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Do many females masturbate ? I feel ashamed when I do so.

Tagged as: Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 May 2017) 18 Answers - (Newest, 20 May 2017)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Do lots of girls/ladies masterbate? I get so paranoid that I'm abnormal for doing it because my friends never talk about it and sometimes someone will make a comment that it's more of a boy thing and I'll feel ashamed.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2017):

Yes people masterbate and it's normal there is nothing wrong with it

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (18 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntyip everyone does, it just seems guys are more vocal about it than girls. Girls tend to be more ashamed, the older you get the more you will find you can chat about it and have a laugh with friends.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (18 May 2017):

So_Very_Confused agony auntof course we do.... and as we get older we talk about it more too.

and yay for hand held shower massagers!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2017):

I'm one of the most shy women ever but I love doing it!

It's my guilty little pleasure. I have a partner but I still like to do it myself too.

Because , why not!

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 May 2017):

olderthandirt agony auntBoth genders "pleasure themselves" it's totally normal

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2017):

chigirls comment lol!

and certainly true for me anyway.

Also I have only ever had 1 orgasm through sex with a partner in my life. I have multiple orgasms anytime doing it myself.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (18 May 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt Of course lots of women masturbate . It's another gender , not another species. The sexual urges, wants and needs are the same.

What might be different, slightly a bit more of a " boy thing " is maybe frequency. Stats say that 88% percent of men masturbate regularly , from at least once a week to several times a day- against only 68 % of women.

That does not mean that 32% of women ( and 12 % of men ) NEVER touch themselves. They do it anyway , just a bit less often.

Or, it could also mean that more women than men are, just like you, embarassed to admit they pleasure themselves- so they LIE in the questionaires :)

I think that if we should calculate how many people masturbate, at least occasionally, at least once in a long while... the percentage would be very, very close to 100%

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (18 May 2017):

Myau agony auntI feel I need to dispell a myth here.

I am not ashamed of masturbating. Ever. Its no big deal and I have no idea why women are so hung up on it.

I do not talk about it though and have never spoken to friends about it.

Why would I? Its no big deal and none of their business and I would find them weird if they spoke about it.

In your case. Hey. Its gonna hurt you once a month anyway, you might as well enjoy it the other 3 weeks.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntGood grief, YES!

It's satisfaction guaranteed! Why feel ashamed? Because it's very primal? Or because "good girls" don't touch themselves?

The BEST way to know what REALLY ticks your boxes sexually is to know your body - intimately. That means touching yourself.

Many women (probably those who have fewer hang-ups about it) can get themselves off in less than a minute if they are in the "right frame" of mind. Even a guy who is a good lover will take a BIT longer to do the same. You will know how hard, fast, slow, clockwise, counter clockwise - whatever it takes.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States + , writes (17 May 2017):

Everyone masturbates. Enjoy yourself! Believe me, your friends are doing it just as much as you are. Heck maybe more!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (17 May 2017):

chigirl agony aunt*massage shower heads

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (17 May 2017):

chigirl agony auntWe do. How else would we reach orgasm, and who do you think buys all the message shower heads and vibrators?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (17 May 2017):

The only difference between males and females masturbating is that males tend not to have the same hang-ups about it as females. They will often freely admit to doing it, and even discuss it with their friends. Women, on the other hand, feel they have to keep it as a guilty secret. I suspect this dates back to the days when "nice girls" didn't enjoy sex.

You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. You are harming nobody and just giving yourself pleasure. Enjoy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2017):

Yes. I think almost everyone does including women. I do.

The Kinsey report published in 1953 reported all about Female sexuality, and has info about the prevalence of womens' masturbation habits, if you want to look into that scientifically. I am sure lots more research has come out on it since then too, but that report is the most well known I think.

Nothing for you to be ashamed of at all.

R

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (17 May 2017):

N91 agony auntWhy just because you're a girl should this be something you shouldn't do?

Of course it's completely normal to sexually relieve yourself if you need it and don't let anybody tell you otherwise or make you feel bad for doing it. It's natural.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2017):

It's said that 95% of the population (men and women) masturbate. And that the other 5% lie :-)

It's fun, it's free, it's a release, a good way to get to sleep, it hurts NO-ONE. It educates you about your body so that when you are having sex with someone else, you know what works for you. It's the only thing I can think of that has all positives and no negatives, so why the shame?

I know we are sometimes brought up to believe that it's a shameful act, but I bet you your bottom dollar, EVERYBODY MASTURBATES.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2017):

Most of the woman I know masterbate it's nothing to be ashamed of... just enjoy yourself it's all good fun ...

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (17 May 2017):

YouWish agony auntTrust me, more of them do it than they let on.

I am a very proud "lover" of myself! Not only is it nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of, but it's got amazing benefits for health, well-being, and a romantic life.

Women who know their own bodies and know how to bring themselves to orgasm are far more able to guide a partner to the erogenous zones on their bodies. If you know what works for you, showing your partner what you love, and being comfortable enough to experience with them puts you FAR ahead of the game.

Not to mention, you'll never have to worry about whether or not you've had an orgasm in the first place. Many women ask that question on here, more than you think. Many MORE women are puzzled as to why they don't have an orgasm during sexual intercourse. Only 28% of women can experience that through intercourse alone. Clitoral stimulation is an essential key, and how would you know where that was, had you not had ample "research", so to speak??

NEVER EVER EVER feel ashamed. Don't let parents, friends, guys, or even your own doubts make you feel that way. Not that I'm saying that you have to march up and down NYC screaming "HEY!!!! I'M A MASTURBATOR AND I'M DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!!", but the smile on your face as you go about your day feeling sexually released is well worth it!

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