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... Send *iamine a private message | | | *iamine's profile:* I'm brutally honest, sometimes to the point of offence, I never hide under the secrecy of anonymous. I'm pro-porn and many people don't like this. I'm also non judgemental of different relationships and lifestyles. I'm pro-men and pro-women, I believe strongly in equality and happiness for both sexes, that's my definition of Feminism. And I'm an atheist, there aint no God in my world.
Mental Health Help (Depression, anxiety, bi-polar) Advice and support and mood charting: - http://www.patientslikeme.com
Helplines for UK visitors.
*The Samaritans.... http://www.samaritans.org/ UK: 08457 90 90 90 ROI: 1850 60 90 90
*Rape Crisis Centres... http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/index.php Tel:0808 802 9999
*Childline... http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx Tel: 0800 1111 (free to call and totally confidential)
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Type in your postcode to find the location of your nearest family planning clinic. Contraception is available free, and emergency contraception (taken within 72 hours, but sooner is better, 24 hours is best) can help prevent pregnancy if you have unprotected sex.
NHS Direct Telephone Hotline - 111
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Question for the guys: Why do married men flirt?
Q. I have a question from you guys. Why married men flirt? They want to get in to your pants? They want to add just a little flavor to their day? Or to see if they are still capable of attracting someone? So what is it? Why I am always a target, ok I ...
A. 24 March 2012: I think married women also flirt, it's not a gender issue. Some people flirt, (I do) and some people don't. A wink, a smile, a pretty comment, makes some people smile and feel good about themselves, and other people find it offensive.
Peopl... (read in full...)
My wife is matron of honor, and the best man is her ex!
Q. My wife and I have a question about weddings and what to do. My wife has this very good friend. After me, I guess you could say she was her 2nd best friend. She's getting married this summer. She asked my wife to be her matron of honor. My wi...
A. 23 March 2012: Your wife is right. If she is going to be uncomfortable, there's no point in doing it. The bride wants happy people involved in her wedding, not people who can't do this, won't do that and look anxious and try to avoid someone else. The bridal ... (read in full...)
What is the average length of time that a man lasts during sex?
Q. This might sound like a silly question and I know that every one is different, but what is the average length of time that a man lasts during sex?? I've been with this guy for about 5 months now and we just recently started having sex. He lasts ab...
A. 23 March 2012: All guys can be different, there is no average. Some guys have trained themselves to withhold orgasm to give a woman pleasure. Many women find they can't orgasm because the man comes too quickly. There is nothing wrong with him, he's just trying ... (read in full...)
Should I date a professor if we're close in age?
Q. Ok, I feel silly posting this, but I am hoping someone with personal experience, either as the student or preferably the professor, in a similar situation can give me some advice. Let me start by saying I am not a young, impressionable g...
A. 23 March 2012: "miamine, you sound overly angry about this..."
"But miamine, you need to relax and stop being so judgmental... really... you seem very aggressive and angry."
As long as you leave the teacher alone as long as you are his student and he i... (read in full...)
My wife wants the woman I cheated with to tell her about things before she can let it go!
Q. hi there i had an affair 11 years ago and my wife found out 14 months ago .The affair lasted 2 a half years and my wife was devastated i have tried every thing possible to win her back.we have been on holidays i buy her flowers all the time and ...
A. 23 March 2012: There is a post I could direct you to, it's filled with lots of stories from the other woman, but in all the 300 odd stories, there is only 1 or 2 like her. Sigh.. there's a certain type of damaged and unhappy woman that only targets married ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 23 March 2012: It's difficult to really continue this conversation, when somebody claims that a 10.11 billion industry (2010 figures) is something "nobody does", and someone else throws away the dictionary and uses definitions that nobody knew about.
I use the ... (read in full...)
My wife agreed to introduce this third woman into our sex life to spice things up, but now I have feelings for her. My insecure wife is fine with other women but not this one, why doesn't she want me to be happy?
Q. My wife and I have been married 14 years. Pregnant at 17 but in love at the time. Because of the diffucultys of being young parents we went through a lot of struggles. I feel this had a registering effect on some of our marriage because of the ...
A. 22 March 2012: You are far too quick to judge and make excuses for your selfishness. Many people enjoy threesomes, orgies, open marriages and get them to work.. They are difficult, but yes some people can pull it off. Many people also live polygamous marriages, ... (read in full...)
She can orgasm when she masturbates but never with me!
Q. Hello All, I have been dating the same girl for over three years now. We have been sexually active for over two. In those two years she has never been able to have an orgasm with me. We have tried everything-- we have had vaginal intercou...
A. 22 March 2012: "but I feel that I have a right to be a little bothered by this fact"
Ah, so your not really interested about her getting pleasure, your just doing this as something to help your own ego. The thing about orgasms and women, they can have difficul... (read in full...)
Dating a guy who's never had a girlfriend
Q. Ok, so let me ask this to the ladies. If you've gone out with a guy a few times and you're really starting to like him quite a bit, and THEN you ask about his previous relationships and he's honest with you and tells you he's never had a girlfriend ...
A. 22 March 2012: Why would I drop him? I'm not dating him because of his past, I'm dating him because I like him and find him cute. Now if it turns out that in his past he abused children and beat women, then I might decide I don't like his personality and leave. ... (read in full...)
My wife wants the woman I cheated with to tell her about things before she can let it go!
Q. hi there i had an affair 11 years ago and my wife found out 14 months ago .The affair lasted 2 a half years and my wife was devastated i have tried every thing possible to win her back.we have been on holidays i buy her flowers all the time and ...
A. 22 March 2012: Thanks for the follow up betrayed wife, I was very tempted to ask about your role in all of this, but I didn't think your husband deserved it, and I was worried that it would shift some of the blame to you.
It is important to look back at how both... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 22 March 2012: "Someone mentioned that the men watch for the action only - be aware there are an awful lot of man who do choose a particular porn star to watch, so it's really not all about the action."
Yes it's true, some men (or women) can be obsessed with a c... (read in full...)
Should I date a professor if we're close in age?
Q. Ok, I feel silly posting this, but I am hoping someone with personal experience, either as the student or preferably the professor, in a similar situation can give me some advice. Let me start by saying I am not a young, impressionable g...
A. 22 March 2012: You are a student, he is a teacher, it doesn't matter if your 5, 15, or 50, you can't date him. He didn't come there to get a date, he's a man at work, he's doing his job. Every single year some love crazed student decides to fall in love with ... (read in full...)
My wife agreed to introduce this third woman into our sex life to spice things up, but now I have feelings for her. My insecure wife is fine with other women but not this one, why doesn't she want me to be happy?
Q. My wife and I have been married 14 years. Pregnant at 17 but in love at the time. Because of the diffucultys of being young parents we went through a lot of struggles. I feel this had a registering effect on some of our marriage because of the ...
A. 22 March 2012: Wait a second, this is no longer a consensual threesome, this is a married man having an affair and forcing his wife to put up with it. Threesomes are about sex and only sex, but you have now gone and fallen in love and are flaunting it in your ... (read in full...)
Do men stop using porn when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, us women need hope is there any men here who stop using porn/looking at it when they have a girlfriend? ...
A. 22 March 2012: Yes many men give up porn. Some men only use it when they are single because they don't have a proper girlfriend. Other men use it very rarely and do it in private so that you don't know, so as far as your concerned it doesn't exist.
Men h... (read in full...)
Porn and erectile dysfunction?
Q. I have a question about porn and ed. I have come to discover stories of men who have trouble getting erect over a real woman when they have used porn alot. Is that because those porn women are hotter? Would they still have that problem if a woman ...
A. 22 March 2012: Sorry we missed your follow up... "He had to think extra dirty thoughts in his head whilst having sex with me to try and cum. Is this because the porn is hotter?"
Candycane, first you must realise that this is nothing to do with you. It's not... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 22 March 2012: "Porn is Bad. Romance novels are porn"
If you think getting men to give up porn is hard, you'll have a hell of a fight and more if you ever try to take women's romance novels away.. ... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 22 March 2012: "Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman"
- Nope, because I'm not possessive, jealous or insecure... he has a right to get turned on by whatever he likes, just as I am. He is not allowed however to go and have sexual cont... (read in full...)
How do I offer this FWB situation to him without sounding like a whore?
Q. I have known this guy for a couple of years now and we have gone on a couple of dates. Well.... last week we had sex, but he let me know that he he is not interested in a girlfriend and Im not interested in a boyfriend. I want to be FWB but also ...
A. 22 March 2012: FWB are complicated things, people develop feelings and get upset when they are not treated well. It's purely a sex thing, and can destroy friendships. If you've already gone on a couple of dates, you sure your not trying to keep this guy as a bo... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 21 March 2012: "It is an enormous red herring because none of the anti-porn people I've met actually defend romance novels. I certainly don't "defend" them, but to compare them to porn is a ridiculous comparison."
Again, I'm not talking about the industry... (read in full...)
I feel torn!
Q. I'm writing as i am not sure how my married friend sees our friendship. We've been friends for 5 years and we try to have a chat each week. If we cannot make it, we text each other. Sometimes he's a little flirty (never sexual), and sometimes, if i ...
A. 21 March 2012: I feel torn!!
Why torn? He is married, you are happily married and you are both friends.. There is nothing happening here at all. If you can't control yourself, then I suggest you end the friendship. Right now your looking for some signs of... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: "Porn seems to elicit an addictive response in some people (not all) that books do not."
People can be addicted to books. I suggest you google "romance books" and see how many hours and how much money some women spend on their "hobby"... It's pro... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: "How can people compare porn to a romance novel?"
Do you watch porn?
Do you read romance novels?
Do you use vibrators?
I can compare because I have done all three. Don't like vibrators myself, and of the three, I find them the hardest wa... (read in full...)
My wife wants the woman I cheated with to tell her about things before she can let it go!
Q. hi there i had an affair 11 years ago and my wife found out 14 months ago .The affair lasted 2 a half years and my wife was devastated i have tried every thing possible to win her back.we have been on holidays i buy her flowers all the time and ...
A. 20 March 2012: Ok, Mr Husband who had an affair for only 2years... I think you need to understand just how much damage you done for your easy bit of sex. You say you got 2 sons... well suppose someone runs one down and then sends you flowers and says sorry... (read in full...)
My wife wants the woman I cheated with to tell her about things before she can let it go!
Q. hi there i had an affair 11 years ago and my wife found out 14 months ago .The affair lasted 2 a half years and my wife was devastated i have tried every thing possible to win her back.we have been on holidays i buy her flowers all the time and ...
A. 19 March 2012: Two and a half years of you sticking your dick in a place it didn't belong, then coming home and lying and being two faced and pretending everything is all right... That's what your fighting against.
Put your self in your wife's shoes. Suppose ... (read in full...)
Is this masturbation pattern normal?
Q. Well, I'm 17 and i have a problem. I masturbate every night. I constantly think of my gf, especially of the days we have sex. I went on a college tour and i didn't masturbate. I went on a trip and i didn't do it. Only at night when im most ...
A. 18 March 2012: Daily masturbation at 17... all sounds normal.. However, I would prefer for you to cut it down, you should be able to survive a day without sex. Try for every other day instead, and just allow your self to feel frustrated on the no-sex days. ... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 17 March 2012: "I meant pictures of just one naked woman it cant be the act then :( " (22-25, anonymous)
Women are more likely to masturbate using books or stories... there are no pictures in them, so what do these women think of? Romance and erotic, read by ... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 12 March 2012: No I asked how you feel, not how you act. You wanted to understand a bit of his thinking, so that's why I asked the question.... (read in full...)
I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 12 March 2012: How about his family? Does he have a mother or some sisters that you can talk to?... (read in full...)
I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 12 March 2012: I got a casual way with words and I'm mean. I say things to hurt because I want you to realise how serious your situation is. I don't want you to pretend that everything is all right, because you know it's not. I know you love this man and I know ... (read in full...)
I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 11 March 2012: Try to ask him for an weekly allowance, that would be a start, make it small, but make him give it to you regularly nag and nag and give him headache, just make sure you get it every single week. Details have been given about how to get a ... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 11 March 2012: Do you ever look at handsome movie stars in magazines? How about pictures handsome music men. What goes through your head then?... (read in full...)
The expression "stop looking and you'll find someone" isn't working for me!
Q. I've heard this over and over again... That the reason I can't find a girlfriend is because I'm looking for one, and that as soon as I stop looking, I'll suddenly end up in a relationship. "Happens when you least expect it," "I found my partner when ...
A. 11 March 2012: If your going out and being social and your still attracting women, please take a look at what other things could be causing you problems.
Do you seem desperate and eager to please, so women don't respect you as a boyfriend but are glad to have ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my urges may ruin everything!
Q. In my country, relationships are really hard to be understood by foreign people. And that is because of our religion, culture and education. it's just full of weirdness lol. I won't tell you about how it became so complicated but just try to ...
A. 11 March 2012: In traditional societies, you don't have sex, you keep yourself and your boyfriend "pure". That's how things are where you live, so you have to do what other people do. Go out a lot with him, hold hands and talk. People have done this for ... (read in full...)
My parents don't approve of my boyfriend and I hate sneaking around but I have no other option. What should I do?
Q. I am 19 years old. I figured by now my parents wouldn't be able to control my love life but i guess it didn't work out that way. I met a guy, he's 20 and we've been talking for 4 months now. I enjoy being around him and everything about him is just ...
A. 11 March 2012: Will your parents throw you out of the house if you keep seeing this guy? NO
Can your parents lock you in your room and refuse to let you out? NO
Can your parents take away your car? - yes maybe, if they bought it, but if you love this guy so... (read in full...)
B/f inexperienced and winds up hurting me while trying to make me feel good
Q. Ive been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we both virgins and want to stay like that till we both feel ready for sex. The problem is when we do make out he likes to rub my clit but he rubs with alot of force which leaves me ...
A. 11 March 2012: Use lubrication, move his hand and use it to show him how you liked to be touched. Touch his dick very gently at the tip, and get him to touch you gently at the same time. That way he will feel directly exactly what type of touch you like.... (read in full...)
I am 30 years old and desperate to be loved - if only for one day
Q. Hi, sorry for writing a lot but I hope someone here can help me. I am 30 years old and desperate to be loved - if only for one day. All my friends all the people I know in my age group have had at least one relationship. I know that some o...
A. 11 March 2012: I'm sorry for your pain babes. It's difficult to assess why you do better at dating, we can't see you to judge how you dress and act. You have girlfriends, it really is best to talk to one of them. Swallow your pride, tell them you'd really like ... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend has been asked to take another girl to prom by his brother!
Q. My daughter is 15 and has been in a relationship for 10 weeks. Her boyfriend is 15 also. The problem is this....the boyfriends brother cannot go to prom with his own girlfriend, therefore has asked his brother, the 15 yr old, to take his ...
A. 11 March 2012: We don't have proms here. But it could be that the brother is too old to go to the prom and his girlfriend is younger. He doesn't want his girlfriend to have a awful time without him, because he knows that the memory of a prom lasts forever, so he ... (read in full...)
I want to have my ex as a friend again but don't know how to go about it
Q. Need some advice. I miss my ex boyfriend. We were together 6 months in LDR and he broke up with me because of timing and because he couldn't give me what I wanted. This was 3 months ago (ish). The last thing I said to him was that I couldn't be fr...
A. 11 March 2012: Double posting.. poster updates on here http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-get-my-ex-back-as.html
She met this man at university and has seen him several times.... (read in full...)
My FWB and I can't stay away from each other!
Q. Hi everyone sorry if this is long I have been in a fwb for a year now I told him how much I like him he says he likes me to but then we always end up having a disagreement over something mainly lack of not seeing one another he says he is going to ...
A. 11 March 2012: Dump him. He wants sex only and you have fallen in love and want to be his girlfriend. You can't stay away from him, he is not bothered, he can easily not see you for 5 weeks without no problem. Your making dreams in your head and convincing ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem that less and less people use personal restraint in relationships today?
Q. How come less and less people have self restraint these days? There are so many instances about people cheating on their bf/gf, students sleeping with teachers and most recently an acquaintance of mine who slept with her sister's husband. Why does ...
A. 11 March 2012: Everyone keeps on talking about some mythical golden age where everyone was moral, kind and never did anything wrong...
Ummmmm.. what golden age was that, maybe during the Victorian age, which was rife with prostitution and syphilis, or maybe we... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 11 March 2012: "When I meant used I meant the girls who go and sleep around with one guy only to be with someone else 3 days later"
I'm a bit curious about this statement. What do you mean, sleep with one guy and then go sleep with someone 3 days later. ... (read in full...)
Porn and erectile dysfunction?
Q. I have a question about porn and ed. I have come to discover stories of men who have trouble getting erect over a real woman when they have used porn alot. Is that because those porn women are hotter? Would they still have that problem if a woman ...
A. 10 March 2012: That's abuse of porn and masturbation, they have wanked themselves silly and now the penis doesn't work. It's nothing to do with the pictures or porn, it's too much masturbation on their own so they don't know what to do when they get a real woman ... (read in full...)
I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 10 March 2012: You have bigger problems than a credit card if you husband won't let you earn money, won't let give you any money and you and your kids are wearing rags. This is domestic abuse, you are practically a slave. What would you do if one day he decid... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 10 March 2012: Your update still doesn't make it better. In your head women are either "leftovers" or "dating material", you don't seem to think of them as "fellow human beings". You only seem to relate to women as objects for you and other men to "use up". Do ... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 10 March 2012: *searches memory banks* - with pictures you use more imagination, and you are still left thinking about the act. However, I don't think you even use the person in the picture to imagine with, they are just a trigger a starting point, you use your ... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 10 March 2012: So your not a troll, and your not kidding, your just a egotistical kid who thinks that your gods gift or something... at 21 or 201 I'm surprised if any woman even wants to shake your hand let alone date you.
You got disgusting manners and your off... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 7 March 2012: "My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?" Is your relationship only based on beauty and sex? If you got a face scar tomorr... (read in full...)
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