A
female
age
41-50,
*ottacheater
writes:I've been with this guy 4 years and have had a child together, who's almost 3. At first he always accused me of cheating then it went away for years. Last Saturday I went to work at a fundraiser for my daughter's school to build a new playground with the profits. Since this Saturday he says I am different and I must be cheating. I have a 6 and 4 year old who would tell him if they saw me with someone else. I never go anywhere and I never leave my kids. So when do I cheat? I don't.Are these accusations ever going to end? What should I do? At the end of my rope with this teenager game. He is pushing me further away and making it impossible to love him. If not for this I would give my whole heart but I am scared to with this going on. Please help me. My kids don't deserve the fighting - especially when I haven't even looked at another man!!
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female
reader, nottacheater +, writes (20 April 2012):
nottacheater is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. Wonderful advise from all of you.
A
female
reader, jr23 +, writes (20 April 2012):
 If someone is constantly accusing you of cheating when you've given them no reason to think that, it usually means that he/she is the one cheating. They know what they do behind your back, so they automatically assume you would do the same. Another possibility is he was cheated on in the past, so he has trust issues.
I like the suggestion of using sarcasm by JustHelpinAgain. Once he sees he can no longer get a rise out of you because you'll just turn it into a joke, maybe he'll stop.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (19 April 2012):
I think the worse thing you can do is take anything he says seriously. He is playing wierd mind games with you amd the best thing is to brush his dumb comments aside with a joke like "yes I managed to f**k five guys next to the tombola".
Maybe this is more to do with some stress in your relationship? Men that don't get enough attention can be more childish than the real children. .... Don't fight - talk, and make love, I am sure it will be ok.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 April 2012):
 Well, the "you are cheating" is a typical cheater offensive it cover up their own infidelities. But it can also just be that he is extremely insecure.
He doesn't trust you. Or he would accuse you.
He will NOT stop accusing you. You could live in the closet and never come out and he would still accuse you.
I think you need to have a chat about trust with him.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 This man doesnt trust you so you will never be happy in this situation.
He has a low self esteem and issues on trusting you.
Try speaking to him and tell him how much his actions are hurting you.
If he truly loves you he will listen and respond kindly without hurting you.
If he continues with his rant, i can only say your both incompatible and its time to get out before it gets worse and worse.
Goodluck!
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