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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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What do you want, or look for in a relationship?
Q. For all you girls and guys out there what do you want or look for in a relationship?...
A. 6 December 2007: I want someone who can be my best friend AND a great boyfriend. I want someone who can make me laugh and smile, who kisses me sweetly and who hugs me tightly. I want someone who I can have fun with in the bedroom - someone who I can make love to and ... (read in full...)
My penis is 5.5. Is this wierd?
Q. Hi, I am 17 years old, a virgin, and I am unsure about what to think of my penis size etc. It's 5.5inches long, and 5.5inches in girth... Is this weird/normal and what would girls think about this? Also, I have tried on a regular condom before, ...
A. 6 December 2007: HAHAHAH, Uncle Phil. Man, he always has the best things to say.
Oh, and you're fine, 5.5 in girth?? Man, that sounds pretty amazing. Seriously, thickness is really the key, not the length (if you ask me). A nice thick penis is the best kind.
... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of stretch marks?
Q. dear cupid is their any way to get rid of stretch marks, as i have lost a bit of weight,(man boobs still visible), but what turns me down is that whenever i pull my shirt up to show people the weight i lost, the stretch marks are always their, pu...
A. 6 December 2007: All great suggestions - just one more thing to add in. Cocoa butter will not completely take them away, but it sure as hell helps! Buy a big ol' bottom of Palmer's Cocoa Butter (there is even some specifically made for stretch marks) and apply twice ... (read in full...)
Am I wierd?
Q. Okay, well heres the deal.. Im an 18 year old guy.. and I recently made friends with an 13 year old girl.. but theres more to it than that. Basically I saw this girl on MySpace, and it said her age was 19.. she looked abit younger but i thought ...
A. 6 December 2007: Be responsible, do what's right and split wit this girl. You are 18, you're an adult - so it's time to act like one. She is only 13 years old! Tell her to find someone her own age and that maybe when she's legal you can think about a relationship. I ... (read in full...)
He didnt include me in his statement about family. He put me separate and I am hurt. Am I being oversensitive?
Q. This question is to all the boyfriends out there...if you are truthful and honest to your girlfriend, and you really love her, wont u say she's a part of your family? My boyfriend didnt do that. We were at a cookout that his friend was having. And ...
A. 6 December 2007: Jebus. I think you're overreacting. I think it's much more meaningful to be last, because it leaves the lasting effect. And, his friends don't know that you're his family. To them family means his mother, his brother, his siblings... not you.
... (read in full...)
My fiancee cheated on me, he said I'm rubbish in bed, we have a baby together but should I leave him?
Q. my fiancee cheated on me with my sister in law at a family party in september, i only just found out by accident when i saw a text she sent him at the time. i took him back because we have 2 year old daughter, but i cant stand him touching me and ...
A. 6 December 2007: Leave him. Don't just stay because of your daughter. Do you really want your daughter growing up with this man? You are leaving him for a good reason. He is a cheater, he is cruel, he is nasty, he is no good for you and your daughter. I agree with ... (read in full...)
My folks think I'm gay!
Q. Alright so I'm looking for advice as to what to do here. My folks think I am gay, I'm not sure why, but it's gotten pretty irritating. They haven't come right out and said it, but I can tell they think it. I came home a couple weeks ago ...
A. 5 December 2007: Sit them down and talk to them about it seriously. If I were you, I would say exactly this:
"Mom, Dad... I have the feeling that you might think I'm gay. Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not. I got a hickey from a girl, it was a one ni... (read in full...)
I'm a member of the clergy and I'm gay. How can I find a gay relationship and be cautious, at the same time?
Q. i am a mmember of the clergy..must be very discreet..not a pedophile but gay..want to have gay relationships with guys of legal age..but must be very very careful..i got burned once when a guy used me to get hush money..i only saw him once..it was ...
A. 5 December 2007: What sort of clergy member are you? Are you a priest, a minister? Because in some denominations it's okay to be gay and a member of the clergy. Perhaps it is time for you to give up your church that you are at now and find a church who will accept ... (read in full...)
I am going to have sex with a guy....I need advice on that and if there is anything I can say to make my friend feel better??
Q. Me and a guy are going to have sex in a few weeks, and i was just wondering if anyone could give me advice..? Also, my friend had sex with this guy and she did this because she thought he liked her and she thought this would bring them closer b...
A. 5 December 2007: Your friend slept with the same guy? Why in the world would you want to (plan on??) sleeping with the same guy when you already know he's a jerk. Don't just have sex with someone. That's not the point of sex. Sex is supposed to be special, between ... (read in full...)
I bought some sex toys for my wife, but she's not interested, am I being selfish ?
Q. i purchased a few sex toys for my wife over a year ago to help spice thing up and she is justed not intrested and keeps saying that she has the real thing and that toys arent her thing. How can i change her mind to at least try it once or am i bei...
A. 5 December 2007: Maybe she's just not into kinky sex. Try something a little tamer, like buy some silk scarves and have some fun with those. Blindfold each other lightly... tie up your hands...
Baby steps, sweetness. Baby steps.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
My wife says she has never masturbated, surely this cant be true or can it?
Q. i have asked my wife to masturbate when we are making love but she told me that she has never masturbated before and that it is not her thing i dont think she is telling me the truth do the question is do all women masturbate and lie about it...
A. 5 December 2007: Hey sweetness,
Not everyone masturbates. Crazy, right? But she isn't a freak, she isn't alone. Buy her a rabbit - one of the really cute ones. Soon she'll be curious and won't be able to resist using it. But don't bother her about it, don't ma... (read in full...)
My hormones are killing me and I want to know if it’s all right for me to date even though I’m still married officially, or is it considered cheating?
Q. I have been separated from my wife for over a year and looking forward to get divorced soon. My question is this: My hormones are killing me and I want to know if it’s all right for me to date even though I’m still married officially, or is it ...
A. 4 December 2007: I agree with 'birdynumnums'. If you two are no longer living together and have no intentions and no possibilities of rekindling your marriage, if you have already settled on the terms of the divorce then it is okay to date. I wouldn't shove it in ... (read in full...)
Do you ever forget your first love??
Q. Hi, i want to ask everyone who has been in love two questions: Do you ever forget your first love? Would you get back with them if you had the chance?...
A. 3 December 2007: hi sweetness,
No, you never really forget your first love. The feelings are so intense and new - how could you possibly forget, bar a nasty case of amnesia??
Would I go out with my first love again? Well... the relationship ended for a reas... (read in full...)
Best gift to give your ex gf on their birthday? I want to win her back.
Q. what is the best gift to buy my ex girlfriend, her bday is in a month and we broke up last week. Im not speaking to her but i want her back. And i would like to give her a gift that would make her smile and happy...
A. 3 December 2007: Do you have any nice pictures of the two of you? get a really nice frame and frame it... put a personal note on the back of the frame. then she'll be reminded of the good memories you have with each other.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Am I too old for him?
Q. hi all I met this guy about 4 weeks ago and everything is good between us we get on and have the same interest in music and films. I'm just worried as I'm 26 and he's 22. Do you think I should end it with him although we get on well, I'm just w...
A. 2 December 2007: Hey sweetness,
I don't think it's a bad age gap at all. If the situation were reversed and HE was 26 and YOU were 22, nobody would think anything of it.
Not a big deal. As long as both of you are on the same page, I think you two will be fine... (read in full...)
How do you help your man through a rough patch...?
Q. Hi all. I will really appreciate any advice or tips you might give. How do you help your man through a rough patch (financial, career issues) that has been going on for months now when you yourself are weighed down by your own problems, ...
A. 2 December 2007: Been there. Actually, I'm there right now. These situations are so tough and can be so stressful. Really, the only think you can do is to support him relentlessly, keep loving him and reassuring him that you love him and that things will get better. ... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to be concerned here?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He's bisexual and I have never had a problem with it. He's never cheated on me with a guy, although in the past he cheated on me twice with the same girl. Anyways, the other night while we were ...
A. 2 December 2007: Penis size talk, well I don't think you have much to be concerned about here. I work at an men's underwear boutique with all gay men (except for one of them) and they talk about the raunchiest things. None of them have ever hooked up... but they ... (read in full...)
Should I back out??
Q. My boyfriend decided to go back to his ex as they have a child, but his ex doesn't want him back do I ask him back out or do I leave it? ...
A. 2 December 2007: Psht, don't give him the honor of coming back to you. He left YOU for another girl. Don't take him back - especially don't ASK for him to come back. If he comes back at all, it should be crawling on his hands and knees asking for forgiveness.
... (read in full...)
Am I rushing into sex??
Q. I have only known my boyfriend for two months,and we only got together a month ago. I am a virgin but he's not. I really love him,and i would have sex with him if he asked me. Am i rushing into things?...
A. 2 December 2007: If it feels at ALL rushed, then yes, you're rushing. I think it's best to wait for a long time because the anticipation is what makes it best. Once you have sex, then you're done. That's the most you can do. And then you can never go back to just ... (read in full...)
My bf wants me to have sex with him next weekend...please help asap.
Q. I am 12 years old and my boyfriend is 15. He told me the other night he wanted to have sex. I was playing around and said yeah ok then he was like do i need to bring condoms. I was like yeah then we didnt do it but still he wants to next weekend. ...
A. 2 December 2007: Ugh, your boyfriend is a creep.
Don't sleep with him. Seriously, please don't. Sex should be something that happens naturally, you shouldn't PLAN it.
I don't want to say "you're too young" because I know that you won't like it. I know you feel ... (read in full...)
Do you think this is really the end??
Q. please help I just split with my boyfriend. Met him earlier after a week of not seeing each other due to my college exams. He barely said a word to me. He is genuinely sick all day from a hangover. He just didn't care whether he saw me or not. I w...
A. 2 December 2007: I have to ask you sweetness, where is the appeal of this guy? He sounds like a creep!! Why would you want to be with him anyways, when he doesn't give you affection, he's ignorant, self-involved, doesn't respect you or care enough to text you ... (read in full...)
Why wont he get the tatoo of his ex's name removed??
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my partner for almost three years now. We are about to buy our first house together. However, he still has his ex partner's name tattooed on his arm. I know they did not split up amicably and wonder why he doesn't ...
A. 1 December 2007: Tattoo removal IS expensive and it is painful. And to get another tattoo, that would also be really expensive. If you want him to remove it so badly, you should offer to at least help him out financially. He can live with it - YOU can't. So I think ... (read in full...)
I think she fancies me...but I don't feel any physical attraction.
Q. I have a problem. There's a christmas party/formal in about 2 weeks and this girl invited me to come with her and some friends. I know it seems harmless, but I think she might fancy me, she's always talking to me on messenger, and last night my...
A. 1 December 2007: Well, sometimes the physical part will grow with time - especially if you like her personality. Sometimes as you grow closer to a person, they become more and more attractive to you. So maybe you want to give her a chance (but be clear that you are ... (read in full...)
She thinks a sexy joke I had with my friend means I cheated but she dumped me and I miss her so much.
Q. Hi, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of since may 6th 2006. I love her so much, and she loved me so much. She broke up with me because i had this joke with one of my friends who is a girl, which was rather sexy. She took it as i cheated on ...
A. 1 December 2007: Ignoring someone is never a surefire way. What I suggest you do is start getting over her right now. Don't be desperate, don't follow her around... but don't be mean either. You don't need to give her the cold shoulder to get her back. Just work on ... (read in full...)
A male stripper forced my wife's hand down his underwear, and she touched his Penis. I say it's no big deal, but she feels guilty. IS it a big deal?
Q. Hi everyone, this says I'm Male, but it's really both myself and my wife asking this. So please address your replies/advice to both of us. We are doing this together as a solution to our little problem. Here it is. My wife's very close friend is ...
A. 30 November 2007: Hey there,
I actually agree with 'pgissyd'. It's great that you feel fine and that you don't think this is cheating (I don't either. By any means!). However, the problem here is, the stripper made your wife feel uncomfortable by making her touc... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that I do not have pubic hair yet?
Q. Hi I'm 18 but my penis hasn't grown and i don't have any hair around it and i haven't started shaving. my voice has broken but because of all this im a bit self concious about myself and ive never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. do you hav...
A. 29 November 2007: Hey there,
Definitely call up your doctor. Don't be worried about going to the doctor - it's their job to deal with this kind of stuff. They see all kinds of problems every day - so don't be worried.
Maybe you're just a late bloomer, or mayb... (read in full...)
What can I do to change the fact I always tend to attract girls who cheat, fight, party, love dramas...?
Q. I'm wondering if anyone here can answer this question for me, or atleast attempt to. I'm wondering what it is about me that attracts a certain type of girl. I tend to attract girls who cheat, fight, party, and are in lvoe with drama. For the most...
A. 29 November 2007: I'm sure that it doesn't help that you meet these girls at parties! I think you need to expand your hobbies. Join a team or get involved in theater or take some classes... like sports? Say hello to a girl that you meet at the game.
Meet chicks A... (read in full...)
I cheated and we are seeing a counsellor but what do we do till then??
Q. I recently cheated on my husband. We have been talking about it for a couple of days and have an appointment to meet with a counsellor, but not for another week. What do we until then?...
A. 29 November 2007: What is the situation like in your house right now? Tense? Angry? Calm but hurt?
If you both are angry, then maybe you should take a breather for a week. Does one of you have family to stay with? Or a friend? Maybe you two should have some spa... (read in full...)
She thinks a sexy joke I had with my friend means I cheated but she dumped me and I miss her so much.
Q. Hi, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of since may 6th 2006. I love her so much, and she loved me so much. She broke up with me because i had this joke with one of my friends who is a girl, which was rather sexy. She took it as i cheated on ...
A. 29 November 2007: Hey there,
To give you more advice, I have to know what this "joke" was. Then I can tell you exactly how to tackle your problem!!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
She thinks a sexy joke I had with my friend means I cheated but she dumped me and I miss her so much.
Q. Hi, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of since may 6th 2006. I love her so much, and she loved me so much. She broke up with me because i had this joke with one of my friends who is a girl, which was rather sexy. She took it as i cheated on ...
A. 29 November 2007: Hi sweetness,
Where is your friend on this? I think that your girl friend (who the joke was with) should talk to your ex and assure her that the joke was nothing more than a joke. She should let your ex know that she has no questionable intentio... (read in full...)
I want to try sex with a girl
Q. I have had a series of bad relationships with guys,im currently on my own...and ive decided i want to try sex with a girl!. I have always knew i was a bit bi sexual, and i had an encounter years ago with a mate, but i was young. I am wondering wha...
A. 29 November 2007: Go ahead and experiment! Just be safe about your decisions and don't go too wild. Explore your sexuality. Not all guys are creeps and not all girls are angels... there are bad eggs in each crowd. No gender is a saint. Keep that in mind.
Have ... (read in full...)
Poll question. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Q. Hey would like to know how old were you when you lost your virginity and also did you tell your parents about it or not till later? How were you sure it was the right person?...
A. 29 November 2007: I was 19 when I lost mine. I had waited for a long time because I finally figured out that none of the dipwads in high school were worth my virginity. then it became kind of my "thing". I was the elusive virgin. Being a virgin made me more popular ... (read in full...)
Is it gay to watch gay porn?
Q. is it gay to watch gay porn...
A. 29 November 2007: I don't think it makes you gay. If you watch it every single time and gay porn is the only kind of porn that you enjoy then yes... I'd say you might be gay. But, if you just watch because you're curious, if it's just an occasional thing I'd say that ... (read in full...)
Any ideas how I can talk to my mum about losing my virginity without upsetting her??
Q. I'm 16 and wanting to lose my virginity to my 20 yo bf of 4 months. I would prefer i told my mum cause then i have someone to talk to about it but i'm not sure how she would react. I know she would prefer if i waited till i was older but i told her...
A. 29 November 2007: Well, it should be private. Maybe have a girls night... go to a movie first, then go get some ice cream or some dinner and while you're enjoying your time together, tell her that you want to talk. Bond together first. Enjoy each other. Giggle ... (read in full...)
He's catholic I'm not, will this create problems later on?
Q. Hi, I'm just wondering what people think about long term relationships between people of different religions? Can it ever work? I'm in a relationship (almost a year and a half) with a lovely guy and we are very much in love and spend all our ti...
A. 29 November 2007: The only way you can get this answer is to talk to him about it. You guys need to have an honest talk about religion. Bring up the fact that you aren't interested in adopting his religion and you're not sure if you want to raise your children ... (read in full...)
I'm madly in love with a boy but my parents wont let me go to his house.
Q. I'm 14 years old, and im madly in love with a boy thats 17 and will be 18 in January and his paretns let him do what ever he wants.. Mine won't even let me go to his house. What do I do?...
A. 29 November 2007: Hey there,
His parents will probably let him do anything because he's almost of legal age! However, you are still pretty young and your parents are still in charge.
You should invite this boy over to your house and let your parents get to k... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so over protective and start to trust my bf??
Q. I think i'm a bit weird...you know, a bit to over protective with my bfs. When i have bf's i can get very protective. For instance i don't like him looking at other girls. Sometimes my mates flirt with my bf and i kind of pull him away from them ...
A. 29 November 2007: You are too young to be this worried!!
What makes you feel this way? Have you been cheated on? Has any of your family? I wonder where this paranoia comes from?
It's great that you recognize that your feelings are a little extreme and you ... (read in full...)
Sex from behind/on top... how do I make it enjoyable for him?
Q. What do guys like you to do (how to move) when you are having sex from behind (doggy style)?? Also, how do you have sex on top when the penis is quite small? I want to make sure it is enjoyable to him. ...
A. 28 November 2007: As for the doggy style - You don't really have to do much. Maybe meet his thrusts by pushing your hips back a bit, but really, doggy style... you don't need to do much. You could reach between your legs and (gently) play with his "boys". Guys love ... (read in full...)
Why did he let me stay the night? Does he like me?
Q. hi,need some advice really,i really like this guy ill name '?' and i hope he likes me, well yesterday i was talking to one of his mates '?' was not there and i offered to take him somewhere to get something then back to his house,then his mate rang ...
A. 28 November 2007: Meh, ditch this guy. He sounds like he's just trying to get you into bed and that's probably not what you want, right? He sounds a little like a player and I wouldn't waste time on a guy like that. Find someone who respects you and who doesn't just ... (read in full...)
She came over...we made out...and now she doesn't seem to want to talk to me.
Q. I met this female on a dating site. She lives a few minutes from me. We have talked on the telephone and then she called me up and said she wanted to come over. I agreed. We watched a movie and i rubbed her shoulders and lower back. We were talking ...
A. 28 November 2007: If she doesn't seem into you and she's not making an effort, accept this as a failed attempt and move on. It sounds like trying to figure out WHY she's avoiding you will be harder than just starting to get over this fling and going on with your ... (read in full...)
Any ideas how I can talk to my mum about losing my virginity without upsetting her??
Q. I'm 16 and wanting to lose my virginity to my 20 yo bf of 4 months. I would prefer i told my mum cause then i have someone to talk to about it but i'm not sure how she would react. I know she would prefer if i waited till i was older but i told her...
A. 28 November 2007: How wonderful that you want to talk with your Mom. I think she'll be proud that you want to be open with her and you want to make good decisions and you want to be safe. Does she like your boyfriend? If she does, it will be a lot easier to bring ... (read in full...)
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