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My strategy failed: I lied to my bf saying I was pregant to try to get him back. Would telling him I miscarried work?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Faded love, Health, Pregnancy, Sex, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 December 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *ustscreamkeitah writes:

OK; soo i Have an ex boyfriend and i am still in love with him... i would love to know how to get him back ? he is my very first love, but i think i made a mistake. Because i lied to him and told him i was pregnant, just to see if he would come back to me... what do i do now ? i think this plan is backfiring before my eyes.. I'm really scared. It is going to back fire.. soo would it be ok if i fake a miscarriage?

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A male reader, rolfen Lebanon +, writes (27 December 2010):

rolfen agony auntIt would be OK if you stop lying for a change. Start by having morals and say the truth.

I for example would not be interested to date a girl who would lie to me and dance on one feet or do any other stuff that is wrong just to get me. Be a good person, regardless of consequences. Then you can call yourself a complete person, and can have a relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010):

What an awful way to get back with someone! You telling him you're pregnant is one thing (something that could cause A LOT of worry/stress/pressure on a young person) but telling him you've had a miscarriage could cause someone future damage, it could possibly effect him in the future. He will always have that in his head, that he got a girl pregnant at a young age and she lost it. My ex boyfriend was in a similar situation, his ex girlfriend told him the exact same thing just to keep him, only she told him she had an abortion. Then for years he had it in his head she aborted his baby. I think it's awful, as it can really hurt some people. It may keep him for a little, but not for long, as you're not pregnant. And even if you were, he'll be staying for the baby, not you. Never heard the saying sex won't make him love you and a baby won't make him stay?

You need to let this guy go and accept things weren't working out for you and him in the relationship and move on with your life. I know it's hard, especially when he's your first. But if you've broken up, then there's obviously problems. If I was you I'd save myself the hassel and just tell him it was your mistake thinking you was pregnant. There's a lot of other ways to try and get back with someone you know.

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (25 December 2010):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntYeah I'd say you used the dirtiest, lowest trick in the world to get your guy back.

Any relationship based on lies is doomed to fail miserably.

Please let him go. Be honest with him. Don't trap him. Its not fair what you're doing and deep down you know it.

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A male reader, Welsh Uncle Dave United Kingdom +, writes (25 December 2010):

Gotta be honest, you've blown it - you've lied to him to get him back and in a way that is virtually entrapment.

You've broken up for a reason and this is a desperate and shallow attempt to win him back which will only blow up in your face.

The reason? You will not be able to keep this lie permanently (and if you do, who knows what else you could make up in the future if things go wrong again).

If you don't tell him and worst case he finds out, not only will you never hear from again, he will most likely tell everyone and your name will be mud.

Faking a miscarriage isn't something that you can just act plus you have to think of the psycological affect this could have on him - believing he is going to be a dad and then 'lost' his unborn child.

You have to begin to accept that you have made a stupid mistake and you have no future with this boy. You are young and people tend to make more mistakes when they are younger. The most important thing is you learn from those mistakes.

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A female reader, Mjfbla United States +, writes (25 December 2010):

Mjfbla agony auntLol I did the same thing :) It didnt backfire really. Basically go along with it for as long as you can (unless he wants to tell people), then research miscarraiges find out what happens. When you feel ready call him ask him to come over and explain you had a one. Act some what depressed because that generally happens. I'm not saying this will get him back. Or that its right. But telling him will seriously screw things up. He wont understand. Oh if he says you should see a doctor just give that kind of who cares I dont want to go attitude.

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