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My family frown on intermingling with others. So how do I, a virgin, handle my sexual desire and wish to be married?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Family, Friends, Marriage problems, Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 May 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I really dont know what to do.

I dont have a boyfriend but a big crush on this somebody.

Also i am a virgin and 19.

I belong to a narrow minded family where intermingling is not considered good.

My sexual desire is driving me crazy.

I want to get married and dont know how to say this to my parents

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012):

You identify as living in the U.S. and I'm pretty sure that legally, your parent CANNOT stop you dating.

All that holds you back is you.

You are an adult. Act like one and make your own decisions. Stop relying on others to do it for you.

You want to date, then to hell with your parents. You are not a slave and they are not slavers. It's time you and they both realised that.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 May 2012):

Honeypie agony auntBeing horny (pardon the crude expression) is no reason to get married. Sex is not going to keep a marriage going, you need a little more then that.

However, if you never get to "intermingle" as you call it how will you ever meet a potential suitor?

Take the time and get an education, trust me you won't die from not getting married or having sex asap.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012):

Iamheretohelpyou-

Our cultural background does not allow dating so that is out of question and in our family marriages occur when the person has done graduation. I can recommend a guy if i have fallen in love with someone or know somebody but not now as this is the age of concentrating on studies only.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 May 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt It sounds like you belong to a culture of arranged marriages and you don't wish to fight against that, am I correct ?

In this case, it's not too difficult. You can just tell your parents that you feel it's time for you create your own family, - you don't need to mention your sexual desires at all. I don't think they will be surprised or upset , if it's the kind of culture where the parents have a say in when and whom their daughters are going to marry, I am sure they are already prepared to give you away to a suitable candidate.

Then again, wanted to be married just because of your sexual urges is a bad reason in any culture , I think. Whether they let you marry the boy you like ( and that you don't know ) or someone else chosen by your parents.

Tolerating sexual frustration is much easier than tolerating a possibly bad marriage. So think it over very well before approaching your parents.

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