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How do I stop X, (B’s father) having sex with me?. Don't want B (my Bf) to find out

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Family, Health, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 June 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 June 2015)
A female Botswana age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am a 34 year old woman and have been living with my boyfriend, C, since I divorced my husband fifteen years ago. Both C and I love having sex and we have at least twice a day. C's widowed father, X, 57 years old, lives with us.

In January this year C had to go on a training course and was away for three months. Three weeks after C left for training X and I were watching a late night TV movie which was highly erotic.

I became highly aroused. I looked at X and realised that X, too was highly aroused. I had not had any sex for three weeks. To cut a long story short I ended letting X have sex with me that night. I thought that it was a once off thing although X spent the night with me, having sex with me repeatedly.

How wrong I was. X wanted me again the next night and the next and the next... I was flattered when X told me that having sex with me was the best sex he ever had. X was very good and I thoroughly enjoyed X having sex with me. X continued to have sex with me every night until my boyfriend B returned. B and I resumed our twice daily sex.

I thought that my fling with X had ended but I did not count on X insisting on continuing our affair. I told him that now that B had returned we should stop having sex but he insisted that we continue our affair without B’s knowledge. He was so persistent that I succumbed to him. B and I continue to have sex twice a day but now his father has sex with me once a day.

How do I stop X, (B’s father) having sex with me?. I tried reasoning with him but he threatens to tell my boyfriend, B if I refuse to have sex with him. I do not want B to find out.

A

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A female reader, vonnie100 Angola +, writes (5 June 2015):

what goes around, comes around. don't tell your f anything especially if he has close relationshi with his dad......this is bound to send him to straight to a psychiatric ward! find the quickest escape route nd start your life over again. go for therapy for your addiction!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2015):

I actually think you might need some professional help for sex addiction.

Why would you watch a porno with your boyfriend's dad anyway? I mean, I'd feel awkward from the opening credits and leave the room at that stage.

Judging on how quick you were to cheat on your boyfriend, I'd say it's not really a relationship but just enjoyable daily sex so when that was gone, you easily filled the void somewhere else.

Why do you not want B to find out? Are you afraid of hurting him or are you afraid you'll miss your twice a day? I know that sounds terrible of me to say but I don't get the impression there's as little emotional investment with B as there is with X.

I wish you all the best.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (3 June 2015):

chigirl agony auntEnd the affair and move out. You have already broken your relationship with your boyfriend. It is over, and you must face the consequence.

Or, play tough back. Tell him that his son will hate him if he finds out, and you will tell your boyfriend how you tried to put an end to it but he wouldn't let you... And that your boyfriend will believe you over him. See how that plays out.

Or, just keeping having sex with them both. You reap what you sow.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWell, THIS is what you get when you cheat. And you didn't just CHEAT you SCREWED his father!

It will come out eventually. These thing ALWAYS do.

Not having had sex for 3 weeks is NOT excuse to cheat. There is masturbation for those "drought times".

You have to PUT on your big girl panties and tell your BF. And tell his dad to go F himself.

You made your bed, little lady... now you can lie in it.

Sorry, I don't really feel bad for you. You made a piss poor choice and it has consequences.

I think your BF deserves the truth... and the CHOICE to end it with you or forgive you.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (3 June 2015):

Abella agony auntthere will come a time when the truth will come out. The father may tell his son one day if he is irritated by the son. Or your Bf may come home unexpectedly and find you and his dad together and will feel betrayed by the two of you.

Any way you look at it this is a lose:lose situation for you.

Move on and break up with your Bf and move out and leave your Bf a note that you are sorry for leaving but you have no option.

The father has betrayed his son. You have betrayed your Bf and it will all end in tears eventually.

The decision to allow this in the beginning was the first mistake. Now it has escalated to the point where the father is threatening to tell if you do not continue the relationship.

Even if you introduced the father to a woman who might be interested in the father then invariably the father would boast to the woman and then the secret of your relationship with the father would be spread to others.

In a conflict blood is thicker than water and it will be very easy for the father to paint you as the jezebel who seduced the father and then paint you as the aggressor in all this.

Find somewhere else to live and move on. You need to move far away otherwise the father will invariably be knocking on your door at 10pm, giving you an unwanted reputation in the eyes of your new neighbours.

You don't need all this eventual drama.

Move on and call it a lesson learnt in poor judgement and questionable decisions at the outset.

Your Bf is the one who has been betrayed by his father and by his Gf.

It has gone to far now for you to be able to patch things up.

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