| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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My wife won't give me a blowjob!!!!
Q. I'd like to start by confirming I m 32 not 21. So this is my problem... My wife don't want to give me a blowjob anymore because she says she doesn't like it. I'm going down on her all the time because that's the only way that she can have multiple...
A. 29 May 2010: Some women think it's demeaning or smelly. A lot of the time it's because they don't like the smell and taste of cum. I think you should talk to her about it and find out why she stopped. Tell her how amazing it feels and how much you love it when ... (read in full...)
Weird vagina!!!
Q. Some background information, ever since I was 14 I have had one really large labia on my right side, I absolutely hate it!! It makes me so unconfident and especially around inexperienced guys as I'm worried they will just be like "ew, what's ...
A. 29 May 2010: Guys mostly just like all vaginas. I've never talked to a guy who ever had one he didn't like. Look around online at real vaginas (not porn stars) and you'll see, they come in ALL shapes sizes and colors. Most people's labia are uneven. Mine are, my ... (read in full...)
Its to the point where its painful, but I love it!
Q. This question might be weird.. but when my bf and i are having us time and he kisses and fondles my stomach and breasts i really like it alot and it feels great. but my question is why does the harder he nibbles my nipples feel beter. to point that ...
A. 29 May 2010: Don't worry, it's really common for people to like that. As long as you're not bleeding or doing something really harmful, enjoy.... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant after coming into contact with his sperm after he left?
Q. Could I be pregnant if I made out with my boyfriend and later, after he`s gone home I might accidentally put a little sperm close to my vagina while I was sort of fingering myself?...
A. 29 May 2010: Probably not, but it depends. How much sperm and how long? If you had a tiny bit on your finger and fingered yourself hours later, then no. If you covered your fingers in it and then immediately stuck it in your vagina then yes. If the semen on your ... (read in full...)
He cheated with her! Should I expect him to completely cut her out?
Q. I was cheated on last summer (so, about a year ago). Surprise surprise, right? Basically this girl is a complete slut, she had a boyfriend at the time she did this AND she knew about me too! They got close over a summer class, flirted w/ each ...
A. 28 May 2010: I think you should get out before he does it again. Clearly he has no respect for boundaries and obviously doesn't understand that what he did was wrong. When he cheated it doesn't even sound like the kind of thing that should be forgivable. I think ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend seems addicted to facebook...is this a concern?
Q. me and my boyfriend deleted facebook but i keep finding out he goes back on it. i feel kind of sad for him that he can't live without it. but i don't see the need for it. he said he didn't want it so i don't understand why he keeps going on...
A. 28 May 2010: Why would you try to make him delete his facebook? Just because you don't enjoy facebook doesn't mean he shouldn't. It's just a fun way to check up on friends and stay in touch. Do you also think he shouldn't have an email address? It's not really ... (read in full...)
Hey I was wondering when guys say they don't know why two girls fooling around turn them on do they mean it?
Q. Hey i was wondering when guys say they dont know why two girls fooling around turn them on do they mean it? Iv been just wondering cause like all guys i know say they dont know why it does lol, also cause all the girls i know dont get turned on when ...
A. 28 May 2010: Think of it this way. If you're only attracted to women would you rather see one woman and have to look at another guy in a sexual way or would you rather see two (or more) women without having to see some other guy's penis?... (read in full...)
Why do men like fake breasts so much?
Q. I just think they look so silly, I mean, it's rare you get a slim woman with naturally big breasts, yet men seem find this so sexually attractive. Just wondering why? Breasts aren't supossed to defiy gravity! And big ones on such small women look ...
A. 28 May 2010: Most guys I know think they look good but hate the way they feel. Large breasts are attractive because they signal being healthy and fertile. The slender body thing is trendy, but back before people killed themselves at the gym and had plastic ... (read in full...)
Does a man have to have a sexual release within a certain period of time or not?
Q. Is that even possible? Or does a man have to 'release' every now and then? Because it cant be ignored and its to that point? Can anyone help answer this? Or is this controllable?...
A. 28 May 2010: No, he doesn't. After a release it takes up to 72 hours before the sperm even fully "recover." It's natural to WANT a release every day or two, but any guy who says he NEEDS the release is just full of it. The worst that happens is he has a wet ... (read in full...)
Coping with loss; is counselling the answer?
Q. So, I've had a pretty bad couple of years. This year my uncle that I was really close to passed away from cancer and my friend committed suicide. Other things have happened in the previous years all in a row that are just as terrible. The death of ...
A. 28 May 2010: Yes, it's true that time heals most things, but a therapist can speed the process along. I know the complete stranger thing sounds intimidating, but in the end that's what makes therapy such a great thing. They're not there to judge you and unlike a ... (read in full...)
Is online release horrible?
Q. So here is my situation. I have a really high sex drive. Much higher than my wife's. And sure, it's been a bit of a problem, but I've accepted that people are different and since everything else about our relationship is great, I'm deali...
A. 28 May 2010: Most women wouldn't tolerate that sort of behavior. You're interacting in a sexual way with other women. You should definitely stop. Why not talk about sexual things with your wife? If you enjoy dirty talking with women online, you should enjoy it ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a 27 year old guy to get upset when he doesn't get sex?
Q. Dear cupid... Me and my boyfriend has got a few problems that we can't seem to overcome. This makes us both very frustrated. He obviously think that we not having enough sex. I don't always have that urge to have sex for some reason I don't e...
A. 28 May 2010: Wow that's ridiculous. If it was once a week I'd understand, but 4 times a week is a perfectly good amount. He needs to understand that you are a person, not a fleshlight. Tell him if he wants to have sex more, he should stop treating you like a sex ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a 27 year old guy to get upset when he doesn't get sex?
Q. Dear cupid... Me and my boyfriend has got a few problems that we can't seem to overcome. This makes us both very frustrated. He obviously think that we not having enough sex. I don't always have that urge to have sex for some reason I don't e...
A. 26 May 2010: No it's not normal to get upset. Sex needs to be consensual. If he gets angry that you aren't always in the mood, he doesn't really understand women very well. Also, it's not your obligation as a woman to always please him. As for what you can do, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't let me near his cellphone, is he cheating on me??
Q. My boy friend always locks his cell phone and always textin he dont let me answer his phone but i let him get my phone. i want to know is he cheatin on me....
A. 26 May 2010: Sounds suspicious. I wouldn't say he definitely is cheating, but it does sound very suspicious. Keep an eye out for other signs.... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed that my boyfriend doesn't masterbate
Q. I know this probably gets asked all the time but hre goes. I found out earlier that my boyfriend, (we're both only 16 and have never had sex), doesn't masterbate. I'm sure LOTS of guys don't but it really bothered me that he doesn't. With my...
A. 26 May 2010: This is actually kind of the opposite of the normal masturbation question. Many women are upset when their boyfriend DOES masturbate. Most men masturbate. And even if he doesn't on his own, doesn't mean he wouldn't be willing to masturbate with you. ... (read in full...)
I am almost 15 and may be pregnant, what advice can you give me, totally confused??
Q. hello im 14 years old about to be 15 next week, and i think im pregnant i havent told anyone but my boyfriend and if i tell my parents they'd kill me,im just so scared and dont know what to do, i havent took a test yet but when i do and it comes out ...
A. 26 May 2010: You could also put the baby up for adoption, you don't have to keep it if you decide to have it. Why not make an appointment to talk to someone at planned parenthood? They can give great advice and help you pick the right thing for you. Also they ... (read in full...)
We had sex, noticed a strange white substance, any ideas what it was??
Q. today my girlfriend and i did it and when i came, i came on her stomach and when we looked there was other white stuff under her vag but it was close to it and it looked like semen but not light white as my semen and it looked thicker than my semen ...
A. 26 May 2010: It's probably her own lubrication. It tends to build up around the opening and the base of your penis. It tends to be slightly thicker than semen and fairly close in color, but a quick smell test should determine who it belongs to very quickly. But ... (read in full...)
Experiencing a lot of irregularity with my period, what are your thoughts?
Q. OK so im really worried i got my last period on April but this month i got my period in the beginning of the month and it wasn't heavy or nothing barley stained the pad but it ; lasted 3 days and then around the 18 i got it again for like 3 hours ...
A. 26 May 2010: Normally around your age your periods may be irregular, but this sounds like a question for a doctor. There are tons of somewhat harmless things that can cause irregular periods, like stress, lack of sleep, poor diet (OK, not harmless, but not ... (read in full...)
Any good advice on winning back my ex??
Q. how do i get my exback?...
A. 26 May 2010: with the small amount of information given, there's no way anyone could give advice on this. I can say, however, that if he broke up with you there's very little chance of getting back together.... (read in full...)
I can't stop worrying about being pregnant, please help!
Q. Soooo, yesterday night, my bf and i were fooling around...i gave him a blow job and he finished by himself, then a little while later he fingered me. I read today that you can get pregnant this way, so i called a sexual health hotline and talked to ...
A. 25 May 2010: First off, the odds of getting pregnant that way are so low that it's pretty much not worth worrying about. Second, plan B is very effective when taken within 24 hours of the possible pregnancy event. Since you've taken plan B you have absolutely ... (read in full...)
Do boys prefer girls that have a tan?
Q. hello aunties and uncles. got a question that I really want answered. do boys prefer girls with a tan? I don't tan at all and I was wondering if boys do like girls who don't tan. I've tried fake tan and the colour was nice and it was a nice even ...
A. 23 May 2010: Just like there are people who are beautiful blonde and some who are more beautiful brunette, there are people who look better tan and those who look better pale. There's no one size fits all for attractiveness. Plus, getting a suntan is so bad for ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't it feel good?
Q. Why doesnt it feel good when he rubs my clitoritis? its like he'll be fingering me and try it and people say it feels like amazing and with me it just sorta tickels like it make my legs twitch and I cant take it because it sorta hurts. I dont get ...
A. 23 May 2010: Because most men don't know how to touch a clitoris (they don't have one after all). Also, every woman is very different in how they want to be touched. Do you know how you want to be touched? You can't expect it to feel good when he does it if you ... (read in full...)
Latin men and french kissing
Q. Hello, I am a white woman 42, dating a very handsome Mexican man in his thirties. we have been dating for about a month. I was wondering why it is that he doesn't french kiss? I was wondering if it is a latin thing for men not to kiss like that ...
A. 23 May 2010: Instead of trying subtle hints, just say, I want you to french kiss me. It's that simple! No, it's not a race thing.... (read in full...)
Irrational fears concerning sex pregnancy and condoms?
Q. Hi, so I want to have sex for the first time but I am afraid I'm going to get pregnant. I will use a condom but I'm so afraid it is going to break because I have heard all those stories. If I get pregnant my parents will kill me and they obviously ...
A. 23 May 2010: No it's not irrational. But as long as you're careful, the condom shouldn't break. Some tips, get the right size. Also, put a drop of water or silicone based lube in the tip to prevent unneeded friction. Just try to relax a little. Follow the ... (read in full...)
Sex photos to please my husband?
Q. Note: I am 26 not 15 Hey there, My husband is away for a week as part of a course at work. I would like to send him some sexy photos, but I do not want to just pose naked, I want to tease him and make him want to come home to me, without hav...
A. 23 May 2010: Some people find taking pics of sexy lingerie (without you in them is good). Like a lacy bra hanging from the back of a chair or something. Especially if it's new, so you can be like, "look what you get to come home to." Also some ideas, a pic of ... (read in full...)
Cheating - general consensus, variety of questions
Q. I have a few general questions on cheating that I'd like to get feedback on... If your spouse cheated on you, would you stay with them? Would you leave? If you had children with them and they cheated, would you stay with them? Would you fo...
A. 23 May 2010: I have a few general questions on cheating that I'd like to get feedback on... If your spouse cheated on you, would you stay with them? Would you leave? Depends on the circumstances I guess, but I'd definitely want a break to think and make ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be sad about losing your virginity; could I be pregnant?
Q. Moderator's note: two questions combined So I just started taking birth control. I've been on it for about a month now. Me and my boyfriend are usually really good about having safe sex(condom) but a couple weeks ago he didn't use one. He said tha...
A. 23 May 2010: If you are on birth control and have been taking it correctly, then no, it's near impossible to be pregnant. It's always good to be safe with two methods, but really you don't need both. You'd be safe only using one method. Even if it hasn't been ... (read in full...)
Is it always black and white that he doesn't want to be with you?
Q. if you finally start talking with an ex again but he isn't ready to be in a relationship again---is it ALWAYS black and white that they just don't want to be with you? We were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the ...
A. 22 May 2010: No it's not always black and white easy. There are almost always going to be conflicting feelings and thoughts. However, even if there are some feelings of wanting to get back together, if he says he just isn't ready, he's just not ready. You can't ... (read in full...)
How to break up with my fiance who is much older than me.
Q. hi well i just joined and i am seriously stuck, i have been with my fiance for 2 yrs in june and engaged for 9 months. i am 24 this year and my fiance has just turned 43, it is a huge age difference and when we first got together i had no problems ...
A. 22 May 2010: Two things. One, men have an easier time dating while older than women, so that shouldn't be something you worry about. Two, doubts are very normal before marriage. Before you talk to him, I suggest talking to someone who knows you both well (like ... (read in full...)
Why has my husband gone off sex?
Q. What are the reasons for a married man to completely gone of sex? I really don't know what to think.. This is my husband ,after 26 years... Around 4 years ago ,he stopped touching,having any sexual feelings all together. Almost feels like a spell......
A. 21 May 2010: There are so many possibilities that I can't even begin to list them. Why are you only 4 years later questioning? I'd say it's not just that he suddenly lost interest in sex unless he started a medication that could do that (anti-depressants tend ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel the way I feel?
Q. This is not really a question. I just need to understand whether the way I feel is normal. I have seen in many posts in dear cupid that many women are worried about their bf/husband getting turned on by other girs, watching porn, etc. But in my ...
A. 21 May 2010: This is actually a very common thing to get turned on by. Don't feel ashamed of it. There are two things. One, you're seeing something you're not supposed to see, so there's an adrenaline rush. Two, you're seeing something very sexual. Many people ... (read in full...)
How can I get her to stay in the sex positions I like for longer?
Q. hello im writing this in hopes that i may get some good advice on how to deal with my problem. See me and my girlfriend have been having sex now for quite some time, and though we've had some really good intimate moments and usualy lasts mor...
A. 21 May 2010: There are a lot of different motions she can do while on top, like if she leans forward and props herself up on her forearms/hands, she can just move up and down on you without touching anything sensitive on herself. From what I hear it's the ... (read in full...)
Masturbating Question.....
Q. Well, I've been masturbating for about a month now. I'm sixteen years old. I have not broken my hymen; I tend to just stimulate my clitoris and the area around it. When I do masturbate, my stomach tends to feel like it's dropping (that's the only...
A. 21 May 2010: Sounds like you are having orgasms to me! Wonderful feelings flood your whole body, you shake, and then you're hypersensitive. Sounds like an orgasm to me!... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can help me with my excessive sweating?
Q. my feet are really sweaty. it means i have to wear socks and tights all the time. the thing is, i have prom in a few weeks, and i want to go bare-footed, but i cant. its ruining my life. any suggestions?...
A. 21 May 2010: The only reason to worry about it would be because shoes would get slippery and make dancing hard. Two suggestions. One of my friends wore a floor length A-line dress (the kind of classic prom dress) and since it touched the floor anyways, she just ... (read in full...)
Great guy but a small penis. Any tips?
Q. i have recently began a new relationship with a man i work with, having been messed around for a long time i realised that this one is different. He is sweet and charming and very respectful. However i have quite a lot of experience in the bedroom ...
A. 21 May 2010: There are LOTS of positions out there designed specifically for making a small penis feel great, just do some internet searches. Whatever you do, do not mention his size! This is one of those rare times when talking will not accomplish anything but ... (read in full...)
Should a girl always breathe in a rythmic way or scream when she orgasms?
Q. when a girl cums does she breathe in a rythimic way or screams?and is it a must for every girl to behave this way?and if she doesnt what should she do?...
A. 21 May 2010: There aren't just some women like you, I'd say MOST are like you. Though making some noise usually makes for a better more uninhibited orgasm. If your bf wants noise though, why don't you be more vocal occasionally for him? I love when my boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Why do a lot of older people think that teenagers don't know what true love is?
Q. Hey i was wondering why do not all, but alot of older people think that teenagers dont know what true love is? and that it wont work out in the end? Because my boyfriend asked me to marry him, I said yes. I am 17 and my boyfriend is about 7 months ...
A. 21 May 2010: Because a lot of the time the teenager is either experiencing a crush and confusing it for love or has just started dating a guy for the first time and is experiencing infatuation. What you have doesn't sound like typical teenagers unable to ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by my new boyfriend's penis because I think it's not hard enough!
Q. Hi, Am confused about my new boyfriend's penis coz I think it's not hard enough. We haven't had any penetration sex yet but have had oral sex and what worries me is that the hardest he's been is far lower than my ex boyfriends. I know that with t...
A. 21 May 2010: Possible causes:
1. He's gay.
2. He's not that into you.
3. He's self-conscious/stressed.
4. He has a physical problem.
5. He has a masturbation/porn addiction.
6. He's on some medication that kills sex drive.
You could roll a dice, or you... (read in full...)
I am bi and have a homophobic family! Help!
Q. Hi, iam 14 yes old and am bi and I have a really homophobic family and I have not told them. How should I tell them? ...
A. 21 May 2010: Personally as a bi person and being 14, I'd probably wait to tell them until you find a woman you want to be with. You might end up with a man and in that case there is no reason to risk alienating your family. ... (read in full...)
Is masturbating dangerous at 14?
Q. i am 14 years old.i'm extremely excited about sex and i do masterbating by watching porn videos through the web. what i'm worried is that is masterbating good for health?.will it effect me in anyways?...
A. 20 May 2010: Sure masturbation is totally healthy. Just be careful of how much of those online videos you watch, they can affect your relationships with real women later on. But as for the masturbation so long as you aren't doing it to the point of it ... (read in full...)
Should a girl always breathe in a rythmic way or scream when she orgasms?
Q. when a girl cums does she breathe in a rythimic way or screams?and is it a must for every girl to behave this way?and if she doesnt what should she do?...
A. 20 May 2010: Well girls in porn scream all the time, but most girls don't in real life I think. The rhythmic breathing is sometimes because most women need a rhythm to orgasm, like putting themselves in an orgasm trance. Don't worry so much about it, you ... (read in full...)
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