Like what
they write?
... Add *our big sis to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *our big sis a private message | | | *our big sis's profile: I have always been drawn to help others out whether it's emotionally, physically, and financially. I had a great role model- my mother. She was dedicated to helping women and children suffering from domestic abuse and I can't remember how many people my mom helped- there were so many, but I do remember the faces of relief when help was offered. We had one vacant room in our house and it was always occupied by a family in need. And sometimes we'd have the living room as a camp refuge. Seeing what an impact one person can do by helping another in need is my drive.
I am the oldest of 5 children. My parents divorced when I was 6 years old and we lived with my mother growing up. I helped my mother raise my younger siblings and have experienced about every question, problem, disagreement four young people could muster up. And of course, my own life trials. I guess you could say that's where I get my need to help someone in need. I'm a wife and mother of two residing in Dallas, Texas. |
|
Sometimes she's nice, sometimes a bitch, sometimes she tries to flirt... It's so confusing!
Q. I am a fifteen year old girl and very confused. I have a girlfriend who I feel has been coming on to me. Is she attracted to me? I don't what to do, but we are not talking to each other anymore after a row we had after sobering from a drunken ...
A. 8 June 2005: She's toying with you. She gets a kick out of it. When she's happy, she wants to be nice. When she feels down about herself, she bitches at everyone around her to make herself appear and feel better. When she flirts, she is doing it for her ego. ... (read in full...)
He keeps telling me that he'll break up with his boyfriend so we can be together... but I want to know where we stand!
Q. I am 19, and a gay guy. I met a guy online, and we got on immediately. I knew he had a boyfriend, so we kept it friendly at first. After a while, he started coming over for drinks etc. And we grew to really like each other. After a few weeks, he ...
A. 8 June 2005: You took almost a 100% chance of getting hurt. You entered an already established relationship with an faithful partner. He lied to his boyfriend to get with you. Now he's lying to you to have ample access into your bed. If you wish to stop him ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 years old, and I just don't get turned on by men. Am I a lesbian?
Q. Ok I'm Not Sure How To Put This, But I'm Sure I Need Advice. I Feel I Cant Go To My Friends So Here Goes. I Think I'm A Lesbian For The Simple Reason Males Dont Seem To Turn Me On. I'm 17 Years Old. I'm Worried People Won't Accept Me For Who I Am...
A. 8 June 2005: Maybe you're a late bloomer, I was. I didn't have a relationship with a guy until I was 19. I thought I was lesbian too. I was very confused and disoriented as far as where do I fit in. Give it some time. And if you are attracted to women ... (read in full...)
When my husband tells his gay friend about our marital problems, should I worry?
Q. My husband has a real good friend for a while now. The friendship is even closer that we moved back to town. He confides with this person about our marital problems. My issue is his good friend is homosexual. It's a little uncomfortable for me to ...
A. 8 June 2005: Let him know how you feel. And don't treat the problem like it's a joke. Because if you're just teasing your husband he will never know how serious this issue is to you. I don't think you should worry. Friends come in all shapes and sizes. I ... (read in full...)
We're getting close to having sex for the first time, and I'm not confident at all!
Q. I'm a 24 year old female and I've been with my boyfriend who's 25 for 6 weeks now. I really feel like we're at the stage where we are about to have sex for the first time. I really do want this to happen but at the same time I'm scared. I have sle...
A. 8 June 2005: Talk to him about your feelings on sex. You can tell him what's make you comfortable and what doesn't. That way you won't have an awkward moment when you're in the sheets. And talking about what you want could be really sexy and lead up to the ... (read in full...)
Is the difference between his 16 years and my 14 as big as it feels?
Q. I have been going out with this really great guy for about two months now and it has been really great but I feel as if he is just going out with me for something I can't give him...but we have a 2 year difference. like I am 14 and not experienced ...
A. 8 June 2005: The levels of your bodies maturing are on different levels. He may be full of testosterone (male hormone) and you are in the beginning stages of womanhood. Everyone's body is different. So don't feel pressured to do anything that you do not want ... (read in full...)
I can't last five minutes during sex. Help!
Q. Im a 21 year old male who suffers from premature ejaculations. I dont know what is wrong, I lost my last relationship because of it! Take masturbation as an example, I dont enjaculate quickly but if I have sex I don't last 5 minutes! How do I ...
A. 8 June 2005: Just like everything else, you try anything new, it will take practice to do well. My husband didn't know how to hold back an ejaculation until I showed him how. And we were about your age when we got married. It is a skill that you will have to ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my science teacher... and he's engaged.
Q. I'm confused on how to act next with this problem. I'm 14 and have recently fallen in love with my science teacher who is roughly ten years older than me, also he has a fiance. This is honestly the first guy I have ever felt totally in love with ...
A. 8 June 2005: Honey, every young woman has a crush on an older man at one time or another in their teen years. But that's what makes them crushes, knowing it could never happen. (Or should never happen in this instance.) Crushes come and go. You are 14 years ... (read in full...)
Would I be better off taking back my ex?
Q. My boyfriend wants me back. We were together 3 years, unhappy for one. I met someone else who makes me laugh and can give me support, but I'm always asking What If? What if I took my ex back? Please help, I'm very confused, and the stress is making ...
A. 8 June 2005: Honey, your ex had his chance and he blew it right? Well, how do you know this new guy in your life will blow his? You won't know unless you give your new guy a chance. Stop thinking about the what-ifs. The what-ifs are so petty because you know ... (read in full...)
I want us to get married in the next year, but her career seems to be more important!
Q. hello, I am a 25 yr old guy in love with a 21 yr old girl. We have been together dating each other from past 2 yrs now, initially she was my french teacher, being so young I was thoroughly impressed by her intelligence and smartness, it at...
A. 8 June 2005: I know her leaving has to be heart-wrenching for you right now. But isn't it better to know her reserves before you get married? You have two months left to sit down and communicate how you feel about this. Put everything on the table, even if ... (read in full...)
How can I make sex wonderful for my virgin girlfriend?
Q. Hey everyone, I've been going out with my girlfriend for two months now, and recently she's started hinting that she might want to have sex. Which is great! But the one thing I'm worried about is that she's a virgin... I have had sex before and...
A. 8 June 2005: Start in missionary position. Let her guide your penis in. Don't push until she gives you a signal. Put her hands on your hips and tell her you will only begin to SLOWLY push in when she pulls you toward her. That way she feels in control and ... (read in full...)
Why do I find so much excitement in the idea of sex with men who are below my standards?
Q. I am a 31 year old good looking woman (quite a lot of people have adivsed I go for modelling), intelligent, fun and so forth.I orgasm with men I either don't love, quite below my standards or men I don't care for but not with men I find attractive ...
A. 8 June 2005: It's part psychological. You do not desire a man up to your mental, social, physical standards because you are afraid that you will not measure up to him. So you have totally blocked it out of your mind. Just playing with the idea of hooking up ... (read in full...)
I don't want my ex back... I just want him to acknowledge that I was a good woman!
Q. For the past year I have been dating a man, 19 years my senior. He was overseas for almost 20 years and decided to come back home, giving an impression that he was wealthy and had his own business. It later transpired he is broke and lives his ...
A. 8 June 2005: Honey, let it go. If you haven't proved now by staying with him all that time even when he created a huge string of lies, your proof now still won't be good enough. It's a lost cause. You are an angel. I personally would had never kept the jerk ... (read in full...)
My online guy isn't over his ex... but I want him to know that I'm The One for him!
Q. I met this great guy on-line and he has been very upfront and honest with me. He and his ex-girl just broke up 3 months ago. However he states he has not gotten over her and is pretty obsessed with her, and yet he tells me I am 310 times better than ...
A. 7 June 2005: Hmmmm.... You wish to pursue a relationship with a man who openly told you that he is OBSESSED WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. Honey, wake up! He already told you he is not ready for another relationship. What is with women who think they can change a man ... (read in full...)
I think he smokes too much dope, but he doesn't care and says he'll do it anyway!
Q. Hello, I need advice on my relationship with my boyfriend.We have been going out with each other for a while now, but there is this one thing that he does that makes me mad. He smokes and gets high mostly every day. I try to confront him and...
A. 7 June 2005: Tell him it's me or the weed. Most likely he will choose the weed so be prepared to leave. Are you so serious about this relationship with this guy that you are willing to marry and bear his children? I hope not, because the only thing this guy ... (read in full...)
What can I say to my friend to convince her to leave her abusive boyfriend?
Q. I have a very dear friend who has been involved in a relationship with a guy for about 18 months now. He has, over this time, become emotionally and mentally abusive towards her, and it is breaking her down. She was always a friendly, bubbly ...
A. 7 June 2005: Tell her that you have been seeing a guy for two weeks and you really really like him. Then say the guy is so possessive and controlling and he threatened to hit you. Ask her for her advice on what to do. Then tell her to tell herself because ... (read in full...)
We kissed on the first date... but then he SMS'd me to say he regretted it!
Q. Hi there, About two weeks ago my brother-in-law introduced me to this guy he used to work with. He had given him my phone number and he called me on a Sunday evening, we chatted for about an hour and he asked me on a date the following Saturd...
A. 7 June 2005: The only way you'll know is if you come right out and ask him if he thinks you two should seek a second date. Then you can put all your feelings to rest. If he doesn't want to pursue a relationship, oh well. You will still have him as a friend.... (read in full...)
He's made comments I haven't responded to yet. But what do his emails mean?
Q. Hi, there's a lot of chemistry between myself and a guy I used to work with. He once said to me- 'I feel like I connect with you.' Year later, he emailed me (in response to one of my emails) and wrote ' I think about you on many levels'. Six months ...
A. 6 June 2005: Stop bothering that man! His comments have no relationship vibes. You mistook his mere friendship for something more. Stop it or you will soon lose if friendship also.... (read in full...)
Attracted to my best friend's wife, though we both know better than to do anything about it...
Q. A passionate embrace ignited feelings for my best friend's wife ( his sister is my partner!). I am also good friends with their parents. Only a brief phone call to this lady has occured since. We have agreed not to pursue a relationship as the ...
A. 6 June 2005: Try to avoid this woman unless absolutely necessary. Go find your own potential wife. Although I don't think that's what you're after...seems you're just looking for a quick hop in the sack with a woman you should not have. Some best friend you ... (read in full...)
I was the one who broke it off. Now I want to get over him!
Q. I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend who is married and is trying for a baby with his new wife. I was the one who ended our relationship 5 years ago How can I stop thinking about him and regretting what I've done? ...
A. 6 June 2005: Ah yes! You, my dear, are one of many women who have realized what they have lost after breaking a man's heart. I'm sorry, sweetie. He's not coming back no matter what you think. He's found what seems to be his perfect love because he married ... (read in full...)
The woman I love lives in Australia and I've been loyal for 5 years...
Q. Hi, I am loyal for my best lady since 2000 since I saw her and I still love her when she call me each day. She is woman and she has divorced. I loved her with craz. I am noble , I am loyal. It has been nearly 5 years. But I live in anot...
A. 6 June 2005: Yes, now you're just wasting your time. You have wasted 5 years and will waste more time if you continue your relationship. Be friends with her. In time, you will find someone close to you (hopefully in the same city) and you have total pleasure ... (read in full...)
At the party, things went well, but she hasn't called me since. Do I call her?
Q. I'll try to make this short. I met this girl on the internet and he hit it off pretty good and have had long conversations for about a month. We met face to face on Friday and things went very well in my opinion, and she invited me to a party th...
A. 6 June 2005: I think you should go ahead and call her. You both put equal time into getting to know each other. It's worth finding out what she thought about you. If she had a good time with you. If she'd like to see you again. And three days is plenty of ... (read in full...)
I make him happy in ways his wife can't... Now what do I do?
Q. I have somehow gotten myself into a relationship with a married man. He set boundaries at the beginning stating what he was comfortable with happening between the two of us, but he has slowly broken all of his own rules. He is definitely starting to ...
A. 6 June 2005: An affair with boundaries? Wow! That sounds so grown up! Yeah, right. Stop fooling yourself. This relationship was wrong and emotionally unhealthy to begin with. Get outta there. If you stay, you only wonder if he thinks about his ex-wife all ... (read in full...)
He told me that he'd contact me when he was single, but it's all gone quiet...
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a few months which started as a sex based fling, but I started to fall for him and wanted our relationship to move on. He told me at the start that he had a girlfriend who he said he was not that interested in and that he ...
A. 6 June 2005: Yes, get over him. And remember starting anything remotely similar to a fling is just that- a fling. And next time you hear the phrase "I have a girlfriend, but I'm not interested in her..." get the hell outta there. Watch yourself with your ... (read in full...)
My husband is so critical of everything! Did I make the right decision about leaving the relationship?
Q. I have been married for 11 years & have had many problems in my marriage in this time. I love my husband but feel I can no longer live with his critical, moody behaviour anymore. It is not always directed at me but at anything, drivers, teenagers, ...
A. 6 June 2005: You took all the steps you could to try and save the marriage. And ultimately, he made the choice to not try to see the errors of his grouchy ways. You did the right thing. If he wants to be miserable let him be. But you let him know that he is ... (read in full...)
I want to be happy with my husband... but he's fixated on my ex!
Q. I'm married for 5 months. I've got relationship before marriage and my husband knows about it. I want to start my new life and I love my husband, but he keeps talking about the other guy. He makes love to me only once a week and says that it is only ...
A. 6 June 2005: Ask him what can you do to reassure your faithfulness to him. Be gentle. He's hurting because he feels doubt whether you truly love him and whether or not you are still thinking about this other guy. And if you told him about this past ... (read in full...)
Bad feelings from a previous relationship seem to be following me into my new, good one!
Q. I met my current partner about 4 months ago. He is 22 and I am 23. Basically I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years and had hassles for a long time afterwards. I struggle with depression due to this and previous things and I'm on medicati...
A. 6 June 2005: I understand what you are going through. Personally, I don't think you gave yourself enough time to heal from the bad relationship. But if you really don't want to give up this guy to work on yourself, you will have to try and realize that every ... (read in full...)
I haven't told Mum yet that my boyfriend is 33...
Q. My question is whether to tell my mum I'm seeing an older guy. I'm 17 and I've been seeing a 33 year old for 11 months. My mum thinks he 20 as I haven't had the courage to tell her the truth... I'm scared what her reaction will be and I really don't ...
A. 6 June 2005: You can definitely tell her the age of your man. She will be upset that I can guarantee. I'm a mother myself. But your mother can be a point of your best advice. She loves you, cares for you, and wants the best of every situation for you. And ... (read in full...)
I don't want to break my boyfriend's heart, but I'm not sure if I should be with him or other boys...
Q. Hi, I'm 13 and I've been going out with this boy for 6 weeks and he loves me so much it would break his heart if I left him. I don't wanna but when I'm around other boys I always wanna be with them, and then when I'm with him I wish I never thought ...
A. 6 June 2005: Pumpkin pie...let him down gently. Let him know that although you care for him, you'd rather just be friends. You might be his first crush or first girlfriend, so tell him nicely. Treat others as you would like to be treated. And in the future, ... (read in full...)
He broke it off while he sorts out his alcohol problem, but I want us to try again!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months - we rushed things and moved in together after a month. He is a recovered alcoholic and has recently had a relapse - he has decided to break up with me while he sorts his head out (counselling ...
A. 6 June 2005: He does love you enough to not lead you on. Alcoholism is a destructive disease. He sees that you are a wonderful person and does not to drag you through his problems. Let him be. He's trying to fix a major problem in his life and he's wants ... (read in full...)
Thinking of telling her about my feelings next Valentine's Day. Good idea?
Q. I'm really good friends with this girl and I really love her.She did know I fancied her and we briefly fell out because she thought I was using our friendship to take advantage. We're back to being really good friends now and once we become even ...
A. 6 June 2005: My friend, she sees a wolf in sheep's clothing. You have already taken the first step in letting her know how you feel about her. And the result was not the one you hoped for was it? She KNOWS how you feel, now it's time to let her take the ... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of my boyfriends and all the girls he works with... (long)
Q. Am I ruining my relationship with suspicion? I'm 34 my boyfriend is 33. (We will call him K) We have been together for almost five years. I have been married twice before. Both of them were liars and cheaters. One had a child with my own sister. ...
A. 6 June 2005: Yup, he's cheating. I'm confused...you hooked up with K because you two got off on the right foot because you had a threesome with him??? Darlin', how can you expect him to be faithful when you have already proved that this type of behavior is ... (read in full...)
Now that it's summer and we have time to see each other, it's like he has other things to do!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now, and although the spark hasn't died for me or even fizzled a little, I feel like it might have for him. We went to collegs 2 hours away from each other and saw each other on school holidays and ...
A. 6 June 2005: Hate to tell ya darlin', but there maybe a another woman in this picture. Long distance relationships are tough, especially in your situation two different colleges. You are a very smart woman. I think you have this figured out already. I think ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend deeply, but I still think about my best friend...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and I love him deeply and more than anything in the world. I plan on some day marrying him. But before I was with him I started having feelings for my best friend. At first I thought it was just...
A. 6 June 2005: Some friend you have. She should have backed off because you are in a relationship now. If you have doubts about your sexuality, you should explain this to your boyfriend. Don't string him along because you have doubts about who you are. I ... (read in full...)
I got dumped for a younger girl. Now he's back, but I can't stop thinking of the hurt!
Q. I'm 18. I dated this guy for about 7 months and we were crazy about each other. But we fought a lot, and he ended up breaking up with me to date a girl 3 years younger.... To make a long story short, 4 months later, he was back with me where he ...
A. 6 June 2005: Baby girl, why in the heck did you take this jerk back? You knew you were going to still be jealous. Hurt like this only goes away if you support the healing. Let him go. As long as you are with him, you will continue to feel the hurt. He ... (read in full...)
Dating is harder than it needs to be, because I don't like small talk...
Q. I don't like making small talk and more often than not can't think of things to say. This is making dating hard. Any suggestions?...
A. 6 June 2005: There are alot of things that I don't like to do, but if I am determined enough not to let myself get in the way, I change those things about myself. You, my dear, will have to do the same if you want to court the ladies. First, stop referring to ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to believe him when he says he's just not a sexual person...
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years, and we are for the most part happy with our relationship. We get along great and look forward to seeing each other, but we don't really have sex that much. I would say once a week, maybe twice.. ...
A. 6 June 2005: Something hit me as I read your question...you have a relationship with man for 4 years and you have never lived together? That alone might be the culprit of your problem. He is right for wanting the sex to be spontaneous. Have you thought how he ... (read in full...)
How can I get the spark back into our boring relationship?
Q. Dear cupid, my boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year now and I'm starting to get bored with our relationship and I've stopped wanting to have any physical contact with him. He's always working and I can only see him at night for like an ...
A. 6 June 2005: I've been here before. Is your boyfriend working hard to get that promotion? Is there a reason he's working so hard? Is he also a full-time student with a full-time job? Honey, there is nothing wrong with ambition as long as it helps the both of ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend softening me up for a letdown?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we've recently hit trouble. We don't do anything exciting anymore and he recently told me he sometimes thinks of me more as a friend than his girlfriend. Is this normal or is he letting me ...
A. 6 June 2005: Next time he says you are more like a friend ask me if that's a good or bad thing. Four years is a long time with a boyfriend. Try having a heart to heart discussion with him. Leave tempers and name-calling out. If things get too tense, go in ... (read in full...)
I'd like for our relationship to be going somewhere, but he's adamant he won't take on my son...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for just over 2 years. We do love each other but there is one barrier - he will not take on anyone else's child. I have a son from a previous relationship. He has a son from his previous too, whom he sees every ...
A. 6 June 2005: I have a son from a previous relationship so I know first-hand your situation. Ask yourself this question: Who matters to me first? My boyfriend or my son? I hope the answer is the latter or you have a serious problem. A loving parent always ... (read in full...)
If I tell my friend I love her, it might be a big shock, so should I tell all, or not?
Q. I'm deeply in love with one of my really good friends and I intend to tell her but I don't know if she'll be freaked out if I tell her I love her. So do you think I should tell her I love her or should I just tell her I feel really strongly?...
A. 5 June 2005: Depends...if she's in a relationship right now, do not tell her. If she's single, why not? Most women would prefer falling in love with a good friend than a stranger off the street. And be prepared if she rejects you, maybe she really finds you ... (read in full...)
| *our big sis's friends
These are mutual friends, so *our big sis has
added them and they have added *our big sis!
|
