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I talk regularly to an ex, but he never told me he got married. Now he wants FWB with me. What do I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Friends, Friends with Benefits, Marriage problems, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, *enise67 writes:

I need some advice, I dated my boyfriend for 4 years, I am still in love with him but,we broke up in 2009 and every now and then I email him just to say "HI'.

My friend told me he recently (2010) got married, I was shocked. I asked him if he was married and he said yes.

We still email each other but, I had recently borrowed money from him, and he said just pay me back with interest, LOL.........i said why?

i know, just playing stupid, basically he wants sex from me, he said "You know like old times"

he is married. What do I do, or does he just want me for sex? please help

View related questions: broke up, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2012):

he's not interested in a relationship of any kind with you:

- he doesn't share information about his life with you. you didn't even know he got married until someone else told you

- you're the one who emails him to say hi

- you're the one who borrowed money from him

I suggest you be open and confront him and ask him what exactly he has in mind, does he mean he wants to sleep with you? ask him why. confront him rather than asking us what he's up to

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (21 January 2012):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi Denise67,

You know that he's married now, so it's up to you what you want from him. If you do get involved with him, you know it's only going to be an affair and he's not leaving his wife. Basically, yeah he's using you for sex. The thing is, what if you get emotionally attached to him again, then you are going to be heart broken and alone. I feel sorry for his wife too. I hope you can make the right decision and what's best for you.

Good luck/best wishes

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (21 January 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntHe wants the sex only, if he wanted more from you he would not have married someone else, now he is planning to cheat on her and string you along for a bit longer.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (21 January 2012):

Ciar agony auntSex only.

He didn't marry you, he isn't leaving his wife for you and he isn't the one sending you emails out of the blue just to say 'hi'.

Pay him back the money he loaned you and don't send him any more emails.

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A female reader, Aunty Anne United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2012):

i think you know in your heart what to do....if he can do this when he's only just got married then he's not worth even talking to. you may think you still love him but can you really love someone who would do this to their wife?. of course he just wants sex no matter what excuses he comes up with...he will just use you,if you let him...you will end up hanging around waiting for an email to go have sex when its suits him. you are worth more than that. dont waste another minute on him...see him for what he is and be glad you are out of it. pay him his money, in cash! then delete him out of your life. lifes too short, you wasted 4 years of your time on him...dont waste a minute more !

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