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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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I'm worried the strippers may have been better looking than me.
Q. My girlfriend (of 4 yrs) went to a club where there were male strippers for ladies night. she asked me about 10 times before she went if it was okay, and because she was celebrating a special occasion with a girlfriend of hers that was moving away, ...
A. 16 October 2007: You got great advice, I'm just adding in here... I know a lot of male strippers (as well as females, but that's aside the point). First off, a lot - not all, but a lot - are gay.
Secondly, watching guys dancing around thrusting is not really s... (read in full...)
I found sperm in my in my husband's underwear!
Q. dose sperm come out of a mans penis if he dont have sex or have a wank cause i found sperm in my husband underwear . iv been told his been seeing some els but he says he not is their any other way to find out if he is...
A. 16 October 2007: I don't think finding the remains of ejaculation in his underwear is any indication of cheating. Besides, if he was cheating, he probably would've had his pants off and the the semen would probably landed on or in someONE.
Guys can definite... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps XXX photo's of his ex on the computer
Q. hi there my boyfriend of 1 year has xxx photos of his ex girlfriend he deleted them from the computer when i found then as i was very upset about it then 5 months ago but the other day he has put them back in a hidden file what do i do i am 41 and ...
A. 16 October 2007: I don't know...
I see how you'd be mad. But really, I mean, it's just a precious memory now. I guess I wouldn't be that angry. I'd be a little peeved, but I've hung on to some nude-y pictures of exes myself. It's not like I look at them at mastu... (read in full...)
I shared an illicit kiss, now I'm bothered about it. What do I do now?
Q. How do I move on after kissing my old boss who's married? I worked closely with a man, who was my boss on a project, at my last job who’s married. Through old co-workers I’d heard he talks about me non-stop and is “in love” with me. I moved fo...
A. 16 October 2007: Yeah, you screwed up a little bit, but no worries. The whole female population isn't shamed by you. We've all made mistakes, we know.
Just write this one up as a mistake and a lesson learned. Your boss is clearly a little sleazy if he's trying t... (read in full...)
Should I let them keep their little secret?
Q. I share an apartment with my older sister. A few weeks back I came home early and caught her and my older brother in her bed having sex. I was shocked at first and have not said anything. I have since found them two more times. I think this is ...
A. 16 October 2007: Well, goodness. You seem pretty cool with this whole thing. I don't hear any shock, any "ewwwww", anything from you! Hell yes, I'd tell someone. This behavior is no good and needs to stop. ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous that my ex hasn't invited me to their party. Am I just being immature?
Q. My ex is havin a party tonight and for some stupid reason Im upset that I havent been invited - even though we broke up a month ago. Everyone is goin, even my friends, and I cant be angry with them for goin as its not their business that me and him ...
A. 14 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
Well I can't blame you for being a little ticked. I would be too - it's a little tacky to throw a party, invite ALL of your ex's friends and not your ex.
For that night, be the bigger person and don't even say anything about i... (read in full...)
After giving him his 3'some..he wants the other woman back all the time! It's getting to me...help!!
Q. My boyfriend has always wanted us to have a threesome with another girl, so a few weeks ago i agreed for his birthday to invole a friend of mine who is Bi-Sexual. He said he loved it and would like to do it again with the same girl, i enjoyed it, ...
A. 14 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
I don't think it's your fault at ALL that things have gone bad. I think your boyfriend is being selfish. Now I realize that he's all excited about having a threesome, but now he's pushing it. He needs to lay off.
I think you n... (read in full...)
Is it weird for an 18 year old not to be interested in sex?
Q. Is it weird for an 18 year old not to be interested in sex? Not only am I not interested I really don't want to do it, I still feel young and that is such an adult thing to do. I would also be very worried about getting pregnant, even though I know ...
A. 12 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
I think it's totally cool that you're not interested in sex. You're not ready, that's fine... you've got the rest of your life to be doing it, so if you're not wanting to jump in the sack, I don't see any issues.
I do think th... (read in full...)
Curiosity licks the dog
Q. What is the best way to mastubate? My dog licked me up once, i didn't mean for him to...it just happened. N it was the best feelin in the world! Is this normal? Dnt want to do it again because it mite giv me a disease or something. Will it give me a ...
A. 12 October 2007: Get a VIBRATOR, sister! Leave the dog alone. I realize that it was a one time thing, a mistake, whatever - but you need to leave you dog OUT of your sexual exploration. That's what your hands are for.
It's great to explore yourself, make yourself... (read in full...)
First kiss a stage kiss?
Q. Okay Well The Prob Is, At Skl We're Doing This School Production Of West Side Story, And I Got The Main Part Maria :) But Yea Its Now Our 2nd Performance Of It And Its Going Really Well, But The Prob Is Iv Now Been Asked To Do A Stage Kiss. Im R...
A. 12 October 2007: Hey doll,
I'm a theatre major, been doing it for years and in that time I've done so many stage kisses it's ridiculous (and borderline slutty!).
The only way you'll "mess it up" is if you freeze up, stop moving completely (don't be a stat... (read in full...)
Is it herpes?
Q. I have sore, itchy and inflamed blisters around my genitals and think it maybe herpes, i have had coldsores before but never herpes and i havn't had intercourse with any1 that has it but am aware that it is the same virus. is this a possibility? ...
A. 12 October 2007: Sounds like Herpes to me (and you're right, you can get it without intercourse). Get to a doctor ASAP so that you can find out what's going on and get some medication.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Why did it hurt during my first time? We couldn't do it properly.
Q. How come it hurt when it went in and it didn't fit ? im a virgin and had sex with my bf, well TRIED to. Lol But it just wasn't happening. Any ideas or clues as to why it hurt ? =/...
A. 12 October 2007: Okay, darling, let me tell you a little story.
The first time I had sex, it hurt like crazy and didn't even fit in. the next time? Same thing. The time after that? SAME THING. It didn't work for an entire MONTH. After four weeks of persiste... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to have sex with him - should I?
Q. i met a guy who gets me crazy. we spent all days together. but he is living with another woman, he has a son with her. he told me that when we met. everyday we want to see each other. i don´t know what to do. i´ve thought to have sex with him but i ...
A. 12 October 2007: Don't be "that woman" who breaks up a family. If he can't commit wholely to you, forget him. Even if you just want a good time, even if you're just looking to have some hot sex - there are plenty of single guys out there for that.
He is with som... (read in full...)
Our group of friends seems to be tearing apart. Any advice?
Q. I will make this as short as possible. I have two friends. I have known one for around 2 and a half years whom i shall call Debs and the other just over a year, who shall be called Sophy. Before i met the two of them they were the best of friends. ...
A. 12 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
Oh, we've all had friendships like this and I've been on both sides. I've been on your side, where I'm sure you don't mean to be hurting Deb's feelings and I know you like them both and you just want to be ALL friends.
But I k... (read in full...)
After dating me for 4 months he says he is married! What should I do with him?
Q. My boyfriend just told me he is married after dating me for 4 months he said he didn't tell me because he did not want to lose me. He feels that if I knew I would leave him. What should I do with him. Keep him or throw him to the curb??...
A. 11 October 2007: If he feels that if you knew you would leave him, he was right. Trash the guy. You don't want to be "that woman". you don't want to be "on the side". You need a guy who isn't scummy enough to screw around on his wife, who he's supposedly committed ... (read in full...)
Sex is painful. What's wrong with me?
Q. My boyfriend of a year has just dumped me because i find sex too painful, sometimes it burns and I never ever enjoy it. What is wrong with me? Can anyone help? I'm never gonna have a boyfriend with this problem. Im too embarrassed to see a dr....
A. 9 October 2007: Hey doll,
Well, firstly - your boyfriend is a major jerk. There are plenty of good guys that would've stuck with you and helped you through these problems. Remember, this problem is only physical - it has nothing to do with YOU as a person. ... (read in full...)
I like him a lot but he's gay - what can I do?
Q. Hi, I've just arrived at University and have met loads of great new people. One person in particular has really made an impression. He's so great, really fun but sensitive and intense. I think I like him a lot but the problem is that he is gay. ...
A. 9 October 2007: Okay, sweetness. This is a really sucky situation for you, but unless the guy is bi-sexual or mistaken about being gay (the chances of either of those are pretty slim), you need to move on. He is attracted to men, and unfortunately you're probably a ... (read in full...)
His other woman might be pregnant. What do I do?
Q. i'm in a relationship with a man who has someone else and she might be pregnant what should i do ?...
A. 9 October 2007: If he has someone else, regardless of pregnancy, you should leave this guy. Never give your heart to someone who won't return the courtesy of giving you their whole heart back.
Regarding the pregnancy, if she is carrying his child, you still ne... (read in full...)
I accidentally touched her boob and she said nothing. Waht does that mean?
Q. i really like a girl but she might not be intressted. i told a freind and she told her and she just laughd. we are mates and do i do somtimes flirt with her, but i cant tell if she flirts back she ofte hits me but not in a angy way, does that count. ...
A. 9 October 2007: Hey,
Well, she probably ignored your little "accident", because she realized it was an accident... or maybe she didn't even notice... or maybe she was embarrassed and decided not to say anything...
It sounds like to me, you need to figure o... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Big milestone..... over 300,000 unique visitors over the past month :-)
Q. Cool... Over the past month, from Sept 8th to Oct 9th we had over 300,000 unique visitors to the site! According to google analytics we had 302,516 visitors. It doesn't seem that long ago I was posting when we had passed 250,000 visitors/month. ...
A. 9 October 2007: YAY!! Congratulations!!! This site is the jam and I'm so glad to see that 302,516 others have realized it!
xx India... (read in full...)
Do we have too much sex?
Q. Im 17 and my bf nearly 18 and we've been going out for 6mnths now. I love him more than anyone. But whenever we have the oppurtunity we'll have sex- multiple times usually and are very adverturous! Its starting to feel dirty and meaningl...
A. 8 October 2007: As long as both of you are comfortable, you can never have too much sex. It only becomes a problem if one of you starts not enjoying it. Otherwise, enjoy yourself!! I assure you that in time, your sex life will slow down a little bit. Right now ... (read in full...)
My parents are always arguing. How can I make them stop? They're doing my head in!
Q. why do my parents constantly argue!!!! i dont think i can cope with this any more. they argue all the time over petty little things, like my dad didnt hover the car befre we went away so my mum started an arguement n then it led to a massiv rowand t...
A. 8 October 2007: I think you got great advice. I'm just throwing in a little extra.
I do think that you need to step up and let them know that their arguing is really hurting the family. I don't think you need them to STOP arguing, but you need to have them bac... (read in full...)
How do I hide my stuff from my parents?
Q. I need to hide my contraceptive pills from my parents, but they look through all my stuff! Any ideas where to hide it??...
A. 8 October 2007: Everyone has given you great advice. If you need to hide them, hide them - good to see that you're taking care of yourself and protecting yourself (remember that birth control doesn't protect from STD's! Use a condom too!).
HOWEVER. If you are ... (read in full...)
My friends are racist - how can I stop them?
Q. My 17 year old boyfriend of a year is an Indian Sikh [im 15] which is not at all a problem, but when i first told my friends about him they were being, well,racist; just because he wears a Turban and is Indian. When I did tell them, their immature ...
A. 8 October 2007: I just want to let you know that you are a great person. Good for you, not letting yourself be swayed by your friends. Your friends sound a little ignorant and a little immature (no offense).
Judging people for what color their skin is and what... (read in full...)
How can my boyfriend avoid being bored?
Q. anytime my boyfriend comes over hes bored. i hate going to his house too because he still lives with his family and i dont get the impression they like me being their(its quite a small house and i feel im taking up a lot of space)... but when he ...
A. 8 October 2007: Firstly, how long have you been together?
I think you guys need to go out on more dates. If you're starting to get bored, liven things up by going to an arcade or to dinner or to a play or to the zoo. There are so many things you can do together... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for really dirty sex?
Q. i have just came out of a long term relationship and my sex life had got pretty boring !! i have met a very sexy fella and we both agree we just want sex. i would love to get really dirty with him, any suggestions what i can do to him ?...
A. 4 October 2007: Fun things:
* Scarves (fun for tying up, blindfolding, tickling, etc.)
* Ice cubes (get all hot together and then use the ice cubes to melt on your skin)
* Mood music (if you want to get dirty, you have to set the mood. Try to get some music w... (read in full...)
I've done the no contacting thing, but now she seems to have turned the tables on me! What do you think?
Q. Hello I have done the no contact for a few weeks. My ex was calling me and I would call her back a day or two later . I would let her leave me a message. Well she emailed me a few days ago , and I emailed her back. Except now she has not emailed me ...
A. 4 October 2007: You broke up, she was trying to rekindle things with you, you blew her off, now it's over. As Phil said, this is a dead relationship. Try again when lots and lots of time has past and she's had time to do her own thing.
I don't think she's pl... (read in full...)
I'm madly in love with her, but now she's dating her crush! Do I tell her how I feel?
Q. Hey people, yesterday, the girl with whom i am madly in love (we'll call her Jane) got asked out by her crush, and she said yes. Naturally, this saddens me, but I just dont know what to do... I have been told my numerous friends that I should tell ...
A. 4 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
Well, you're a little late. I guess you've learned a lesson - next time, don't waste time!! You like the girl, let her know.
Now for your particular situation I don't think you should tell her right away. Keep the friendship g... (read in full...)
I am mean to this guy and keep wanting to see his schoolwork. Why?
Q. Hi, i'm 13 and very lately the guy who i use to sit next to every lesson and year cause we were put in register order i keep being mean to him and want to see his work for example art we were doing painting out of books and i was really desperate to ...
A. 2 October 2007: Sounds like you like him and just don't know how to show it. Well, I'll tell you this much, being mean to him isn't going to get you anywhere! Why don't you approach him and talk to him? Maybe apologize for being mean. Who knows? He might like you ... (read in full...)
I am 17 and pregnant
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, My name is Fiona and I am seventeen years old and I recently found out that I am pregnant. I am very confused and I really don’t know what to do and I still haven’t told anyone. Please help! I thoug...
A. 2 October 2007: Hi sweetness,
Well, you sound like a really smart girl who has made a mistake. It's okay, accidents happen and it sounds like you're kind of in a scary situation. I think that first you should tell your boyfriend, followed by your parents.... (read in full...)
I have a large 'hanging' labia lip... Will this put him off oral which he says he's up for?
Q. Hi!, me n my boyfrined were talking n he mentioned that he's always like to go down on me and im totally up for it, and tbh i'd like to too! only problem is, that i have large 'hanging' labia lips n im worried he will find this wierd! is this a...
A. 27 September 2007: Hey girlfriend,
All women look different. Some have lips that hang a few inches, some have teeny lips, some are in-between, some are totally uneven. Everyone is different, and trust me, men love them all. Your boyfriend will be thrilled to give ... (read in full...)
I don't like other people looking at my gf.
Q. Hi There, Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year, and I have somewhat of a problem, I don't like other people looking at her and when I say this I mean for example she went to get fitted for a dress and had to stand in her bra and ...
A. 23 September 2007: Hey sweetness,
Okay, so you're a little jealous. I suppose that's reasonable... you can be jealous. But you have to remember that YOU'RE the one she's interested in, YOU'RE the one she's coming home to every night - there's no need to get worried.... (read in full...)
If I could I'd express my love to him now, but 14-15 is a bit young to lose my virginity, is it not?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are soo in love, we've been together for almost a year [11 months and 22 days] And we've discussed having sex for the past few months, i am not pressured at all and we're very matture about the subject. We've discussed contrcep...
A. 23 September 2007: Hey sweetness,
I think if you are a strong Catholic and you feel really strongly about this subject, I think by waiting for marriage (if not 16), you'll feel better about yourself when you're older and reflecting on your past decisions.
Ther... (read in full...)
Wondering if a good friend of mine is gay.
Q. Alright, so I'm just wondering here if a good friend of mine is gay, I'll try and make this breif... He's been going with a girl for a couple weeks, and he tells us (the guys he hangs with) that he's doing stuff with her... But the other night ...
A. 23 September 2007: Hi there,
Maybe your friend was shy, maybe he wasn't into her, maybe he just hasn't gotten around to making the first move, or maybe he's gay. Either way, it's really none of your business.
If you CARE about your friend and therefore want t... (read in full...)
Are we compatible?
Q. He was born May 4th 1961. I was born on April 30th 1959. Could we be together?...
A. 22 September 2007: It doesn't matter which day you were born. If you're compatible, you're compatible. Life is a possibility, don't rule this one out. Enjoy life without thinking about the calendar!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has gotten abusive
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we recently had a baby during my pregnancy he started getting a little aggressive just doing little things like pulling my hair and pinching me, since the birth of our son its got worse in the ...
A. 21 September 2007: Hi sweetness,
You are in an abusive relationship. Please don't make the mistake so many girls make and believe that it "will get better" or that this is your fault. It won't and it's not. Your boyfriend has SERIOUSLY damaged you and you do NOT i... (read in full...)
Should I feel bad about letting other woman know what a jerk my ex it?
Q. Do you think it is a good idea to warn other women about men who prey on other women? I posted my ex on womansavers and dontdatehimgirl and I found other women who looked him up and posted comments about him on there too. I was shocked to see how ...
A. 20 September 2007: Hey sweetness,
I don't think you should feel bad about this. Like RCN said, these sites are made just for this purpose - for warning other girls about some of the creeps in the world. So if your ex really is a monster, good for you. Hopefull... (read in full...)
Lately my boyfriend doesn't want to have sex
Q. My boyriend has been refusing to have sex with me and i dont kno y. Ive started a diet thinking that is y but idk. Hes been really mean to me lately and it hurts its like he doesnt appreciate me. He never says please or thank u. Recently i told him ...
A. 20 September 2007: Hi there, sweetness,
I think it's quite possible that your boyfriend is pulling away from you because you've told him that you're going to the air force. Gosh, if my boyfriend told me he was joining the air force, I would go crazy!!
I think... (read in full...)
I'm unsure if he likes me...
Q. Im unsure of what this guy thinks of me. I met this guy about two weeks ago, and since then he has been non stopp texting me! Like 24/7! Some days I would go through $20 (Australian Dollars) worth of text messages. He said he thought I was pr...
A. 20 September 2007: Hey darlin',
Well, it sounds like he is into you! If hes been texting YOU all this time, then I think he's just sick and can't text you back. Don't worry about it. Send him a little "feel better!" text, and I'll bet as soon as he's feeling ... (read in full...)
Me and my guy have tried foreplay but I'm worried about going further! Any advice please?
Q. help please :| Me and my boyfriend were playing dares. his was "i will do ANYTHING for you when we're together" and well. i said something like "take my top off and kiss starting from the top going down" Because i didnt wnt to tell him to do somet...
A. 18 September 2007: Hey there, sweetness.
Like Cloud9 said, you should never do anything that you're feeling scared or nervous about. Then it's not even fun, or even pleasurable!
When I was your age, I (also like Cloud9), spent most of my time at your age kissing... (read in full...)
Is it normal for your finace to masturbate when you are not with him?
Q. Is it normal for your fiance' to masterbate when you are not with him?...
A. 18 September 2007: Hi there,
It is perfectly normal for your fiancé to masturbate when you're not around. Masturbation is a normal, healthy thing that people do. It's a way to spend time with yourself, explore yourself, get rid of some stress...
As long as hi... (read in full...)
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