A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have recently met a younger man (3 years) on a dating website. We have texted and talked on the phone. We are supposed to meet this weekend. To add insult to injury his father passed away this last Monday.I feel a VERY strong connection to this man already and I really think that we could make a long term if not forever relationship. I have 3 tattoos. I haven't asked him if he has any. If we hit it off as well as I think we will this weekend, I would like to get something very generic (no initials or flowers) Chinese symbols might be good to symbolize the beginning of something very beautiful. If, at least for me, it doesn't last forever, I will have something small to reminder a very happy and pleasant time in my life.Is that so bad? All I've read tonight is negative stories about tattoos on couples. I understand names, etc. I've been married and divorced twice. I wouldn't want their names on me. But, just like a picture, I would like a memory of a time and place when I was very happy.Thanks,
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 February 2010):
 I would keep your eye out for anything special you see while out - a flower at the restaurant, a word that sticks out. Something that you can keep in your mind for a good tattoo that you get down the road. Now it's too soon! Too crazy!! You haven't even begun a relationship, let alone met in person. What if he's the guy who ends up completely breaking your heart? That tattoo will only remind you of a bad mistake.
So, keep something in mind and if you end up falling madly in love and spending a lifetime together, THEN get that image tatted on you. But don't jump the gun, sister!!
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (12 February 2010):
Well I think it's GREAT that you have found someone you share a great connection with, that's terrific. But getting a tattoo for a guy you are just meeting is pretty intense. That puts an awful lot of pressure on the situation... even if you don't tell him, you are setting it up in your mind that it's got to be a forever thing, and on some level he will pick up on that and feel the pressure of it. I think it would be better to be happy, be hopeful, but also to be relaxed and let things unfold as they will.
If you want a memento to put your hopes into, why not buy yourself a piece of jewelry? A pretty bracelet, ring or a locket. This way you can satisfy your desire to have a special token without having to make it a part of your body.
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A
female
reader, gcruz +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Aw you're so cute I think you shud wait just to be sure maybe 5 dates or something he might be a total ass
I've been with the same feelings you havr with plenty of guys same expectations and they have all disappointed me all alike just be safe don't get too excited about something unsure.
Kiss kiss
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Don't do it. Tattoos are not the only way to make souvenirs as a way of making a memory physically tangible.
If this at all goes bad, you'll be stuck with that crappy memory forever.
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A
female
reader, laceytopgirl  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 if you are to get a tattoo of something to symbolise a happy time in your life how is anyone else to know it has regards to this younger man unless you tell them.
body art is an excellent way to remind you of how happy you were at this time of your life :)
happy tattooing x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): No. And i think he'd be a bit freaked out if you did
xxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Im not a fan of tattoo's or deforming the body.
A beautiful memory? If he turns out to be a pig then what? It wont be a beautiful memory will it?
So I will only say, that very soon, just as they came into fashion, they will go out of fashion.
What will you do then?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (12 February 2010):
 OK you say you are going to wait and see how it goes first. That sounds good. You already have 3 tattoos, so you obviously are comfortable with making memories in ink. You have been married and divorced twice so you understand that sometimes relationships don't last. You are my age (within 5 years) so you should be mature enough to make this kind of decision. But, since you ask:
I would personally buy a knick knack or souvenir of some sort to make the memory. Buy it together, or better yet if he is smart he will bring you something. Then when he is out of your life and your feelings have changed you can gleefully toss out the reminder.
Also, do not send him money. See http://www.dearcupid.org/question/a-precaution-for-dating-sites-.html posted just yesterday.
FA
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Well it sounds like youve spent a good amount of time thinking it through - i think most of the negative stories you'll hear about tattooing names and things come from people who did expect their relationship to last forever, rather than wanting the tattoo just to be a reminder of a happy time, as you say. If you dont think youd regret it, even if your relationship did end, i think its fine for you to go for it :)
Hope this weekend goes well for you!
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A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Hmm when I read the title of this I felt like screaming NOOOO because I got a tattoo when I was with my boyfriend ... Then we ended the relationship and I now despise that bit of ink on my body.
But I suppose if it's symbolising a happy period in your life and not a man then it's okay. Aslong as you won't regret or hate it if things go wrong
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Sorry, let me get this straight - you have only chatted to this guy who you met on internet dating - and you want to have a tattoo done to remind you of him???? So just guessing here, you meet the packer at the supermarket and he packs your produce properly, are you going to have something tattooed to remind you of him?
I think you are jumping the gun - I can understand having a tattoo to remind you of a loved one who has passed on......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Knock yourself out, but that seems a bit daft to me....you just met the guy and only on line and already you are imagining a long term future together.
I hate to break it to you, but this is called projection where you are projecting onto him he qualities that you HOPE he has, and you are infatuated. Although this can be FUN, it is in no way and indicator that this is the right person or the right relationship for you.
It is fine to be happy, not negative, hopeful, but you have to take a step back and keep your wits about you.
There is a danger in a strong connection because what it means is that YOU have very intense feelings, largely chemical going on in your brain, and this MASKS reality.
Reality is what you are going for, so take your time, don't get a tattoo to remind you of him, you may end up being very unhappy that you did.
K?
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A
male
reader, Daveeeeeee  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Sorry ..Its an absolutely STUPID idea , tattoos are for ever and are more ugly as you get older ..You dont even know this Guy .
If in 5 years time , you still happen to be together ( which you probably wont ) ..Get it then ..Yuk !
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