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Did he dump me for not having sex or because of his mate?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

This is for anyone but like guys to answer as well for there point of view,

There was this guy i started seeing at the beginning of the yr,he made the first move and meet up for our first date everything was going well, i stayed round his house a few times but where i wasn't ready to have sex, im still a virgin although i never told him, he keep on saying he was not used to girls wanting to wait.

Anyway 2 weeks into the relationship still no sex and i think he was going off me, anyway his mate asked me to take him somewhere which i did as a favour as he can't drive i thought i was doing a kind thing then he invited me bk to his flat(nothing happened)but after i left to see my bf.

his mate rang him and told him i was round his house and to turn all the lights off so i could go back to his for sex which i would not do anyway,

my bf said he was trying to get in between us,i asked if i could see him again and he said yes,anyway 5 days he ended it saying he did not feel the same as i did through txt

even tho he did all the chasing at the begining. He's a lot older then me with loads of experence,did he dump me for not having sex or because of his mate?

PLEASE HELP

View related questions: still a virgin

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Did he dump me for not having sex or because of his mate?

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2008):

anon_e_mouse agony auntIn my opinion if he did dump you for not having sex then you're better off without him - he was probably only after one thing. Personally, I think it's good you wanted to wait rather than jump right in.

You deserve better :)

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A female reader, red1982 United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2008):

Either way he sounds like a bit of a jerk (to put it politely). Him and his mate sound really immature and if I were you I would find someone a bit better.

It sounds to me (I may be wrong) that he was more interested in sex then a relationship and may have wanted a short relationship, whereas you waiting before sleeping with him indicates that you wanted a more long term relationship. He may have realised this and that's why he said that he 'does not feel the same way' to save hurting you.

Just be glad you didn't sleep with him before finding out that he was like this. Don't waste your virginity, save it for someone special and certainly don't sleep with someone just to keep them - they're really not worth it (I know from experience that it makes you feel worse then just being dumped for being 'frigid')

Take care of yourself

xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008):

What else do you expect from him? You didn't tell him clearly why you want to wait. You didn't tell him that you are virgin. Do you think he is just stupid enough to wait for you without sex with no reason? He clearly told you that he is not used to women who want waiting. So, it is clear he dumped you because you want to wait long (unlimited) wihtout any reason. This makes him to think that you are not interested in him or you have very low or no sexual drive.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2008):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntthis boy was using you for sex, he has probably worked out that after a few weeks of pressure and insistence if a girl has not jumped into bed easy then it will probably require some form of commitment (i would not call dating for a month and having a real relationship commitment but i guess it may be at the extreme end of the wedge for him). Get out now...

the play with his friend may be a ruse to have an excuse to leave you (because he couldnt get inside your pocket) or a ploy to make you feel guilty for something that didn't happen(to make you have sex as a compensatory apology) or his friend was after you-either way you look at it these boys sound like a shallow bunch and you could and should aim higher than to settle for a vehicle for std's

do better!

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