A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Might sound that I am overreacting but am in desparate need of opinions.The other day my boyfriend ordered himself a drink, I then asked him what it was, ans he said it was it cointreau and lemonade and it was one of his favourite drinks. It wasn't the drink that bothered me but his answer. We have been going out for 5years and in that time he has never ordered or drunk that drink and yet it is one of his favourites.Why this bothered me even more is the last couple of months he has realy made love to me, and when I am not at his house he is always out and about and when I come over he just sleeps all day and doesn't want to do anyhting. I get the feeling once in a while he is not being faithful to me and I am finding myself hating him and not trusting him. My question is am I overreacting or is there something more?Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): I dont think you are overreacting. It sounds odd that you dont know his favourite drink. He obviously goes out drinking a lot when you arent around and this has become his new favourite drink! Whether he is seeing other women or not is something you need to find out, so a little snooping might be in order. It certainly sounds as if he has stopped having any great interest in you for some reason, if hes not having sex and just wants to laze around and sleep when you visit. That isnt what you would expect from someone that is really keen on you. I would do a little homework, maybe talk to a friend of his that you trust and ask if theres anything you need to know and be watchful for a few weeks, see if you can assess things a little before accusing him of anything. It might just be a temporary lull in the relationship that isnt connected to cheating. He might just feel uber comfortable with you and hes not making much effort because he doesnt think he needs to.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 A feeling is never to be dismissed. So let's think about this.His drink might be a new favorite. He very well could have been suggested it by a bartender, or he could have seen someone else drink something really neat looking and asked what it was. I fell in love with the B-52 when I saw a bartender make one for another customer, and it was fascinating.I'm thinking you meant to say "He hasn't really made love to you?" And he's out constantly except when you two are alone together? It's possible that he either may be cheating, or he's getting lazy and comfortable, or he's looking to break up with you. Or, it could simply be that he's having stress in some other area in his life, which is making him take you for granted.SweetSmoochy is 100% correct. It's a talk you'll be dreading. However, I would not bring up cheating unless you discover more evidence to that affect. Emails, texts, phone numbers, GPS addresses, the way his friends act around you, etc. But whether he is cheating or not, you deserve much better.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Try talking to him about it. Keep calm and sincere and bring up the things that are bothering you first, putting emphasis on the lack of interest he seems to be having in you. Then, bring up your worries that he is cheating. If you talk it out, you will come to some sort of a conclusion, even if it isn't the one you are necessarily hoping for. If it does end up that you two are on the last legs of your relationship, don't be afraid to let go because something greater lies beyond it. If you two are able to work it out, that's wonderful!Best of Luck
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