A
female
age
30-35,
*eepika
writes:I'm in love with a married guy.He has been married for six years and we have been having an affair for five years.He has two children with his wife.but he says that he loves me a lot.i also love him a lot.. i need him.i really need him and we both cant live without each other.hI can't share him even with his wife.he too cant share me.my parents are searching for a boy for my marriage,My married lover is too possesive about me. If I get married to someone else he has promised me that he will marry me within three years of that.these all are his positive pointsHis negative points are that he abuses me a lot,he compares me with his wife and says, "You dont love me, my wife loves me so much, she will do anything for me",and also he tells me to "try to be like her, she cares for me but now you don't love me and you don't care for me".I feel that is abusing me. Everytime, whenever i call him he starts abusing me.He is having doubts about me. That I talk to any other guy instead of him. But he is wrong, i love him a lot that don't talk to any one else.now I am in trouble, what to do? If i DO call him he will not receive my calls.When I DON'T call him he says, "i know you are engaged talking to some one else that's why you haven't called me"If if fortunately, he receives my call then he abuses me.. aOn the one hand he says he loves me and on the other side he called me "call girl" in front of his friends PLease suggest to me, what should I do?
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female
reader, deepika +, writes (4 March 2011):
deepika is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for advising with your best suggestions.... but the problem is he can die for me he had eaten poison for three times.... and I was really scared at that time.... he says I can die for you but can't leave them as he has to live in the same society..... now suggest me what to do??? I just can't imagine my life without him......
A
male
reader, welsh  +, writes (3 March 2011):
I am really surprised. He called you a call girl in front of his friends and you still love him? He abuses you and you still love him? Get out soon before he messes you up. He is just using you and possibly others like you.
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A
female
reader, hotinlove  +, writes (3 March 2011):
You are hurting this much now when its a secret from everyone else. Do you really want to marry that man someday? I have to be honest, i dont think he will ever marry you, by the sounds of it " he adores his wife so much, he wants you to be just like her." I have an idea, why doesnt he just date his own wife and leave you the hell alone. No one deserves to be disrespected and told they need to act differently. You are a beautiful strong woman, just think how strong and how much better you will feel about yourself if he is out of the picture. I wish you the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 You know what you should do : DUMP HIM.
No, love is not a good excuse for any kind of selfish , coward and irresponsible behaviour. He is hurting his wife and family- and you are helping him, in the name of " love ". Then,when we go to take a closer look, we see this love is about verbal and psychological abuse, paranoid jealousy, mistrust and disrespect. ???
Why do you think this is the best you can possibly get from life ? Have the courage to expect better, healthier relationships in future and drop this lover - drop him as the bad habit that he is.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 Sweetie, you need to dump this man. He is a user and an abuser.He is only using you for sex, if you were so important to him he would divorce his wife to be with you.This man will say and do anything to keep you as his 'call girl' and his wife, in other words, have the best of both worlds.
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