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... Send *our big sis a private message | | | *our big sis's profile: I have always been drawn to help others out whether it's emotionally, physically, and financially. I had a great role model- my mother. She was dedicated to helping women and children suffering from domestic abuse and I can't remember how many people my mom helped- there were so many, but I do remember the faces of relief when help was offered. We had one vacant room in our house and it was always occupied by a family in need. And sometimes we'd have the living room as a camp refuge. Seeing what an impact one person can do by helping another in need is my drive.
I am the oldest of 5 children. My parents divorced when I was 6 years old and we lived with my mother growing up. I helped my mother raise my younger siblings and have experienced about every question, problem, disagreement four young people could muster up. And of course, my own life trials. I guess you could say that's where I get my need to help someone in need. I'm a wife and mother of two residing in Dallas, Texas. |
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Recently, he asked if we could have an open relationship and if he could sleep with our new flatmate...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months next week and living together for 8 months. Over the last few weeks he has been hot and cold and recently asked if he could sleep with our new flatmate or have an open relationship. I was hurt as ...
A. 10 June 2005: If you don't want to have an open relationship, then don't. You have a say also! Tell him how this request makes you feel. If he can't understand your point of view, I'm sorry, you may have to consider leaving him. Cause if you stay and you ... (read in full...)
He lives 6 hours away and I don't know if it's worth trying to have a relationship with him...
Q. I met this guy on the internet about 3 weeks ago. aAter about 2 and a half weeks I went to the town he lived in and we set up a time to meet. After we met it seemed like I liked him and he liked me. But when I got home he said "are you going to get ...
A. 10 June 2005: No, it's not worth it. He's basically telling you that unless you're moving to his town, he's not considering you. He doesn't believe in long distance relationships. Better to let this guy go, he's showing his true colors and honey, they are not ... (read in full...)
I know in my heart that my ex-husband still wants us to be together, but he's too scared to suggest a reconciliation!
Q. This is very complicated. My ex husband and I had a child before we were married. He bailed after he found out I was pregnant. We reconciled when our son was 8 mos. old. Married for 3 years. Been divorced for 3 years. We broke up mainly b...
A. 10 June 2005: Trust and communication are the basic building blocks of a relationship. If you don't have the base, how can you lead a successful relationship? I think you should listen to your family and friends. After all, they know you and they care for you. ... (read in full...)
My fiancee isn't a virgin and I am. I don't want it to be a disappointment for her...
Q. I have a slight kinda issue. I am a virgin and will be getting married and losing my virginity to a girl who's not a virgin. I feel like it'll be awkward for me a lot more than for her. She hasn't had sex in years now, but I still feel I'll be ...
A. 10 June 2005: Are you kidding? Most women love men who don't have experience! That means we get to mold you into a hot loving machine especially programmed to our sexual preferences. You will be taught how to make perfect love to your wife by your wife. Do ... (read in full...)
It seems like I'm shouldering all the responsibility for both my husband and me...
Q. I am a retired school teacher, Income around $40k. My husband has not worked in over two years. He looks for jobs that are most times out of reach. I bought a new house in Feb and he refuses to leave. I pay all of the bills and buy most of the ...
A. 10 June 2005: A man who has a wife who says she wants to throw out her husband, but doesn't do it. Speak to your husband. Communicate how you are feeling. How else is he going to know how you feel about his jobless butt? Do what you have to today. Tomorrow ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want a relationship, but there are lots of other things that she wants!
Q. dear sir/madam How can I help my best friend who loves a girl deeply, but this girl does not want a relationship, but wants my best friend to pay her college fees and apartment for her, as well? And he agrees to help, but she doesnt want him to l...
A. 10 June 2005: What?! I wished you used nicknames because I am totally confused about your question.... (read in full...)
I haven't treated my girlfriend as well as I should, now I want to make things better. What can I do?
Q. My g/f decicided she wanted to take a break from our relationship because she felt that I didn't give her the attention she deserved. In the past I have been really hurt after 'putting myself out there' and I guess subconciously I didn't give mys...
A. 10 June 2005: If you feel you cannot love or be affectionate in a relationship, then why did you get into one and lead this girl on? Love is a giant leap of faith, you know that. This girl loves you she has proven it by asking for your sweet attention. She ... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of everyone, because I'm so afraid of getting hurt!
Q. I am so messed up in the head. I just don't know the difference between what's right and wrong or what's the truth or a lie. I don't even know if I can trust my good mates. I am always so suspicious around everyone. I just can't help it cause I am ...
A. 10 June 2005: Please see a therapy specialist. They can help you get to the root of the problem and help you deal. Take care... (read in full...)
Why does he say he "doesn't deserve" me? Is he going to drop me?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for about 4 years now and I know that I love him, as more than a friend. Recently we have crossed the line and have slept together twice. He says that he doesn't deserve me, but I think he is trying to blow me off. ...
A. 10 June 2005: He just wants to have sex with you and that's it. No emotions, no attachments, no relationship mumbo jumbo from his point of view. Better let this one go. Before you get to caught up.... (read in full...)
My fiance cheated with a stripper and blamed me. Now he wants to try again. Should we?
Q. I am due to get married in August this year to my fiance/boyfriend of almost 8 years. Yet 7 weeks ago he was unfaithful with a stripper and was undecisive as to whether he wanted her or me. The reason for his straying (according to him) is that i ...
A. 9 June 2005: Nope, he's not worth it. At the time you needed him most, he ran out on you and cheated with a nasty dirty stripper. He should have empathsized with you. Instead, all he could think of was himself during this time of your great loss. I'm sorry ... (read in full...)
I'd like his friends to be my friends, too, but will that look odd?
Q. I want to be friends with my boyfriend's friends but I don't want to make it seem like I'm flirting with them. Everytime we're in a group, I go silent because I don't really know any of his friends. I'd like to get to know them but I only com...
A. 9 June 2005: Give it time. You don't become somebody's good friend overnight. Relax, it will happen. They've already accepted you. That's good enough for right now. Just give them time. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never wants to be with anyone else, but can I be happy if I've never even kissed another guy?
Q. We have been together for two and a half years. He is my first boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend. We go to different colleges two and a half hours away and it has been very hard lately. We have no other experience in dating, other than our own ...
A. 9 June 2005: I think you're like alot of guys out there who want their cake and eat it too. If you want to date other guys, break it off with your boyfriend first. It's not fair to him that you do not feel the same as he does. How can you marry this guy down ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of dating my brother's friend, but I'm afraid it might be a disaster.
Q. I'm 17 and I like one of my brother's close friends who is 20. I found out the other day that he liked me as well, and wanted to date me. When I talked to him 2 days ago through messenger, I stalled and kept him from really 'asking me out' by ...
A. 9 June 2005: You are so smart! You already see his fault of his big ego. You are right, don't pursue him. It could be that he wants to get with you to feed that big ego of his. Also, imagine the odd spot you'd be putting your brother in. He does not want ... (read in full...)
I keep snapping at my boyfriend for stupid reasons...
Q. I have just gotten out of high school and now I am feeling left behind and depressed. My boyfriend is a sophomore and ever since November I have been getting mad at him for stupid reasons. Now, it happens every time I am with him. I wish I knew how...
A. 9 June 2005: Maybe you are snappy because you have experienced a huge milestone in your life, you finished high school. And you are subconciously angry at your boyfriend because he's still in high school with all those girls who are his own age. You are ... (read in full...)
I can deal with the break-up, but I have to see her at college for the next 2 years!
Q. I split up with my girlfriend two months ago, it hit me really hard. As a result of what happened I'm now taking anti-depressents and am seeing a counsellor. Although my counsellor has certainly helped me I just can't get my ex out of my head. I was ...
A. 9 June 2005: Concentrate on the bad things she did to you. Think about the logical decision you made by leaving her. Tell yourself every day, you did the right thing. When you see her talking to other guys, tell yourself, there goes the next victim... Time... (read in full...)
How do I stop acting like a crazy kid and doing stupid things?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 7 months and I care a lot about this girl. She does a lot for me but I keep acting like a stupid crazy child. She has given me a number of chances to change and act like an adult. I want to save this relationship as ...
A. 9 June 2005: If you love her, you will stop yourself. Don't wait until after she has left you to change. Because then, she will not care. The heart is ticking, baby...... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be "best friends" after a breakup? How?
Q. My girlfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me and she still wants to keep me as her best friend. She is dating someone else and I still love her. What should I do?...
A. 9 June 2005: Yes, you can still be best friends. But you have to give yourself some space away from her to get over her. If she's your friend like she says she is, she will understand. Time heals a broken heart.... (read in full...)
I feel like the teller at the bank was coming on to me. Did I imagine it?
Q. I go to a bank every two weeks to cash my check. There is a teller that works there different times. I have been to her window but this third time was different. I was standing in line getting ready to go toward her window when I noticed that she ...
A. 9 June 2005: Pushing a bang back into her hair is not sexual. I think you are reading all the wrong signals. But if you absolutely want to know, the next time you cash your check, ask her for a date. The worst she can do is say no. And since you're not a ... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't compete with the sexual endurance of my guy's ex-partners!
Q. I love sex with my man but I feel threatened because him and his exes could go on for hours but after an hour I'm exhausted. what can I do or how can I go for longer?... ...
A. 9 June 2005: Maybe your guy has been programmed by his exes to last hours and hours. Most women would love his endurance. And most men would've only given you an hour or less. Maybe your guy is afraid he's not pleasing you unless he goes for a long time. ... (read in full...)
Our last argument finally broke us up & she says it's too late to have another go...
Q. My girlfriend and I used to argue a lot but we decided we were gonna work on it and we did. It went perfectly well till last Friday. We started to argue again about petty stuff. We sensed the bad ol times were reoccuring so she asked me to evaluate ...
A. 9 June 2005: You are both doing the wrong thing. You are both acting with pride in your hearts. Neither one of you will bite the bullet and take one for the sake of the relationship. Why don't you just open your heart and listen to what she's saying? She ... (read in full...)
Is it just me, or is he out of line checking out other girls?
Q. I just have something bothering me, and I'm not sure if I am over-reacting or not. I always catch my fiance checking out other girls. Is this something I need to just accept or should I be upset about it. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if I was ...
A. 9 June 2005: That's part of your problem, friend...you are not over reacting enough. His behavior is total disrespect to your relationship. It shows that he feels you will not control him or his appetite for other women. Put him in check or he will checkmate ... (read in full...)
She offered me a threesome, but I'd rather sleep with her one-on-one...
Q. Hi, I'm in a bit of an awkward situation. I'm a male guy who has a female friend who is going out with my mate, however tonight I was talking to her online and she asked me to have a threesome with her (she is bisexual) so I said to her I prefer ...
A. 9 June 2005: You are right for feeling guilty. You are about to betray a friend for one night of meaningless sex. What if you met a girl who you really wanted to take out and you found out that your friend already slept with her? Yeah, it doesn't sound that ... (read in full...)
My job was so exhausting that I pushed my g/f away. Now I just want her back!
Q. I started going out with a girl from uni in 2004, everything was great, we were the best of friends, we went out and spent time with each other and just things a normal couple would do. Then one day, while I was at uni, I received a call from an o...
A. 9 June 2005: I understand your hard work and going to school and all. But how many other people do the exact same thing in this world? I do not think you should bother this ex-girlfriend of yours. Why? Because when you find yourself in stressful situations ... (read in full...)
We live in different cities, we can't find time together... and I worry about our future!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. We met through work and have never lived together. I live in London and she lives in Birmingham. We are both very career orientated people, as an actor I need to be in London for my work and she ...
A. 9 June 2005: OK, Londoneer, here's what you do...stop stringing this poor girl along. She only has a limited amount of time to bear healthy children. You do not want any, so get out of her way. She stuck around long enough for you to change your feelings on ... (read in full...)
Caught him making out with my friend and ditched him, but now he wants another chance...
Q. I am 25 years old and I live in England had a wonderful relationship with a guy but I caught him making out with a friend of mine so I ditched him. He keeps saying he wants me back and I don't know what to do. Please help!!!...
A. 9 June 2005: You were right to ditch the guy. And I certainly hope you ditched that "friend" too. Ignore your ex's attempts to get you back. He did it once and he'll do it again. Imagine all the stuff he might have done when you weren't around! Do you ... (read in full...)
English girl plus French guy. Could it work out?
Q. Hi, My problem is that I really like a guy that I work with. He is nice and great looking, the problem is that I am English and he is French. My French is lousy, so could it ever work, and if so, how?...
A. 9 June 2005: The key to any successful relationship is communication. If you don't have it, how will you know what the other wants? I suggest staying friends and pursue someone with whom you can speak and understand. Your heart is getting ahead of your brain. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to prove to my parents that I'm ready to have a boyfriend?
Q. So I'm going to be 14 (going into high school) in a couple of days and I'm still not allowed to have a boyfriend. How do I convince my mom I'm ready to have one?...
A. 9 June 2005: You have to earn your parents' trust. They have to believe your word. If you have lied to your parents in the past and they know about it, you will have a tough time proving your trust. They want to trust you. Parents want to believe they have ... (read in full...)
I like my boyfriend's daughter... but worry about why I'm jealous of their relationship!
Q. I have been dating my b/f for about 3 years now. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who lives with us. I never thought I would be a stepmom, I hate it! Don't get me wrong, I love this girl so much. I'm 23, she is 8. We talk all the ...
A. 9 June 2005: Get used to it because their relationship will continue to grow as your step-daughter gets older. If you cannot overcome your childish jealousy, your boyfriend is better off without you. You entered this relationship knowing he has a 5 year old ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't understand what it's like to be a poor student and in debt!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have lived pretty seperate lifestyles before we met. I come from an extremely poor family and never have had money or really lots of things besides school and work since i had to help my mom pay the bills..ect... Anyway...
A. 9 June 2005: Take her to where you grew up if possible. Maybe if she gets a visual maybe she'll understand. Obviously she has never been around someone with your life experiences. Tell her it makes you feel 2 inches tall when she offers you advice. If she ... (read in full...)
We broke up, but we still act like a couple. Sometimes.
Q. My boyfriend and I recently broke up. During our relationship we experienced many problems such as jealousy, trust, and so on. We both realized that we loved each other but we needed time to grow and mature. The problem is that we still do the kinds ...
A. 9 June 2005: Sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He has you on "pause mode" so he can go out with other girls. You are the leftovers he can go back to and re-heat if there's nothing else in the kitchen. Get it? You can do so much better. ... (read in full...)
Suddenly, he tells me "we've gotten boring". Is it just because he's tired?
Q. I'm having problems with my boyfriend. He claims he doesn't want to hurt me but has openly said that we've gotten 'boring'. He says I don't talk enough but I try to. He just doesn't seem interested. I ask him questions relating to topics that I ...
A. 9 June 2005: Since he's working so much, he values his down time very highly now. Try to arrange an outing where the two of you will be captured in the atmosphere and you'll have something to talk about. The sleep issue? He'll have to decide whether he wants ... (read in full...)
My bf says he likes me "a lot", but then talks about having sex with other girls!
Q. My boyfriend says that he likes me a lot. That he cares about me. But as soon as we get around his friends, all he ever does is talk about having sex with other girls. I don't mean that he goes out and actually does it. Sometimes I think he ...
A. 9 June 2005: That's the culprit there!-his friends. He is trying to impress his friends. He's acting like he's a ladies' man. He is doing this to boost his ego among his friends. He's trying to prove to them that he is still cool. His friends probably give ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get over him, now that we've broken up?
Q. How do I get over him? OK, so I finally decided not to get back with my ex. It's great to finally have a little clarity in my life, but I'm not exactly happy! Because the split was amicable and we didn't really fall out, I'm finding it reall...
A. 9 June 2005: Cut all ties completely. Tell him you need space to get over the relationship. If you're still friends, he should understand. And if he doesn't, oh well. You are in control of you. And you have to take care of yourself. Take the necessary ... (read in full...)
He seems to think of me all the time, so why has he got a new girlfriend?
Q. I've been in love with the same man for 7 years. We've been on and off. He has a girlfriend now but he still have feelings for me, and he's very honest about what he feels. To me he seems confused. I love him and I want to be with him but I don't ...
A. 9 June 2005: Let him go for good. Please don't waste any more time on him. It seems he thinks of you good enough to keep around when he needs you for...sex?...possibly... The point is he doesn't think of you as long term material such as marriage. If he did, ... (read in full...)
Our relationship has had some tough moments, but now he just won't answer my calls...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a very serious relationship for the past year and a half. We have both gone through some tough personal moments, but our relationship together has always been very strong. Suddenly he stopped answering my calls, h...
A. 9 June 2005: Tell him you need to know what he's feeling...if he wishes to keep a relationship with you. You two need to have the "talk". His behavior is questionable. He seems to be afraid or possibly guilty and he feels he cannot face you. But I'd get down ... (read in full...)
I'm a girl in love with my best girl friend... but she's already with a guy!
Q. Ok my problem is that I'm in love with my best friend. I'm a lesbian and she is a girl- I've never actually told her this outright, but it's quite obvious so I guess she might kinda know. But she has a boyfriend (the 3 of us live together with an...
A. 9 June 2005: Be a supportive friend to her. She is in a relationship right now. Maybe she's so close with you because she highly values your friendship. Maybe you are such a good friend she wants to spend loads of time with you. You mentioned that you tell ... (read in full...)
Could I have had an orgasm and not known it?
Q. I have great sex with my boyfriend and I love it; I become super wet, horny, and tittilated, but I don't know if I have ever had an orgasm. Is it possible that I have had one and I don't know it?...
A. 9 June 2005: No, you've never had one. Believe me, you will know when you do. Your body will shudder in complete overpowering ecstasy usually in about 10 to 20 seconds depending on the intensity. Each orgasm experience is a tiny bit different. Some last 25 ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend allows his female friend to give him bad advice, then critcises me for pointing it out!
Q. My boyfriend has this older women/friend in his life who behind his back is trying to sabotage our relationship. She is very subtle and sly, she insults, guilt trips me and badmouths me to others, manipulate & gives him obvious bad relationship ...
A. 9 June 2005: If you're ready to leave, give your boyfriend an ultimatum. It's you or his friend. He obviously holds her opinions and thoughts above yours. It's almost as if she's jealous of your relationship with him. And she's annoying as a bad ... (read in full...)
I feel like my sister is older, prettier and flirtier... and she's trying to get my guy's attention!
Q. I really need some help! I'm 15 and have a really low self esteem. Most of that due to my older sister who is 19. She smaller, slimmer and a lot prettier. She can flirt with anyone and I always get people saying to me "is THAT your sister?". I'm ge...
A. 8 June 2005: I know what you mean. I have a younger sister who is just 2 years younger and she is a HUGE FLIRT. I am more reserved. OK, back to you. I think you should kick Sam to the curb. No girl needs that...sister or no sister. Keep your head up. You ... (read in full...)
I like to fantasise about other women, but I'm still sure that I'm straight and my bf doesn't understand!
Q. My fiance has found out that I have sexual fantasies about women and now he thinks I am gay. He doesn't believe me when I tell him that it is just a fantasy. I don't think I could ever be with a woman physically, but I do enjoy fantasising about ...
A. 8 June 2005: Having a fantasy and experiencing the actual act are definitely two seperate things. I've experienced fantasies myself but I would never think of acting on them. The beauty of a fantasy is that it could never happen. If you act out a fantasy, ... (read in full...)
Sometimes she's nice, sometimes a bitch, sometimes she tries to flirt... It's so confusing!
Q. I am a fifteen year old girl and very confused. I have a girlfriend who I feel has been coming on to me. Is she attracted to me? I don't what to do, but we are not talking to each other anymore after a row we had after sobering from a drunken ...
A. 8 June 2005: She's toying with you. She gets a kick out of it. When she's happy, she wants to be nice. When she feels down about herself, she bitches at everyone around her to make herself appear and feel better. When she flirts, she is doing it for her ego. ... (read in full...)
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