A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I am in a situation that I really badly need help with. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years now off and on. The first year was terrible. I always caught him talking to his ex girlfriend. He was telling her he loved her and that he doesn't know why he is with me. On my birthday last year he left her for me, and I had to spend my birthday at a homeless shelter. He had sex with her on our bed and bragged about. I was stupid and took him back. Then after that, he started to abuse me. I still took him back. We got our own apartment in January. Then he left me again for his ex. I was so upset I had a nervous breakdown. Then a month later, I took him back again. He never stopped abusing me. After we moved to our new apartment, his brother started talking to him again. I really liked that he listened to me when I would tell him about my problems. I started to notice that he looked at me a lot. He started to talk to me a lot more. Then I started texting him and he told me he really likes me. I started to feel the same and hanging out with him a lot more.. I thought about him a lot. Even though I am with his brother, I started to fall for him. Really fast. He told me he loves me. I feel the same. He started out by giving me a hug. It gave me butterflies. Then we kissed. It made me feel so good. I really love the way he treats me. But his brother(the one I am with) says he will kick his butt if he even texts me anymore. I cried a lot. His brother lies to my bf and says he never loved me and all this stuff. It is hurting me. I really am falling hard for my boyfriend's brother. And I don't know if he would pick me over his brother. I am sick of being treated the way I do.. I want to be with my bfs brother, but I don't know if he feels the same way. I hope someone can help me out...
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing of it is though they didn't grow up together. They have different moms. They just got reunited again and I still am not sure what to do.. He lies to his brother because he is afraid of him and he told me to go to the police if he hurts me again. He is trying to look out for me.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Leave this guy immediately, report him to the police for abusing you and forget about his bro.
Get as far from this situation as you can!!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Blood will usually triumph over passion for another.
The brothers will stick together, eventually, and you will be the one who loses.
Just the act of a brother slyly cheating on his brother's girlfriend is not a good recommendation of the second brother that he would do this.
Certainly he sees you put up with abuse from his brother. What a despical boyfriend. To fail you on your birthday. To lie and cheat.
And despite your own health situation where he brought you to a very very low ebb. This is UTTERLY unacceptable.
Brother 1 and brother 2 both lie. They just lie to different people. You included, sadly. They even lie to each other.
Can you find a good nearby women's shelter? Why should you have to put up with this appalling abuse?
Get free of both brothers. Then when you have rebuilt your self esteem you can consider meeting brother two. But I would not hold out a lot of hope. Once you do step away from this abusive situation brother one and two will probably grow closer.
If brother two is a good man and able to stand up to his brother he will be worth considering. But they were brought up in the same environment and the same parents. And brother two sees the example of brother one.
You are not helping brother two to see with his own eyes that abusers must be avoided and that walking away is the only answer.
while you stay brother two sees that a girl can still stay loyal even if she is being disrespected and abused
If you do leave brother two will be able to say to brother one - you lost her because you abused her.
And if brother two is a good guy he will admire you even more.
Do what is the right decision for YOU. Your life can only get better once you are safe and well supported without the constant threat of disrespect and abuse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): I think you need to run from both of them. If your boyfriend is abusive it's very possible that his brother will be, too. Not definite, of course, but they grew up in the same environment and had the same influences. The fact that your boyfriend's brother told your bf that he (the brother) doesn't love you, and whatever else he said, is troubling. Either the brother is toying with your feelings, or he's afraid of your bf. Neither possibility bodes well for a future relationship with the brother. Also, think about it, do you really want to see your bf at every family event if you and the brother do get together? Talk about awkward!You don't deserve to be treated the way your bf treats you. Get away from him so you can be free to meet a man who will really love you and treat you well.
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