A
male
age
26-29,
*hekidamidstall
writes:It's been just about 2 months since my ex and I broke up, and I've been feeling quite better. I've been noticing, however, that I've been focusing more inward, as of late. I feel as if each day goes by, i focus more and more on myself and look further inward, and I've been confused as to whether I'd be ready to let my feelings go to anyone else at all. There's this girl who i met not too long ago, I'd say a few short weeks ago. Through our talking we find that we really have a lot in common, especially with what we'd want in an ideal relationship. We aren't able to see each other in person because she lives one state over, but I feel she's the ideal kind of girl I'd want in a real relationship. She's told me she feels the same about me. I feel I've taken a real liking her, but part of me feels so uncomfortable about this all. I told her about my feelings, and she said she's willing to wait for me to get sorted out. All of this happened merely days ago.However, as we continued talking up to today, and she tells me sweet things and becomes overall affectionate through text. I start to feel sad and get anxious about if i really am feeling the same way about her, and that feeling turns into guilt because i don't feel so comfortable about expressing affection towards her. While she seems totally fine with it. I start to worry at times whether or not i really feel the same way about her. In my mind i know she'd be a great girlfriend, but right now emotionally I'm not sure if I'd be there. I want to experience that spark, that happiness again, and with her, but there are times that i feel so doubtful that i'd be able to feel that way about her. Is time really all i need to sort this out, and am i just pressuring myself in any way? I don't want my confusion to drive her away after a long period of time if this were to persist, because i feel she'd be such a great girlfriend, and part of me feels i like her alot, but theres always that doubt that i don't exactly feel the same way towards her and wont be really happy if i were to be in a relationship with her in the near future.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (3 March 2011):
Give yourself some time because you still need to sort things out. gettting distracted really works, so spend time with friends, work, help in the house, tidy your room, or play sports. Spending time out of the house has been the most effective thing for me, so I suggest that too.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 Ok yes I think you just need to give yourself more time. It is clear that you do like this girl and that is great, but if you still are having doubts then dont rush in to anything and dont do anything that you feel uncomfortable with. Your heart needs to be completely mended before you go in to another relationship. You have only known this girl for a few short weeks therefore just take your time and get to know her and look forward to the future. Dont pressure yourself in to anything just go with the flow and do whatever you feel comfortable with.
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A
female
reader, annelene  +, writes (3 March 2011):
i personally think that you shouldnt get too hung up on this girl cause clearly you arent over your ex as yet.. this girl does seem like a nice girl and probably wants a relationship in time but all you want is a rebound to get over your ex .. please dont use this girl because even though she says she undrestands now.. she'll hurt badly later on if u allow her to get too attached! rem girls get attached quite quickly and guys are forever confused so think about moving foward with her before losing her for good as a buddy .. you might get into the relationship and then realise you never wanted to be there but then it will be too late.. we always realise how much we want something wen its not there but wen it is there we take it for granted or dnt want it anymore if u get wat i mean
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