A
female
age
26-29,
*eaneelily
writes:I was texting / meeting a guy (let's call him Fred, this isn't his name) and was seeing each other for about 9weeks.. Then for some reason he stopped talking to me. He said he had family issues and personal problems and can't give me what I want, he said he's not the type of guy to be texting all day and he feels he needs to be on his own. He knew I wanted things to carry on. Never did I throw the words 'I want a relationship' on him. So not as if I've scared him off. When we did speak he used to speak to me in a way that he didn't trust me. You can tell he's insecure and I knew straight away from the way he acts around me and the way he talks. Clearly got trust issues. I wanted to take things slow and just to have that one person to be with, I have trust issues too. So yeah he stopped talking to me for say 3/4 weeks. That's a long time to go from speaking everyday to not atall. Then I hooked up with an old flame (lets call him john, this isn't his name)) just a one night thing. And then the week after I hooked up with john ended up seeing Fred on a night out and staying at his house. So at his house fred said he had heard that I went to johns house. I said yeah I did. But he doesn't know I slept with him. So yeah after this me and Fred didn't speak again for a few more weeks. Then all of a sudden Fred text me calling me every name under the sun saying I'm horrible I went back to his house this and that. We had a massive argument and I'm confused because I've not spoke to him for weeks ?? And he's gone mad and now fully won't speak to me. I've tried talking to him I'm even on holiday and been texting him he just keeps saying he doesn't care and to let him be. But I don't want to. I can't stop thinking about I'm now what can I do ??? I really really want him back.
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insecure, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (20 October 2016):
 He may be having a hard time but it's no excuse for him to act the way he did.
A
female
reader, Seaneelily +, writes (20 October 2016):
Seaneelily is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFred has just turned 23 and lives with his mum and brother. I do know he is going through a hard time at home his mum has cancer and so does his grandma. I know he has had one serious relationship and she cheated on him
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A
female
reader, Seaneelily +, writes (20 October 2016):
Seaneelily is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFred has just turned 23 and lives with his mum and brother. I do know he is going through a hard time at home his mum has cancer and so does his grandma. I know he has had one serious relationship and she cheated on him
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A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (19 October 2016):
I'm sorry to say, but this is how abuse starts. He's mentally abusing you to control you, and that could later on lead to physical abuse. Please don't accept this. If you don't want to listen to people on here, please please go and talk to a therapist. This situation can go very wrong very quickly.
Hope this helps
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2016): How old is Fred?.Has he had many relationships before?. Does he live alone or with family?.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2016): I'm sorry. This post made me laugh so much. I am in an on/off relationship, and my boyfriend really is called Fred!!.
I think you should write down all the pros and cons about him . If there are more cons than pros, end it. I am going to do that to decide about my relationship.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 October 2016):
Why do you want him back?
Tells you he wants his own space, so you do your own thing and he complains. He's not going to commit to you or else he already would of done.
If you continue speaking to this guy you're probably going to end up in and on/off relationship for the forseeable future. I really don't think it's worth wasting your time and effort.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (19 October 2016):
 WHY do you want to be with this strange insecure vicious man who calls you names?
Do you not think you deserve better, i.e. to be treated with respect and consistency? If not, then the problem lies with YOU and how you see yourself.
You should thank your lucky stars you have had such clear early warning of his true personality.
One word of advice: RUN!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 October 2016):
 Fred is cuckoo, and / or affected by a bad case of dog-in-the manger syndrome. He does not want you but he does not want others to have you. Ridicolous. What would you want with a jerk like him ?
Anyway ( and lucky for you ) he told you repeatedly that he does not care and to let him be. Then, -show some pride , some self- respect and let him be.
You surely aren't unworthy enough that you have to beg men to be with you- and men like Fred, then !
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A
female
reader, defer2ok  +, writes (19 October 2016):
No you don't . We always want what we think we can't have. If you were that sure there's no way you would have hookup with John. Men have to trust you and in order to this you must be trust worthy. Best thing to do is move on nothing gained nothing lost. Enjoy your youth and get to know who you are cause ten years down the road you will be different, better. It isn't like you don't have anything to look forward to. Men will come and they will go, remain kind and compassionate towards yourself and others. Be happy for the time you had together, regardless of whether there is a future with him or not. Oh and if he is talking to you that way, he is wrong so don't make it right by responding.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 October 2016):
 Why on EARTH do you want to be with Fred?
He treats you like a dirty handkerchief. When he has a cold (wants you around) he can talk to you, but the moment he has other things and priorities you are just tossed in the hamper and then on TOP of that... HE EXPECTS you to just sit on your hands and WAIT for him to do the laundry (talk to you again) or pick you out of the hamper...
Are you serious, girl?
You are supposed to put YOUR life on hold while he decides what's up with HIS life? Since when is YOUR life less important?
BLOCK him and move on.
YOU did nothing wrong, he is being an arse and YOU for whatever silly reason think that it MUST be massive love from his end because he called you names and were jealous.
You are too young to waste your time on a loser like that.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (19 October 2016):
 Sorry love but this Fred is a bloody weirdo. How on earth he feels justified for such a rant is beyond comprehension. Sounds like an I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either kind of scenario. You don't owe him ANYTHING but to give him the cold shoulder in return and be done with him. Please don't succumb to thinking that you have done anything wrong, you haven't with the exception of not doing as he asked and leave him alone.
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A
female
reader, Seaneelily +, writes (19 October 2016):
Seaneelily is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI ended up seeing Fred I meant.
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