A
male
age
30-35,
*rokeAndHurting19
writes:Back in July of 2009 I started dating this wonderful girl, but soon after she moved to California. We kept it a long distance relationship. She was 25 and i am 19. In November I flew out to see her and I lost my vcard to her. (Yeah I know 19, but it was a personal choice and I wanted to wait till I was in love, and I really loved her) I regretted to leave.2 days after my return we got back into a heated arguement and she broke up with me. A week later she tells me she slept with someone else and she is gonna see where the relationship goes with them. The next few months she will keep telling me she loves me one week, the next week she will say she never wants to talk again. Finally last weekend she says she wants to try a long distance relationship again. So we tried it. The whole weekend she was constantly asking questions and not trusting me, then come monday she says she is tired of worrying about if I'm cheating on her, which I am obviously not cause I care about her. We fought again and she said she is gonna get my number blocked and never wants to speak to me again.What do I do? I really love her and I am going into the Air Force in a month and hopefully will get stationed by her. I really want this to work out. Please don't judge me because I was in a long distance relationship, to me love is love. I feel like I am losing not only the love of my life but my best friend. I think she is going to the bar every night too, I don't know what to do. I am hurting really bad and don't want to be blocked out of her life.
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best friend, broke up, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 It sounds like you're making the right decision, if being around your friends helps then keep yourself occupied with them :) you're right, it is easier said than done, but in the long run it'll be worth it.
(And by way her being on her period doesnt justify treating you that way..! haha)
Good luck!!
A
male
reader, BrokeAndHurting19 +, writes (13 February 2010):
BrokeAndHurting19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all of you. It seems to be a pretty solid decision judging from all of the posts. It does seem that way though, that now she has someone she doesn't need me. It is just when I'm bored I find that I really want to talk to her, when I'm around friends the urge isn't that bad. Love is powerful as hell, no matter how bad she treats me I still always want to be with her. Kind of pathetic in my part I guess. I just need to focus on my priorities and not her, which is easier said than done. oh and btw she is on the period at the moment. she did mention to tell me that in an arguement. lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): I think it's best that you file this relationship away and look back on it as a fond memory.
Caring about this woman is not going to validate you trying to save this in-and-out relationship. Besides the fact that I believe she is accusing you of cheating b/c she is reflecting her own guilty feelings onto you, what good is she really doing YOU by yo-yoing you around?
I think you should block HER number, email, social networking friend-listing, and go completely NO CONTACT. It will hurt you. It will hurt her...and even more, will most likely make her "want you again". Commit yourself to no contact with this woman, and you'll allow yourself to be open to meeting someone who cares about YOU just as much as you care about them.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (12 February 2010):
Two words that people in love don't want to hear. Move on. But I'm not going to tell you to do that. You aren't even sure if you will be stationed near to where she lives. My advice is to break up and if she wants to block your number then let her. Let her know you're ok with it if that's what she wants and you support her decision. The more you fight to stay with her the worse it gets. I been through it twice I know. Be honest with her tell her you never cheated on her and you love her but if that's her ultimate decision then say your ok with it. Don't beg don't keep saying the samething over like I love you. If it's meant to be then she'll comeback to you and realize she made a mistake. But don't wait on her. Be strong and confident because you never know if another girl is looking at you.
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (12 February 2010):
Wow, I'm in a long-distance relationship too (nothing crazy about it, well done for trying to make it work!) and I know if my partner did this to me I would be devastated, so I am so sorry for what you're going through. If you had been solid up until now I would suggest going to whatever lengths to get her back - but it sounds like her decision was made a while ago, when she first broke up with you, so it would probably be best for you to focus on yourself and try to move on. She has violated your trust in some fairly awful ways, and I think you need to remember that, not just forgive her because you still care about her (I know thats harder to do than it sounds, though). You say you're going into the Air Force soon - thats great, and if you need to distract yourself from thoughts of this girl I'd suggest throwing all of your energy into preparing for that.
Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 February 2010):
Relax, I don't need to judge you since you haven't done anything wrong. She's plying with you like a cat with a ball of string, and that's not fair. She obviously broke up with you to have sex with another guy, and I think you'll fine she's probably be doing it for some time, using you as an emotional pillar. You might love her, but she doesn't love you at all. She's playing with you and most likely cheating on you. There are other far better girls out there.
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A
male
reader, k1228 +, writes (12 February 2010):
 i think you should just leave her alone for a little while, she's obviously going through something, maybe shes worried that since you had sex for the first time, youre going to turn into a sexcrazed maniac and start doing anything that moves, some people blow things way out of proportion, id say you should talk to her about it, maybe visit her more often, and i dont mean to sound like an immature teenager here but when my friends sister hits that time of the month all hell breaks loose, so that might also be a possibility, but dude if she slept with another guy, tell her to go fuck herself and move on, trust me, good and bad memories are stored in separate parts of the brain, you remember good things easier than bad, so you are probably just remembering good more clearly and bad is alot fuzzier, just leave her alone, tell yourself shes evil, and hang out with friends more often. reply back to me dude, i wanna see how this turns out.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (12 February 2010):
 I'm sorry but this chick sounds kind of crazy, and it also sounds like she was cheating and projecting it on you. Found someone in a week huh? Odds are she was already interested in him, and that's why she broke up with you.
She is treating your heart like a yo-yo, and that's not fair to you. I suggest that you move on - especially since she said she never wanted to talk to you again - and see if there are any sane women in your area. No harm in keeping your options open, since you're single. If it's meant to be, she'll be back in your life.
Good luck.
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