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My husband wants to hide me from the girl he wants a baby with

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Family, Health, Marriage problems, Pregnancy, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2018)
A female Mozambique age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i have been married for 4 years, i had to remove my womb due to medical conditions. my husband and i agreed on the operation. now he wants a baby so i said to him he must get someone very far and i dont want to be affected by it. he now got someone from his country and he tells me he want us to go rent someone and rent out the house coz he is scared that this lady will find out about me and not give him a baby. i am confused on what to do. i want to leave him but i know i still love him. Please help

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (12 April 2018):

If you live in Mozambique, there is adoption available. Depending on your economic situation, you have this option; but assuming that some random-woman will give-up a child she conceived with your husband might be unrealistic. She could turn around, keep her child, and demand child-support. You might not have thought this out; in a rush to please your husband.

If you go through a reputable agency to find a surrogate; you get to meet the woman who will birth your child. Your husband doesn't put his paws on her.

If he won't consider an adoption or surrogacy; YOU should consider a divorce. Letting your husband go out to find a woman to have his kid wasn't a wise move. Why would he let you meet the women he's having sex with? You wouldn't approve of any of them. A baby isn't guaranteed on the first attempt; if he's conceiving a child through sex with other women, that is.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (12 April 2018):

What is wrong with you? You gave your husband permission to have sex with other women? There is little advice that can be given to you about this; because you have already told him it is okay.

There is nothing you can do; if you told him to go have a baby with somebody else. If he was eager to do it, he doesn't really care much about you or your feelings.

You didn't consider adoption? You just told him go ahead and have a a baby, when he knows you can't have one. I can just assume your culture offers no real rights to women; so now you have to see if he loves you enough to know how this upsets you.

Well, there is one option. Divorce him. The horse is out of the barn! He has the freedom to mate with whomever he pleases!

You made a mistake by allowing him to go outside the marriage to get himself a baby. Most women don't just get pregnant and hand their babies over to strangers. She may just decide to keep the baby and the daddy!

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (12 April 2018):

N91 agony auntLet me get this right.

Your husband wants a baby so he’s going to get a random woman pregnant and keep you secret from her and her secret from you? Then when the baby comes what happens? I really don’t understand. He lives a life with this woman away from you with the baby? Or he’s planning to take this baby and live with you?

The whole thing makes no sense to me. What about adoption or fostering? Are they not available where you live?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (12 April 2018):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI adoption available in your country?

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