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*1muds11

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I have a crush on my boss - How do I get over it, and fast?

Q.   Hi there - thank you for reading... So I am a Personal Assistant (Secretary in some countries) and I have a really good working relationship with my boss. My issue is that I have started dreaming about him and have started to develop a bit of...

A.   6 April 2019: The key to getting over a crush that you know won't work is finding a new crush. Meet lots of people by going out, or involving other people in your life, and find a crush who actually makes sense. Even dreaming of a movie star is better. And m... (read in full...)

I kissed other men while we were broken up, now back together did I cheat on him?

Q.   My boyfriend and I had split up for week, his decision and I was gutted but said I would respect his decision. I went out with a friend for a night out and i kissed two men. I love my boyfriend and I was upset with it all. We have now got back tog...

A.   22 October 2018: Honestly, whenever I broke up with someone, if I wanted reports from friends, I got them within hours. Don't at all be shocked that you're back together, because you kissed other guys, and he learned about it, and was worried that you were moving ... (read in full...)

Can I just turn off some thoughts?

Q.   I have very strong romantic feelings for my cousin and I know its wrong even if she is my step cousin I know its wrong. The problem is I suspect she feels the same way. She plays with her hair when she speaks to me, tries to get closer to me whe...

A.   22 October 2018: Great answer by YoucannotbeSerious. My uncle's niece did this to me a lot when we were teens, because she knew I had a crush on her when we were kids. She was just trying out her sexuality, and I was the perfect target. Not that she didn't w... (read in full...)

My friends have slowly disappeared

Q.   I guess this would go under the category of friendships and mean girls? Idk but I need advice. I’ve found every so often a girlfriend (whom I actually really cared for and enjoyed) would slowly disappear. I never saw it coming either. Mostly t...

A.   9 May 2018: I love social media, but everyone I've met on there, who I haven't met in person, I consider an acquaintance. Some have become friends after meeting up, but even that can take awhile. Strong friendship, like all love is based on shared experien... (read in full...)

He blanked me for weeks then blows up because I was with some one else?

Q.   I was texting / meeting a guy (let's call him Fred, this isn't his name) and was seeing each other for about 9weeks.. Then for some reason he stopped talking to me. He said he had family issues and personal problems and can't give me what I want, he ...

A.   19 October 2016: I'm sorry to say, but this is how abuse starts. He's mentally abusing you to control you, and that could later on lead to physical abuse. Please don't accept this. If you don't want to listen to people on here, please please go and talk to a ... (read in full...)

The girl I'm seeing has a girlfriend?

Q.   Okay where do I begin... I recently met this girl about 1 month ago she is very kind, beautiful and has feelings for me, she says she eventually wants to be more than friends and that she likes me. I looked her up on fb, being a former cop and ...

A.   19 October 2016: Make sure you get all the information. Check to make sure that she just didn't update her facebook page, or one of her friends doesn't like you. Straight up, without a big confrontation, just ask her. You'll know if she's trying to give excuses.... (read in full...)

Should I follow my therapists advice?

Q.   Most recently I had dated a man for 8 months; we were introduced by friends and hit it off right away. He asked me to be exclusive right away which my therapist back then said it was weird since he didn't know anyone thing about me or had never be...

A.   19 October 2016: I'm sorry your in this predicament. I hope you can find some solace that will help you build better relationships. But, I have to admit, I do find your therapists ways rather strange. A mass majority of people I know, starting dating ... (read in full...)

My Gf is not talking. Should I consider the relationship is over??? Or could I revive our relationship?

Q.   I want to keep the relationship but she won't reply to texts or take my calls. literally begged to her to talk, but she didn't respond. should I call this an end to this relationship? it's two days since we last talked. we recently fought ...

A.   19 October 2016: Interesting situation. Sorry you feel bad about it. OK, if I read this clearly, you were in an LDR with her while she was still married. No probs. No judgements here. But that might be why she cut you off. It would make sense that she needs a... (read in full...)

He's disinterested. Finding it hard to give up on my boyfriend and move on. What should I do ?

Q.   i dont know if i am in a relationship or what? Have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since March 2012 till now. Everything was well and nice suddenly he changed...he no longer calls,the comunication is down..down...its just bo...

A.   19 October 2016: Sorry to hear that. It's never easy when it goes like this. I think the best thing to do for both of you, and your own psychological well being, is to cut him off fully. I'd cut off his telephone number and social media, and everything that rem... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cant make up his mind!

Q.   Me and my ex broke up about 5 months ago. A month after we broke up he went out with one of our mutual friends and of course that bothered me but I just kept telling myself if they are happy then I'm happy. A month into that relationship they broke ...

A.   13 October 2016: It sounds to me like he's a little bit of an emotional player. He has multiple possibilities of women at the same time to which one his best for his needs at the time. Some young men feel it's nice to have the attention of multiple girls, as it ... (read in full...)

Depression, drinking and having to go on holiday abroad

Q.   I live with my parents, and i'm currently on medication for depression. when my parents have had holidays, ive been able to look after myself and have behaved. I'm seeing a pyschlogist at the moment who is helping me through my troubles. I asked he...

A.   13 October 2016: My suggestion is to not drink alcohol on this trip. It will be interesting to see many new things, you probably won't need it. It will also take care of this worry. Also, some people do not do well with alcohol. If you are worried about it, it m... (read in full...)

Why get married? How do I tell my family that they're waiting for something that will not happen?

Q.   Why is getting married so important!! I'm 25 I have been with my partner 10 years my relationship is fantastic I trust him we get on like best mates there's no drama it is as close to perfect as I could have ever imagined! We own a home 50/50 not...

A.   12 October 2016: All I can say is that of the 4 sets of friends who were in a long lasting relationship and never got married, not one of them is separated. With many married friends, the average is not so great. As far as telling your family, a nice full formal l... (read in full...)

How do I know if she wants me to touch her?

Q.   while i was sitting on her bed. I could feel her breast on my leg while she laying down, she didn't even move. She is like 36a for her breast size. Next she putted her breast on my shoulder, when she hugged me from behind. I must admit it felt ...

A.   12 October 2016: From what you are telling us, undoubtedly she's trying to give you signals that she wants you to get a little more forward in your relationship. My rule of thumb when doing something new is do it very slowly, make sure she fully wants to do it, a... (read in full...)

My strict Chinese parents don't know about my boyfriend and it's difficult to keep hiding from them

Q.   Hi everyone, a little about me before i write about my issue. I'm 3 months away from turning 18, I have a boyfriend which have to be kept secret. (I know what you're thinking, im a liar and yes i admit I am but heres why) So my boyfriend and I ...

A.   12 October 2016: Living in Chinese and Taiwanese cultures for many years, I can understand your story. Almost every girlfriend I went out with had to lie and sneak around, just to go out with me. One of my exes, who was 27 at the time, (Yep!) would go home early, ... (read in full...)

What should I do next? Go back to the shop and hope to interest her again ?

Q.   So I met this girl who works in a cosmetic shop in my local town and after admiring her and getting served by her and making a bit of idle small talk about bath bombs I found my self going back in an hour later claiming I needed more bath bombs. Sh...

A.   10 October 2016: Most of my female friends almost never say yes to a guy the first time. They will be nice and encourage, but they want him to come back, to show they are not just out for a quick relationship. This might be what happened here. It also gives th... (read in full...)

Could he just be a player?

Q.   Dear Aunts, Ok long story short. A new guy not too long moved in the hood. He helps run a family business with his dad and bro. I am an active customer. So they are polite and never noticed me or give anything beyond the usual "Good morning/Go...

A.   10 October 2016: Hi. Ya, he's smitten. And it sounds really nice. He's just really really shy when he likes someone. The good news is, once you get together, usually these guys do not fool around at all, and are great to date. They are the opposite of players.... (read in full...)

I scared him off but I want him back...but how??

Q.   There was this guy. I knew him from high school and we were always friends with a very strong connection. He liked me but I always had a boyfriend and frankly I thought he was weird. We talked briefly in December and stopped because I was going ...

A.   3 October 2016: I think the answer is to give it time. Leave him a while and just send him something friendly without any pressure. If he's slow to respond, give it some more time without writing to him. He'll figure it out that you just want to be slow. Hope ... (read in full...)

I'm having a tough time with being single. How can I stop feeling so lonely?

Q.   I have written here before and I'm having a difficult time being alone- I have realized the pat friends and boyfriends I have had have all been toxic but have filed some void. Lately I have tried to keep busy and be alone but it's driving me nuts- I ...

A.   3 October 2016: I agree that going to clubs and dancing is one the worst places to find good guys who want to be with you, only for you. At the same time, I think you need to learn to be happy being by yourself and building self confidence, then you won't fi... (read in full...)

My ex broke up with me so why is she acting so weird about avoiding me?

Q.   My ex was picking fights so we broke up and it ended messy. I tried everything to keep it going. At the time I thought it was completely my fault and I was doing something wrong but looking back now I know it was both of us but largely because of ...

A.   3 October 2016: Ya, I agree with the other poster, she's trying to get into your head because she still loves the attention that you used to give her. She's acting weird because she knows you'll think about her. When you see her, don't do anything and don't re... (read in full...)

Please help me draft a post to my sister for her birthday

Q.   Hey everyone!! I'm not good with writing or words but I want to write a message to my sister on her birthday!So please help me I will just tell in brief what I want to write. My younger sister is my best friend I can't imagine my childhood withou...

A.   29 September 2016: What a nice thing to do and say. But I don't think you realize it, you've already written a beautiful card already. I think your second and third paragraphs are perfect for the card. Just change it to you, I, and we, and come up with a good s... (read in full...)

What do I wear to this event?

Q.   I am going to an opening of an art exhibition soon. I am not sure what to wear. I have a black dress, a grey dress, and a pink blouse that I could wear with black trousers. I also have a white bolero that I could wear with any of the outfits. Which ...

A.   26 September 2016: I would wear as dressed "up" as you feel comfortable with, as it's never wrong to look classy at these events. It's also a great place to meet well rounded people, so it's good to look "nice". But also wear what makes you feel comfortable. As to... (read in full...)

How do I ask her out? I think she's out of my league

Q.   Hi. Before I go on I thought a bit of info might be useful. I'm 16, and have never unlike everyone (it seems)been in a relationship. A months ago I met this girl. I never really noticed it until recently but I think there may be something between ...

A.   18 September 2016: When you're younger, you always think pretty girls are "out of your league". But the woman you describe has substance, and girls with substance think boys with substance are sexy. The key here is what you'll lose if you don't ask her out. Th... (read in full...)

She's no longer into sex. What to do?

Q.   The problem I have is. My wife is totally uninterested in sex and lovemaking, and has been for about 3 years now. Its to hot, its to cold, I have a headache?backache/earache whatever. We have discussed it and she assures me that it is not me. I h...

A.   18 September 2016: I love the fact that you've tried, and that you're not blaming put trying to stay positive. That's a great sign. What's happened to you happens many times to people who are over 65, and they have to make life choices. You haven't mentione... (read in full...)

Meeting with the only guy in my life I never got bored of

Q.   Hello agony aunts! I am 27 living in Europe. I'm asking for advice with regard to my longest crush ever. When I was 20 years old, I went into yahoo chatrooms and met D. We started chatting and just LOVED talking to him. Initially he hadnt taken m...

A.   18 September 2016: Hi. Love your story and I know two people who got married off of Yahoo the same way, so it's seems to be a new way of meeting. If you really like him, you should take a chance. You never know where it may lead. But I do agree to build the ... (read in full...)

Could he just be a player?

Q.   Dear Aunts, Ok long story short. A new guy not too long moved in the hood. He helps run a family business with his dad and bro. I am an active customer. So they are polite and never noticed me or give anything beyond the usual "Good morning/Go...

A.   9 September 2016: When I'm working, I almost never notice my customers. Even if I think someone is very attractive, it just gets logged in my brain and I go on with my work. If my Dad was there, it would many times more so. It could be that finally he saw you outs... (read in full...)

Is it possible that my therapist may like me a bit too much?

Q.   I haven't had a session with my therapist for a while. I met him again recently and he was acting differently to me (I've known him for a while). His eye contact felt like he was staring at me and he was constantly smiling at me. We also joked ...

A.   9 September 2016: I agree with many of the other posters in the room. It could easily be that now he feels you've become a young adult, and you've made progress, that he's just treating you like one, just trying to relate. His actions may be just a way get you more ... (read in full...)

Does this older man like me back?

Q.   I can't work out if this man likes me or is just being friendly. I met this man as a client as I used his home improvement company to do up my house. He is always very flirty and friendly. Lately I have seen him pop up everywhere and I mean ...

A.   10 June 2016: I think that most older men don't like to make the first move on younger women, because they think it might be rude. Especially when you have a kid. My friend's wife had to say "You know, I wouldn't be offended if you asked me out for coffee ... (read in full...)

Has anyone been in a lasting relationship where there was an age difference?

Q.   When I was 28 I was in a 4.5 year relationship with a younger girl, she was only 18 when we started dating. We had a son together and when our son was 18 months old she said she made a mistake settling down with me and wanted to experience her yout...

A.   10 June 2016: My thoughts are that a woman at 18 is completely different than when she's in her mid to late 20's. At 18, most of my female friends really did "just want to have fun". But of course things change, and most women I have known, do mature well after ... (read in full...)

Should I text him good luck for his interview? Is no contact during a vacation normal?

Q.   I posted earlier and now wanted to ask a more general question. I've been seeing someone for two months (not exclusive yet). So far he's initiated good morning text every day and sometimes other messages throughout the day. Right now he's on...

A.   5 June 2016: I think sending him a quick little text saying "Hey, I just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow. No biggie, just wanted to send this", or something like that in your own words. I think leave him alone after that, and wait till he gets home. It m... (read in full...)

I am a beauty pagent winner who suffers body image issues.

Q.   Hi. I have been struggling with body image issues and it's ruining my dating life as well. I have this friend/crush with whom I fooled around a couple of times. We'll be meeting up again but I'm very self conscious about my body and scared he might...

A.   6 January 2016: I have a friend who also did well in beauty pageants and she had the same problem. Because looks were important to her competition, any little thing made her sad. The key is to do things to better yourself, make yourself confident, that ... (read in full...)

I know I should forget him but we are in te same friendship groups.

Q.   things have been a rollercoaster between my ex and I. We've been messaging flirty for a week then an argument for a week then the cycle repeats itself. I find myself to be caring more than he does. We then decided to stop flirting and be friends, ...

A.   6 January 2016: You simply need to get away from him for a while. When you break-up it's important to actually break up and give each other some space so you can both heal. Stay away from him as much as you can for a few weeks and it will get better. Don't see ... (read in full...)

Have I blew it?

Q.   Hi ok i need some advice on this i was flirting with a guy for a few weeks and he was doing the same, i always noticed him check me out, stare at me and i started crushing back, but i seen him with another girl and she had a wedding band on. So i ...

A.   21 June 2014: You are actually very lucky as you've actually done something that may actually really attract him. He's only not looking at you because you've stopped flirting with him. When a girl stops flirting with you, but then turns back on, that can be ... (read in full...)

Should I just forget the past and be with him?

Q.   p /> My story's long, hope you will read itto the end. I came from Eastern Europe to US 12 years ago with 2 small children ages 7 and 4, after winning a green card. Upon arrival I was greeted by organization that helps new immigrants to adju...

A.   19 November 2013: Wow. What an amazing life you've had. And a truly incredible story. If it ever works out, it sounds like it could be a movie. Like yourself, my parents were both refugees from Eastern Europe with no money coming to North America, so I ca... (read in full...)

It's not what she lied about, it's that she lied

Q.   ok, i've been getting a lot of good responses lately, so hopefully we can keep em going! ok, so my current problem is that my girlfriend, who we just started going out. one of the first things i asl her, is if she smokes, she told me no. now i do...

A.   15 November 2013: I remember going out with a great girl who lied about her age. I mean really lied, about 5 years..... she was 26 and told me she was 21. I was 22 at the time. When she told me, she said "If you want to break up with me now I understand. But I ... (read in full...)

Does he like me? Very close contact left me shaken

Q.   There's this guy that I really like in my music class. He's really shy and he's never had a girlfriend but he is possibly the nicest person I have ever met. I asked him once if he wanted to go out somewhere a few months ago and he politely said that ...

A.   15 November 2013: If he takes you into a room to be together with you, with lots of touching he might have "noticed" you now. It happens a lot to boys and it's very normal. The fact that you left quickly actually, without you meaningly doing it, actually really ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is still contacting her ex! It really hurts me!

Q.   Dear agony aunts, Once again I need your advice. We've been in a relationship for 3 years, and as of July 2013, we live together. When we started dating, my girlfriend told me that her ex was calling her stuff and making threats. I took no part i...

A.   15 November 2013: Oh, boy. How many of these things I've seen go on and on and never work out for the person in your position. I wish I had better news for you, I really do. I used to live in Russia and one thing I saw was that many women have overly strong ... (read in full...)

Does reading books improve personality and boost confidence? Which books should I read?

Q.   hey i am 17 and i am from india and i am a college student well i told you all previously that i am shy and feel nervous to talk to girls and i don't have confidence . So basically my brother is opposite of me he is smart he has confidence and girls ...

A.   13 November 2013: I agree that books can help. "The game" is an interesting one. But when my brother, who always got women easily, gave his secret pile of Humphrey Bogart movies, then things really got going. Humphrey was short and ugly yet got all the girls. ... (read in full...)

Does it sound like we are just friends or could he like me as more than a friend?

Q.   I'm really attracted to a man at work. He seems to like my company. He asks me things about myself, he bought me coffee once, he sits near me in the staff room and the other week, he asked where I was when I wasn't in. He is a nice man and a ...

A.   11 November 2013: Thanks for the reply. It's nice to hear I could help you out. Hope everything works out. Love to hear what happens. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Is he playing games or does he fancy me? Why did he delete my phone number? Yet still flirts with me?

Q.   Very brief- The guy is mid 40s. We work together and used to get on really really well, flirting, he use to be my bodyguard, defensive protective and at times jealous. We had a big argument, i told him i didn't fancy him (rumours were going arou...

A.   11 November 2013: I believe he deleted your number and is not making a move because likes you, but you shut him down. Especially with everything you describe. Also, when there's such an age gap, you have to let him know that you like him. An older guy will usu... (read in full...)

Does it sound like we are just friends or could he like me as more than a friend?

Q.   I'm really attracted to a man at work. He seems to like my company. He asks me things about myself, he bought me coffee once, he sits near me in the staff room and the other week, he asked where I was when I wasn't in. He is a nice man and a ...

A.   9 November 2013: This is a tough question. He might just be very very shy. That's what it sounds like. Or he might be the kind of guy that wants to be a friend first before he asks a girl out. But I think the key is that you're younger than him. Is he much... (read in full...)

Is he playing games or does he fancy me? Why did he delete my phone number? Yet still flirts with me?

Q.   Very brief- The guy is mid 40s. We work together and used to get on really really well, flirting, he use to be my bodyguard, defensive protective and at times jealous. We had a big argument, i told him i didn't fancy him (rumours were going arou...

A.   9 November 2013: Wow. I have to admit this story is confusing. What does this line mean: "he went to managers about me and lied whilst would not let me go in terms of stop working with him." Does that mean you got reprimanded but still have to work with each ... (read in full...)

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