relationship but we've already had sex. Now ...
A. 5 February 2010: Hi, I'm going to start by telling you I dont have a problem with an age gap like this if both people are mature, responsible and truly care about the other person - my boyfriend and I started dating when I was 16 and he was 20, and are still very ... (read in full...)
He lied to get me into bed, & now I am constantly reminded of this
Q. i am struglling very hard to get over a bad relationship. I slept with a guy who has a gf becuase he fed me promises of us being together but he never left her but still he was contacting me.I have tried really hard to distance myself from him but ...
A. 5 February 2010: Jane, the aunts arent trying to berate you, theyre trying to help you recognise how to move forward with this. You have been through a painful learning experience, but that is how you should feel about it - something which has taught you, and you ... (read in full...)
If he's not into me why is he talking to me? Help me understand!
Q. I went out on a blind date 10 days ago. It went pretty well and I think we both had a good time. I've talked to him online almost every day since then. He also asked me to watch a movie with him one night, but I was busy. I had a five night ...
A. 3 February 2010: It seems like, through no fault of your own, you havent been able to make any of the meetings he has set up. However he is still trying to arrange meetings, but more vaguely - this doesnt mean he's not into you, I imagine it just means he's sick of ... (read in full...)
I dated a known cheater and now he has cheated on me I have trust issues.
Q. I apologize if my question is long, but you must know all the details for it to make sense. I also changed the names of the people. Thank you for listening I really need advice. . Spencer and I met last year in May,(we have been together for alm...
A. 3 February 2010: I would like to hear your justification for cheaters being good people... I personally cant grasp the concept of somebody both deliberately and systematically betraying the person they (supposedly) love, and being described as a good person. Regard... (read in full...)
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 3 February 2010: I just spent about half an hour working my way through this thread - its very interesting, nice debate to pick! I personally can completely understand why some men have difficulties accepting a promiscuous woman's past - providing they themselv... (read in full...)
We have been on and off for a year, ...should I go back to him again?
Q. im thinking about going back with my ex bf, but he seems different then before...he's jealous. i have a best guy friend, and when ever i say hi to him my ex gets quiet and he asks if do i like my friend, or just makes the face. we have ben on and o...
A. 3 February 2010: Sadly, jealousy is more a sign of a possessive and controlling personality than love.
Personally I think on/off relationships never work out - Ross and Rachel are nothing like real life. There is always a reason you break up; maybe a pers... (read in full...)
I want to marry her but don't have the nerves to ask!
Q. I love my girlfriend more than anything else and I want spend the rest of my life with her, but I'm don't have the guts to ask her to marry me even though I'm fairly sure she would say yes. She makes me smile when no one else can she is always t...
A. 3 February 2010: Theres no need to rush things - its great that you feel so committed to her already, and the fact you think you will spend the rest of your lives together means you have plenty of time to prepare! Take the time to properly plan how you are going to ... (read in full...)
It's so painful that I love him and he doesn't feel the same way! What should I do?
Q. Hi, Ive been with my boyfriend for just about a year, and we haven't approached the "love subject" well he hasn't. I love him and haven't said it, im 2 upset to because i no he won't say it back. This really hurts because obviously im in ...
A. 29 November 2009: Maybe he does feel the same, and just didn't want to say it for the first time when you were both drunk - perhaps he wanted it to be more meaningful and romantic than something that just slipped out after he'd had a few. I think you've waited long ... (read in full...)
Married, had an affair and now wondering if I was just looking through things with rose colored glasses on?
Q. I have been married for 27 years and we have three children, 17, 13, and 12. For several years my wife had been reluctant to engage in sex, and I had become increasingly frustrated, both physically and emotionally. At work I had got to know a g...
A. 29 November 2009: Having read your question and followups, I'm not really sure what advice you're looking for. It seems like you've already made up your mind? You have asked whether you are looking at your relationship with susan through rose-coloured glasses - that ... (read in full...)
She won't accept that I love her
Q. My girlfriend keeps saying I don't love her. Its getting annoying, because I keep telling her that I do, but she just responds with "nope". What can I say to prove that I love her so she will stop. I love her very much, and I wish she knew I did!...
A. 28 November 2009: Has she had a bad relationship in the past that would cause her to be doubtful of guys? If so, all you can do is be loving and patient; she will believe you in time. Otherwise, I understand how that would be hugely frustrating - have you let her ... (read in full...)
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