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female
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anonymous
writes:How do guys (or girls) who use someone for sex, sleep at night? I mean honestly I just dont understand how they can use someone for sex and not feel guilty at all. What makes them think its OK to use someone like that? What goes on in there mind? Even if they dont care about the person they are using, how can that make it any easier to use them?Your thoughts? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 They are the low life sub species of the human kind ,
more akin to animals than human beings.
They get what they want by hook or crook.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Men are programmed to want to have as many conquests as possible, whatever the consequences. A lot of times (for both genders) the thrill is in the chase more than in the having.
Women are programmed to fall for player tactics. It's not PC to say this but it's true. (List the character traits in a man that women find sexiest, and then list the traits in a man that are red flags for a player. It's almost all the same list.)
It's up to all decent men to fight their natural urges, and try to refrain from playing women.
It's up to all decent women to fight their natural urges, and try to refrain from letting themselves get played.
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male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 There is a way you can use somebody for sex and not feel bad about it. It's called having no heart and no conscience.
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female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 There are just people in this world, that like to intentionally hurt others for self-gain and their own gratification....plain and simple. These people choose 'their needs' over others. As LazyGuy pointed out, criminals have this mindset. They feel entitled to taking anything they want without being responsible for the pain they cause. So what one does, is stay rational and use their head when entering into a possible relationship with anyone. One learns to 'read' these people when they come in your life. They are manipulative and they display immature, unaccountable behaviors, in other aspects of their lives, You watch and learn and go slow. To me, people like this--stick out like a 'sore thumb' because they themselves have no sensibility or life values..they have excuses for their own inappropriate behaviors and that of others. Values and rules of life help a person develop good character and give one the ability to be strong and use compassion with others. These people just don't have that.
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 It would be nice if we could take everyone in the world at face value- car salesmen, loan officers, dating prospects, companies we work for but if you are not going to get screwed over continually, you have a responsibility to take the time to know what you are getting into. Once you sign on the dotted line, you sealed the deal and agreed to the terms. People work in their "own best interest", including you. It's in your own best interest to not jump in the sack with every guy that claims to love you if you want a quality relationship. Why is it their responsibility to look after what you expect? You don't sign paperwork based on what the person tells you, you read it over and gather the facts and compare it to what else is out there- that should be your approach to getting to know people as well- do their actions match their words? Is it realistic that some guy I'm seeing tells me he loves me after only a couple of weeks- could their be another agenda behind that? The only one not going to be sleeping at night, riddled with why everyone is evil, will be you if you don't start protecting yourself!
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reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 Simple, the same way people can rob other people, hurt them etc etc. Some people just don't care about others.
The trick for the rest of us is to learn to spot these people and stay away from them. It ain't that hard, just listen to those around and stop thinking you know better or that you can 'change him'.
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female
reader, lexilou  + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 Some people can quite easily jump into bed with anyone and others need a relationship and a bit of loving to give themselves in that way. At the end of the day if a man is up for it he wont get anywhere without the womens agreement and some men might easily lie to get what they want and then move on to the next victim. There are probably women who do the same thing. In my experience you can tell these types long before you take your pants off x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies.
But what I meant more so,(which I wasnt very clear about, sorry) was when someone uses someone else for sex knowing that that person would be hurt because they see sex as something to be done in a commited relatonship.
for example, a guy knows a girl who believes sex should be saved for when you are in love, so then he says 'i love you' and tries to act like he loves her, to get her into bed, then once hes got that, he dumps her. So he clearly knows this would hurt her feelings but he still does it.
I understand some people liek casual sex and thats ok but WHY bring those who dont like it, into it? why cant they stick to other people who want casual sex? why go and lie and hurt others? this frustrates me.
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reader, 2old4this + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 I agree Tilly, there are different types of people. There are the young and stupid, and there are the older wiser ones who still act that way. No, I see nothing wrong if someone just wants casual sex. But why do they have to pretend to like you to get it? There are plenty of men AND women who want it so why cant they stick to themselves and then leave the rest alone?
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female
reader, Aunt tilly +, writes (2 May 2008):
 I beleive its everyone to there own on this subject as there are those who see nothing wrong in it and lead quite happy lives. On the other hand there are those of us who would,nt dream of it. If you the kind of person who prefers a relationship with someone in order to sleep with them then this is fine just keep to your own principles of what you want. I don,t think there,s anything abnormal about casual sex, maybe people who do lead there lives that way just dont want the emotional bit of committment or are frightened of falling in love.
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female
reader, bubbalicious +, writes (2 May 2008):
 sex is a physical act and it is a need. lots of people set out to get sex..not to say that is only men who use for sex because plenty of women do also i do not say this in a religious way but in the bible it says that when man and wife have sex they become 1 flesh. women can form this bond of "1 flesh" much easier than men and it can be difficult to understand but such is life. Those that use for sex..it is for their own ends and i no people who do. i myself do not but you must be aware that in this day and age people do do it.to be used is hurtful but lots of people are genuine.xxx
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reader, TELLULAH + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 I have wondered this myself. But I think that its just a case of one person will get attached and the other wont. I have always thought that sex should be with a person that you love, but many of my friends would not agree, and think its fine to have casual no strings sex.
I think if you feel as I do, then dont sleep with anyone to soon. Get to know them first and then decide if you want to go that bit further.
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reader, lovelee +, writes (2 May 2008):
I am not claiming to be a love expert but this saying is a good one: Men look for sex and find love. Women look for love and find sex.
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