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... Send *old4this a private message | | | *old4this's profile:I am a male age 41. I reside in the US. I am married for several years and have experience dealing with young love in a deep emotional manner. I believe that the majority of people under the age of 30 have had the same types of problems in relationships. Experienced advice helps because it helped me. |
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Newly married husband looking at porn, I'm disgusted
Q. My new husband has been looking at naked women on Craigslist and now I feel disgusted with him. It makes me feel like we are not special. It makes me feel like he thinks of other women when having sex with him and now I don't really want to have ...
A. 15 January 2009: Ok, no offense, but if he only looks at it on his own time when you are not with him, then the only problem is the one in your head. I was very nice before but all these other comments upset me very much. Would you rather have him go out and sleep ... (read in full...)
Why don't any of these guys have feelings for me?
Q. Brace yourself people this is going to be a long one Grrr, right what is wrong with all the males I meet after reading this question please do not tell me that I need to stop going for the same kind of guy because really everything about...
A. 12 January 2009: Yea, guy number two sounds ok. He was honest with you that he doesnt want a relationship right now. All you can do is worry about yourself and do whats best for you. The right guy will come along as long as you put yourself out there. It could be ... (read in full...)
Should I do oral?
Q. me and my boyfriend, which is 18 and im 15, where playing around in are secret spot at school this morning like always. and this weekend we got to know more details about each other, like small things about his future and past, and how he felt about ...
A. 12 January 2009: Well, it sounds like he's a good guy cuz he isnt making you do anything you dont want to do. All i can say is follow your heart. If you go ahead and do it then please use some protection. At 15 and 18 you guys are not ready for a baby. Really i dont ... (read in full...)
Newly married husband looking at porn, I'm disgusted
Q. My new husband has been looking at naked women on Craigslist and now I feel disgusted with him. It makes me feel like we are not special. It makes me feel like he thinks of other women when having sex with him and now I don't really want to have ...
A. 12 January 2009: I agree with alot of what pvtguy says, But withholding sex from him will only make it worse. He probably didnt realize how much this would be a problem for you even when you asked him about it before you got married. I can tell you from experience ... (read in full...)
"It just seemed right" what does that mean?
Q. So my ex and I have been broken up for almost two months now. On his birthday and on Christmas we wound up making out. I asked him why he kissed me and he told me he'd have to considerate it. A couple weeks later he was able to answer my question ...
A. 12 January 2009: He got what he wanted plain and simple. If you are not together anymore then stop giving that to him unless you want it too. Or if you know nothing will come of it.... (read in full...)
Do good looking people get advantages in life?
Q. does being goodlooking/cute looking have advantagaes in sport,getting job,finding love etc not talking about me just in gerenal.goodlooking people get treated better then plain looking people...
A. 12 January 2009: Unfortunately yes, It does. But only at first. I mean obviously if you are in a profession that requires you to be seen by alot of people on a daily basis like tv or something then the more physically attractive you are the better, at first. But if ... (read in full...)
Why is it that racism has all of a sudden become a big joke to people?
Q. Why is it that racism has all of a sudden become a big joke to people? I know some people (like me) HATE racism in any shape or form, and get really angry when people say racist things. To me, it's not right. Whether it's religion, skin colo...
A. 12 January 2009: It's not just now, people have been making jokes about race and all kinda other things for a long time now. If someone calls you or anyone else a fat jew or nigger or anything like that then it is very offensive and you should be upset. If someone ... (read in full...)
She thinks we are just friends but I want to take this to the next step...any advice?
Q. I met this girl in my college 3 months ago in Canada. She now travels to Japan and study. But we still ongoing keep in touch. We wrote email for each other everyday. We have great conversation. We get along very well. We share a lot common. And I ...
A. 11 January 2009: You should start letting her know by dropping some hints about taking her out on a date when she gets back, things like that. But, hopefully you havent waited too long. You may be in that permanent friend catagory.... (read in full...)
Why do guys not like long distance relationships?
Q. When the girl wants a relationship and guy a agree to do so but it always ends up the guy moving away(to another state). Then he breaks up with the girl because of the long distance...... Why do guys don't like long distance relationships? ...
A. 11 January 2009: Bottom line, they are too hard for guys. And men need the physicalness af a relationship alot more than women. I don't mean sex. We just need the physical contact like holding hands, sitting together and watching TV, that kind of stuff. Women like ... (read in full...)
Why is does my ex keep calling so much if I'm just his friend?
Q. Hi, I was trying to keep a friendship with my ex bf (he broke it off) but it was just too emotionally draining. I still wanna be with him and love him, but he said he doesn't want a relationship at all right now, or maybe never. He gives me mixed ...
A. 11 January 2009: Dont let him drive you crazy. Friendships after relationships are just too hard, thats just the truth. There are some people like hime who can do it for a while though. Those people frustrate me. I think you should tell him how you feel and ask him ... (read in full...)
Am I paranoid here...or is he cheating on me?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 months. We have had our ups and down, but who hasn't. I love his guy a whole lot. But, lately, things haven't been adding up. His sister is telling me stuff about him that I rather not have known, ...
A. 11 January 2009: There might not be another girl. In fact, except for a little flirting he is probably not cheating,... yet. Sounds like you need to ask him to sit and have a conversation with you. And just ask him whats going on. I have to admit that it doesnt ... (read in full...)
His ex gf's back! What should I do?
Q. i have been dating this guy for almost 3 years we met when i was going though a divorce and after the loss of my 24 yr old son. He really helped me alot. he was separated from his girlfriend at the time. We started off as friends but i fell in love ...
A. 11 January 2009: Well, this is a difficult situation. That "I will always love my ex" crap pisses me off. That means he never got over her and you could be outa luck. Give him a couple weeks from the time he started talking with her, actually maybe just a week. Then ... (read in full...)
What kind of topics do girls like to discuss?
Q. i have a very close female friend. We talk alot, how do i talk to her on a personal level. We talk at least once every 2days and phone conversations last 1-2hours each time. I just want to get closer to her by talking about everything. I don't know ...
A. 11 January 2009: Dont worry about deep conversations. It sounds like you guys do fine as it is. What are you wanting to tell her? It sounds as though you are wanting to tell her you like her much more than a friend. If thats true then just tell her the best way you ... (read in full...)
My Bf' is 15 and is having erection problems! Help!
Q. My boyfriend and I are both 15. We have had sex once before. (Please dont post anything saying im to young,im being very responsible and i love him and know what im doing) The bad thing is that tonight, we were going to do it again but he couldnt ...
A. 11 January 2009: Actually, age might be part of the reason. Not being too young to know what you are doing, but your bodies not being ready to handle it yet. I don't know about you but being a guy at 15 means you have a hard on most of the time with no control over ... (read in full...)
How can one use somebody for sex and NOT feel guilty??
Q. How do guys (or girls) who use someone for sex, sleep at night? I mean honestly I just dont understand how they can use someone for sex and not feel guilty at all. What makes them think its OK to use someone like that? What goes on in there mind? ...
A. 2 May 2008: I agree Tilly, there are different types of people. There are the young and stupid, and there are the older wiser ones who still act that way. No, I see nothing wrong if someone just wants casual sex. But why do they have to pretend to like you to ... (read in full...)
I fancy my best friend but I only want him as a friend?
Q. Well, Quite A Long Story, But Here Goes. Basically, I Think I Fancie My Best Friend [Who Is A Boy.] I Don't Know Where These Feelings Have Come From, He's In My Tutor Group At School, So I See Him Every Day. Plus He Is In A Play That I'm In To...
A. 14 April 2008: Dont feel bad for liking somebody. I think its really cool of you to not act on it because your friend is with him. But, if he was single then you should ask him out. Why not if he doesnt have a girlfriend? You never know, he may like you too. What ... (read in full...)
I love her but feel that it might be hard to trust her again.
Q. Hey guys, Ive been goin out with my g/f for 1 year 1 month now, apart from in december when we had a break, which on the whole was successful. I knew she fancied another guy in this time and had "pecked" him. I found out recently that they had se...
A. 4 April 2008: Damn, the exact same thing happened to me at the exact same time. You are not going to trust her for a while. I am slowly getting back to trusting mine, but it's gonna be a while. I don't know, I just wanted to relate. You are like ten years younger ... (read in full...)
I think I depend on my boyfriend too much!! How do I stop being so clingy?
Q. I'm really down. I feel like I depend on my boyfriend too much. I really love him and he's so important to me. But I hate that I think so much about him and that I rely on him so much. To the point that when he gets mad at me, I get really, really ...
A. 4 April 2008: I am going through the exact same thing with my girl in reverse. I care and depend on her way more I think than she does me. And my brain just cant rap around the idea that she keeps a life seperate from me. I meen, I always want to see her and talk ... (read in full...)
My nan and his pop are first cousins! Would this affect any future children we may have?
Q. Please help. my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years and have just found out that my nan and his pop are 1st cousins. we are devestated and wondering what problems there will be if we decide to stay together and have children??? ...
A. 2 April 2008: There may only be a problem if you are BLOOD related. I think you guys are ok generation wise. Really, that kind of thing happens alot more than you think. I say just keep that info under your hat and move on with your relationship.... (read in full...)
How much porn is too much?
Q. Hi. I am 37 with two kids. My husband and I have know each other for 16 years and married for 8 years. Recently I've discovered he watches pornography every day via a free internet video. I wouldn't care if our sex life even existed but it ...
A. 2 April 2008: You pretty much answered your question, kind of. He watches alot of porn because you guys dont have sex. And add a stress filled job on top and little time and you have a man that needs that release alot just to relax and feel good for a minute. ... (read in full...)
Please read my beautiful fairytale like short story, and please help me if you can
Q. i am a 25 year old single, never been married before man. i am currently involved in a social/physical realtionship with a 38 year old married woman with 2 kids ( 8 and 15 ). we will have been together for nearly 3 years at the end of this year. ...
A. 2 April 2008: The one thing I agree with the most that Oldersister said, is that you are in wayyyyyyy over your head. The responsibility you say you want to take on is enormous. But if you must go forward I say the first thing you should do is get a much better ... (read in full...)
Now, I think I want my ex back!
Q. I am pretty sure that I will be leaving my live-in. We have been together off and on for five years. Me bending over backwards, finally giving in. We have never done 'couple activities', besides going out to eat 7 times in those years. Ho...
A. 2 April 2008: Wow. It sounds like you didnt listen to your heart and waited too long. Remember the reasons you are apart and then remember the good stuff. If the the good stuff outways the other then deffinitely try. Just remember that those things you didnt like ... (read in full...)
Please help me sort my boyfriend out!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating this guy for almost three years. He is sweet and good hearted and I love being around him. However, in the beginning I was able to overlook problems that are now a huge concern for me. First, my boyfriend is ve...
A. 2 April 2008: It's actually typical. Most people overlook things for a while thinking they will change or get better. You are at the good stage now. I say that because now is when you decide if you truly love him enough to look past his problems and even take ... (read in full...)
Crush on a teacher gone way too far!
Q. I hope someone can get their head round this because I cant! So i've known this guy for years, he's 23 years older than me, he was my teacher years ago, we had a business together and we've spent so much time chatting over the years - He was m...
A. 2 April 2008: I have to be honest, I have never understood attractions between people of such a great age difference. And unfortunately they usually don't pan out. Believe it or not, age is NOT just a number. It makes a difference and not just in an intellectual ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher like me or am I confusing these signs?...
Q. Dear Cupid There is this teacher in my school. He is alot older than me but I have the feeling he's attracted to me he messes with other girls but I think he likes me. Here are a few things he has done: 1. If the desk infront of me is empty ...
A. 11 February 2008: Seriously, i'm not sure I believe this anymore. I think this is an adult pulling our legs to see how far he/she gets with it. Sorry, it's just too much right out the movies too believe anymore. I can't imagine anyone being this stupid now a days. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell who's my baby's father?
Q. I had sex in May, and again on June 7 and I am pregnant and due to have the baby on February 25, I am trying to figure out who the father would be?...
A. 8 February 2008: I would say it's the May guy if the Feb. date is accurate. But the only sure way is a blood test. I know you don't want people thinking bad things of you, but I think you are gonna have to come clean on this because this is too important.... (read in full...)
Should he be so flirty with her?
Q. I’ve a question, what would you think about the following situation? Ok I was looking at some past chat logs on my bf's computer (I wouldn’t normally, just I really don’t trust the girl he was talking to). My bf isn’t naturally very flirty yet he f...
A. 8 February 2008: You know, my gf flirts online alot. I didnt like it at first but then after a while I realized that it is just a fun outlet for her. Ultimately she wouldn't do anything. I still dont like it and she has gotten away from it. Guys are a little ... (read in full...)
Are my two best friends lesbian/bisexual?
Q. Okay, i apologize that this may be kinda long. Okay, so i have two best friends, lets call them...Paige and Mary (:/). My friend paige has a boyfriend which shes had for 3 or 4 monthes and is very "touchy" with. i dont think shes THAT into h...
A. 8 February 2008: Look, no matter how curious you are or what your motives are, if you press the issue it just makes you look like you're just being nosy. The point is you are not supposed to know untill they tell you. If they ever do. If you here other people ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher like me or am I confusing these signs?...
Q. Dear Cupid There is this teacher in my school. He is alot older than me but I have the feeling he's attracted to me he messes with other girls but I think he likes me. Here are a few things he has done: 1. If the desk infront of me is empty ...
A. 8 February 2008: He is being flirtatious with you, but you just cant go that way right now. The trouble both of you could be in is so great. you gotta wait til you're 18. Besides, its innocent flirting right now so just leave it at that. When he comes up to you and ... (read in full...)
How to make my face look a bit older?
Q. i am about 5'3 and my body has altegether almost finnished devolping (i have a period) but i still have a baby face !!! it looks silly when will my adult face come all my freinds have theres i feel like the odd one out the bunch. can anyone give me ...
A. 5 February 2008: trust me. when you get older and you still have a baby face youre gonna love it. dont worry about looking older just have a good time being young for now. ... (read in full...)
Are we inhibiting ourselves from "getting over it"
Q. so my exboyfriend and i still have feelings for eachother. we broke up cuz of distance n the fact that our lives might be moving in different directions n shit. but so when we travel n visit eachother (its been about 6 months) we still have a really ...
A. 5 February 2008: So why be broke up? If you both really like each other and really like the time together then just have a long distance thing. People do it all the time, I do. If you both still want to see each other but cant be faithful to each other then have ... (read in full...)
Are my two best friends lesbian/bisexual?
Q. Okay, i apologize that this may be kinda long. Okay, so i have two best friends, lets call them...Paige and Mary (:/). My friend paige has a boyfriend which shes had for 3 or 4 monthes and is very "touchy" with. i dont think shes THAT into h...
A. 5 February 2008: Yea, it seems like you are trying to out them if it is true and thats not cool. I dont know your reason for wanting to know, but basically if one or both is your friend then just leave them be. If they want to tell you they will. There may not be ... (read in full...)
Is the feeling mutual?
Q. Me and this guy text each other a lot, like all day every day, and we have been physical once. We have very sexual conversation all the time. He's very shy and he doesn't make the first move ever, on anyone. I've known him for a few years, and ...
A. 5 February 2008: The only thing you can do is tell him. He is the only one that has your answer. After that, if you both know you like each other, then you have to figure out what it is. Is it just a sexual thing or do both of you want to try something more serious ... (read in full...)
The spark is gone. What do I do?
Q. My Boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and have been living together for 4 years! I went to go and stay with him while i was still im matric! For a few weeks now I have been Having doubts about our relationship, I'm only 20 and he ...
A. 5 February 2008: You know what, for about the next 4 to 7 years you are gonna be thinking like this. You are right, you are probably too young to be tied down at this point. And He is just at a way different point in his life then you are and frankly he should have ... (read in full...)
Can I trust my boyfriend, or are my parents right about him?
Q. Hi My bf and i have been through alot of trouble to be together and my parents are the ones giving us the trouble. I love him with all of my heart and would never cheat on him or do anything that would jeopardise our relationship. His birthday was ...
A. 4 February 2008: Sounds like he is not ready for an open honest relationship. He may not be doing anything bad, but the point is he is being to secretive about it. You need to talk with him and tell him how you feel. Tell him all you want is to be the person he ... (read in full...)
Seven weeks pregnant-should I get an abortion?
Q. hi, i am really looking for some advice. I am 21 years old a single parent of 1 little girl aged 21 months, I have recently found out that i am 7 weeks pregnant i have only been with my partner for 3 months and i dont think the relationship is going ...
A. 4 February 2008: yea, this is tuff. Me and my ex got pregnant too soon in our relationship and we were a little young and in no position to care for a child. So after alot of talking and soul searching we decided to abort. It's been 10 years since and we are not ... (read in full...)
Am I too tight for sex??
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, I'm 16, female, and have been dating a guy who I really care about for 2 years. The problem I have has nothing to do with him, it's with me. He really wants to have sex, and I know I'm ready too, but I just can't make myself do i...
A. 4 February 2008: Ok, well sometimes a girls body is not physically ready for sex yet even as old as 18 or so. Everyone matures differently. But I also have heard that you should try with your own finger when you are alone to loosten up yourself. But, if it is too ... (read in full...)
How far is to far? and what do I get him?
Q. How far is too far in a relationship, if your in highschool? And What Do I Get him For Valentines day?...
A. 4 February 2008: That depends on what your talking about. Just don't do anything that you are not 100 percent sure about. Also if it's something that would make your parents cry then dont do that either. Also, get him a card and a teddy bear. Honestly he probably ... (read in full...)
My first time wans't god. Did we do it right?
Q. hi im 16 years old ill be 17 shortly ive been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now and recently losy my virginity with him it was his first time to! as we were doing it i relaxed a bit as ive read its beter if we are relaxed but im not too s...
A. 4 February 2008: Wow, is he really small? I mean you should have felt something. Have you tried doing things to yourself to make sure you are ok down there? It may have been numb maybe but I haven't heard such a thing. I am not a woman so i'm just guessing at some ... (read in full...)
How Can I kick the strip club habit?
Q. I am trying to kick going to the strip club and be with my wife instead all of the time. I am hung up on sex all the time. I don't know what to do. The girl I was emailing has stopped now that she knows I was looking for a relationship. She just ...
A. 4 February 2008: With those kind of thoughts it sounds like you may need some professional help. Nothing serious but just a person to help you get your mind straight. But, at one point you were attracted to your wife that way. Try to get that feeling back between ... (read in full...)
How can I convince him we can make this work long distance??
Q. My boyfriend just informed yesterday that he was supposed to be moving to New Brunswick today, and I live in Toronto. He told me that he's moving to New Brunswick and that he's ending what we have because he believes it's not easy to keep a long d...
A. 24 January 2008: You both are right. It is very hard even for us older folks to have a long distance one. And youre right, if you guys really want to try you could have a chance. But, as hard as it might be, I would say just letting each other go for now might be ... (read in full...)
I had to let him walk away...but I love him so much and want him back.Help!
Q. My boyfriend and I were together for a year and just split up recently. I am in my late twenties; ten years younger than him. In the beginning, he pursued me strongly. I wanted to start slow. When we were together, we were great and got along ...
A. 23 January 2008: You know it's strange. I am in the same boat more or less. She split with me after a year and of course I want her back. But telling her that would not help it would only make things worse. So, I kept in touch but not much. In fact if you can help ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher like me or am I confusing these signs?...
Q. Dear Cupid There is this teacher in my school. He is alot older than me but I have the feeling he's attracted to me he messes with other girls but I think he likes me. Here are a few things he has done: 1. If the desk infront of me is empty ...
A. 16 January 2008: This happens all the time. The best thing to do is leave it alone. People get in alot of trouble over stuff like this. Girls mature faster than guys, so it's natural for you to find older men attractive. But, you just cant do anything like that. If ... (read in full...)
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