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... Send *ed1982 a private message | | | *ed1982's profile:Hey everyone
I am a 26 year old working mum of two. I have been married for coming up two years, but was a single parent for three years before that.
I enjoy answering peoples problems because I think that any way to help people has to be a good thing, and I think i'm quite an understanding person.
So ask away and I'll see what I can come up with. |
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I always get guys worked up about having sex. But when it comes down to having sex. I chicken out. Any tips?
Q. I always get guys worked up about having sex. But when it comes down to having sex. I chicken out. Any tips?...
A. 11 March 2008: Are you still a virgin? Or has something about sex scared you?
I think you need to be in a more committed relationship with someone and then you'll be less scared about taking the next step.
And please do stop teasing men - one day you may get ... (read in full...)
I regret the abortions I've had, and I'm concerned I won't be able to conceive a sibling for my daughter and move on in life...
Q. Well here it goes...THIS IS A REAL PERSONAL MATTER. I PREFER NO JUDGEMENT. Just advice please. I am 24yrs old. I have had 4 pregnancies. 3 abortions and 1 live birth (a daugther). I was always the type that thought i would never do that. However, ...
A. 7 March 2008: I think talking to your Dr about the abortions would be a good idea - if only to put your mind at rest. I'm sure that you will be fine though.
Take care of yourself.
xx... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has asked for a break...how do I handle this?
Q. so here is my story: Me and my boyfriend have been going out for three years now and have had an amazing and close relationship. Last year he had some problems juggling study and full time work so I suggested we take a break as he should organise...
A. 6 March 2008: I think you should trust him and wait for him. He seems like he has been honest with you so far, and you can see that he has a lot on his plate.
Give him the space he needs to concentrate on his work and he'll appreciate it. That way you know tha... (read in full...)
Should I take a leap of faith for someone who doesn't want to commit?
Q. Help - should I take a leap of faith for someone who doesn't want to commit? I've been dating someone for half a year and he's moving 6 hours away for work. He did not ask me to go along with him but when I asked if he would like me to be there with ...
A. 6 March 2008: If he's asked you to come with him then he obviously cares for you more then he lets it show. You've met his family and friends and that speaks volumes.
I would say go for it, as long as you have somewhere to come back to if all should go wrong... (read in full...)
I bled after losing my virginity, is this normal?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm not very confident in writing this but really need advice. Anyway hear it goes, I lost my virginity last Friday to my b/f and hardly bled after more like a spot more then anything, then monday again hardly anything, but then ...
A. 6 March 2008: This sound the same as my experiences with my first boyfriend. The first time was not that painful (it seemed it at the time but compared to the second time....)
The second time I bled very heavily during intercourse and then bled for a couple of d... (read in full...)
If I have anal sex do I keep my virginity in tact?
Q. My man and I want to make love but I don't want to lose my virginity yet. He has convinced me that if we have anal sex then this will be possible. Is this true?...
A. 6 March 2008: First I would like to ask you why you don't feel ready to lose your virginity.
If you have anal sex then your hymen would still be intact, but in your mind (and to most other people's minds) you would not still be a virgin. And I would imagine ... (read in full...)
First should I stay and try to help him get clean or should I leave before the baby comes?
Q. I need some advice. I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 26. I am 16 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I moved in together and I found out that he uses prescription drugs and cocaine. He also drinks alcohol. I found out about all this when I was 5 ...
A. 6 March 2008: Your boyfriend will not be able to stop on his own. He may think he can but he won't be able to, and having a new baby will just add to his stress and give him more excuses to rely on drugs and alcohol.
I understand that you want to stand by... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever done what my co-worker did and not use a condom for first-time sex with someone?
Q. One of my co-workers was talking about her new boyfriend the other day amongst several of us women during our lunch break. We knew she usually didn't have sex right away when dating a new guy. She really likes the guy she has currently started ...
A. 6 March 2008: I think she is safer getting him to have STD checks then she would be using a condom with a man that doesn't know if he has a disease or not. Condoms are not reliable against all diseases, and there is always the chance that they may split, so I ... (read in full...)
I regret the abortions I've had, and I'm concerned I won't be able to conceive a sibling for my daughter and move on in life...
Q. Well here it goes...THIS IS A REAL PERSONAL MATTER. I PREFER NO JUDGEMENT. Just advice please. I am 24yrs old. I have had 4 pregnancies. 3 abortions and 1 live birth (a daugther). I was always the type that thought i would never do that. However, ...
A. 6 March 2008: I certainly won't judge you for having abortions, but I think that you are judging yourself, and far too harshly. You made the decisions you did because of the circumstances at the time, even if now you look back and see that things could have been ... (read in full...)
Excuses, excuses...why does he offer if he never follows through with his promises?
Q. My boyfriend constantly promises me little things like giving me back massages and gives me his word he will do it. i say 'are you sure? you promise?' and he says yes, and he even offers to do it for however long i want! Then, EVERY single nig...
A. 6 March 2008: It may be that at the time he feels like he wants to do something nice for you, then just can't be bothered to put the effort in.
I suggest that tou treat him the same, offer him something that you know that he will really enjoy, make promises all ... (read in full...)
I am almost 9 months pregnant and caught my husband cheating with text sex...
Q. I am nearly nine months' pregnant and caught my husband cheating with text sex. We've been together eight years and married for nearly five. He's 10 years younger hadn't had any serious relationships before me and wants to live by himself but still ...
A. 6 March 2008: You poor thing, as if being pregnant and having all the worry that comes with being a new mother isn't hard enough to deal with. You now have to contend with the decision to forgive your husband for what is a terrible breach of trust, at the most ... (read in full...)
Old flame on Facebook - contact or not?
Q. About 25 years ago, I was at a week long residential course. The second evening, I met this fabulous girl, and we really got on well. The next evening, our eyes met across a crowded room, and from then on we were basically inseparable for the rest ...
A. 6 March 2008: I agree completely with Eve. Your wife has forgiven you for your infidelity, but if she finds out that you've made contact with this woman again - even just to say 'hello how are you' she will be devastated. I know I would be. She may think that you ... (read in full...)
I felt sexual tension between me and my husband's friend, who is also my best friend, now however he is avoiding me. Why?
Q. i am a married woman.recently i was with my husbands friend alone at home.he is actually my best friend now cos i used to talk to him everything and he used to talk to me everything.we have been mates for last 2 years.we used to talk for ...
A. 4 March 2008: He obviously felt the same thing as you and is trying to avoid you so that he cannot do anything further. He recognises that you are a married woman and will not cross the line.
It sounds like it is the most sensible thing to do for the moment. ... (read in full...)
Do sleeping pills have nasty side affects?
Q. Are sleeping pills any good? Do they actually work and are there ones that dont make you sick? I was put on anti depressants some years ago but the side affects were horrendous, and i just couldnt take them. Ive got 2 kids and I have a lot going...
A. 4 March 2008: It sound more like depression then sleeping problems (I suffer with depression too). Very much linked together. The fact that you wake up a lot flagged up depression anyway.
I used to take anti depressants but didn't like the way I was on them - c... (read in full...)
Do sleeping pills have nasty side affects?
Q. Are sleeping pills any good? Do they actually work and are there ones that dont make you sick? I was put on anti depressants some years ago but the side affects were horrendous, and i just couldnt take them. Ive got 2 kids and I have a lot going...
A. 4 March 2008: I take herbal sleeping pills from Holland and Barrett when I really need them, they don't have any nasty side effects, prescription pills always make me spaced out the following day. They are not as effective as ones from the Dr though.
You m... (read in full...)
His ex is stalking us and I am frightened.
Q. Update on his ex won't leave us alone -Harassing phone calls. Hi guys I have been dating a wonderful man for the past 6 months and his ex wife has been making harassing phone calls to my partner and I. I successfully had calls traced with the ...
A. 4 March 2008: Oh my god, I'm not surprised you are scared, she sounds like a complete nutter. My sister was stalked by her ex boyfriend for nearly two years before moving to a refuge - and he then managed to get an injunction out on her for harrassing him, lots ... (read in full...)
Is she pregnant or trapping him?
Q. I have a problem, I split from my 10 year relationship back in September as I was really unhappy, I was pregnant last year and had a miscarriage I was a emotional wrack and decided to end things with my boyfriend as I did not know what I wanted… A ...
A. 3 March 2008: I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, and am pleased that you have finally healed enough emotionally to make another go of your relationship.
Only time will tell if she is pregnant or not, but I certainly wouldn't take her word as gospel. It may w... (read in full...)
I need your help women (PMS issue)
Q. I am planning to go back home this month for 4 days only, but unfortunately my wife will have her pms during that time, so will it be safe to have sex during that period? Have you guys tried it? What shall I expect? Is it true that women are more ...
A. 3 March 2008: As the other aunts said it is perfectly safe - it's just whether she wants to or not. Emotionally she may be more horny, but physically she may not be at all. I always get really bad period pain and headaches for the first few days, so don't ... (read in full...)
How can I get the pill?
Q. This might sound stupid, but I'm really worried about getting pregnant. It would be of great help to me if I could be on the pill. So could someone please explain where I can get it from? I cant see a doctor because my mam would have to take me ...
A. 29 February 2008: Oh and I forgot to say that even if you were under 16 it is your decision to take contraception and you would not need your parents consent. They are not allowed to tell your parents (or guardians) that you have got it either. ... (read in full...)
How can I get the pill?
Q. This might sound stupid, but I'm really worried about getting pregnant. It would be of great help to me if I could be on the pill. So could someone please explain where I can get it from? I cant see a doctor because my mam would have to take me ...
A. 29 February 2008: Most family planning clinics have a teenage drop in clinic, phone them and ask when it is and go along.
You won't get any funny looks there as all the others there are for the same thing and all will be teenagers. They will also be able to talk ... (read in full...)
What's this brown discharge?
Q. hey peeps bn readin ur mails n am amazed.could i be pregnant??????????please advise am i paranoid??had periods in jan 24-27th(26day-cycle)so the next should be on 20th feb,but am missing!!!!though that week had sore breasts,headache,and on the expe...
A. 29 February 2008: It could be a side effect of the morning after pill. I have taken it a couple of times due to forgetting the pill.
Everytime I took it my periods were never on the right date and I got all sorts of strange things, nausea headaches, sore breasts.... (read in full...)
I've moved on but my ex wont leave me alone. How do I convince him without hurting him?
Q. Hi..i need help...i left my husband 5 months ago, i am now in a new relationship with another man, who happens to be a work college of my ex husband,i was with my husband for 7 yrs and have 2 children with him. My ex is saying that the man am with ...
A. 27 February 2008: You can't do this without hurting his feelings.
It will hurt him to know that there is no chance, and that's what he seems to be clinging to at the moment, that this new man will dump you and you'll come running back.
The best thing you can do i... (read in full...)
We have very different views on showing affections. What should I do?
Q. Hi there, my husband, Rick is one of those clingy types; He always wants to spend every waking moment with me. I’ve always thought of him as quite possessive. But I suppose, the most annoying thing about him is that he is always declaring hi...
A. 27 February 2008: I don't have any advice on how to get your husband to stop being like this, just wanted to reassure you that as far as I;m concerned your reaction is completely normal. I don't think you are an 'ice queen' or 'incapable of showing affection' I would ... (read in full...)
Hmmmm.... do I believe her story? Do you???
Q. I left town for two weeks and when I came back one of our condoms was missing. She told me that her daughter's dad tried to have sex with her and she said no and he slept on the floor in the living room where I pay rent. She said she was out by ...
A. 27 February 2008: If you were worried enough to be counting condoms them you must have thought something was going on in the first place.
If you don't think she can be trusted then you should call the relationship quits. ... (read in full...)
When I get angry he calls me mad and when I get upset he has little compassion!
Q. I just feel total resentment for my boyfriend of 6 years. We don't live together, he is 20 years older than me (43), we have sex maybe once a month. I broke it off last year and he met someone else (just a fling, we got back together and he crept ...
A. 27 February 2008: I know it will be hard to let go of this man, but I really think that you should. He takes you for granted and doesn't seem to care about your feelings in the slightest.
I would say to talk to him about how he's making you feel, or to give him an u... (read in full...)
How to convince my wife to have kinky sex? And also suggest a MFM threesome?
Q. OK here it goes. I would like to know what I can do to get my wife to have kinky sex. What I mean by that is I would like her to put on a strap-on on and screw my ass. There are other things i would like to do with her but she shuts me out everytime ...
A. 26 February 2008: You are not going to be able to get your wife to do those things and she will be really upset that you are bi. But I would assume more upset that you didn't confide in her before you got married.
I think you need to have a long talk with your wif... (read in full...)
Can anything be done to help my partner maintain an erection??
Q. Can anything be done to help a man who is unable to maintain an erection long enough to have intercourse. My new partner is unable to complete sex because his erection doesnt last, is this a common problem and how do we sort it? It is very ...
A. 26 February 2008: I can't even begin to imagine how this must make you both feel. I know that he would probably be really embarrassed but he should go to the doctor to talk about it. I know that there are ways they can help (although what they are I don't know).
Y... (read in full...)
We rowed like we never have before after his ex called...was I so wrong in what I said??
Q. Please help me. When I first met my boyfriend I'd known of him for 6 years, working together in a mental health hospital. I had originally asked him out over email before I left my job. Then after I'd been seeing him for 3 months, I found out that...
A. 26 February 2008: I think you two can definately get over this problem. But first you need to apoligise to your boyfriend for accusing him of wanting to sleep with his ex. I admit he over reacted to you saying this but it must have really hurt him. Do you know what ... (read in full...)
I felt so hurt, used, betrayed by this man, whose son I gave birth to. There is also another man in my life, whom I actually love but I'm very confused!
Q. Hi, I need some advice, a different insight, well i'm sure you will understand... Well my question is basically who should I choose? You will understand why in a minute... I'm sorry if this long but I have been pondering this decision for som...
A. 26 February 2008: Please don't stay with either. I know how hard we try to stay with the father of our children, but he will not bring you the happiness you seek, or be a stable and loving father to your baby. I stayed with my baby's fatehr far longer then I should ... (read in full...)
I've made my mind up...what are my rights??
Q. It is thanks, by and large, to the really helpful replies and other articles on this website that I have now found the strength to tell my unfaithful, lying, controlling, husband that I will no longer tolerate his awful behaviour to me. While I was ...
A. 26 February 2008: Before you tell him that you want a divorce go and see a solicitor and talk to them about what you need to do. What evidence of his affair, etc.
Once you have told him that you want a divorce then his guard will be up and you won't be able to ... (read in full...)
Should I call my ex boyfriend's current girlfriend and let her know that he has been playing both of us?
Q. Wondering if i should call my cheating ex boyfriend's current girl and let her know that he has been playing both of us. I am the only one that knows about it. She is only 22 and he is turning 34 this year. So she is young and I would be lying if I ...
A. 26 February 2008: I would strongly recommend that you don't get involved. She pobably wouldn't believe you anyway. My ex boyfriends ex girlfriend came and told me all about him, how violent he was and how he always cheated on her - and I didn't listen to her. I ... (read in full...)
Is she just using me for fun?
Q. Hi all. There's a girl I know who I've been strong friends with for a while. We fell out of touch for a couple of months after she quit uni, due to depression and work. But a few days ago we met up for some drinks, and by the end of the evening we ...
A. 15 February 2008: Could you pelase re-read you question for me, pretend that I asked it and try to tell me the good points about wanting a relationship with this person??
You state that she has a boyfriend that she is quite happy to cheat on (I'm assuming the 'nau... (read in full...)
Planning first time sex. Does it hurt? If so, for how long?
Q. My friend and I have recently been talking about sex, A LOT. I am a virgin and he isnt. A few weeks ago, he asked me if I wanted to have sex, but I said no, because I wasnt ready. Now I am ready, and I have told him this. He is about 100 miles away ...
A. 15 February 2008: Honey you really should wait until you are in a long term relationship with someone you love before you sleep with someone. You'll regret it if you don't. I know because I regret my first time, a lot. He was a friend of mine for a while and I ... (read in full...)
Dating a married man for 3 years and he treats me like a queen. But I'm starting to worry. What should I do?
Q. I've been dating a married man for 3 years. I ignored him for a year because of that reson but he pursed and treated me like a queen. He says he's leaving date after date but their's always an excuse. He's been w her since he was 12 has 2 kids and ...
A. 15 February 2008: I know that I am going to sound really harsh, but what I really don't think that this man will ever leave his wife.
He has already shown you with his actions that he is not going to leave his wife - and it's his actions you need to look at not h... (read in full...)
He won't marry me! Could he be cheating?
Q. i have been with my fiance for 6 years and i am desperate to get married and have children. he has been married before and keeps making excuses that he wants to wait to make sure about a second marriage. he says he does want to marry me but just not ...
A. 15 February 2008: Whether your fiance is cheating or not I couldn't tell you for sure, but it sounds a bit dodgy. It seems strange to leave the room when you answer your mobile. And two valentines cards??
The fact that he won't marry you after 6 years is strange.... (read in full...)
We are "happy" but he talks to new females, then sleeps with them! Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend has cheated over ten times in our home and outside our house. It's always sex and talking on the phone he says he loves me everyone says it's true, you can tell he loves you more then anything but nobody can explain or undersand why he ...
A. 12 February 2008: I agree with Mandy.
I don't doubt that your boyfriend loves you but he will not stop cheating on you without help. I would definitely say that he has a problem, because he does it knowing that it will hurt you, yet he loves you. He also knows now ... (read in full...)
Did he dump me for not having sex or because of his mate?
Q. This is for anyone but like guys to answer as well for there point of view, There was this guy i started seeing at the beginning of the yr,he made the first move and meet up for our first date everything was going well, i stayed round his house a ...
A. 12 February 2008: Either way he sounds like a bit of a jerk (to put it politely). Him and his mate sound really immature and if I were you I would find someone a bit better.
It sounds to me (I may be wrong) that he was more interested in sex then a relation... (read in full...)
He denied maintaining contact with his ex, yet they remained friends (although never met.) I've postponed the wedding already, what should I do for the best?
Q. I have been dating someone for over four years now. We have had our ups and downs but for the most part we are very compatible and in love. My friends and family have lukewarm feeling about him because he often demonstrates some maturity issues. ...
A. 12 February 2008: It must be horrible to know that he lied to you for four years. Has he at least given you an explanation as to why he lied and why he and his ex are still friends? Does he still want to be friends with her?
If they haven't met up then we can safe... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be my brother?
Q. are me and my boyfriend related? my dad and his dad have the same last name but ours are our moms last name and i would like to kno if we are related just because they have the same lastname? ...
A. 12 February 2008: I am assuming that you both know who your fathers are and have contact (or have a least seen what they look like) so know that they are not the same person.
Even really uncommon surnames crop up (my son's Dr has the same last name spelt the same... (read in full...)
My husband had a snip, but could I still get pregnant?
Q. can i get pregnant even though my husband had a snip, but didn't get it reversed?...
A. 12 February 2008: I think there is a slight possiblity of the operation not working correctly. But I certainly wouldn't count on it if you wanted a baby. I think it's as near to 100% effective as you can get. ... (read in full...)
My sister had sex with him. Is it wrong of me to be interested?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and am interested in an old flame. About 6 months ago he had sex with my sister. It was just a drunken night so is it okay for me to sleep with him also?? I have no bad feelings towards my sister or him for what ...
A. 12 February 2008: I have two sisters and the thought of sleeping with someone who had slept with either of them is not pleasant.
Someone who I dated for a while and then broke up with asked my sister for a date (about a year later) and she said no for the same rea... (read in full...)
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