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He's acting as if I don't exist.

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Social Media, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2018) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2018)
A female United States age 22-25, *eJah writes:

Should I try to make this work?

Me and my boyfriend took a little break from each other because of him constantly keeping in touch with his ex that he got out of a relationship with because of me a few months ago. We worked it out and things were good for a few weeks but now I’m finding more messages that he’s sending to her and this time he’s asking her for nudes. She ignores him, she never gives in, but it’s him acting as if I don’t exist as his girlfriend that’s bothering me.

View related questions: his ex

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (9 March 2018):

He's not really your boyfriend if he's still in-touch with his ex on a regular basis. He wanted a different sex-partner, so he's temporarily spending some time with you. Meanwhile; hoping she'll take him back.

He's a player. They have several different girlfriends at once. Playing them all along at the same-time. Ladies who stay with players while knowing they are, aren't very bright. At least, that's what he thinks.

She may not really want him back, but for the sake of her ego and the fact she feels you're a homewrecker; she will do whatever she can to keep a wedge between you. He's playing you for a fool.

You don't get to be happy with a man you took from somebody else, my dear. That's the karma behind cheating!

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (9 March 2018):

N91 agony auntOkay so this is your second question now about the same guy.

You seemed to have taken all the comments on board on the last post after your update but have clearly decided to ignore them.

So basically, you're hoping your BF will magically change his ways if you keep asking us for help. News flash, he won't change. He has shown his true colours multiple times and you're ignoring it. Are you that desperate to not be alone that you will put up with this?

Why are you seriously considering to do more on your side? He is asking another female for nude photos. If you don't understand how disrespectful that is and that you can do better then you're really not ready to be dating people.

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2018):

02DuszJ agony auntYou know why she doesn't reply to his nude requests? Because she's probably blocked him. Most women can EASILY see him for what he is.

If a guy is making moves on someone when he has a girlfriend and doesn't break up with his gf that's called cheating. He did it WITH you and now he's doing it TO you.

No matter how you feel about someone if they're WITH someone else you are not at liberty to do anything about your feelings. RARELY do affairs work out, hardly ever the stats are bad. There are exceptions to every rule but he's not left her alone has he? So you're not the exception. Just another sap being taken advantage of. Learn from this experience!

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A female reader, louiselistens United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2018):

louiselistens agony auntHi DeJah,

You must be feeling hurt by your boyfriend's rude behavior and the attention he is giving to his ex.

Your boyfriend giving his time and attention to his ex shows that he still feels some kind of a connection to her and may still want to be with her. He clearly is not ready for a relationship with anybody else yet.

Move on from him. You deserve to be with somebody who prioritizes you, not people they used to date.

Best wishes,


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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2018):

02DuszJ agony auntYou asked us for advice on the same cheating rat last week.. why don't you reread that advice rather just ignore it? He doesn't give a dime for you or anyone else.. just his labido.

Time for you to get a grip on reality and make better choices that will allow you to live a happier life. You know that Einstein quote "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" you keep thinking he'll change when he's shown you his true murky colours OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

He's a cheating rat and this is a trainwreck. You know you're as bad as him at the momemt.. youre old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.. how you're feeling now is how his gf felt x10.. that's karma. Please redeem yourself and get rid of this hornball.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (9 March 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhy do you think you are not worth better than this? You KNOW he is not only texting his ex but asking for nude pictures.

Look in the mirror, tell yourself loudly and firmly, "I am worth more than this", then dump his sorry backside and leave him to text his ex - who obviously realizes she dodged a bullet when he decided to transfer his questionable affections to you and ignores him. Take a leaf out of her book and do the same.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntIf you need to take "breaks" from a partner, the relationship isn't working. Taking "breaks" is the precursor for a "break up"

Your Bf is inappropriate with his ex-gf and disrespectful to BOTH you and his ex.

Why bother with this guy? At some point he will try to do the same with other women, not just his ex-gf. He knows it's NOT OK, yet... he is still DOING it.

If a guy will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you. That is almost a GIVEN.

It is NOT going to work. He is presuming that because you were OK with cheating WITH him on his GF you should be OK that he can do what he wants.

Let this loser go and LEARN from this. Don't date guys who has a partner, no matter the sob-story they tell you.

His ex seems to be the one with class and self-respect in this story. Take a page out of her book and dump and ignore this guy. You do NOT owe him to keep dating him.

You already know what he is capable off (cheating) so there can't really be any trust between you. And HE knows you were a willing participant to cheating to, so he doesn't really respect you either. What is there to hold on to? WHY waste your time on a guy there is no real future with? You will ALWAYS wonder who he is talking too, who he is sexting, who he is asking for nudes or who he might be trying to CHEAT with... How is that a good basis for a relationship?

Are you that desperate for a Bf that you will let some cheater walk all over you?

If you think because you were (pardon my English) silly enough to cheat with him, that you now HAVE to stick with him, you are wrong. you don't OWE him your time, affection or attention.

Want more for yourself and from your relationships.

Come on!

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (9 March 2018):

Aunty BimBim agony auntLittle breaks rarely work. It would seem the ex girlfriend has woken up to him quicker than you have, her ignoring him and not giving in is what you should be doing.

If he is still constantly contacting her, and acting as if you don't exist you need to be kind to yourself and be like his ex .... ignore him and move on.

He cheated on her with you, and now is trying to cheat on you with her .... c'mon surely you are not on some deserted island and he is the only male around for 5000 miles.

There is nothing there to make work, he is a cheater and you have tied yourself to a first class loser.

Do yourself a favour and make the little break a permanent one.

Go on, you don't have anything to lose, but much to gain, starting with your self respect.

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