A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in my late-twenties and have always been considered unattractive... "cute" is the very best I can get. I never get hit on, or flirted with, and guys I date tell me they liked me DESPITE my looks, that my personality makes up for the fact that I'm not as hot as my or his friends. I've always really struggled with my looks in regards to relationships. I know that physical attraction is one of the best things that guys look for in a partner... yeah, personality is nice, but it only goes so far. What seems to happen, over and over, is that guys deal with my bad looks cause of my nice personality, but then dump me or cheat on me whenever they find a girl who has both looks AND personality they like. OR, they only date me because they themselves are desperate... I seem to always get the guy who has been friend-zoned by everyone else, and he's still desperately in love with his best female friend but has "settled" for me. In the past few months, whenever I am out in the world, or reading relationship articles, I feel consumed with jealousy and anger of attractive women. I know they might have problems as well, but at least they're beautiful, at least men want them. I also end up hating men too... I automatically reject a guy on a dating site I've been matched up with if he's attractive, cause I figure why waste my time, and I ultimately reject the average/ugly guys as well, because they're only interested in me because they can't get the hot girls.Today at lunch, the group I sit with was commenting on some of the new hires, and how attractive they are, and which single guys in our department they should match the new hires up with... And I just sat there quietly, because I've been at the company nearly a year, and no one has ever tried to set me up or had guys comment on me. A lot of times, it feels like I'm invisible as a woman. People tell me this is a very negative attitude to have but I don't know how to get over it. How do you deal in a world full of attractive people when you're not? In the case of unattractive girls, should we just accept the fact that we'll either be alone or that girl a guy "settled" for, until he dumps you and moves on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): I know how that feels. Seeing attractive women makes me feel bad too, so I've come up with a way to prevent it. This might sound silly, but what I do, is simply avert my eyes, just don't look at her (I mean in the streets). What you don't see can't make you feel bad. But, you should know that looks don't really matter. I have seen so many people with all kinds of facial deformities, who have a partner. Just today I saw a woman with a dark purple birth mark covering more than a half of her face (imagine that!) and she was wearing a wedding ring! It is really bizarre how the society is obsessed with good looks, when absolutely everybody, no matter how unattractive, can find somebody. If looks mattered, only attractive people would be dating and getting married, and that is not the case, is it?
A
female
reader, LovelyLemon +, writes (20 April 2012):
 I felt that way for a long time, and sometimes it's very difficult to dig out of. My problem has always been my weight. I've never been a naturally thin woman, not what media tells us is beautiful. I have stretchmarks almost everywhere, and I have been passed over time and time again because of this. It is painful and lonely to feel your heart sink when a guy rejects you because of something you cannot help. I have also been cheated on, which makes you really just feel like dirt.It's easy to lose faith in men. A lot of them are shallow and judgmental, looking only for this almost unattainable thing that they for some reason feel entitled to. I only started to feel different when I started dating the guy I'm with now, who happens to now be my fiance. He loves all of the things about me that I hate. He embraces the whole me, not picking small features that are nice to focus on.Basically, you're hurting and losing self confidence because society has made men believe that they should objectify and judge women like pieces of meat at the super-market. This is not right, but it's how life is. One day you WILL find someone that loves you for the beautiful person you are. You may not fit the cookie-cutter image of what the media says women should be, but you are still a beautiful, worthwhile person. It may take awhile for you to realize that, but it will happen.Much love and Best wishes
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 The whole issue rests on this, its the way your percieving the world.
Your perceiving and thinking other females are better looking than you, and comparing yourself.
Other Men can feel your energy. They feel your low self esteem so they are attracted to those other women.
You are not believing or comfortable in your own self and they are attracted to those women who do.
Looks are not what makes a person, its the persona , looks fade , a good heart does not.
Dont be disapointed and disheartened, you havent met the right guy yet because if you did they dont compare you to other women!
You have to build up your self esteem there are many ways to do this, and recognise you are beautiful as you are.
This is a short summary that may help you
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/build-up-self-confidence-in-6-simple-steps-461106.html
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