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If she didn't want to talk to me, why did she give me her number?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2010)
A male United States age 26-29, *issioncircle1 writes: this girl at my school i like somewhat gives me her i wait about 3 to 4 days..and i send her a text saying is she there....she reply who is this..i say it was me...after about 9 min i get no reply so i send her another asking did she remember she gave me her number...still no i call...she doesn't pick after 3 attempts i give up....and i am confused..if she didn't want to talk to me..why would she give me her number?..this is very odd...(talk about seeing her at school being weird after this lol)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010):

Your assumption that your number would be in her phone and so she would know how the text was from was not smart. The poor girl is already half-thinking "weird anonymous texter".

Then you contact her three times in an hour. That turns her thoughts to "weird stalker-type desperation". Because you texted her, you can't tell what her circumstance is, so you can't send the right vibes; better to talk.

Girls dislike dumb desperate boys. And you acted like one of those.

Next time, be smart. Talk rather than text, say your name and where you met up front, say how much you liked your time together, if she seems willing have a plan for a further outing that would suit her.

As for this girl, it's really up to her to call you back in the next few days. If you call you'll only appear more of a stalker. Maybe after a week you could ring and talk with her, saying you'd left a message and you know she must be busy, which gives her an opening to talk about what she has been doing recently.

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A female reader, Bloody_Mary United States +, writes (17 March 2010):

Bloody_Mary agony auntYou're young, learn on your mistake: play it cool B-) It's just manners. She is not scared, she just doesn't want to date a guy without dating manners. They are complex, far more than holding her jacket and not getting drunk on the first date! Rule #17648: try to contact her twice, then wait for HER. If she doesn't answer, she either doesn't care (in most cases) or something extreme like an accident or illness has happened (very rarely).

Next time, one message is fine. Even more so because you were the gentleman (kudoz to you, my boy!) and initiated the communication. She'll answer if she wants to. Just make sure your delivery report is on at all times ;)

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A male reader, Missioncircle1 United States +, writes (17 March 2010):

Missioncircle1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Missioncircle1 agony auntI didnt call her constantly the first text she replyed to but when i told her it was me it was about 10 min before i sent her a text after no reply..then after than about 18 min later i called and left a message

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A female reader, Bloody_Mary United States +, writes (16 March 2010):

Bloody_Mary agony auntCan you please answer: how much time had passed between your first SMS and the third call?

When you do, I'll answer. Small things matter, especially at that age.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010):

best leave it. Id say she isnt interested, or possibly has issues in her life.

Either way you cant win. So let it go

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A male reader, mr toyboy South Africa +, writes (16 March 2010):

She is probably with her boyfriend, thats why she didnt want to answer, most women do that.

Or she felt obligated to give you her number, but wasnt really intrested.

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A female reader, Accountable United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2010):

Accountable agony auntShe could just have been too busy to answer the phone, then freaked out that you'd called her so many times? You might have come on a bit strong.

I'd just act normally with her at school tomorrow, and see how things go from here on! Good luck :)

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A female reader, ElectricSheep United States +, writes (16 March 2010):

ElectricSheep agony auntI don't understand either why someone would give their number if they're just going to ignore the caller??

It sounds like she's not interested. She might have thought, "if I reply that could been seen as a signal that I'm interested." Or maybe she felt obligated to give her number?

If you see her at school, act normal like nothing happened. She's the one who should be feeling awkward anyway. You can make a joke about it if you two talk, or just let it go from your memory.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2010):

I don't think she was interested. Perhaps she gave you the number, then forgot and just lost interested. Don't worry about her. Move on.

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A female reader, kayla20 United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2010):

kayla20 agony auntshes either not interested or shes really shy and doesnt no how to react to the situation but if that was me id be thinking the same thing as you.just leave it now and see if she talks to you in school if not ask her if she didnt want to talk then why did she give over her number

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