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female
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*aruto
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He is 22 and I am 19, but we act a lot older, which is sometimes good and sometimes not. I honestly love him very much, and we have plans to get married when we feel we're ready. (That's whenever we have a solid feeling of trust and maturity.)We both have felt experimental for a while as far as having a threesome just for fun. Of course he wants it to be with a girl, and it took me a long time to adjust myself to that thought, but now I am ok with it. My confidence is good enough now to handle it. He, however, has very little self-confidence and ever since I've changed enough to make threesomes possible, he doesn't feel up to it. He is especially afraid of doing it with another guy because he thinks he won't compare and I'll leave him, which I won't. This has gotten way worse since I found a guy I would actually have a threesome with (I am very picky.) He is very paranoid, especially when i'm not around because I have to work or do other things. He doesn't trust me or believe anything I say at times, though there are some times when it seems like everything's fine. Something always comes up to remind us it's not, though. Because of all of this, ever since I started talking to the other guy online about 5 days ago, we have been in a desperate state. Before this, we had been talking about the threesome with a girl for about 2 years without it ever happening.I just don't know what to do now. I want to know how to up his confidence in himself, because he is immune to the compliments I give him, thinking I am biased (which I suppose I am.) I want to know whether it was right of me to tell the other guy I can't talk to him anymore, at least until this is all figured out. I can't stand the thought of losing my boyfriend. We're so close everyone always asks why we aren't married yet.Please help me save our realtionship!
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female
reader, pica +, writes (27 October 2006):
Sounds like the 3some is a fantasy idea which turns you both on but would be better not brought into the 'real world'. It hasn't even happened and looks what it's doing to you already. Don't do it, and maybe stop talking about it to each other for a while - do you find yourselves obsessing over it? I don't personally think that sexual experimentation and long-term relationships can go together well basically because relationships can be minefields at the best of times.
A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (27 October 2006):
 Sounds to me that your boyfriend has a mojor issue with trust at the moment. Most guys think of threesomes with two women as a turn on, and this is most likely what he was thinking about at the time he mensioned having one. I doubt very much that he will ever be comfortable haveing one with another bloke, he will not be able to deal with it.
I think the best thing to do is to scrap the idea of a threesome, I can only see it causing problems with the relationship. If you love each other you dont need anyone else to join in on your sexual experiments.
Hope this advice helps :)
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