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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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He said that "pulling out" would work but I'm not so sure... ?
Q. Im a freshman at my school and i just met dis guy friend dis past year and i guess were more than friends now because we just had sex without protection but he said "pulling out" would work. But im a little nervous......
A. 12 August 2007: "as much use as a chocolate saucepan" - hilarious!!
Just like everyone else has said, pulling out is NOT a good method of birth control. You can absolutely still get pregnant - in fact, I have a friend who just got pregnant making the same mis... (read in full...)
What should a wife do when her husband is going to prostitutes?
Q. What should a wife do when her husband is going to prostitutes?...
A. 12 August 2007: She should realize that she's deserves a husband who is completely loyal to her and let him know what a pig he is. Is your husband doing this behind your back? Confront him! Let him know that you know!
Also, go get checked immediately. Hopefull... (read in full...)
My mum is about to find out I smoke and will go mental. What can I do?
Q. I really dont know what to do!!! It's not a relationship question but I'm proper panicking. I started smoking a few week ago with my friends when out and about and hanging out and I think I have become addicted. I am trying to stop and for it not t...
A. 12 August 2007: Hi sweetness,
Let me tell you... I was just about your age when I smoked my first cigarette because of my friends. I should have stopped then, like I STRONGLY suggest you do. I kept it a secret for a long time, even though I would only smoke oc... (read in full...)
Should I have sex before I'm married?
Q. Okay I need help from all the other Christians!! I have a problem and it is really worrying me. I am a Christian and I really want to wait until I am married to have sex, but, I am worried that I will be tempted. And I want to do the right thing by ...
A. 6 August 2007: Hi there sweetness,
I agree with Dr. Pete, I do think you should go onto a Christian website. I'm a Christian, but I am also VERY VERY VERY liberal in my beliefs. However, I believe that you should be true to whatever beliefs YOU have because ... (read in full...)
Why do people think being a virgin at 20 is a problem? IS it a problem??
Q. This isn't a problem, its a question! But why do so many people think that being 20 and a virgin such a big problem?? And why do all the teenagers think they have to have sex at like 14, 15??...
A. 6 August 2007: Amen sister....
all these young kids having sex!! Foolishness, if you ask me. If you remember being a teen, like I do - teenagers can be so head-strong... trying to cope with individuality, trying to fit in and be accepted, hormones raging, ... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and married... how do I become friends with this guy I like without either of us thinking the other wants more?
Q. hi i am 24 and have been married for just under 1 year i love my husband to bits and cant imagine being with out him. but there is a guy i would like to be friends with he works round the corner from our house and he always smiles and says hi. i ...
A. 6 August 2007: Hey sweetness,
You're playing with fire here, sweetness! I think you need to make it VERY clear that you are married so that this gentleman doesn't get any ideas. You don't want to give the wrong impression or else that could make some serious ... (read in full...)
He can't shoot his load after he's gotten loaded at bars!
Q. Every time my boyfriend and I go out to a bar and he drinks a lot when we get home and are having sex he doesn't ejaculate. He stays hard and sometimes we have sex for hours but he never "cums." I always thought it was the opposite. Is it me? ...
A. 6 August 2007: Hi sweetness,
Well, it's definitely not you!! I'm surprised your man can stay hard for that long!! Most men have difficulty getting it up at all after they've been drinking. As Dr. Pete said, this is just how alcohol effects the body.
No worr... (read in full...)
Why do men still mastubrate when they have a very healthy sex life?
Q. I was wondering (my bf cant answer this) why do men still wa*k when they have a very healthy sex life? my bf still mastuerbates up to 3 times a week and we have an incredible sex life. i dont know whether to be insulted or flattered! please help! ...
A. 8 July 2007: Hi sweetness!
Oh, masturbation. Sometimes it's nice to just have "alone time". Seriously! It's a quick fix, it cures boredom (sad, but true), and a great stress reliever.
If his mastubation was excessive (i.e. over ten times a week, I would sa... (read in full...)
I am a fulltime carer, how can I manitain my relationship of 6 years with my boyfriend? we are growing a part each day?
Q. I am a fulltime carer, how can I manitain my relationship of 6 years with my boyfriend? we are growing a part each day? ...
A. 8 July 2007: Like you schedule in your meetings and work and eating and laundry, scheduling in your relationship can be a good way to make sure you set aside time. You sound like you're a busy woman, and good for you for keeping your career!
If you both agr... (read in full...)
Can I lose weight from a healthier diet but no excercise?
Q. I need some advice here. If I just eat less and not excercise will I be able to drop pounds and lose wieght? Will I be able to lose up to 20 pounds?...
A. 29 June 2007: Everyone gave you great advice. I just wanted to stress again that even though eating healthy is great, and it'll help you lose weight, if you combine eating healthy AND exercise, you will lose weight MUCH more rapidly, and your body will look much ... (read in full...)
What does their behaviour mean?
Q. What does it mean when a lady touches you on your hand, shoulder, arm, body and strokes your hair, smiling at you, and tries to be close body contact towards you as well constantly looks at you? just wondering, because i encountered this...
A. 29 June 2007: Hi there,
Generally, those are the signs of flirting. However, it's hard to tell when it's girl-to-girl, because some girls are just really affectionate with their girlfriends and mean nothing sexual of it. I know me and my girlfriends used to ... (read in full...)
He never pulls out before he ejacualtes and I don't want another child right now!
Q. My boyfriend always ejaculates in me, unless I tell him specicfically every time "pull out" And it can be that we have sex and I tell him to pull out, and he does then 5 min. later he is ready again, and if I don't tell him to pull out that time ...
A. 28 June 2007: All the Aunt's gave you great advice, but I'm just letting you know that pulling out can STILL get you pregnant. It is no guarantee. There are so many forms of birth control that you could be on. The pill and the condom are not the end all-be all of ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a male friend to ask me about my sexual past?
Q. Today, on the phone I was talking to my boy friend thad. And we got into a convo about sex. and sex jokes and kissing ect... Well we got to laughing a talking about each other. Well he was like asking me if i ever went all the way. And things like ...
A. 28 June 2007: Well, since you were already on the topic of sex, it's no surprise that this came up. So yes, it's normal.
Friends ask each other these questions. However, as YummyMummy says, be careful who you trust with information like this. Sometime... (read in full...)
She had another man's baby aborted and didn't tell me; now I don't trust her
Q. Hello, I am a young undergraduate of physics,I have been dating a girl since the past three years,before i met this girl she was in a relationship with another guy,of which she told me she has broken up with.But later this girl was sick in our y...
A. 28 June 2007: You really need to forgive her.
Abortion is such a personal thing. It's not a joke, it's not something to be taken lightly. It's a major decision that can hurt some people so VERY deeply, that they never want to tell anybody. You need to stop bug... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont buy my car, but I think she should
Q. I recently suggested to my girlfriend that she could buy my car off me in about a year or so when she has passed her test. She hasn't even started learning yet. The car itself is in perfect condition and everyone who sees it wished they had a car ...
A. 28 June 2007: Life is too short to make a big deal about this. PICK YOUR BATTLES, sweetness. You offered, which was nice, and she said no for whatever reason. Sure, the color is a dumb reason not to buy a car, but regardless. She's made up her mind and you need ... (read in full...)
We both cheated, but she got pregnant--she was the worst, right?
Q. My girlfriend has always screwed up things in the relationship and we seperated but still lived together. I cheated a few times and she knew because I stayed out all night. We got back together and started new then we broke up for a week. She ...
A. 28 June 2007: Why even be in this relationship at all? I wouldn't say her crime is WORSE. You could've gotten a girl pregnant, and you cheated first anyways. Not to mention, the two of you were broken up when she went out and had that one night stand, so ... (read in full...)
My girl wants sex all the time, but I don't--I don't know what to do!
Q. I sometimes wonder if my g/f is really serious about being with me, or just wants me for sex. I don't have a high sex drive much anymore, been there, done that so it's not my driving force like it was in my 20's. But she's always horny for me a...
A. 28 June 2007: Hi, sweetness!
Well, I wouldn't say either of your are weird. Both of you just have different sex drives - both are normal.
To be honest, I can't see this relationship working itself out. Sex is a pretty big thing that both partners have to... (read in full...)
Do even guys with attractive girlfriends check out other women?
Q. To sexy girls: do your boyfriends still look at other women? I'm in a new relationship and afraid of ruining it with my jealousy. In the past I always had boyfriends who looked at other women a lot and they would also comment on my weight and ...
A. 28 June 2007: Hey babe,
I'm a sexy girlfriend (at least, I'd like to think so), and yeah... men will always check out chicks. Just the same way that I will casually check out that Johnny Depp lookalike strolling down the other side of the street.
I reali... (read in full...)
Are there any concerns with having sex doggy style?
Q. Guys, I just want to know the disadvantage of doing doggy style position because every time my boyfriend and I do it, we really enjoy it...but I just want to know is it ok or will it be bad for me?...
A. 27 June 2007: If you're not getting hurt (sometimes it can go a little deep and hurt for some women), then GO FOR IT. Doggy style is my personal favorite... I love it! There's nothing wrong with it, you won't be in any danger from it...
Just enjoy yourselv... (read in full...)
I can't imagine not wanting sex so I would imagine if I could just get her to want it more, we could both be happier!
Q. Hi, I'm married over 10 years now and love my wife very much. Lately, however, I have been feeling like I'm getting a bit old and wanting more sex to compensate. I fear having a dull, brother/sister type marriage. I'm extremely sexual and could have ...
A. 27 June 2007: Twice a week sounds pretty decent to me! That seems like a healthy number.
Can I ask you a few questions? I'm wondering if you're setting up the romantic "mood" for her. (Most) women can't just get right into it like so many men can. Like a car, m... (read in full...)
My 3 female fellow students want the 4 of us to go on holiday together but I don't think my girlfriend is too keen on the idea seeing as she wouldn't be going.
Q. Hi! I ask to get some opinions. I study maths and have three female fellow students I used to learn with for the past two years. My girlfriend of just over two years studies history at the same university. She knows this friend. And all of those ...
A. 27 June 2007: Hi sweetness,
The other Aunt's gave you great advice... I'm just backing them up. Let me tell you, if my boyfriend said that he was going to go on an out-of-the-country holiday with three girls (who are going without their boyfriends), I wouldn't... (read in full...)
I don't know if she likes me or is using me but I need to find a way to get a definite yes or no or a yes with a timescale like when she will be ready!
Q. So I've liked this girl since August. We've met for lunch once and it was awkward. I let her know how I felt towards her before this. But then lately I have had to visit her work a lot and she has just smiled and talked very quietly to me. Then ...
A. 27 June 2007: Well, sweetness... I think you need to be hoenst with this girl about how you really feel. You say that you like her, and yet when she asked if you did, you denied it!! There's your problem, buddy!
She's probably pretty confused by your response... (read in full...)
I don't know if he really likes me or wants me just for sex and I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
Q. I am a 16 year old virgin and don't know if I'm ready to have sex or not! I love my boyfriend to death, I've been with him for four months already and he's always asking me if I want to do it but I know I'm not ready. I'm scared if i don't do it ...
A. 27 June 2007: Hi sweetness,
I don't like the sound of this guy... he seems a little too determined to get into your pants. You should be with a man who respects you and let's you set the pace for physical stuff. YOU should be calling the shots here and only doi... (read in full...)
Can the DearCupid men elaborate on their views on porn?
Q. Hi, I just read some answers to a question that was posted about porn and some answers from you guys were that men look at porn stars who are completely different for what they go for in real life and it's not a threat at all to their partner. ...
A. 27 June 2007: Just wanted to throw this in. (I know I'm a girl... sorry.)
If a guy were dating a Jenna Jameson (porn star, in case you're not familiar), I guarentee he'd still be looking at porn.
And, as a lady I'm just as bad. I'm drooling all over Johnny ... (read in full...)
Does DearCupid have a leftist, liberal bias?
Q. hello everyone, over the past month i have seen your site. it is a great site for exploring relationship, sexual or confidence problems. however, i have been skeptical. I have one critism that might be apparent. getting a little off topic, le...
A. 27 June 2007: It's hard to say that this site has ANY views, because the site is filled with individuals giving opinions. You can judge all you'd like the people giving advice, but you can't call the entire site "left" OR "right". Every Aunt on here comes from ... (read in full...)
I'm just about to turn 17 - is it possible that I'll have another growth spurt?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 turning 17 in august. I have a concern about my height. I'm just over 5ft 10 and wonder if I'll grow anymore, maybe to 6ft. The reason being is that there are some of my friends that are quite tall and I get a bit intimiated and e...
A. 26 June 2007: Hey sweetness,
I wouldn't give up hope yet. You're not done growing and it's quite possible that you'll spring up another couple of inches. I don't want to give you false hope, but my ex boyfriend, when he was 16 he was a little on the short si... (read in full...)
He's been with someone else the whole 5 years I've been with him. Should I stay with someone who has lied to me all this time?
Q. Well im a 26 year old who was with someone who is 39 and we've known each other for about 5 years. we have been together 3 years and i recently got a phone call from a woman who told me they have been together for 9 years. He admitted they were ...
A. 23 June 2007: Hi there sweetness,
No way should you continue to see this guy! You don't deserve to be lied to... and since he found it so easy to lie to you for all five years you knew each other, what makes you think he's not lying about more things, or will ... (read in full...)
Is it considered slutty to sleep with someone a week into a relationship when one of them is a virgin?
Q. I need peoples opinions here... Do u think its slutty to sleep with someone a week into the relationship, if one of the people are virgins? ....If yes what do you think is an apropriate amount of time to wait?...
A. 19 June 2007: Do I think it's slutty? No. Do I think it's smart? No.
I made my boyfriend wait for three months before I let him sample the goods, and I was a virgin. I wanted to make sure that he was in for the longhaul and not just after booty. Those first fe... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but I slept with a girlfriend of mine! They both want me, what should I do?
Q. i've had a bf for 3 yrs he's sweet and adores me. earlier this year i met an old school friend, that night we went out and later came back to mine. her names emma and we slept together that night. we then met regularly and got very passionate.i ...
A. 18 June 2007: "God didn't make Adam and Steve", I hate this phrase. Sorry, Anon, but I'm a spiritual woman who doesn't think that God cares who we love as long as we love.
But otherwise, Anon gav eyou great advice. You should look into your heart and decide f... (read in full...)
They said if I don't break up with her, I'l regret it. What should I do?
Q. i have been going out with my girlfriend for 6 months and we know each other fairly well. however a few weeks ago i went to a party with her that was with people she mostly knew. this included some guys a few years older than me (i'm 20 she's 18...
A. 18 June 2007: Oh my God!!
What jerks! Good Lord, they beat you up?? I actually think that you should tell your gilrfriend what her so-called "friends" did to you. If she doesn't believe you, well... I think she might. This might not be the first time her jerk... (read in full...)
After 5 years I am still completely crazy about him. Do I ust forget him?
Q. With pain and in tears I'm writing this, feeling like my world has been torn to pieces. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We are both young (20 and 21), probably too youngh but it did work out well, we both love each other deeply and we ...
A. 18 June 2007: Hooray, girl!
Good for you! Enjoy the Netherlands... I'm jealous, I wish I could go!!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
She's a lesbian and I love her but I'm not ready to come out of the closet.
Q. dear cupid, a good friend of over 3 years has just come out and has now said that she is in love with me and has been for a while..we are now involved in a very intense relationship, we have a major problem, she wants me to come out, and i told her ...
A. 18 June 2007: I agree with Flowergirl. If you two are involved with each other and your feelings for each other are SERIOUS, then I should think you'd be thrilled and ready to tell your friends about it. I understand if you want to wait a few weeks, but if you ... (read in full...)
This girl I know makes confusing references to sex..what am I to make of her?
Q. A North American girl I am working with everyday keeps making references to a question someone asked her: her exact words are "he asked me how much I could take", meaning, how many times she could have intercourse in a row. Then, she suddenly says ...
A. 17 June 2007: Hi there,
Well, this girl sounds a little bizarre. Some girls are a little more brash than others. She seems the type who thinks that cheap pick up lines are funny. If that's just not your sense of humor, she's probably not exactly your "type". ... (read in full...)
He said that work pressured him to watch the freak sex show, I dont believe him, what do you think ?
Q. if u heard that ur bf says that work has pressured him into going in and watching a freak sex show while being on his company trip, would u believe him that he was pressured and gave in or not? cause i don't, i have never let someone pressure...
A. 14 June 2007: Hi there, sweetness,
No, I'm not a guy but here's my thoughts anyways...
First off, I almost want to believe your boyfriend. It seems like a 'men-on-company-trip' kind of thing to do, go to some sleezy freak sex show. And, there can be a l... (read in full...)
This is my last term at school.Should I kiss this guy I'm totally in-love with on the last day?
Q. This is my last term at school.Should I kiss this guy I'm totally in-love with on the last day? Please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Answer my questions....
A. 12 June 2007: I don't think you should just up and kiss him. That's pretty forward! I think that perhaps you should learn the fine art of flirting... approach him, maybe. Let him know that you like him, but I think that laying a smooch on him might scare him a ... (read in full...)
my girlfriend has never found it easy to orgasam with her partners but has done so on several occasions with me. However, what upsets me is that she never fails to when she is using a vibrator.
Q. Dear Cupid, my girlfriend has never found it easy to orgasam with her partners but has done so on several occasions with me. However, what upsets me is that she never fails to when she is using a vibrator. Is this normal, should we be able to work ...
A. 12 June 2007: Hi there,
Ahhh, the vibrator.
Don't feel bad. I can not stress this enough, don't feel bad. When a girl (or a guy) is handling things on their own, they always orgasm. Isn't it true that whenever you masturbate, you can make yourself orgasm?... (read in full...)
13 and feeling broody... how can I get over these feelings?
Q. im 13 years old and i know it sound stupid but im really broody. i really want a baby and its getting me down. im not going to have one till im older though, because thats the right thing to do. please help me?? is there anything i can do to make me ...
A. 11 June 2007: Everyone else gave you great advice, I'm just throwing another little somethin-somethin into the mix.
I love babies, and I've always wanted one of my own. But, like you, I have always known that I would wait until I was much older and ready to... (read in full...)
Does anal sex hurt?
Q. me and my boyfriend want to have anal sex does it hurt?...
A. 10 June 2007: Hey sweetness,
Yeah... yeah, it does hurt. If you're planning on doing this, I'd do a little research first so that you're properly prepared.
I found some decent websites on this topic. Copy and paste the links onto your browser and mayb... (read in full...)
My gf suddenly decided to make the trip, without me! I thought that was mean. Does she care?
Q. Am i being silly or is there something wrong? i've been dateing my girlfriend 3 months shes 20 nearly 21 i've just turned 25 since i turned 25 on the 6th of june my girl as been acting werld towards me like the day of my birthday she was totta...
A. 9 June 2007: After reading this, it seems to me that your girlfriend tried to be as nice as she could about this. You seemed to be kind of inviting yourself along on what is clearly, a family event. Father's Day can be very special for families to spend ... (read in full...)
Why shouldn't kids ages 11-13 be dating?
Q. why shouldn't kids ages 11-13 be dating? i mean is it okay if you don't get to destracted with him/her?...
A. 9 June 2007: Hi sweetness,
That call is always left up to your parents. Boyfriends (and girlfriends, but let's just say boyfriends from now on.) CAN be really distracting, even if you don't think they will be. Also, boyfriends usually mean some sort of physi... (read in full...)
What do women 'really' think about blowjobs and swallowing semen?
Q. I'm wandering what women think of performing oral sex on men? Do women actually spend time thinking about or desiring to do it or is it merely something they do for the pleasure of their man? I know it varies from person to person but I kno...
A. 9 June 2007: I know you don't want to hear that it varies from person to person, but there's no other way arounder it - it does. Every woman, just like every man is different in their tastes. (Hard to believe, but some guys hate going down on women. Hate it! ... (read in full...)
After 5 years I am still completely crazy about him. Do I ust forget him?
Q. With pain and in tears I'm writing this, feeling like my world has been torn to pieces. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We are both young (20 and 21), probably too youngh but it did work out well, we both love each other deeply and we ...
A. 7 January 2007: Hey sweetness - again,
Okay, I don't think his mother is right in saying that all men are unfaithful. And no, I don't think you should stay with him and allow him to go out and play around on the sly. No. No. If he's with you, he is with YOU. And... (read in full...)
After 5 years I am still completely crazy about him. Do I ust forget him?
Q. With pain and in tears I'm writing this, feeling like my world has been torn to pieces. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We are both young (20 and 21), probably too youngh but it did work out well, we both love each other deeply and we ...
A. 6 January 2007: Oh, sweetness.
I'm so sorry.
I can see where he's coming from. He's been seeing you since he was 15-16? So both of you have been in a really serious and committed relationship with each other during the time most other people are dating aroun... (read in full...)
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