A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i started seeing a girl as friendsid heard a lot about her ( she's easy,been with this person,been with that person etc etc) but i didn't care because i make up my own mind about people and me and this girl got on great so after about a month of innocently seeing each other as friends (nothing sexual happened) we hugged,held hands and got close but it was always innocent anyway....so i ask her on a date,we go 4 it and its going great till she tells me she sent sum1 topless pictures a couple of weeks ago....i admired her honesty but i was literally like WTF...so anyway we went back 2 hers got a bit close and had a kiss etc but no sex (i didn't want to rush) so anyway the pictures issue get brought up again but in the back of my mind i was really getting wound up.so then i ask her out and we start going out (i was suppressing being angry about the pics) we went up 2 london 2 see a band got drunk while we were pissed she said she thought the guys in the band were hot (why would u say that 2 your date) and she said she was still upset about her ex ....so i split up with her on the way home and i was just like look i can't do this.but like a twat we got back together and gave it a go as time progressed things started 2 eat at me (she had pictures on her walls of her and her friends on nights out but when i found out about people she had one night stands with etc were in the photos i got angry.(wouldn't any guy?) so anyway then we started to argue about the pics she sent just before our relationship started (going she sent sum1 topless pictures made me question all the rumours and things people had told me about her) also on her Facebook there was a topless picture of her on holiday in tenerife which again pretty much crushed me....so we argued and i basically said why do u treat yourself like shit and let people use u etc etc and she started 2 cry and said because she's never felt loved i felt bad and all talk of that manner was dropped 4 awhile.just 2 set the scene i paid 4 everything i sent her flowers 2 work regularly and bought her many spontaneous presents (i wanted 2 treat her like a princess (cheesy i no).anyway so a year down the line of our relationship i started being a bit of a nob making dick head comments about the photos etc etc we split up and got back many times etc etc etc eventually we split up (i dumped her) within 3 weeks she's already in a new relationship she's emailed me and admits she still has feelings 4 me and that some of the feelings will probably never go away (bit harsh on the guy she's with) I'm just focusing on re building my life and being happy and adequate with my own life etc etc anyway i just want to get peoples opinions because i did say and do sum nasty stuff and constantly break up with her but i was also really decent at the same time when we split up she sad I've changed her and that she would never be slutty again etc etc so just way peoples opinionTo Summarise:she sent topless pics to sum1 while we were seeing each othershe had a topless picture on facebokshe had a reputation 4 being easy(slutty)we had 2 sti scares due 2 her previous actions (luckily i am clean)she had pics on her wall of her with friends (many people that she slept with.i was harsh said sum bad stuffsplit up with her a lotignored herwas moodyangry etc
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crush, drunk, facebook, flowers, got back together, her ex, on holiday, one night stand, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (24 October 2012):
 I would forget the rights and wrongs and class it as a relationship that "didn`t" work.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): she has got issues because she feels unloved.she will always feel unloved.her sexual behavior is not going to change.do you really want that kind of baggage?myself i suspect she is hot in bed and that is what you are addicted to the sex and it is not real love you are feeling.i would not have got involved with her because of her past an 'her present'.let it go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): Not many guys could be secure with someone like her. She would be okay for an open type relationship but nothing else.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 October 2012):
 You were very unfair to her, and she didn't deserve the way you treated her. I would have advise against her talking right away about her sexual past, even from 2 weeks prior to you dating, but she was faithful to you.
She has emotional baggage, that is for sure. But she was always honest and forthright with you, and you flung it in her face.
If you couldn't handle her past, you should have never progressed the relationship. You had her for a year and you still hurt her over some stupid pictures she took before she was with you. That's like taking a wad of $100 bills and setting them on fire. You had a good thing. She did not have a good thing in you.
You should not go back to her. She needs to get some help dealing with her issues, and more importantly, she needs someone who will love her no matter what is in her past, and that isn't you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): Well, all I want to say is that if you couldn't let go of her past, how could you two have a future together? I can understand how it could be upsetting that she had a promiscuous past, but if she was completely faithful and honest (which she was from what it sounds like) during your relationship, then why would you be mean to her and judge her based on what she did in her past? It's obviously something you're not ready to deal with and one thing you can take away from this relationship is that in the future you need to know whether or not you can deal with answers to certain questions before you ask them. Also, if there was something she could have done (ie take the picture off of facebook/remove certain pictures, etc), you should have talked to her about it instead of putting her down. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (24 October 2012):
 This relationship didnt bring out the best in you so its best to just let go for good. The woman just isnt relationship material, you might have feelings for each other, but it seems she has too many issues for you to handle. Just reflect on the relationship and pick out the important lessons and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): I think you are seeking justification for being less than admirable.
Crop it up as a loss...Learn from it, regarding YOUR actions. You have no control over hers. Irregardless of what she is, YOU are what YOU are.
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