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anonymous
writes: I have been friends with this guy for about 4 years now and I know that I love him, as more than a friend. Recently we have crossed the line and have slept together twice. He says that he doesn't deserve me, but I think he is trying to blow me off. But he also says he likes me as more than a friend. Wat should I do? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): honey,he is not going to drop you, he is just saying that you deserve better and he thinks you are too good for him and the only way to change his mind is to tell him that you want to be with him and to you, he is perfect.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): Lowest common denominator. Rule of thumb. Guys don't normally "lie" about things like this..
There are two scenarios.. guys who say they don't deserve you and really don't step up (through ACTIONS)to show you that they cherish you. Not a good thing. Pleeeeassse don't try to "convince him". I'm sorry, but this is his way of saying..He's "not that into you". yOU CANT be responsible for "building" his selfesteem. he needs to do that on his own.
NOW, a guy truly crazy about you ( and you deserve that) may not feel he deserves you - IF HE REALLY FEELS THIS WAY HE WON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD! --- but will quickly decide, that if you are that important in his life and if he cherishes you for you and what you bring to his life... He will step up and try and become a/the man he feels you deserve.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): I think its you feeling inadequate, giving you the idea that he's going to drop you. he could mean it totally sincere. men have a totally different idea of wording the feelings to us(women). so unless you've physical evidence to back up this theory, i think you'll be fine
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2005): He has definately either cheated on you or isn't satisfing you in some way or another.
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (14 June 2005):
 I think you should ask him straight out if he wants to be with you or he doesnt. I hate it when guys do that, just messes you about don't it? Come straight out with it otherwise you will be confused for the rest of your life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2005): I think that he just want to be friends
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (11 June 2005):
 Man oh man, I hate to reference pop culture like this but all I can think of is that hideous book/phrase/cultural phenomenon: He's Just Not That Into You.You love this guy? Or want him, at least, more than a friend? Tell him. Say, "Wow, I know you like me more than just as a friend, but I gotta tell you, it's killing me to have you and yet not have you. So until you know for sure, I gotta go. Bye."He'll either be cool... or not. He'll step up... or not. But you'll have your answer. The important thing here is to put yourself first: take care of YOUR needs, and make him declare himself so you don't lose any more sleep over this. Good luck!
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reader, Cutie_Mish +, writes (10 June 2005):
hmm, sounds like he's one of those guys that is looking for casual sex! sorry to tell ya that but now that he has got what he wants, he mite be making excuses to not get too attached! i think its best you talk to him and ask him whats happening between you both, see if he wants to take it to the next level, maybe he is just feels like he is a bad person and you deserve better, i tend to feel like a bad girl and say it to guys! but the guy always convinces me that i do deserve him, maybe you should do the same, next time he says he doesn't deserve you, just tell him he does and that you want to last or something! good luck! xXx
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (10 June 2005):
 He just wants to have sex with you and that's it. No emotions, no attachments, no relationship mumbo jumbo from his point of view. Better let this one go. Before you get to caught up.
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reader, lil-haz +, writes (10 June 2005):
 hi, he is not trying to blow you off, he is saying this because he loves you, and he thinks you're too nice to be with him and that you deserve better, explain to him, that you do love him and you do want to be with him, maybe you are not showing as much affection as you should.please rate this answer :D xx hope it helped
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (10 June 2005):
 Find out exactly what is causing him to have such low confidence in himself to think he doesn't deserve you.
He says he likes you more than a friend and you do him which is probably why you have now slept together.
Unfortunately, while he may be thinking he doesn't deserve you, you could be thinking he is just using that as an excuse not to see you.
You need to talk and establish exactly what you both feel for each other. It could be that the friendship just went a bit too far and that, in a way, you now need to backtrack (if this is possible) or it could mean that you both have deeper feelings for each other and you could have a proper relationship.
The only way to find out is to talk. Ask him what he wants. Reassure him if he really feels he isn't good enough and take it from there.
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